Accepting Emotions and Healing Old Wounds – Emotophobia

Instead of trying to stop feeling the emotions that you feel, when you see them as negative emotions, show yourself love. Accept the emotions you are feeling.

Investigate within yourself and find out why you are really feeling this emotion. Show compassion and empathy to yourself and allow yourself to have feelings without judging yourself for them.

Emotophobia is the fear of negative emotions. Many people that grew up with chaos, trauma or abuse, have a form of emotophobia. You may have been taught that feeling certain emotions was wrong or bad.

Many of us were taught that feeling certain emotions was selfish, weak and that you were to be judged for it. You should not have to judge yourself for feeling things.

Repressing emotions does not make them go away. It does not deal with the problem that is underneath of the emotions that are coming up.

Being judged for your emotions as a child was emotional abuse. Being told to change, hide and feel shame for feeling “negative” emotions was also emotional and mental abuse. It made you feel that you were bad because of ways that you felt about things.

Being taught you are bad for feeling things and expressing your feelings, teaches you that you are either good or bad based on how you feel about things. This is wrong. Emotions are simply our subconscious brain trying to tell us something,

Emotions are generated by the subconscious brain and we cannot control the emotions that initially come up about things. Denying emotions is denying ourselves. Then our inner child can feel abandoned and devalued.

perception

Devaluing yourself based on the way you feel, is a way of abandoning parts of yourself. All the parts of you are an important part of your entire being, You cannot deny and abandon part of yourself without abandoning yourself as a person that has a right to be who you are.

This abandonment of yourself is taught to children from abusive back grounds. You are taught that your needs do not matter in the grand scheme of things, Your needs are less important that theirs are and than the rest of the family.

You either matter or you do not matter. I can tell you that you do matter. Once you begin to accept the emotions that come up and understand that your subconscious brain only brings u emotions with good reasons to signal them to you, then you can look at why you are feeling the ways you do.

Healing can begin once you accept yourself and your emotions without judgement. Let go of learned thought patterns that were forced onto you during childhood.

you matter

You matter as much as anyone else does. Why do someone else’s feelings matter more than your own? Why do you feel bad to have emotions that might contradict someone else’s reality?

Your reality matters and your brain knows why it sends certain feelings to the body. Investigate within yourself and let your inner child know that it has not been abandoned.

Many feelings that are “negative ” feelings are to protect you or they are wounds that are being re-opened from childhood. They may be wounds that are being triggered from adult trauma.

Even some adult trauma was more traumatic because whatever happened was re-opening childhood wounds. Your pain is trying to show you something that needs to be known.

The first step to healing old wounds is to accept that they are there. Understand that you have been wounded and that feelings do not just come out of nowhere, even when they seem to.

Blessings.

8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. GettingrealwithPTSD
    Nov 04, 2015 @ 13:12:23

    A good message that I can’t hear often enough.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. Trackback: Accepting Emotions and Healing Old Wounds – Emotophobia | GettingrealwithPTSD
  3. christinadrh
    Nov 04, 2015 @ 14:44:26

    I needed to read this today! Even though we are aware of this, when the pesky emotions pop up it is still hard to deal with them objectively as they seem all consuming, even though we rationally know they are just thoughts. We do beat ourselves up over them, feel selfish and undeserving of even feeling bad.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. Ask and I might tell you!
    Nov 04, 2015 @ 17:17:33

    Thank you. I needed this today as well.

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  5. Lacey
    Nov 24, 2015 @ 20:17:19

    Wow this makes so much sense to me. I often feel guilty for being upset, particularly sadness and anger. I have a voice in my head that is constantly played back to me of my father yelling at me “stop crying you big baby”. The anxiety then only makes me cry more and feel more guilt and shame. At 35 I still don’t know how to “properly” express what I’m feeling. It seems to come out in a ball of everything all at once.

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    • gentlekindness
      Nov 24, 2015 @ 21:23:43

      Thank you for sharing. People who grew up with narcissistic parents or parents that did not know how to help you express your feelings, have trouble as adults to express sadness and anger. Your head will still have those voices (inner tapes that play) that tell you to stop being a baby or to stop being selfish.
      We can learn to re-wire the old programming. It was instilled into us like a bad virus that needs to be deleted.

      Often NLP hypnosis can help and also compassionate conversation about the validity of what the voices are saying to us.
      Annie – gentlekindnesscoaching.com – coaching and NLP Hypnosis for adult children of emotional abuse
      Check out the gentle kindness coaching web site for information and to sign up for newsletter 🙂

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  6. gentlekindness
    Sep 27, 2016 @ 03:24:24

    Reblogged this on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

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  7. Lynz Real Cooking
    Oct 21, 2016 @ 10:15:57

    Very affirming

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