Depression

depression hurts

9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Yayo
    Aug 11, 2015 @ 15:42:27

    How does one~with such short hands~extricate someone from the dark pit of depression? Let alone listen to the silent screams?

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    • gentlekindness
      Aug 12, 2015 @ 19:45:08

      Short hands ?
      I am not sure about that but I guess we cannot really extricate anyone. People have to be able to reach out for help themselves. Keeping the demons that torment you pushed down does not work. They always find their way to the surface sooner or later. They have to come to the forefront so someone can confront them and dispell them.
      It is sometimes hard to do alone.

      If someone can reach out they can hopefully find someone that can relate to what they are going through and at least validate them.
      Being validated and believed about the ;level of mental torment means something. It is better than suffering the demons alone. But you can never make someone do anything if they are not willing or ready.
      Annie

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      • Yayo
        Aug 13, 2015 @ 08:40:54

        It’s a tough plight to be in.

        By “short hands” i merely meant our seeming inability to fully be of help to those in such dire conditions.

        Perhaps someday we can learn to truly listen with love and compassion; enough to heal away the hurts.

        Thank you, Annie.

        Liked by 1 person

    • gentlekindness
      Aug 13, 2015 @ 09:33:14

      I like the ideal of healing others too. We can guide and comfort people along their path to self healing. It has to be their intention to heal though. If someone is open to hearing you and allowing you to be there for them, that is okay, as long as the process does not inhibit your own personal mental health. You always have to put your personal mental health first and not allow others to drag you down with them.

      Keep in mind that there are all kinds of people. Some people are familiar with their misery and have no intention of moving out of it. They might even gain something from feeling like a victim and enjoy others feelings sorry for them.

      Other people will exaggerate or lie about their mental state in order to manipulate you. You should not be pulled into feeling depressed or having extreme anxiety over trying to help someone else. It should not drain you…or make your mental state worse.

      As long as you are okay then it is okay to help. But do not be hard on yourself if you are trying your best and someone is not responding. You cannot force people to change. You cannot love someone into changing either. It would be nice ….but you cannot. Every adult is in charge of their own decisions about if and when they want to accept help or guidance from someone. It is never your fault.

      Stay well,
      Love,
      Annie

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      • Yayo
        Aug 13, 2015 @ 09:40:12

        Thank you, Annie.

        What you said is true~all of it. I’m learning to see it through that lens. The alternative is to succumb to despair and hopelessness. And what good is that?

        Blessings,

        Liked by 1 person

    • gentlekindness
      Aug 13, 2015 @ 09:49:02

      The worst your own mental health becomes the less good you are for other people. You are never helping someone by allowing your own mental health to go down. Your misery will not reduce theirs.
      Maybe there is another issue involved. If someone is trying to bring you down or seems to like you to be miserable with them then it could be red flag of an abusive personality.

      Also you might be trying to save someone because there is someone from your past that you feel like you let down and failed to save. Think about your past and any ways you feel you failed and that saving this person might be a way of redeeming yourself. I have done that and….it does not work. You have to confront the past demons directly. Dig them out and look at it rationally and realistically.

      If you were a child and it was an adult then you had no power over their mental health at all at in no way contributed to their mental issues, no matter what they told you.

      There are tapes of some sort playing in your head that are telling you that if you were a good person, you would be able to help people better. Take a look at where the taped originated from.

      Think about these things and feel free to chat again with me. I have been through all of this stuff before and it can be torturous. It can drag you down and sometimes after all that the person moves on and then tells you that someone else is doing a better job than you did. This is never true….they are just telling you that.

      But then you are left alone and your mental state is bad…..

      Talk to you soon 🙂
      Annie

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    • gentlekindness
      Aug 13, 2015 @ 10:02:50

      You are welcome. It helped because you were willing to receive help.
      We can pray for the person that they open their mind and their heart.
      Talk to you soon.
      😊

      Liked by 1 person

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