Narcissistic Domestic Abuse – Surviving the Holidays

Narcissists hate holidays and love to ruin them for everyone else. If you are living in an abusive situation then it is likely that the abuser makes your holidays miserable. 

Holidays remind them that other people have the ability to emotionally connect with each other. They may also be reminded of abuse from their childhood and this may make them want to take out their anger on you.

There is no way you can  make them feel better by loving them more or being nicer to them. They do not love you , nor do they want your  emotional intimacy.

My sympathy is with you. I know what this is like. Arguments during dinner or driving to where you are going. Questioning and criticizing everything you say and do. No matter how hard you try, you cannot please them. 

If you are living in an abusive relationship your self esteem is being crushed down in order for them to control you better. The holidays are the perfect time for them to trigger emotional flashbacks in you. 

Narcissists make a point of knowing your weaknesses and what buttons to push that will get en emotional reaction from you. 

The best way to deal with this is to act disinterested. Be as neutral as possible and do nothing to recognize their efforts to upset you. Do not show them that they are getting to you. 

Be as polite as possible and do not do anything to make them angry at you.

You do not want them to become violent with you. Even if they have never been physically violent with you before does not mean that alcohol and the holidays will not escalate their verbal violence to physical violence.

Be emotionally detached from them as best as possible and act neutral when they do try to provoke you. Try to limit the alcohol in the house as much as you can without making them angry. 

Keep yourself from being under the influence of alcohol or anything else because this will weaken your cognitive abilities and your ability to think on your feet. 

Safety is always first and then you have to protect your psychological health. Abusers can do great damage to your mental health including causing depression, anxiety and PTSD. If you feel like you are deteriorating in this way, then it is the intention of your abuser. 

Keep yourself safe on the holidays and try to find ways to build your self esteem Escaping from an abuser is difficult and requires self love and self confidence, which is one of the reasons that your abuser attacks these very things about you. 

For more support and help visit my domestic abuse blog HERE

Also you can watch m videos on YouTube about narcissists, narcissistic abuse and domestic abuse...HERE

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rhoda
    Nov 27, 2015 @ 19:45:38

    Thanks for your help. I have an abuser in my home in HK and I will visit HK during Christmas. I start to feel a bit anxious again. I will try out your tips, though difficult.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. Aimee Follette
    Jan 04, 2016 @ 03:11:33

    Thank you for sharing. Every holiday spent with my narcissist ex was painful. Fortunately, I finally got out of this relationship on November 5, 2015. And I have been thankful every day since. I was with this man for a year and half and only learned he was a narcissist after our breakup when I sought professional help. I recently published my most vulnerable piece of writing in hopes to help turn on the light for others who might be experiencing similar emotional abuse. Please feel free to share with anyone you think it might help. Much love to everyone who comes across this space. Aimee

    https://lovetrustfaithblog.wordpress.com/2015/12/29/blindsided-heartbreak-what-a-relationship-with-a-narcissist-looks-like/

    Like

    Reply

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