anxiety, anxiety attack, avoidant personality disorder, depression, kindness, mental health, mental illness, panic attack, ptsd

Making Changes for Better Brain Function in Avoidant Personality Disorder and Severe Anxiety

Avoidant Personality disorder comes out of a severe fear and anxiety of the consequences. There is a projection into the future of self destruction or of being destroyed by others.

We avoid doing things that other people just do without thinking so much about them. With avoidant personality disorder there is obsessive thinking.

These fearful obsessive thoughts run through the mind around and around. Pictures of horrible things that will happen to us in the future, dominate our entire brain. They override logical thinking and reduce our ability to function properly.

One of the things that makes avoidant personality symptoms worse, is walking through life in autopilot. If we do the same things over and over it is bad our brains.

If we just go through the motions of repetitive tasks and then get up an repeat the same patterns again the next day, we are shutting down the parts of our brain, that we need to be rational.

All parts of the brain cannot be active at the same time. If the fear centers are on overload, then the rational functional parts of the brain is reduced. If we do not use the creativity and ingenuity that we have, then those skills become weaker.

We need to make changes in our behaviors. Not necessarily dramatic changes, but tiny little changes. Just do something that is different during your day.

Read something new, take a different route to work. eat somewhere different, research something new. Anything that we like, but we do not usually make time for.

If we create variation each day, then our brain will learn that it is needed for learning and problem solving. Once the brain begins to work better, then we can approach the tasks that we always avoid, with a new perspective.

Perception and perspective is everything. If we can see situation from a completely different point of view, it will force our brains to wake up. Our ability to deal with problems and complex situations will become higher.



8 thoughts on “Making Changes for Better Brain Function in Avoidant Personality Disorder and Severe Anxiety”

  1. > projection into the future of self destruction or of being destroyed by others.

    So that is what this is called. I am guessing though that when that does happen you are pretty much screwed. My issue worked backwards. The disorder came after the destruction and was caused by the destruction.


    1. This is true. The mental disorders of PTSD and derealization disorder are cause by the abuse and trauma that was inflicted upon us by others. The constant abuse broke things in our brains that are now not functioning the same way they were before the abuse.
      Whenever a situation occurs that triggers the PTSD I have from my past abuse, my brain goes into a pattern that spirals downward. Depending on what the current threat is about and how imminent it feels to me, makes a difference as to how bad my mental state will become. Sometimes I go into post traumatic stress with flashbacks and feeling of powerlessness. Other times, if it is a real threat, I will go into the derealization state and not be able to pull myself out of it or ground myself in any way.
      The most recent bout with derealization state that occurred with me was very severe.

      I wrote a few posts attempting to describe what it felt like from inside of it, but I never really feel like people will understand how bad it is, just from reading the posts.

      My current severe anxiety is over a real situation that I feel is legitimately threatening. My ex husband had told me that he will have to cut off my child support in 2 months, which is basically all of my rent 1.000 for the place I am staying at with the kids. My landlord (my ex father in law and the grandfather of my kids, has made it clear that no rent means no housing for me and the girls.

      My ex husband made an offer (a suggestion) to me that was so terrifying and degrading that I first just did not process it at all and then a few days later I had a mental crash and was in a severe state of PTSD and derealization. That is the reason for my posts about derealization. It was so bad that I thought I was going to lose my job. I was also afraid to drive.

      He told me that he was going to buy a truck trailer thing to live in and that he would get a campground and buy a tent for the kids and I to live in. He was serious and that is basically what he and his family think I deserve. They respect money and people that make lots of money. People that do not earn a lot should live in a tent like a homeless family.

      As I am scrambling to find a way to make extra income, I am running out of time and I can see the sand running through the hourglass. This situation is so traumatic to me that I will end up with post traumatic stress from this, but for now it is live trauma.

      So, yes I agree with you that the mental damage is caused by the abusers and our brain’s own attempt to handle the trauma. I get so afraid of these kinds of things happening, because they have happened to me before, that even opening a simple letter or answering the phone becomes traumatic for me.

      The regular things that other people can do are terrifying to me because my brain runs through all the possible things that could destroy me if I open the letter, take the phone call, go to have the conversation with someone who is requesting it, that I just end up avoiding things completely, even if they would be normal, non-threatening things to someone else.

      When my card does not go through on the first try at the grocery store, I have a panic attack and visions of my ex cleaning out my bank account or the IRS locking up my funds. The on the second try the card goes through o problem. Other people’s brains would not automatically jump to thinking that they are being destroyed but that is what my brain does.

      That is the best I can explain my own brain. It is still a bit disorganized at this time, because I still feel like I am in mental crisis over this threat of losing my shelter for my children and being thrown out by the blood relatives of my children. It is mentally abusive all the way around, which is typical for this family.


      1. 😦 OMG that would be a horrible one and I have had something similar happen to me. I had possession of my home while my ex and I figured things out. ( he was a con artist. ) When we bought the home we put it in his name because after years I was still in court with the previous ex and did not want to risk the home. BAD MOVE. Once he stripped me of all my assets and dignity he pulled a stupid move that caused several large explosions (THE major trigger aside from abuse for my adult onset) . Anyway… I was still in the house (at his request and because I had farm animals and 4 dogs) . We were still battling with lawyers although lame on my end being the one now with no money. Here whoever has POSSESSION has the upper hand. I would park my vehicle in a closed garage so he would never know if I was home or not. He came once and tried to boot the door in and I called 911 and they took him away. He had to try another angle.

        An 11 year friend of mine who he had been conspiring with ( I did not know or even suspect) deliberately told him when and how long I would be at court one day. I came home to find him in the house, a locksmith on site. The RCMP gave me 10 minutes to collect my things including 4 dogs. I had a tiny Sprint car. He got a peace order that said I could not set on the property by claiming I was a RENTER. Due to my lack of mental ability (completely shut down and wrecked) plus lack of money for a lawyer he got EVERYTHING I owned right down to my good wool socks! I was literally on the street with a car full of what I could manage and 2 small dogs and 2 large dogs in kennels.

        I can not even imagine having something like that happen with children involved 😦 Do you not have some sort of Social Assistance / welfare that that can help you be more independent? After running my own business for 13 years ( employing up to 10 staff) and being employed since high school I was desolate enough to need Welfare for the 1st time in my life 😦

        Liked by 1 person

    1. You are quite welcome. I am really glad that we are able to come up with ideas together on WordPress. I love when people give insight about my posts with their comments. Considering ideas from different points of view is a wonderful way to grow our brains 🙂
      Thank you for reading,

      Liked by 1 person

    1. ❤ I am working on ideas. Thank you for bringing it up. If I can make money from wherever I am, on my own, then I I will have a chance to escape from this house and being under the tyranny and mental abuse of these family members.

      I am working on the idea of teaching guitar lessons on skype. I used to make good money teaching guitar lessons. Much better money per hour than I make at my job now. I was thinking of posting something to see if anyone would help me try out teaching over skype in exchange for a few free guitar lessons. It would have to be someone that already has a guitar and access to skype.
      That way I could practice and work out any glitches with someone who would not mind of I had any technical trouble etc. I think if I could get 2 or 3 people to do a few lessons, then I could get over any anxiety over trying something new . I was very good at teaching one on one in person, but the skype may be different in ways I cannot predict.

      That is an idea, that if it works, will increase my stability and then I would not be in such a position to be controlled and threatened. They are so dysfunctional. These are the grandparents of my children. They are charging me a lot of rent. All of a sudden a few weeks ago, they came up here with some stranger to look at my apt. They offered no explanation for who he was . Later one of my kids said that they were showing the house because they are thinking about selling it. Shouldn'd they communicate this to me, since I live here and have no credit, no money (partially due to them overcharging me on rent) and no where to go?
      Is it just me? They act like they are perfectly within their rights and they do not have to discuss anything with me. They can just tell me I have to out in a month. My ex husband says he will buy me a tent and I can live on a campground with two kids in a tent. The family seems to think this is fine.
      I feel like I am in a nightmare.
      So, anyway, thank you for listening. Let me know if you have anyone that would try out the skype with me.


      1. What a great idea – I am so antisocial these days, that I have no idea re guitar students – maybe do a post about it? You sound v resourceful, which is brilliant. And your in laws (outlaws) sound nightmarishly cruel and stupid. Ughhhh … poor you – and your kids, of course.

        Liked by 1 person

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