People with mental illness often have psychological damage from being subject to abuse during childhood.
Then very often they are retraumatized in adulthood by ending up being the victims of predators, There are narcissistic people that prey people who have C-PTSD from childhood abuse.
Some predators actually will evaluate you during conversations early in the relationship. They find out about your past and what the effects were.
Yes, when they were seeming to be so sweet and caring, they were pumping you for information, in order to asses how broken you were.
These predators know that broken people are easier to brainwash and drag into their world of control and manipulation. The relationships we have with people like this, retraumatize us and add to the C-PTSD we already had.
You have chosen to click on this post because the title of it struck a nerve with you. Most likely you have been abused in your lifetime. It may have been during your childhood and / or it may have been as an adult. Many people that were abused as children , end up in abusive relationships as adults.
The psychological damage from living in abuse is extensive and can cause depression, severe anxiety, OCD, PTSD, and other mental illnesses. It is also common that people with other mental disorders such as depersonalization disorder, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder , social anxiety and insomnia have experienced abuse during their lifetimes.
As people with mental illness, we sometimes make choices that are harmful to us that other people would not make.
We are so used to things being abnormal and painful that we tend to not notice the red flags of an abusive relationship until it is too late.
The mental illness causes us to end up in codependent , manipulative, abusive relationships. On the flip side, these relationships that cause severe psychological damage and we end up with mental illness that we may not have already had.
Which one comes first? The mental illness, the psychological damage, the abusive relationships? It is hard for us to tell. If you think back through your past , if you can remember, then you will most likely identify abuse against your mental health.
Situations of trauma cause PTSD. The people who tend to be the most affected are the ones who have had some kind of mental trauma in their past.
There are cases of severe trauma (like military horrors), that can cause PTSD , even of the person had a “normal” past. But a lot of the people who endure ptsd that never seems to go away, had some form of abuse prior to that trauma.
It is sometimes difficult to identify abuse from our past. For some people it is glaringly obvious and for others it has been blocked out by their own brain.
The brain wants to protect itself from further trauma and will black out memories and deny us access to them.
People with psychological damage often have more than one mental disorder. In addition you may carry with you a feeling that you are not good enough to have a healthy relationship.
If you are carrying C-PTSD be careful of predators that may end up retraumatizing you. You do not need to sustain more mental damage.
Do not automatically assume that if someone is asking about your past and being a good listener that they care about you.
There are red flags of abusers that you should be aware of. You can search the tag Red flags of abuse or narcissistic abuse.
Learn the patterns and behaviors of narcissists and other abusers. There are typical patterns and things to look for.
You will identify the red flags if you are aware of them. Things like “love bombing” and “devaluing” are terms you should search, if you are not aware of them.
There is a great youtube site called Self-care Haven. She has videos that you should watch if you do not know the tactics of narcissists and how they draw you in.