New Job New Schedule – Escape Planning

I am getting settled into this new schedule. I have now been at my new part time job for about 2 weeks.

I am working as a mother’s helper / tutor for 2 wonderful children ages 9 and 12. I arrive daily at the house on weekdays at 2:30. I try to be here before the 12 year old’s bus arrives so she will not arrive to an empty house.

Then we work on her homework until her brother arrives at 3 :45 ish.

There is love in this house because the mother is kind and she encourages her kids to be creative and to be kids.

It is a very different atmosphere than the “kids should be quiet and not bother the adults unless they are being useful” household that I struggle to breath in , where I live, every day.

The ex in-laws I live with ensure their ominous, all powerful presense in “their house” and make sure that there is no one other than them that is treated with respect.

As far as they are concerned there are no adults in the house other than the 2 of them. The 4 other adults in the house, including myself are treated as teenagers. The ominous cloud that permeates the house is fueled by implied threats, shaming and constant boundary violation.

It is hard to explain without giving examples but I will not do that now.

Being in this new environment for a few hours a day is good for me. Now I remember what it feels like to be treated as an equal by another adult ( the mother who I work for) rather than a tool or a pawn in someone’s game to meet their agenda, with no consideration of my having a right to my own dreams.

I believe this contrast is good for me to experience. After a while you forget what “normal” is. When you are living in a household that is like a mini cult with everyone fearing the retaliation of the leader, you become lost in a fog of the shared psychosis of the group.

I am always the one that is called ” the most difficult person in the house” Β but the reality is that they fear the fact that I can see through their brainwashing tactics now.

They are trying desperately to recondition me with rewards and punishments. But I have been doing extensive

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. threekidsandi
    Oct 22, 2015 @ 00:45:49

    I am very sorry for your living situation and happy that you have a new job in a good environment. I have that sort of house, where kids are kids. It makes life far more comfortable than ruling the roost, I can tell you.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. LifeInAshes
    Oct 22, 2015 @ 08:23:35

    Am glad that you get to experience the contrast of seeing a more emotionally warm environment. That can be a real eye opener sometimes! I hope you do find some other living arrangements, somewhere down the line. Hugs//LifeInAshes

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • gentlekindness
      Oct 22, 2015 @ 08:28:21

      Thank you. I do think it is helpful to me. I knew things were bad here but you get lost in the situation and almost forget there is a whole world out there where people do not tell you that you suck at everything all the time and intentionally manipulate you with fear tactics. ‘Thank you for taking the time to connect with me and send peaceful thoughts πŸ™‚
      Annie ❀

      Liked by 1 person

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