bipolar disorder, depression, life, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, suicidal thoughts, suicude

What if You Can’t “Just Get Over It” ? Depression, Trauma, PTSD, Death, Suicide,Mental Illness

Life is hard. It really can suck sometimes. Let’s be truthful about this.

People might be telling you to “suck it up” …  “move on”… “pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”  These people are not inside of your head.

You know this and you know that your inner world is different from theirs. Somewhere in your brain, is this voice saying “What is wrong with me? “

Pretending everything is okay with your mental state, is not easy and if it is continuous it will lead you to misery and a mental  breakdown.

No, everyone does not want to listen. No, everyone does not care.

Yes, there are people who are going to say to you “Haven’t you gotten over that yet?”  …and …”everyone has it hard, you have to get over it”

Well, fuck !  Sometimes things happen that you CANNOT just get over. They don’t magically go away. There seems to be no one to talk to.

Im lost too

It is like being in some nightmare land where you speak such a different language than anyone else that you are completely alone with your pain and your perception of life.

Your perception and faith in humanity can be damaged.

Certain things can damage our perception of humanity as a basically good and safe thing to be a part of.

Abuse and trauma rape the soul and the mind. If you have been through something that you cannot seem to heal from, then it probably raped your soul and infected your inner core of being.

It does not have to physical abuse that causes trauma to your inner core of being. Mental and emotional abuse can be severely damaging to your inner being.

If your reality has been messed with by someone who caused you to believe that the world is different than it is, then you are likely to have trouble recovering and “getting over it.”  Narcissistic abuse is one thing that can cause mental disfunction. 

The nature of reality itself can become in question. Your ability to trust people and to feel confident in your ability to know who is safe, can be deeply affected.

Other things can cause us to question our perception of reality. Witnessing things that are personally traumatizing to our psychological state and being in traumatic events, can cause our brains to become ill.

Certain events can cause us to question our purpose to be here. They can even lead to suicidal thoughts. If left without any validation of your real feelings, this state of mind is dangerous to you.

When a loved one dies or becomes terminally ill, your entire world is affected. Some people have different coping skill that other people.

You working with your own past and whatever you have been wired with, in order to evaluate cope. No one is just like you.

People may say  that you should be handling things better, but they are not inside of the entire mental and emotional  package that is in you.

If you are not okay, then you are NOT okay.

That is just  how it is for now. It does not help to shove your feelings down, just to make other people more comfortable. Yes, you have to keep things to yourself a lot of the time, but you cannot do it constantly and permanently.

When did it become such a taboo thing to not be okay?  Why should you be condemned for suffering?

All cultures are not like this. All traditions are not like this.

The world seems to be becoming more narcissistic, as far as what is acceptable for people to do and say. This ever growing acceptance for people to be less empathic and compassionate, is making the gap between people with mental illness and the “normals” greater and greater.

Mental illness encompasses a wide range of disorders and conditions. It can triggered by events and circumstances in your life. Traumatic events can cause PTSD. Deeply sad circumstances and losses can cause depression.

When does being depressed or having anxiety become a mental disorder?

You have a disorder when your life becomes disordered. It is difficult to do the regular things.

Your feelings about doing the things that you enjoy have changed. You do not want to or cannot just get through the day like you feel you should be able to.

When your work, your relationships. your daily functions become impaired, then your condition has turned into a disfunction.

What Matters?

Pain is pain. Mental suffering is mental suffering. You can’t always “just shake it off.”  You matter and your mental state matters.

It is easy to fall into feeling guilty, because people think you should  be fine and you are not. You are not a big baby and you are not inferior to these other people.

You might just be deeper and more sensitive than other people tend to be. There is a small percentage of humanity that is empathic and more sensitive that others. 

If this is you, then you are going to feel things more deeply and emotional events are going to affect you much differently than other people.

Add on top of it, a high intelligence and ability to be abstract and creative, and you have a high potential for developing a mental illness. 

Why? It is the way of things. You internalize things in a deep way and you ruminate over things more deeply and more obsessively than other people, who are more shallow than you are.

They can shake things off, at times, easier than you can. They tell you that you “should” be able to be like them, but are you like them?

If you have had any mental abuse in your past, then your brain is already wired differently from other people, and you are not going to perceive and respond to situations in the same way that others do.

Your personality may be a blessing and  curse. You have found yourself in circumstances that other people do not end up in. You process life events, betrayal, death, disloyalty , and lack of fairness in the world in your own  personal way.

Your mind is unique. For someone to understand why you cannot “just get over it” …or “Move on already”..they would have to enter the world of your mind, and your perception, in addition to understanding what has happened in your past and how it affects you.

You are alone in a way. On the other hand, you are not alone and do not have to be.

Keeping your feelings buried underground, will eat you alive. Finding someone to talk to can be difficult. Keep your mind open to talking to someone because they might turn up in the most unlikely of places.

Use your blog to communicate about your real feelings. You can set up a second blog, if your is not anonymous. If you use a separate email address then it will not link to your other blog.

Find ways to get your real thoughts and feelings out. Do not criticize yourself for being mentally or emotionally stuck in any situation. You are stuck because there are still things you need to work through.


Be Yourself,

Feel what you feel so you can get through it,

Annie ❤

15 thoughts on “What if You Can’t “Just Get Over It” ? Depression, Trauma, PTSD, Death, Suicide,Mental Illness”

    1. Thank you for saying that.
      I am glad the post was validating to you. I just wrote what I want to hear.
      Other than here, in the wordpress, mental disordered sub culture, I feel out of place and the opposite of validated.
      I imagine that other people feel that way too. That is why I wrote this post.
      Thank you for reading and taking the time to connect with me.
      In my room all alone, I feel a little less alone, when I get comments like this one.
      Much love,
      Annie ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Right now the voices are in my head. I am thinking of all the good things that are slowly coming together for me, but I’m depressed. My mood has been between and 1-3 for the last two weeks. I just don’t care about anything and there are signs that I’m deeper then I have been in a long time, and I’m not even suicidal. Just depressed. I feel like I should be happy about the things coming together, not depressed. People have told me enough, that I should have it together, that I believe it and then say it to myself.

    Thank you for this post, and reminding me that I’m not alone, in this mean, mean world.


    Liked by 2 people

    1. I hear you. Feel free to chat via email if you need someone to listen.
      I check it every couple of hours usually.

      It is hard to shake depression off. It is not always related to things seemingly going well.
      Sometimes deeper things are causing depression.

      The thoughts that I have in my head, when I feel depression pulling at me, are not usually things that most people would understand.

      It has to do with abstract ideas about the universe, reality, higher purpose, feeling stuck in the mondane, and then some more personal trauma.

      There are probably a whole variety of things that are deeply imbedded in you psychological make up, and intelligence that cause the depression.

      It is very complex with intelligent, abstract thinkers.
      That is why I do not think most therapists are helpful to us.

      A concrete minded therapist
      cannot understand an abstract minded patient. There are too many thoughts that the therapist would consider irrelevant and try to take the focus off of. But those are the key thoughts and problems that are linked to the depression.

      Those are just my opinions. I am not saying not to get therapy. But it is important to find a therapist that lets you say if something is an important thought or feeling to you.

      Much love,

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I just re-read your comment. It jumped out at me on the second reading what you wrote at the end. The world is being perceived by you as a mean mean world.

      This is a dark reality tunnel. I have been there before.
      It is usually caused by one or more specific traumatic incidents, involving trust and betrayal.

      It is a frightening place to be and very hard to get out of.
      As I said I have been in that dark reality before.

      There are a couple of ideas that might bring a little bit of hope..enough to get you off the floor..

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a beautiful post. I, too, am HSP (a 21st Century word). I like how you explained it is a combination of intelligence, sensitivity, creativity, and trauma that gets us stuck. So what if I am a little slow to recover? Who said society gets to decide the timeline or the deadline? It takes me what it takes me and I can’t change that.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s right. You are special just the way you are.
      Giving up who we are would mean giving up a lot of special parts of ourselves that are unusual and needed in the world.
      As the world becomes less compassionate, more sensitive caring people are needed.
      The very people that are telling you to be like them, would find you indispensable if they were in a different situation.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. You are welcome. I am thankful if it helped a little.
      I am sorry to hear that you are struggling.

      Your feelings about things do not have to match anyone’s expectations or requirements.

      Your feelings are valid. Your feelings about others not understanding your feelings are also valid.

      There are days when life and the people in it can feel too sharp and there is a feeling that life itself has betrayed us.

      Many things are beyond our ability to control or even influence them.

      The main thing that we can control is our perceptions of things, including our perception of our right to be here and our purpose in being here.

      When you feel like your purpose has been lost or is being trampled on, there are techniques to bring your hope back a little bit.

      Keep in mind, if people are countering and undermining you that they are doing it because they see something about you that is different.

      That different thing about you might be that you care about fairness, kindness and feelings and intelligent interactions. This is a threat to some people.

      The fact of it being a threat to them, means that there is something special and important about you. They want to lower you self esteem to reduce the power of compassion or the power of reason, that they see in you.

      Stay true to your beliefs. But you do not have to disclose your feelings or beliefs to undermining people.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Just to let you know, I am offering free coaching right now. I have one client and I have room for about 2 more this week. My goal is to use validation, connection and some techniques that I have learned and some of my own, which I am working on, to be able to get people who are struggling into a place of more empowerment.
      I will put a page on this site, which will be viewable in the links at the top. If you like, you can email me and i will connect with you that way.
      I may be able to help you to get yourself up a little bit.
      If you want to try then email me and we will connect back and forth there for a start. I will listen to you first and then create an individualized plan for us to work on together, to get your brain in a better place.
      I survived avery dark reality tunnel myself. It was very hard to get out of. I am not sure how bad your mind space feels at this time.
      Blessings to you for healing either way,
      ALways feel free to connect with me through the commnets on my posts,


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