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Quote a Day for Three Days Challenge. .my victims are……bum bum bum buuuuuuuummmmmmm

I often wake up in the morning feeling overwhelmed. The anxiety kicks in at the realization that I have a hundred things to do in order to survive and make sure my kids eat.

The overwhelming feeling of being alone to figure things out, cook, clean, wash, teach, guide, make enough money to keep a roof over their heads, drive them places ( Mom’s taxi service ), worry about their mental health, worry about their physical health, keep track of their emotional well being,…..on and on……

This is why there are supposed to be two people that work together as a team. Most people even have other relatives that help…mothers, grandmothers, sisters…

But I am alone, even though I live in a house with 12 other kind-of relatives.

Water water everywhere. ..and not a drop to drink.

Oh!!!!!! I just realized that this can count for the quote challenge I received a little while ago.

I was nominated by LuvBear

I had not intended to put that quote in this post when I started. It just came to my head because it was so obviously appropriate for what I was describing.

Ok…so Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink.

Lots of relatives, ex relatives etc. If they do help, which is rare, they have to do it in a way that undermines me.

I live with two narcissistic. …actually three..but he is not quite as bad… well…Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.

Yes, I do deny the extent of the reality sometimes. It is nicer to think that maybe they care and have not been intentionally undermining me all these years. But they have been and it is very sad.

Sometimes the Water water everywhere are the people. So many people around you but you still feel lonely, alone, isolated, undermined, cheated and lied to.

With a house full of people I still feel completely alone, except for my bunny, who I adore and my daughters sometimes. They are young and on their own paths. I do my best to guide them.

13 people living in my house….and I feel isolated, betrayed and mentally abused.

That is my post. I am supposed to nominate three people to do this challenge. Write a post about a favorite quote of your choosing.

One quote, one post a day for three days.

I nominate …
Blahpolar
Inner Dragon
ButchCountry67
Vanbytheriver

You can accept if you like.
Love and peacefulness,
Annie

8 thoughts on “Quote a Day for Three Days Challenge. .my victims are……bum bum bum buuuuuuuummmmmmm”

  1. I think I have just now realized that you are currently living in an abusive environment. I know you have probably covered this in your other posts, which I have yet to read, so I am not asking you to repeat yourself. I was just wondering if you have tried to get out of that environment (and maybe been thwarted in the attempt)? I am slowly catching up, reading a few posts at a time. 8*)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi. Thank you for asking. I do not think there are any posts that go into too many details about my living situation. Even though the blog is in a different name than my own name, it is always possible they could come across it.

      I live with my ex husband’s parents, the grandparents of my kids. It is a big house that different people have different areas of.

      My kids and I live in the top floor, kind of like an attic.

      I had to move back in here with them for a couple of reasons. It is somewhat complicated. I cannot afford to move right now and it is been hard to save any money because they are charging me enough rent to insure that I could not save anything to be able to move out.

      I am working on starting my own business. As long as I can keep whatever income I generate to myself, then I might have a fighting chance to move, once I can start making money.

      I lost my job a couple of months ago due to an error at the licensing dept and my CNA ( nursing assistant ) license became expired and cannot be easily renewed.

      I wanted to start my own business anyway. I will start with teaching guitar lessons and there are other skills I have also.

      As far as them trying to prevent me from leaving. As long as they feel like they want to have control over my daughters, yes they will likely undermine any attempts I make to become financially stable and independent.

      Once I start making money with my business, I will have to get a PO box and not have mail coming to the house.

      If my ex father in law finds out I am making any more money than I was at my last job, he will raise the rent by whatever the difference is, to keep me from saving anything.

      He “accidentally” reads my name to be his, and occasionally opens my bank statements or anything that looks like a check.

      I am doing the best I can. Sometimes I feel like I am walking up the down escalator.

      Thank you for asking about it. It gets very complex because their mental and financial abuse of me goes back 20 years.

      The last time they threw me out of this house was about 5 or 6 years ago. I tried to remain stable enough not to have to go back, but they did something that made my ex reduce the child support he was giving me …and that was after he had not been working for months and owed me back money. I had already had my car repossessed because I could not make the rent without the child support and the car payment.

      So they decided I was not suffering enough and interfered with my money from him. It has happened over and over and over again.

      I would love to move far away like Santa Cruz California. 🙂

      Blessings,
      Annie ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I feel bad that you are stuck in a toxic situation. FYI, I have an online bank account which does not send statements in the mail, everthing is done online. I suppose if you try to find new friends who could give you a place to stay for awhile, “they” would try to sabotage that relationship. I hope that you and your kids can find a way to get out of there and into a calm and supportive environment. I can somewhat imagine the stress it all creates for you. If you ever would like to chat or talk offline, I would be happy to do whatever I can to encourage you. My personal info is not hard to find from my Gravitar page and links I put on my blog. I have seen in numerous places where you tell others the importance of severing connections with narcissists in the process of healing, so I really hope you can find a way to get out of there soon. I will be thinking of you and you kids, sending lots of love and positive energy to you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Hang in there, even if it is only by your fingertips! If you have set your heart on making a different life for yourself, the Universe will respond to make it happen, with your continued effort, of course. Peace and Love to you and your family.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. I posted the page at the top of the blog for free coaching so that I can practical experience and see how different techniques work with different people. Also to get some referrals or testimonials. I have had a few responses and I am enjoying working with the people.

      I will open things up in maybe a week or two for one free coaching and then paid after the first one.
      For now I am still accepting people for the free coaching.

      I a working on flyers for guitar lessons. I will start putting those up this week.
      I used to make good money teaching guitar and piano lessons, when I did that.

      It is much better money than the job that I recently lost, as long as I can get enough students.
      Thank you asking 🙂
      Annie

      Liked by 1 person

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