This is my late night rambling. Any typos will be fixed tomorrow. This is a stream of consciousness writing. ….
Sometimes we grieve for a thing we missed out on. This might be a person we thought we were meant to be with. Or it might be a situation like a job or a certain path we imagined was right for us.
But we really do not know what would have awaited us, had we ended up with that thing we were sure we wanted.
Think of a person that you ended up wishing you had never wanted to be in a relationship with. You were sure it was what you wanted at the time, but as time passed it was not what you pictured the relationship to be.
There is also some situation that you were sure you wanted that eventually turned out to be a devastating disappointment. What if you had never gotten it?
You might still be grieving the loss of what you imagined the outcome to be.
There is no way to know if you really missed out on a “dream job” because what you imagined it would be like is probably not how you would have felt once you were in it.
And that person you thought would have been the perfect partner…so much so that you compare your other relationships to that one perfect relationship that you imagine you missed by a hair….
Maybe you did something that you consider a mistake and it kept you from following along that particular path you thought was the “right” one.
While you spend your energy lamenting these imagined scenarios and how well they would have gone, you may be missing the inner voice that is calling toward something much better.
Rather than a loss of great magnitude, some of these things you missed out on may have ended up being the very things that would have kept you from the wonderful things you have yet to experience.
We sometimes feel that we are at a “fork in the road” and that if we choose the wrong path it will completely change our lives. But you are still you even after a seemingly dramatic choice.
You never know where any path will lead or many more moments of truth will seem to present themselves. It could be that you would wind down one path, only to find it ended up joining with the second one anyway, further down the road.
It is important that you know your values and what you believe in. It is also important that you are open to seeing things in a new light, if the facts you come across show you a new way of looking at things.
There are very few, if any, paths that have a certain right or wrong way…at least not one you cannot correct , change or adapt to.
It is when you go against your inner voice and reject yourself that you get into trouble. You must honor your inner voice and allow it to guide you.
Do not reject yourself for the sake of pleasing someone else.
The sooner you learn to respect yourself and your resiliency, the sooner you can begin to have confidence that whatever direction you walk, that feels right, will eventually lead you someplace where you will be okay.