Depression – The Importance of Self care

Depression wears you down and drains your energy. The amount of energy required to get it together and take a shower is tremendous, nevermind doing anything with our hair and make-up. It feels like we have to literally drag ourselves around to do anything.

Making dinner is an effort so we often don’t eat or just open a can of something or other. We deprive ourselves of proper nutrition because it is too confusing to keep track of that when our own thoughts are consuming us.

Besides the lack of energy, we don’t really see the point in taking care of ourselves. We feel hopeless and worthless and it just seems like it is not worth the effort. It is not like we are trying to impress anyone. There does not seem to be any hope of anything improving in our lives.

We will neglect our personal hygiene like taking showers, brushing our teeth and brushing our hair. We do not feel up to going to the beauty parlor.

We may have some vague recollection of feeling attractive, but we do not feel that way anymore. It feels like we can barely get through the day, Our minds are occupied with running thoughts that are extremely painful to keep listening to over and over.

Time passes differently when we are in a state of depression.  We are not even aware what time of day it is or how much time has passed sometimes.

I have had times when I was depressed, when three hours had gone by and I thought it was a half an hour  at most.

This “time confusion” also makes it hard to figure out what to do and when to take care of our basic needs.

When we are in a state of severe mental torment, caring for ourselves just seems like a waste of energy. There is confusion in our minds and we have problems remembering things. A simple thing like organizing our day or making ourselves lunch, feels like a difficult task.

Our appetites are low and we do not feel like eating. or we overeat to make up for feelings of emptiness inside. Either way, our diets become unbalanced. We starve ourselves of proper nutrition and also exercise.

We do not feel good about how we look in the mirror.   The mirror tells us we are neglecting our personal care and basic needs. The mirror tells us, but we do not know what to do about it.

The problem is that when we neglect our personal care and our diet, it makes the depression worse. Our self esteem about how we look goes down. Our self esteem goes down regarding our ability to function normally like others do.

Bad nutrition will make our bodies and brains weak and less effective. Our thought processes will be slowed. Our ability to fight off infection is lower. All of these things will increase depression.

The chemicals in the brain are affected by the intake of nutrients from food.  When we do not eat properly,  our brains become more chemically off balance, as we continue to neglect eating proper meals.  It is a spiraling cycle into deeper depression.

It is very difficult to begin taking care of ourselves if we have been out of the habit for a long time. It requires “baby steps” to get back on the right track. We have take small steps to take care of ourselves and nurse ourselves back to health.

Think of yourself as a patient in the hospital. Your bed is a hospital bed. You also have to play the role of the nurse.

The nurse will encourage the patient to take a shower because you will feel better if you do. The nurse will bring food to the patient at regular times and encourage them to eat because the body needs to be strengthened.

Be imaginative like when you were a child. Pretend you are a nurse taking care of a favorite patient. 

Play the hospital game and pretend you are a wonderful nurse, taking care of a favorite patient. Encourage yourself to eat a few bites of healthy food. Have some nice soup  hot chocolate.

Think of what you would order , if you were in the hospital.  Encourage and be kind to yourself about personal care. Get out of bed for fifteen minutes an walk around the “hospital” a little bit.

Be your own  nurse and see how it helps. 🙂

Blessings,

Annie

Quote

Silver Girl

‘Trust yourself before you can trust others’

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Afraid

C.S.A.Anum

“It is the small things,

Everyday deeds of ordinary folk,

That keeps the darkness at bay,

Simple acts of kindness, and love.”

-Gandalf

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Healing Poem

Healing requires feeling

It is nature’s only  way

Of disinfecting

the mental wounds

And closing them to stay

It seems too much to bear at first

Sometimes we want to quit

We regress to places past

And fear the future trauma

But healing always means feeling

There is no other path

That leads to  growth of hearts

And makes us strong at last

YouTube Channel

Visit my YouTube Channel for videos about healing from narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, narcissism, and psychological abuse and overcoming abuse.

You are not alone. Living with a narcissist can make you feel like you are crazy. Mental abuse can cause psychological, emotional, cognitive, functional, and physical symptoms. 

The mind and the body are connected.

Abuse is all encompassing.

It takes time to heal and people that have not lived thought this kind of abuse will have trouble understanding. They will not understand why it is taking you so long to just get over it.

Connect with other people who have been through this. Validation is key to  healing from abuse. Mental abuse can have effects that are just as devastating as physical abuse. 

Living in an abusive relationships can lead to depression, anxiety disorders, PTSD , avoidant personality, derealization disorder, and in some cases suicidal thoughts. 

Learn how to identify abusive personalities and avoid abuse in the future.

Discover techniques for resisting attempts to emotionally manipulate you. 

For a one-on-one coaching visit  gentlekindnesscoaching.com

Fight or Flight – Narcissistic Abuse / Domestic Abuse

My Thoughts om Revenge on a Narcissist

Follow Your Meaningful Path

visions meme

Your life  direction is inside of you. Don’t let other people talk you into following the wrong path. 

If something does not feel right to you, then it isn’t right for you. Listen to your own feelings and the sensations on your body.

Your inner voice will direct you to follow your purpose. 

You need to differentiate between your true voice and the inner tapes that were put into your brain by other people.

Negative thoughts about yourself are bad programming,  usually installed during childhood and reinforced by abuse during adulthood. 

Your dreams are important.

Your special talents are needed by people in the world. If you feel inspired to follow a certain path, don’t let people tell you that you cannot or should not do it. 

Look into your own mind and soul for your purpose and for what really would make you happy. 

Anxiety and depression are ways your true self has of letting you know that changes need to be made in your life.

Past trauma needs to be healed and memories need to be integrated.  It is important that the inner tapes …that tell you that you are unworthy… do not hold you back. 

Find your path. It is never too late.

this moment

Toxic People Spew Poison

People that care about you…and care about others in general, do not use bullying tactics to get their agenda met. They do not intentionally overblow, contort, and reframe events.

Caring people do not have a ridiculously overblown reaction to a little thing that you did “wrong” ( against their personal rules) and then tell all of your friends, family or co-workers that you victimized them.

Someone who wants to be your friend does not refuse to hear your side of a disagreement, shift blame for their over reaction onto you and then put malicious words in your mouth that you never said.

Toxic people pretend to be your friend until they feel threatened by you, have no more use for you, or you refuse to agree with everything they say…and do everything they want.

Narcissists see themselves as more entitled than you to everything , whether you deserve it more or not.

Narcissists want you to admire their greatness and submit to being their minion.

If you stop catering to their ever-changing whims, they will gather their other minions to turn against you….and destroy things you care about…..friendships, your reputation, your job, your marriage, your business, your self esteem, or your ability to move forward with your life.

They won’t change, even if they tell you they will. If they turned against you or discarded you once …they will do it again…and harder.

Once you begin to feel your self esteem go down every time you talk with someone, it is time to back away.

Once you begin to notice that every time you have a conversation with them you have to go back over the entire thing in your head to figure out what the hell just happened….it is time to back away….or run if you can..

Relationships should involve two people…..

Two different sets of opinions that are respected

Two different sets of personal boundaries that are respected

Two sets of ideals and thoughts that are respected

Two different schedules that are respected

Two different ways of feeling about situations that are respected

Two different sets of dreams , skills, talents and aspirations that are supported and respected

Two different individual people that are respected

Get the idea?

Narcissists are poisonous.

Run.

 

 

 

 

 

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