Being Authentic Means Listening to Your Feelings

image from Pinterest 

If you are getting criticism about who you are, from the people you surround yourself with, it does not mean that you should change who you are….just the people you surround yourself with. 

If complying with the people you know is the only way to get them to stop demeaning you and shaming you, then find people that do not demand compliance with their ways just so they will be nice to you. 

People who insist that you change for them do not really like you, and changing for them will not make them like you either. Those kinds of people have an agenda, and your only value to them has to do with this agenda. 

There are people in the world that will value you for who you are. You should be surrounded with people who support you and realize the value to being authentic. When everyone follows someone else, the whole world becomes fake. 

It is better to be alone for a while to gather strength. You are never completely alone. You can find people to talk to in the blogging world and other places online.

If you cannot physically separate from people who are bringing you down, the  you can emotionally detach from them. Do not gratify them with the emotional responses they are trying to elicit from you.

You cannot gather strength from being around people who do not like you for who you are. There is always support from people online. There are others who believe in being authentic.

Once you are able to breath and find yourself amidst all the programming that others tried to brainwash you with, then you can raise your consciousness level.

You will then attract people who are at a similar vibrational frequency, rather than people who were attracted to you because they are predators. 

If you feel confused or uneasy after interacting with people every time you  are with them, this should be telling you something. They are only a match to your frequency because your self esteem is low, from being bullied and carrying toxic shame.

People who support you will not leave you with that uneasy feeling. Your intuition is your first line of defense against people who are not what they say they are. Just because someone says they want to help you, and that they are “doing it for your own good,” does not make it true. 

Worthatility !

You’ve got lovability

A special lovelility

Hopeful and beautility

You are full of worthatility !

Lovability vs. Ability to Love

How did you like my new word? LOL …Lovability ….You’ve got lovability !

Sunshine is Good for Depression

Getting some sunshine can help with your mood. There are vitamins, such as vitamin D, that do not process properly in the body without sunlight on the skin.

Low vitamin D can cause depression or make it worse. With low levels of vitamin D you will feel fatigued and even dizzy.

You need some sun for at least 15 or 20 minutes on your face and arms. It is beautiful in New Jersey today. If it is sunny where you live, see if you can sit in the sun or go for a short walk today.

Remember to uncover your arms and allow the sun to contact your skin. You don’t need to stay out long enough to burn….just long enough to feel the sun on your skin.

While you are in the sun, just focus on the warmth and energy from the rays on your skin. Allow other thoughts to come and go, just oberving them as if you are watching a movie.

Be mindful of the sensations the sun is bringing you. Notice other things in the environment and how they are affecting your senses.

This mindfulness will help you to detach from any anxiety or depression for a little while , and help to re-wire some of your learned thought patterns.

 

Holidays for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families

GentleKindness

If you were brought up in a chaotic, dysfunctional, emotionally abusive or negligent childhood then you were taught not to focus on your own needs. As an adult you are at a disadvantage in taking care of yourself.

You might notice that other people draw boundaries and get what they want easier than you do. This is because they were taught that their needs matter and that you have to take care of yourself or no one else will.

Those of us with “People Pleaser Syndrome” were taught ..” if you cater to someone else then eventually that person will take care of you.”

You are supposed to keep sacrificing for others until they appreciate you for what you have sacrificed for them. Unfortunately people most often do not change from “being catered to” to “taking care of you.”

The problem is that the people around you get trained ……

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Mi -Nuestro- Universo

This is from one of my favorite artist / photographers on WordPress. Pop over and see the rest of her work. She is inspirational. 💕

Photography Clouds

Artwork by my Daughter

Scapegoating – Narcissistic Family and Holidays

Coaching for Narcissistic Abuse Facebook page

The gentlekindness coaching facebook page is beginning to get more follows. This past week has been better because I ran a” Boost Post” ad for the page. I am not quite sure yet if it will turn out to be something I will pay for again, but so far it seems to be drawing new followers. 

Stop by the page and take a look HERE