abuse, domestic abuse, domestic violence, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness

Domestic Violence and Abuse Against Men

Domestic abuse of men is much less heard of  than that of women. It is not culturally accepted of believed that men can really be severely abused by women.

Women are considered the “weaker sex” therefor how could they inflict such damage upon men to be considered abusive? There are a lot of men, however that are in domestic abuse situations that are both mentally and physically dangerous to them. Men are sustain serious injury from objects being thrown at them and being attacked with heavy objects during the insane rage of a narcissistic partner.

Men do not tend to let anyone know when they are being abused. If a man is being physically abused by a wife or a girlfriend they feel that it will be embarrassing to tell anyone. In most cases his family and friends would not believe him. They may even laugh at him.  But domestic abuse, weather physical or mental abuse, is far from a laughing matter.

If a gentle, non-violent  man is subject to physical abuse by a woman,  he may not defend himself against her l attacks. There are women that hit, kick , throw things and burn their spouses. The men do not want to hit her back and they have no way to defend themselves. They allow themselves to be hit and injured and hope that it is just a one time occurance.

They fear that they will injure her if they try to physically defend themselves. Men in our society are also in danger of being accused of abuse. They may be in fear of leaving bruises on their attacker, in their attempt to defend themselves, that she will use against him. The men just cover up the scars and keep it a secret.

There are numerous reasons for a man not to leave the abusive relationship. He may feel that he still loves the person and wants to do better so that the abuse will stop. It is the same mindset that women have when they begin to believe that they deserve to be abused. The narcissist twists the mind of their victim into feeling that they are responsible for the anger of the abuser.

The victim believes that they did something to cause the abusers rage and that if they can mend their ways , the abuse will stop. The victim feels guilty and the abuser plays upon the guilt and feelings of worthlessness of the victim.

” boys are less likely to report
sexual abuse due to fear, anxiety associated with
being perceived as gay, the desire to appear selfreliant,
and the will to be independent.

• In a male-perpetrated assault, the male victim is more
likely to be strangled, beaten with closed fists, and
threatened with guns or other weapons.

• In a female-perpetrated assault, the male victim is
more likely to be kicked, slapped, or have objects
thrown at him.
American  Medical Association

Men are conditioned by society to be the strong and protective sex. They are taught never to see themselves as victims and that society will not believe their cries for help. it is not in the paradigm of the general population that men could be victims.

This makes it very difficult for men to seek help. They fear any stigma attached to male victims of physical abuse.

There are also situations of severe mental abuse of men by their partner. This is similar to the mental abuse of women by a male partner. The abuser criticized the victim and calls them names.

The victim can be manipulated about finances, work and seeking their own health care. Women who are abusers and also control the money may refuse for the victim to  have medical treatments, refuse for any mental health care, refuse food and other basic needs of a person’s well being.

There is also abuse of men by male partners and by family members who they live with. Males attack males with open fists, knives and other weapons. The attacks can be of a violent sexual nature as well.

With the economy being on a downturn, I would predict that the cases of men being abused will increase. As men find it harder and harder to get good paying jobs (or any job at all) they will have to settle for living with anyone who is willing to take them in.

The lack of being able to support themselves will reduce the choices they have as well as reduce their self esteem. The loss of self esteem open someone up to allowing a narcissistic person to have control.

Some men are afraid to leave  because the wife threatens to abuse the children or cut off his contact with the children. This is emotional and mental terrorism. The domestic abuse helpline is for help with this kind of abuse.

According to the National Center for Victims of Crime

men experience many of the same psychological
reactions to violence as women. These include:
• Guilt, shame, and humiliation
• Anger and anxiety
• Depression
• Withdrawal from relationships

I have put  some links below that could be helpful to men who need to seek help. The denial and fear of seeking help could end in someone’s death and will most certainly continue to destroy their mental health and well being.

The statistics gathered by the National Coalition Against Domestic  Violence are that 1 in every 14 men has been physically abused by a partner.

Domestic Abuse HelpLine 1-888-743-5754 (this is a Help line to assist men to get out of abusive relationships and find resources for help with any legal issues , financial and housing problems that can occur. They can guide you to the proper help if you are under threat from someone that threaten to abuse your children or keep them from you if you leave.)


Click to access MaleVictims.pdf





11 thoughts on “Domestic Violence and Abuse Against Men”

  1. This is very true, and if there are children in the home then the Mother is also doing what she can to destroy them as well..

    It’s a sad situation because the perception that men are more likely to be blamed for their predicament is very real, and the children from these homes are expected to “just get over it” when the reach adulthood.

    Great post!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. two things to consider.

    1. you mentioned manipulation by finances, work and seeking their own health care. sex can also be used as a form of manipulation. be good or behave, whatever that might mean, and we’ll have sex.

    2. in our area, if the cops are called someone’s going to sleep it off in jail tonight and likely face domestic violence charges that will run into the thousands of dollars and include months of anger management classes. When the cops show up, it becomes a he said, she said. from that the cop decides who goes. stereotypically, men, consider the the stronger sex, have a better that 50/50 chance of the one being hauled in, no matter the circumstances. damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yes that is true. Some women use sex as a manipulation tool. That can be extremely emotionally abusive, And you are right, the cops will take the man out of the house and to jail, and assume it was his fault without even considering the woman could be the instigator.


  3. I know a male who was in a very abusive relationship just recently! The lady turned out to be untreated BPD. He ended up at a very low, low place (nearly suicidal) and even upon getting up the courage to break up with her, she stole all of his contacts and threatened that she was going to contact all of them individually and spread rumors about him abusing her and all kinds of other horrible things, including to coworkers/bosses! Guys can definitely be victims too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is very sad. When the woman is the abuser it can get very complex for the man to escape. I also knew someone who had a wife that threatened to lie and tell people he physically abused her. She said if he left her, she would inflict bruises and injuries on herself and report him to the police.
      He finally escaped her but it was very stressful and very complicated.
      I knew another man who was afraid to leave because he might lose the kids and I think he was also afraid it would hurt the kids if he took them away from her. At the same time he knew that her anger and raging was hurting the kids too.

      Liked by 1 person

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