gentle kindness life coach, gentle kindness life coaching, life, life coaching for people pleaser syndrome

What I have been Up to This Week – Web Designing my Life Coaching web site

I have been working on a new Life Coaching web site. It is still a work in progress. It is functional but I am still tweaking it.

Take a look and see what you think so far. You can see Gentle Kindness Coaching Blog Here.

I was able to get the web address of

This blog is at Weebly. So far I would recommend them. I am still learning some of the functions and other ins and out of how to create the blog and set the links within the blog etc. It is a lot to learn and I see why people pay to have a web design expert do this for them. I would if I could.

I will be offering specials for the month of September and I still need to add those to the web site. Additionally if you are a follower of this wordpress blog, I will offer you an additional discount.

I will update you when the blog is updated. Please drop by and visit. The store page is not finished but the other pages are functional.  If anything jumps out at you that could be better or different feel free to leave a constructive comment below. Thanks.

This has been very time consuming in addition to doing a few YouTube videos. My blogging should get back to normal once this web site is fully complete.

emotional abuse, mental abuse, narcissistic abuse, ptsd, PTSD and executive function problems

PTSD and Executive Function Problems from Trauma, Abuse and Depression – New Video

If you have PTSD from trauma or C-PTSD from on-going trauma you may be having problems organizing tasks and managing your timeExecutive function is a process that is controlled by the frontal lobe of the brain. PTSD can cause problems with this part of the brain.

Executive function is in charge of things that have to do managing your schedule and getting tasks done. Organizing tasks and knowing the steps to get them done is part of executive function. Other things that are controlled by this part of the brain include: self monitoring, focus, prioritizing tasks, and  dealing with resources and people. 

According to Web MD…

“Executive function is a set of mental skills that help you to get things done. These are controlled by an area of the brain called the frontal lobe. “

Executive function helps you:

  • Manage time

  • Pay attention

  • Switch focus

  • Plan and organize

  • Remember details

  • Do things based on your experience

If you find that you are feeling overwhelmed by tasks, easily stressed about getting things done, then you might have an executive function deficiency. If this has been caused by being in a long term abusive relationship, then it will hopefully get better with time. This is different for different people.

Web MD lists the things that can cause problems with executive function as follows:

  • ADHD
  • Depression
  • Learning Disabilities
  • Brain trauma
  • Alzheimer’s Disease

 I was a bit disappointed to find that Web MD did not have PTSD or domestic abuse on the list. There is research and evidence that PTSD causes executive function issues. 

This is not anything to feel ashamed of or guilty about. You do not have to feel less than other people because you are not good at organizing and managing your life and day to day tasks. This is something that you cannot help, but you can come up with techniques and strategies to make things easier for yourselves.

About the YouTube Video

In the video which I included with this post, I give some ideas for helping to deal with the anxiety and feelings of frustration over this. I also show some of the methods I use when I feel overwhelmed trying to get things done.

Strategies and Techniques

Writing lists can be very helpful and it can help you to prioritize things. You also need to create a logical order to do things in and identify which things are time sensitive such as a doctor appt. or important paperwork that needs to be mailed by a certain date.

Sometimes I will send myself emails with important info that I am afraid I will forget. All of my user names and passwords have been sent ” by me to me.” When I need to retrieve them I simply type in something like “Ebay password and user name” into the search emails box.

This way they are all stored safely and I can always access them. If you use this method make sure to send another email to yourself any time you reset password. I have made the mistake before of forgetting to do that and I ended up trying to use an older password. Then you have to reset all over again.

PTSD from on-going Abuse

Most importantly is to treat yourself with kindness. If you were in an abusive relationship then it is not surprising that there were organic changes that occurred in your brain that are causing things to not function properly. 

 Depression and Executive Function Problems

The same goes for mental illnesses like depression. When you have depression, many of the processes of the brain are slowed down or otherwise not working normally. Getting frustrated and beating yourself up over this will only make things worse.

PTSD from Combat or Military related Trauma

If you have PTSD from combat or military related mental trauma, then the same issues can arise with your executive function and your ability to deal with the daily things that need to be organized, scheduled and followed through on. It is not unusual to be easily distracted and to get off track. 

ADHD and Executive Function Deficiency

If you have ADHD then you are very familiar with having trouble with organizing and getting things done on  time. This may have been a frustration for years now. There is information you can search for on Google about ADHD and help with executive function.

I am not including all of this information here because it is a lot. I will write a post in the future dedicated to ADHD.

You can buy folders, notebooks and special clipboards that open into legal pads. You can use sticky notes and cell phone message pads. I have a special plastic folder for critical papers and smaller folders for current tasks.

If you can be honest with yourself about having a problem with your executive function then you can do better to help yourself with it.

 There is no reason to feel like you are less than other people because you do not do these kinds of things as well as they do. If someone has a broken leg then they don’t walk as well as other people, right? This is a physical problem in the brain. 

The brain can be rewired and function normally again for many people. Others may have to compensate for deficiency in their executive function for their entire lives. 

Write things down and help yourself as best as you can. Research executive function and learn more about it.

Mention symptoms to your therapist and your doctor. If you have family and friends that you think would understand then you can give them links to more information. The more support you have the better you will feel.

Wishing you peace of mind,

Annie ❤

anxiety, mental health, mental illness, ptsd

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Compromises Your Immune System

If you have PTSD ,  you might find that you are having physical reactions to the stress and you are sick more often.  PTSD can cause a variety of problems that come from  interference with the normal functioning of your immune system.

The DNA in the group with PTSD showed a significant increase of a gene that made them more vulnerable to multiple types of sicknesses. One particular gene, called the unmethylated gene, was more abundant in PTSD patients than in non-PTSD patients.

This increase proved to drastically impact a person’s life. Their immune systems ultimately were compromised. Rochelle Oliver –  Psych Central . Article called Traumatic Experienced Weaken Immune System Gene

If you noticed that you became sick more often after going though traumatic ongoing abuse then it was not all in your head. Your immune system was compromised by the PTSD. 

Personally I ended up in the hospital and / or the ER  repeatedly after my abusive relationship. Soon after the relationship ended,  within a couple of weeks, I got a severe intestinal infection and I was admitted to the hospital after spending 4 hours in the Emergency Room to stabilize my blood pressure, which had gone down to 69 over 42. 

After that hospital stay I was week for a while and then got back on my feet again.  In another few weeks I had a relapse of the intestinal infection which was treated with another round of Cipro antibiotics.

The a few weeks later I began to feel very ill. I was afraid the intestinal infection had come back. I was vomiting this time, which had not occurred before. I had a fever and sweating. I was very sick and by the time I dragged myself to the ER I could hardly walk. 

They gave me a CT scan on the hospital and they determined that it was not an intestinal infection this time, but a severe kidney infection. The kidneys were filled with bacterial infection and if I had not gotten myself to the ER I could have died. 

The doctors did not understand how someone my age could get two unrelated infections so close together. The infections were in different organs and both of them were severe and life threatening. 

I suspected that my immune system might be crashing but I did not think the doctors would believe that PTSD was causing this, so I did not bother to say anything.

I decided to research this after I became better from the illnesses. It was a slow and painful road to healing.

We know that people with PTSD have higher rates of cardiovascular disease and arthritis, which are diseases associated chronic inflammation.  Steve Tokar  Article called “Men’s and Women’s Immune Systems Respond Differently to PTSD.

Men who return from combat zones end up with PTSD and a variety of physical illnesses. Research has been done and is still being done about the reasons for immune system crashing after a person experiences trauma. 

“This is the first time that it’s been shown that men and women respond differently to PTSD on a very basic biological level.”   Lynn Pulliam, MS, PhD, chief of microbiology at SFVAMC and professor at UCSF.

People with PTSD are more likely to develop heart disease and other cardiovascular diseases. There is too much stress on the heart and on the entire biological state of the body.

“…research explains why people with PTSD have always been more susceptible to diabetes and cardiovascular disease, among many other disorders.”  Rochelle Oliver –  Psych Central

They also have an inflammatory response which causes an increased risk of early onset severe arthritis, which can eventually become debilitating. Arthritis is a painful condition which is caused by inflammation and eventual deterioration of the joints.

The brain of someone with PTSD has biological changes in the neural pathways and the way the  sympathetic nervous system handles stress.

The normal functioning of the system is damaged due to the “fight or flight mode” being activated for too long.  During a situation of threat and perceived danger, the sympathetic nervous system does its job to try to alert you. 

The amygdala is responsible for activating the alert system during a threatening situation. It is nor designed to be turned on for an extended period of time. 

“In individuals with PTSD, the HPA axis response is dysregulated. Individuals with PTSD have low circulating levels of cortisol.

In one study of motor vehicle accident victims, low cortisol levels immediately after the accident were associated with the development of PTSD and high cortisol levels were associated with the development of depression.”  Medscape article Gender Differences in PTSD

PTSD is a very real mental disorder and it can cause the sufferers to have a much lower quality of life.

It affects all aspects of a person’s life including social life, family life, work life and  romantic life. PTSD can interfere with a person’s ability to perform basic daily tasks and even to take care of their personal grooming and other needs. 

PTSD is painful and frightening. The memories of the event linger and victims often have vividflashbacks. Frightened and traumatized, they are almost always on edge and the slightest of cues sends them hurtling back inside their protective shells.

Usually victims try to avoid people, objects, and situations that remind them of their hurtful experiences; this behavior is debilitating and prevents them from living their lives meaningfully. by  – Brain

PTSD can greatly lower the quality of life that they person is able to have.

The reality that the immune system becomes compromised adds to the problems. The combination of mental illness and physical illnesses can cause the sufferer to lose all hope and feel that their life is worthless. 

More research is being done about PTSD, and hopefully there will be more information about this disorder. If you suffer from PTSD, know that you are not alone and there is hope.

The best thing is to find someone to talk to about your feelings, who has a frame of reference to understand what you are going through.

Since PTSD is invisible, it is often difficult for people who have not experienced any kind of mental illness, to understand it.

You are a valuable person who has been afflicted with this disorder.

It is not through any fault of your own. It is easy to lose hope and to feel like self isolating. Being alone all the time can cause more problems with loneliness and depression. 

If someone is triggering to your PTSD then try not to spend much time with them. In the mean time reach out and find a few people that you can talk to that validate your experiences and feelings. There is no reason to suffer alone. 

If you cannot find anyone to communicate with, there are many people in the blogging world and support groups on the internet where you can find some support and relief. 

Blessings for peace of mind.


blog awards, blogging

Sunshine Blogger Award

sunshine blog award

Thank you to Blahpolar Diaries for nominating me for this award.

The rules for the Sunshine Blogger Award are simple:
Thank the person who nominated you in a blog post
Answer the 11 questions set by the person who nominated you
Nominate 11 blogs to receive the award, and write them 11 new questions

Here are my nominees…


Bipolar for Life


Virgo Beauty’s Blog

Conversations with Self

The Daily Berb

I am not a Sick Boy

Jesus BPD  and Me

Warrior Wisdom and Wit

Paula Hopwood’s Blog

The Abuse Expose with Secret Angel


Emmagc75’s Blog

Here are My Answers to the Questions I was Given

My questions

1. Introvert or extrovert? Introvert but I can talk to strangers out at the store if I am in the mood.

2. Tea or coffee? Tea

3. Religious or secular? Spiritual

4. Unicorn or dragon?  Dragon

5. Grilled or fried?  Grilled except for fried chicken which I love

6. UK or USA English?  USA

7. Pirates or ninjas? Pirates

8. Chocolate or cigarette?  Electronic Cigarrette

9. Cupcake or muffin?  Muffin

10. Conservative or liberal?  Pass

11. Who are you?  I am Annie, Michele, Mishy, Mimi, Misha,  Aunt Mimi, Mama, Gentle Mental Annie and Gentle Kindness, You Tuber, Blogger, Mother, Guitarist, Poet, Writer, Singer, Rock and Roller, Manic, Depressed, Mental Case, Lover of Bunnies.

Questions for my Nominees …. feel free to write PASS on any you want to skip.

Have fun.


Thank you to Rob Goldstein for nominating me for the Blogger Recognition Award.


The rules:

  1. Select 15 other blogs you want to give the award to.
  2. You cannot nominate yourself or the person who has nominated you
  3. Write a post to show your award
  4. Give a brief story of how your blog started
  5. Give a piece of advice or two to new bloggers
  6. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog
  7. Attach the award to the post (right-click and save, then upload)
  8. Comment on each blog and let them know you have nominated them
  9. Provide a link to the award post you created

My Nominees

  1. Emmagc75’s Blog
  2. Jaqueline Cioffa
  3. Chyfrin
  4. Ramblings of the Claury
  5. Through the Tunnel42
  6. Chaos, Cats and Chronic Pain
  7. Chef Frankie’s Crazy Adventures
  8. Dougmb
  9. Army of Angels
  10. SarahsEDRecoveryBlog
  11. Between Sun and Shadow
  12. Kosmogonic
  13. Darcy Disconsolate
mental illness

Depression from Childhood Abuse and C-PTSD / What is Cognitive Dissonance ?


Depression is not a sign of  a lack of intelligence or a lack of willpower. People will criticize you and accuse you of those two things. 

Many people who suffer from depression are above average intelligence. It is sometimes the very intelligent and creative people than end up suffering from depression. You are able to see the world and think about the world in ways that other people cannot.

Many people who have depression were misunderstood, and mentally abused as children. You were very possibly the child in your family that noticed that things were not as they should be. Ot at least you felt in your heart that things were not right.

Other children in the family may have had no idea that anything was wrong or at least not in the same way that you did. They did not notice that other families functioned differently or think…

View original post 1,592 more words

blog awards, blogging, life, mental illness, mental illness blog

Encouraging Thunder Award and Blogger Recognition Award


Blogger Recognition Award

Thank you to Mairacharmed for this award. You can check out her blog HERE.


» Select 5 to 15 other blogs you want to give the award to. Do some digging if you must! Find those blogs.

» Write a post to show off your award!  Give a brief story of how your blog got started,  or give a piece or two of advice to new bloggers.

Thank whoever nominated you, and provide a link to their blog


Getting Real with PTSD

Pain and Triumph

Sensual Desires



Whispers on the Sigh  of Dreams

That’s so Shelly

Emotional Luggage

Elder Pipe

The Self Love Challenge


Randoms by a Random

My purpose of blogging is to connect with other people in a meaningful and inspiring way.
Advice to other bloggers –  Be Yourself and write freely.  



Thank you to Tessa for Nominating me for the Encouraging Thunder Award 🙂 You can see her lovely blog about mental illness awareness HERE.

My Nominees are…

Time no Matter

LittleBareFeet Blog

ThreeHands OneHeart

My Mind  My Canvas

The Sixpence at Her Feet

This Lupus Life



No Time but the Present


Some Bad Plankton

Lemony Matters

The Self Love Challenge


What you can do with   Encouraging Thunder award?

  • Post it on your blog or social media account
  • Grant others with the award

What you can’t do with Encouraging Thunder award?

  • Abuse or misuse the logo
  • Claim that it’s your own handmade logo

What you should do after receiving Encouraging Thunder award:

  • Enjoy the award
  • At least gives thanks via comments and likes and or mentioning the person who give the award.
  • Mention your purpose in blogging or joining the social media
My purpose of blogging is to connect with other people in a meaningful and inspiring way.
Advice to other bloggers –  Be Yourself and write freely.