Beware the Signs of Toxic People in Your Life

Beware of people who say or imply things like this…

They know you better than you know yourself

They know what is best for you better than you do

You cannot make choices for yourself because you do not make the choices they want

They are doing something that hurts you for your own good

They have to control you for your own good

You don’t know what is best for you

You can’t do things (are not good enough to do them) that you think or know you can do

You won’t be successful at something 9because you are not good enough) you think or know you can be successful at

You are selfish for prioritizing things that you need to prioritize

You are selfish when you do something that is exactly what they do

You have to give up doing things you love because it is interfering with spending your time doing everything for them, or everything they want you to do

You are abusive for telling them they are being abusive to you

You are cruel for trying to set boundaries with them 

You are  not allowed to do certain things, but they are allowed to do them

You are not allowed to ask questions about where they have been, but they demand to know where you are at all times

They can choose their own friends but you cannot choose yours

You have to like their friends but they can tell you to stop seeing your friends

You have to like their family, but they can tell you not to see yours

You have to pick up the phone the second they call, but they can get back to whenever they feel like it…even if they promised to call or text you at a certain time

They can control how much time you spend together and you have no say in it, but you better say yes when they want to spend time with you

They conveniently do not recall conversations you had with them and things they said, when it suits them

They claim you you are too sensitive, when they do things to hurt you… but they are justified in telling you exactly how they expect you to treat them

You will never find anyone that would tolerate you the way they do

No one other than them would ever love you

 

13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Eric Klingenberg
    Jan 27, 2016 @ 06:45:26

    Many years ago I knew someone like that. I tried unsuccessfully to get them out of my life then fate intervened and they where sent to prison. Never seen him again fortunately.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • gentlekindness
      Jan 27, 2016 @ 07:17:13

      I am glad they did not continue to torment you. I assume they went to prison for hurting someone else, which is unfortunate for that person. but at least it got them away from you. And you know what kinds of behaviors in someone to stay away from
      Annie

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      • Eric Klingenberg
        Jan 27, 2016 @ 07:41:49

        He was a very controlling person, for a time we shared a house which was possibly one of the worst periods of my life. I got out of that but because we went to same church it was hard to completely get rid of him. He was found to have illegal pictures on his computer about six months after we stopped house sharing. I have always avoided his type since. Thanks for the great post hopefully it will help others avoid it.

        Liked by 1 person

    • gentlekindness
      Jan 27, 2016 @ 14:21:58

      For a second I had a weird feeling, because I had a guitar teacher in college that was very narcissistic…then a few years after I graduated I saw him on the tv news….being arrested for having “illegal pleasures” on the computer.

      But I hopped over to see your About page, and realized you live in England, not the US, so it couldn’t be the same person….how weird would that be?

      Anyway, yeah I imagine it was a nightmarish 6 months. And it is amazing how people like this will still go to church….or are often pastors or hold positions of power in the church.

      They can act very religious and act like they are in a position to tell other people how to be “good christians” or good whaterver religion it happens to be…..Then at home they scream at their kids, terrorize their wives, torment their girlfriends or boyfriends, and are otherwise abusive behind closed doors.

      And actually porn addiction is common because narcissists never see real people as good enough for them and they do not connect intimately with anyone. Having sex with them can feel like they are having sex and you are just a prop that they could interchange at anytime.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  2. Heart Shaped Eyes
    Jan 27, 2016 @ 06:50:58

    Spot on!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. Deb
    Jan 27, 2016 @ 09:12:36

    Very true!

    Like

    Reply

  4. The Narcissist's Wife
    Jan 27, 2016 @ 10:58:09

    Spot on… These very things are what inspired me to write a series of posts using actual recorded conversations with a narcissist… For the purpose of showing how these exact sentiments get pounded into you, and a lot of times, without you being able to explain how it happened. Narcissists are a sneaky breed, I tell you.

    Like

    Reply

    • gentlekindness
      Jan 27, 2016 @ 11:07:07

      Thank you. I think your blog and the other truth-revealing blogs are very important. Somehow people should be taught what to look for before they end up losing years of their lives, being food for a psycopath or a narcissist.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • The Narcissist's Wife
        Jan 27, 2016 @ 22:06:41

        My Life’s Mission now is just that… trying to warn others, and help those for whom it is too late to warn… Thanks for sharing your voice as well… we need to make all the noise we can, I think.

        Abuse thrives in silence.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. helentastic67
    Jan 27, 2016 @ 11:49:48

    Reblogged this on Hell onWheels/Life One Handed.

    Like

    Reply

  6. helentastic67
    Jan 27, 2016 @ 11:52:32

    Are you stalking me? It’s like you were an invisible guest over Christmas!

    Like

    Reply

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