When we are born into this world we have no lack of self esteem. We do not doubt whether or not we deserve to be cared for. The thoughts that we have as adults of low self esteem, lack of self confidence. unworthiness, doubting ourselves, and even doubting the safety of our environment are all things that are programmed into us by other people.
We can end up with depression and anxiety disorder due to the wiring in our brains that other people put there.
Our thoughts are not who we are. It is easy to think of ourselves as our feelings and our thoughts, but the truth is that feelings and thoughts can be altered and changed. Other people can cause us pain and they can feed thoughts to our brains.
You are who you are inside. You are the same person that you were born as. There is an inner part of you that is not tangible. It is the real self that does not change. It is the self that has value and worth. no matter what else happens or what thoughts you notice you are having.
You do not have to attach to all of your thoughts. Realize that many of them were forced upon you when you were a child and others of them were conditioned into you over time. Any thoughts you have that are negative about yourself, or doubting yourself. are bad programming.
Try to notice your thoughts and observe them in an objective way sometimes. If you can observe them as something separate from your true self, then you can ask questions about them. Take one particular thought and see if it is true. Did you decide that it was true ir did someone else tell you it was true?
You can decide that certain thoughts and thought patterns no longer serve you. Something like “I am not good enough for my family” is not serving you. You can write down the negative thoughts on a piece of paper and then look at them from an outside perspective. Bring them outside of your head and onto paper.
Then see what no longer serves you. Some thought patterns were designed by your brain to protect you as a child or in some on-going situation where your brain felt you were threatened. See what purpose the thought serves and if it is really true.
You can be in charge of your own brain. There are ways to alter memories and perspectives about things. You can learn how to do this or get someone to help you. NLP hypnosis is one way that can help with this. Other times compassionate conversation about the negative thoughts and feelings can help.
Seeing your thoughts as something that is a separate entity from your original and true self can help you to evaluate them. There is no reason that someone else should feel that they have value and purpose in the world but you do not. You have just as much worth as anyone else does.
We are programmed with thoughts and our feelings are manipulated by certain people who want to maintain their own agenda which is about them and not us. Some people have wanted to alter your behavior and the most effective way was to alter how you saw yourself in relation to them and to the world.
You do not have to keep any programming that was put into you that no longer serves you, or that never served you in a healthy way.