Good morning…well it is 12 noon here but this is morning for me. The good news is that my younger daughter that I was most concerned about for today, seems to be in good spirits.
She has been having anxiety problems for the past year and has been getting help for that. This particular holiday, Thanksgiving was her most dreaded one due to the fact that FOOD is the focus of the holiday.
I don’t know why food is the focus of the day. I never thought of it that way but I grew up in a different household than she did and also I did not have any anxiety about food in relation to my relatives,
But somehow in this house she feels that people make her feel bad about her weight and say embarrassing things to her. I have heard a few things but she was anticipating being embarrassed or shamed more than I thought she would be.
Then I found out that there were guests coming to the house that were people that my daughter knew better than I do. So then I realized it had something to do with interactions between her and a particular woman that she knows.
These people will be at dinner and I had not been aware of that. Sp it is a combination of anxiety at being with her grandparents at all and also this other family, and particularly one woman.
So there has been a lot of talk in therapy about this upcoming day. My daughter’s last therapy session was focused just on getting through Thanksgiving. I was worried that she was going to wake up with anxiety but she seems good.
She came in a few times to try to wake me up this morning but not because she was upset. I can hear her singing in the other room and making other happy sounds, as she is getting ready for the day.
I am glad it is starting good. We will see what happens. I am still trying to wake up my brain and get going. I am going to get up now and take a shower. I will check on my daughter first.
Just because she is singing now does not mean it will stay that way when we get with the family. My ex in laws, who are the grandparents of my daughter, are very stressful to interact with and some days are worse than others.
The holidays are very regimented with them and have to go a specific way with them. Kids are not the focus of things and are better “seen and not heard” yet they will put the kids on the spot (as well as me sometimes) by asking questions or saying things that make you uncomfortable in front of other people.
It is a lack of boundaries that is a big problem. And they want you to adapt to their ways, but they do not respect your wishes, your needs for certain boundaries or differences in the needs of people.
This post probably sounds sleepy and maybe a bit confusing. I do not wake up fast. I am trying to get my brain together.
Please check in and let me know how you are doing. I am going to go take a shower and then see what my daughter needs from me in order to be able to deal with the day.
Talk to you soon