mental illness

Daughter First Day of College- Mixed Emotions

gentlekindness

My older daughter (older of the two daughters) had her first college class this evening. I can hardly believe she is old enough for college. I still remember her climbing all over the place as a toddler, because she was such a baby monkey …LOL

We used to do everything together…the park, the library, museums, Vacation Bible schools. petting zoos, and going to high school musical at the local schools.

Now she is moving on into her own life, with her friends and activities. It is great but also kind of sad. We can never go back. I will always remember how she was my best friend and we did so much fun stuff together.

Published by gentlekindness

Searching for meaning, beauty and inspiration, amid the darkness and pain of this existence. Hoping to guide others to find what is true for them, and to draw out the inner light in others.

13 thoughts on “Daughter First Day of College- Mixed Emotions”

    1. Thank you. I really do miss when she used to always want to spend time with me. But I have the memories of those things we did and even some flyers and things in the closet.
      I really thought that we would be very close when she became an adult. because we were so close when she was growing up, but she seems more distant from me…and very sure she knows everything better than I do…..and that she could do things better than I am doing them…

      I guess she is young and does not see how hard things are for me. It is not as easy as it looks for me to be living in the situation I am living in and take care of the younger sister who is 12. But it just looks easy from her point of view, so she is judgmental of me.

      Hopefully it will pass with time, and she will be more forgiving and accepting of how I do things. I really do the best I can by both of the daughters. It is hard to be in difficult financial situations and to have to live with your ex in laws , who you wanted to leave in your past.

      Anyway, she took her psychology class tonight and she has math on Thursday.
      Blessings
      ANnie

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      1. Oh my goodness… what you said about your daughter judging you, not understanding you, and thinking she knows everything… my daughter was saying the exact same things about her daughter, my oldest granddaughter, a couple of years ago. My daughter and granddaughter were very close, until my granddaughter became college age. My daughter said she had thought they had dodged the bullet of teenage rebellion — until then.

        Sometimes my daughter would call me in tears over something hateful that her daughter had said. But, the good news is that my granddaughter is now outgrowing that awful stage. She is closer and more respectful to her mom again. Hopefully it will go the same way in your case.

        My oldest granddaughter is 23 now, she will be 24 in March. She graduated from Temple University last May with a BA in anthropology. Currently she is enrolled in the anthropology masters program at Harvard. A lot has changed since she graduated from high school. 🙂

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      2. Thank you for sharing that. In some ways my daughter is so similar to me but I never have said things to my parents like what she says. Maybe it is the Millenia generation…they seem to be a generation of entitlement.
        Rather than appreciating the things we do for them…they complain about what we cannot do .. .they expect our entire life to revolve around them and it leaves us no room to have a life of our own….When we say “No” to something…even if it is because we are sick…they are offended and call “abuse!” ….

        Something went terribly wrong with the generation. They are very narcissistic.

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      3. I agree that many of this generation seem to be incredibly selfish and shockingly disrespectful. However, I know quite a few in this age group who are really terrific young men and women.

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  2. I know how you feel, Annie. I’m an empty nester now, and it was such a hard transition at first. Like you, I did everything with my two daughters when they were little, they were my little friends. They’ve grown up, in college and beyond. There have been times they’ve been more distant. But they were trying to figure out their independence and ‘new’ lives.

    But now, Talee (in college) calls me just about everyday, says she misses me, and wishes she could run errands with me or watch TV with me. My older, Mackenzie, lives and works in the city, about an hour away. She’s super busy and not much time to talk. But just yesterday she texted me and said she misses me, and what are dad and I doing this weekend? She’s coming home to relax, unwind, get away from her stressors.

    When both girls come home, their favorite thing to do is run errands with me and go to fun places. I actually call them “my little friends.” Still! I still call them that. They both absolutely love being with my husband and I. We are blessed. But my point is, they do come back. And as wiser, more appreciative young women. Hang in there!

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    1. Thank you so much for saying that. You have made me feel a bit better., She is very independent but then…I raised her to be that way. I always told her to think for herself and not to take anyone’e opinions at face value…that her opinion mattered.
      She is so beautiful and also very artistic. She draws amazing artwork. I hope that she can do something with her art someday.
      Thank you for letting me know that she will probably come back…I know she has to challenge me right now because she is trying to see what it is like to be the MOM .
      Not as easy as it looks from the outside !
      Love,
      Annie

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      1. You’re so right! She’s testing the waters. You’re an amazing mom, I can tell! Your beautiful daughter will come back. I’m sure it’s comforting for her to know that you’ll always be there for her 🙂

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  3. I graduated from high school in 2012. I’ve moved out and have been living with my fiance for 4 years now. My mother and I are closer now than we have ever been! Your relationship with her will grow so much more now that you’re both adults! It didn’t happen right away though. My mom and I where best friends up until I was 18, then I turned into the “adult” I thought I was and didn’t want to be around my mom as much. But now that I’m 21, we’ve done grown A LOT closer to each other in these past 3 years. Wishing you the best of luck!

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    1. That really means a lot to me that you shared that story about you and your mom. I know she has to find her own wings and challenging me and my ways is her way of doing that.
      She is very smart and creative. I raised her to be independent, so this is what I should have been ready for.
      Thank you so much for sharing your story and for the support 🙂
      Love,
      Annie

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