domestic abuse, life, mental abuse, narcissist

Fictitious Tales of the Passive Aggressive Ex Girlfriend…

Random Thoughts about what might Happen to a narcissistic guy, who thought his girlfriend’s passive aggressive tendencies were cute useful while he was dating using her.

*disclaimer.. This is historical fiction…Not to be taken as suggestions…

**disclaimer 2 …if you do not have a passive aggressive bone in  your body, do not read…it will not be funny…

Other random safety notes...Also, please remove your frozen pizza from the box, prior to placing in the oven. Do not use your curling iron while sleeping. Soup may be very hot when removing glass bowl from microwave. And McDonald’s Coffee should not placed in between your legs while driving…

Enough stupid disclaimers, although I love to read safety instructions when I buy new appliances! On with the post…

An angry ex girlfriend, who has passive aggressive tendencies might…

6. Mail his new girlfriend an ad for Viagra with a note that says, “Good Luck!”

5. Take his mom out to lunch. Tell her the new girlfriend is a real family gal. She just loves family popping by unexpectedly.

4. Remind Mom that her son still can’t do his own laundry. Poor thing! And the new girlfriend needs some pointers on how and when to do his laundry for him.

3. Tell Mom that you really like the new girlfriend and you want to be the bigger person. Tell her to let the new girlfriend know that she can “tag along” with us, the next time we have lunch. Just us three girls !

2. Make sure she asks her in front of your ex.

1. Helpful Hints for the New Girlfriend…Send the new girfriend a list of things that your ex will EXPECT her to do for him. Including…

  • pack his lunch
  • answer his text messages immediately
  • but wait patiently for 5 or 6 hours for any response from him
  • never ask why he did not respond to your text
  • accept the blame for every misunderstanding
  • apologize when you do not live up to his requirements
  • never ask him for an apology. He will say “I am always apologizing to you!”  (however you will never hear one apology EVER)
  • always apologize profusely for not answering his text or voicemail, fast enough
  • let him choose all of the restaurants
  • let him decide if, when and where you go out on a date
  • give him business advice
  • do his accounting 
  • wash his socks
  • be his morning, wake up service  (even if it means you have to wake up 3 hours early just to call him)
  • stay up until 3am, the night before the wake-up service (to do secretarial work for his business)
  • go on 5 hours a sleep a night, when he is in a crisis
  • neglect your own career and job, to help him with his
  • make his doctor appointments for him
  • make sure you have other plans for your birthday, because he will be working
  • call back and change the doctor appointments (when he schedules a business meeting for the same time he told you to schedule the appt for)
  • call back and change his dr. appt. back to the original time (when he changes his business meeting on a whim)
  •  be prepared to request off  from your job, for his birthday
  • always be respectful to him in public, but understand that he has to act the way he wants to, even if it embarrasses you
  • sit in the car crying, after an argument, while he goes into the diner to eat lunch

3 thoughts on “Fictitious Tales of the Passive Aggressive Ex Girlfriend…”

    1. I am glad this made you giggle. I am moving this post over to the Lovely Wounded lady Sight. I rethought the fact that my readers here may not appreciate it , in the same way as you and I do. After about 2 weeks, the anger starts to kick in, when you realize what they really did to you. I like to have passive aggressive fantasies, but I am always too nice to carry them out..

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    2. Actually I decided to rewrite the prologue…Take a look at the beginning of the post now. I was afraid people might it too seriously, and thought I had flipped that way I had it before. Either that or I am in a hypermanic state that is making feel paranoid about my better judgement…it happens sometimes…and it was late…

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