Mask

I get you now !
You have no real smile
 
Just hundreds of variations
of…
 facial expressions
tones of voice
hand gestures
and right things to say
 
Stories to impress men
Words to captivate women
Threats to coerce employees
Lies to deceive everyone
 
Various identities 
to keep your life in boxes
So your lies won’t overlap
 
Six cell phones with different numbers
Seven email addresses 
At least four different companies 
 
That’s as far as I know
Maybe there are more…
 
Various online dating profiles 
A computer program to scan for prey…
 
Empaths
Codependents
HIghly Sensitives
Romantics
 
The innocent
The abused
The naive
And the lonely
 
The young ones
The old ones
And anyone in between
The poets 
The artists
And the ones who want to save you
 
You show a vulnerable side
That is nothing but an act
You make them feel your pain
But you are mirroring theirs back
 
You show them some compassion
From scripts inside your head
 
You repeat their own words back
That they forgot that they had said
 
They think you’re for real
A man that they could care for
Someone who needs their attention
And maybe mothering too
 
They know if they invest their time
Your love for them will be true
 
You train them all so well
To jump when you ring the bell…
Like Pavlov and his dog
Waiting for the food
You create a real addiction
Then make them beg for more
 
You let them paint the illusion
A dream from inside their mind
Exactly the way they picture it
A different mask for every crime
 
You become their favorite fantasy
Be anyone they want you to be
 
You lift them as high as you can
Upon your pedestal of gold
 
The higher you can lift them up
The farther they have to fall
 
And fall they will …
Make no mistake
 They won’t see it coming
Your skill has such grace…
 
You’ll come up behind them
Contempt on your face
 
You’ll yank out that stool
And cover all traces
That you ever planned it 
Or could hardly stand it
 
To play the role of vulnerable and weak
 
Now you are TOWERING 
Over your catch
 
Pour on the gasoline
And light up your match
 
Burning their hopefulness
And reasons for living
Corrupting their soul
Transfusing your sinning
 
You think…
“You thought you were winning?”
 
Ha!
 
Your face slowly changes
The expression is dark
 
She feels like she saw it once
In one of your glances
But it passed all too quickly 
And you covered with romances
 
She tries to beg forgiveness
As you tell her what she’s done
You project all of your sins
And she wants to give in
And confess to the crimes
You committed
 
But before she can speak
Your image just blackens
Becoming no more than a shadow in her mind
 
The terror in her nightmares
For so many nights to come
As she lies all alone filled with dread
 
She thought you were real
And that you could feel
Like the other men she had once known
 
But you wore a mask 
That she helped you to cast
As you once hung on her every word
 
And now there’s another 
Just waiting to instruct you
To create a new mask in every detail…
 
As you listen intently
The details are mentally filed
Your plan is being formed as you fashion a smile
 
She thinks you’re so sweet
And is utterly amazed
At how you share all her hopes 
And admire her dreams
 
As you hold up the mirror
And show her herself
It is a match made in heaven for sure
 
She wonders how she found someone
She has so much in common with
Someone who feels just the same
 
As you study her strength
And look for the cracks 
You will shove your knife through
All too soon
 
A brand new mask has been forged
For the new prey to love
And sacrifice all that she has for
 
You suck all her blood 
And you take all she has
With the promise that all will be repaid
 
You will buy her that house
With the white picket fence
That she carries the picture of
In the pocket of her dress
 
But she does not see
That you were a different person to me
 
And will make another mask
When you are done with this task
 
It’s all such a chore but you’ve done it before
 
One mask for each girl 
Let the games begin to twirl
They all end the same in the end
 

9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. survivednarc
    Dec 31, 2015 @ 11:45:54

    So precise that it is scary! Thanks for sharing. Hugs. 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. Amy
    Dec 31, 2015 @ 12:54:26

    Wow – amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. Karin
    Dec 31, 2015 @ 13:26:33

    This was hard to like but so incredibly well written and accurate. You’ve described perfectly how a narcissist manoeuvres and reminds me how blessed I am for having escaped the one who hijacked my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • gentlekindness
      Dec 31, 2015 @ 13:45:31

      I am so glad you are out now. Thank you for sharing. I am sorry that you could relate.

      I wonder how this poem is experienced by people who have never been targeted. It must sound like some kind of fantasy babble.

      No one seems to be able to accept the truth from us. They think we are crazy.

      I am grateful for the people I met online when I was first out of the relationship with a psycjopathic narcissist. I dont know how aI would have gotten through.

      Much love,
      Annie 🌹💃💃💕

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      • Karin
        Dec 31, 2015 @ 15:45:24

        The ones I wonder most about are the Apaths that mine collected or the ‘mini affairs’, those who saw and read my poetry from the very beginning and yet never say a word to me. I think it’s just expedient for them to think what they will and call us crazy. Why let truth muddy up the waters, right? ** rueful smile**
        I’m glad you’re out too and feel the same about the online community who know about this. They saved my sanity.
        Wishing you all the very best. ~ kei xo

        Liked by 1 person

  4. New Journey
    Dec 31, 2015 @ 19:27:29

    wonderful poem…really makes it all real…well said….Happy New Year and a blessed new year…kat

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. Heart Shaped Eyes
    Jan 02, 2016 @ 08:25:17

    Oh my God!! So crazy how they follow the same instruction book! This gave me goosebumps! Good job!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • gentlekindness
      Jan 03, 2016 @ 01:39:41

      They really do. I was reading a blog by someone who is a narcissist. They also have a book you can read on kindle. It outlines all of theri methods and tactics. I will try to send you a link. Hang on a sec…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • Heart Shaped Eyes
        Jan 03, 2016 @ 06:57:39

        I think I might be following that blog your speaking of! He tells story’s from the narcissists point of view and I don’t know whether to curse him or thank him!! I wish I could remember the name, but if it’s the same one, it’s really mindblowing.

        Like

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