mental illness

Darkness Creeps In

This is a great read and a reminder of using common sense about how much information you post publicly.

Jody's World

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The Creep sits alone in his dark apartment. The windows are shut and the shades drawn closed. The stifling heat is thick with the smell of cigarettes and perspiration. Darkness surrounds him, conceals him – just the way he likes it. The only light in the room comes from his smartphone and the tip of one of his endless cigarettes. Rage permeates the air. He clicks on his “Find Women Nearby” app and no less than 20, model beautiful, selfie obsessed, fools pop up on Google Maps. Their ignorance infuriates him. Every photo you take, every status you post, every single place you ‘Check-In’ alerts EVERYONE of your location – your exact location. GPS and vanity. It’s all so easy now. Hunting from the convenience of your own home.

The Creep locks in on one woman in particular on the map. She has short, blond, spiky hair. Tan skin and…

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mental illness

The Loudness in Silence

Dolly Mahtani

The Loudness in Silence

I’ll be the first to admit that a long time ago I was afraid of being alone. It was a scary place to be. My mind was a constant moving train that would take me to endless places. If my emotions and my thoughts weren’t understood or controlled, I was taken on a surprise ride. I didn’t know when or where I’d end up. And most of the time it took me to dark places. It showed me things I wasn’t ready to face. I hated being alone but at the same time I hated being surrounded by people. I liked to be around people but at the same time be invisible. My environment would become a distraction to get out of my head for a minute. Then I had a mind-shift a few years back when I read and understood more about the power of my thoughts and emotions…

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mental illness

Depression As A ‘STOP’ Sign

Silver Girl

This is a brilliant post by Elizabeth Gilbert. For those who suffer from chronic depression it’s a must read..

Love & baby steps

SG x

Google Image Result for http://blog.ivman.com/wp-content/StopInTheNameOfLove.jpg

Dear Ones –

I wonder if any of you have heard of the work of Karla McLaren? She’s the author of many wonderful books on emotional health and wellbeing, including THE ART OF EMPATHY.

I was recently listening to an interview with her, in which she spoke about depression in a way that felt so fresh and compelling to me. She spoke of the “gift of sadness”, explaining that Situational Depression can be a wonderful tool of expression in our lives — a way that our psyche alerts us to the fact that something in our life is not working, and must be stopped.

Situational Depression (which is different from the ongoing mental illness of chronic depression, hormonal depression, or bipolarity — all of which…

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#domestic abuse, #narcissism, #narcissistic personality disorder, abusive relationships, emotional abuse, mental illness, narcissistic mothers, narcissistic parents, Narcissistic psychpath, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, narcissists and holidays, PTSD from domestic abuse, PTSD from narcissistic abuse, red flags of abuse

Narcissistic Domestic Abuse – Surviving the Holidays

Narcissists hate holidays and love to ruin them for everyone else. If you are living in an abusive situation then it is likely that the abuser makes your holidays miserable. 

Holidays remind them that other people have the ability to emotionally connect with each other. They may also be reminded of abuse from their childhood and this may make them want to take out their anger on you.

There is no way you can  make them feel better by loving them more or being nicer to them. They do not love you , nor do they want your  emotional intimacy.

My sympathy is with you. I know what this is like. Arguments during dinner or driving to where you are going. Questioning and criticizing everything you say and do. No matter how hard you try, you cannot please them. 

If you are living in an abusive relationship your self esteem is being crushed down in order for them to control you better. The holidays are the perfect time for them to trigger emotional flashbacks in you. 

Narcissists make a point of knowing your weaknesses and what buttons to push that will get en emotional reaction from you. 

The best way to deal with this is to act disinterested. Be as neutral as possible and do nothing to recognize their efforts to upset you. Do not show them that they are getting to you. 

Be as polite as possible and do not do anything to make them angry at you.

You do not want them to become violent with you. Even if they have never been physically violent with you before does not mean that alcohol and the holidays will not escalate their verbal violence to physical violence.

Be emotionally detached from them as best as possible and act neutral when they do try to provoke you. Try to limit the alcohol in the house as much as you can without making them angry. 

Keep yourself from being under the influence of alcohol or anything else because this will weaken your cognitive abilities and your ability to think on your feet. 

Safety is always first and then you have to protect your psychological health. Abusers can do great damage to your mental health including causing depression, anxiety and PTSD. If you feel like you are deteriorating in this way, then it is the intention of your abuser. 

Keep yourself safe on the holidays and try to find ways to build your self esteem Escaping from an abuser is difficult and requires self love and self confidence, which is one of the reasons that your abuser attacks these very things about you. 

For more support and help visit my domestic abuse blog HERE

Also you can watch m videos on YouTube about narcissists, narcissistic abuse and domestic abuse...HERE

anorexia, depression, depression blog, eating disorder, mental illness

Eating Disorders and the Holidays

If you have an eating disorder I know the holidays can be a very difficult time for you. People do not always understand, and there is so much pressure about eating and food.

You need to prioritize your own mental health and well being. An eating disorder has deep psychological roots and it also has an important health element. It is important to take care of your mental wellness or you could end up becoming physical unwell too.

You have the right to set boundaries about going to holiday events. Some things might be better not to attend, and others you can go to but there need to be certain ground rules for you and others.

If people are not willing to be understanding about your disorder then you have a right not to comply with those people. You have the right to prioritize your mental health and your physical health.

Take care of yourself and do internal checks in your mind to make sure how you are feeling. There is no need for extra suffering for you. You do not have to let people emotionally manipulate you about anything. ‘

Remember that other adults are responsible for their feelings and reactions. People should accept “no” for an answer when you feel like it is in your best interest to say “no.”

Blessings for a happy and peaceful holiday season. You  have a right to be happy 🙂

anxiety, anxiety attack, anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, holiday anxiety, Holiday depression, mental illness

Mental Illness and Dealing with Holiday Pressure

Depression and anxiety disorders can become worse during the holidays.  If you suffer from depression the pressure of the holidays can make you feel overwhelmed and inadequate. It is hard to keep up with what seems to be expected. 

Keep in mind that you can rethink “expectation” and be flexible about how you do things. There are a few places where expectation is coming from and it can help to differentiate where you are feeling the pressure from. 

There are pressures that are created by the companies and perpetuated by the news and the other media. You do not have to live up to these expectations because it is just about the stores making money. 

Families force their own brand of expectation onto you. This has likely been being programmed into you for years. Use questions to see what is reasonable and what is not. Question the expectation that are in your mind. 

You do not have to adapt the expectations of others as expectations that you  have for yourself. Do what feels right to you. 

If you are feeling anxiety about having to do something then it is not something that supports your well being. See if there is another option. Different families have different expectations of their family members during the holidays and in general. 

If you have a history of depressive disorder then you need to make modifications to these “expectations.”  Just because you cannot (or do not want to) live up to the expectations of your family, does not mean that you are a bad …sister…daughter…brother…daughter in law,,,etc. 

Pressure from family can be draining and can lead to becoming more depressed. You have to take care of yourself. Your mental health matters. 

Try to remember that just because someone may tell you they are disappointed in you does not mean that you did anything wrong. People are usually upset because their own agenda has not been met. 

Do not lose yourself in other people’s perspective. You have the right to have your own perspective about yourself and about the expectations on you. Taking care of yourself is important, including being able to decide how you see yourself. 

If you struggle with mental illness then you have obstacles that other people in your family may not understand. If you need to do things (or not do things) in order to keep yourself okay then you have the right to do so.