How to Live with Emotional Trauma and PTSD

ptsd facesimage from pinterest source here 

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People who have mental pain, have trouble in day to day situations, where other people seem to float right through.

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Everyone around us seems to have a better handle on just getting through life, than we do. It is so easy to become discouraged by watching other people do things that we either cannot do, or cannot do without mental anguish.

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People are good at things that they have had the background, the support, and the early wiring to be good at. Even the things we learn when we are older, are easier to learn if we were wired properly when we were growing up.

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A lot of the people you are comparing yourself to had parents that helped them to follow the normal development stages and they also had the mental stability to process all of the stages properly, in order for the neurons in their brains to be set up to do these things.

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There are chemicals involved in every process we do. The chemicals in our brains are dominating our feelings and our feelings affect how well we can do things.

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We have behavioral patterns and they are also linked to the organic connections (neurons and chemicals) in our brains.

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If there is any trauma, abuse, neglect during childhood / teenage hood, we can end up with things that are not wired properly. We also end up with the chemicals sending the wrong signals and we feel depression, anxiety and worthlessness about ourselves.

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Your feelings of not being as good as other people are conditioned behavioral patterns of your brain. Past trauma, abuse or neglect may have caused these patterns.

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Your inability to things that other people do, may be related to feeling inadequate to do them, feeling depressed, anxiety etc. This is not your fault that you have these chemical, neurological responses to doing things.

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If you feel anxiety about something and someone else does not feel that, then of course they will be able to do that thing, better and more easily than you can.

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It is not fair to yourself to compare your brain on depression or anxiety with their brain that is functioning perfectly well. It does not mean that you can never learn to do it, but it means that it is much harder for you to do things, than it is for them.

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When we have mental illness issues, it is more fair to us, if we so not compare ourselves directly with people who do not have any mental illness or trauma in their background. I have recently come to believe this is true

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I spent many years wondering why I felt so inadequate to everyone and why I felt so out of place.

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I had so much trauma in my back ground that I could not keep up with the people that had brains that functioned normally. It was not that I was not as smart, but it was because my brain was and is so traumatized.

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I am learning that we have to be kind to ourselves. In order to be kind to ourselves, we have to understand and feel compassion for the fact that trauma, abuse, neglect, depression, anxiety and any other mental issues, does cause us some disability.

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We cannot always compete with the other people. There is no reason that you have to do things the way other people do them. 

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image sd face

image source here

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We can learn to heal and to slowly re-wire our brains. But mostly we have to talk to ourselves like we would talk to someone else that we knew was having trouble feeling as good as everyone else. You are as good as everyone else, whether you can do everything they can do or not.

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We all have gifts and are good at things. You might be good at something that those other people suck at. I bet you are better are being compassionate for another human that feels depressed and worthless.

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The ability to be compassionate is not a gift that a lot of people have. Compassion is a lost art these days. People who have mental suffering can often also be compassionate to others who have depression and anxiety. That makes you better than them at something.

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You are also probably better are being introspective and analyzing things.  Many people  just go with the flow of what everyone else is doing and they do not think for themselves. If you can think for yourself then you are better at that too.

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I think that we are just better at different things than most people are. There is room for us in the world too. The world cannot be balanced, if all of the people just follow the crowd and just act the same way and believe the same things.

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Once we begin to be accepting of ourselves just the way we are, then we can begin to re-wire some of the trauma that we have.

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People with psychological trauma usually end up with some kind of post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression, OCD or other mental disorder. We can learn to show kindness to ourselves.

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We can learn to be functional, compassionate people. There are plenty of things we can be good at. If we cannot answer the phones for a job, because we have social anxiety then so be it.  If we cannot work at certain types of jobs because we are constantly triggered onto post traumatic stress there, then so be it.

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A person with an eating disorder may not be able to work in a bakery. Well if they cannot do that, it does not make them less than anyone else.

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It just means that they cannot do that activity safely  because of their disorder. Someone who has a phobia of open spaces cannot work in the mall. So, what of it?

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We are okay the way we are. We are trying to heal. We are trying to connect with others. If there are things we cannot do, then so be it.

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It is not because we are less than anyone else. They did not grow up, or have the adult past that we have had. Someone else may not have survived your situations as well as you did. How do they know what it is like in your world?

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We all need a break from feeling shame, inadequacy, and worthlessness. We need to show ourselves some kindness and compassion in our thoughts about ourselves. We are doing the best we can with what we have to work with. We have to work with our brains being the way they are, right at this very minute.

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Blessings to all,

Annie

28 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. GettingrealwithPTSD
    Apr 10, 2016 @ 12:47:39

    Dear Annie,
    Thank you for this thoughtful post. It spoke of thoughts and feelings I have all too often – “the not as good as everyone else” blues. Hope this finds you having a wonderful day. Peace, Sandie

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  2. GettingrealwithPTSD
    Apr 10, 2016 @ 12:47:57

    Reblogged this on GettingrealwithPTSD.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. DaisyWillows
    Apr 10, 2016 @ 12:58:11

    fabulous post. You have a new friend . Daisy x

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  4. lynettedavis
    Apr 10, 2016 @ 15:06:41

    Thank you so much for this post. I’ve been dealing with some intense on-the-outside-looking-in feelings. This post really helped me to put things into prospective. Blessings.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  5. sleeping tiger
    Apr 10, 2016 @ 17:17:44

    I could Like this post a thousand times.
    It really gets across something I had gone through really intensely for most of my life. “Why can’t I function like ‘everyone’ else does?”

    I learned that PTSD is the answer to that some time ago but reading this really does validate that realization.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. sleeping tiger
    Apr 10, 2016 @ 17:21:29

    Reblogged this on Sleeping Tiger and commented:
    I can’t believe I came across this post today just as I’d been feeling so down on myself for being so exhausted today and feeling some classic symptoms of PTSD after a grocery store trip yesterday.

    This post really validates why I actually need to recover from such a day.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • gentlekindness
      Apr 11, 2016 @ 04:17:12

      I am glad the post was validating for you. I understand about feeling drained …or being triggered….doing a grocery shopping trip. Some days you have to rest in bed just to recover from being re-traumatized the day before.
      Thank you for reading. Talk to you again,
      Annie💕🌸🎀🌷🐇🐇

      Liked by 3 people

      Reply

  7. Lady Quixote/Linda Lee
    Apr 10, 2016 @ 17:52:35

    I really needed to read this today, gentle Annie. Just before I turned my tablet on hoping to find something to distract me from my emotional pain, I was praying to God asking Him to please hurry up and take me to heaven because life is so painful and hard for me. No, I am not suicidal, just very tired of the daily struggle just to be.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • gentlekindness
      Apr 16, 2016 @ 03:04:30

      I m glad this post found you when you needed to be uplifted. I am sorry you have been struggling.
      Thank you for visiting. It is always nice to hear from you. 🙂
      Annie ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • Lady Quixote/Linda Lee
        Apr 16, 2016 @ 08:29:09

        Thank you, Annie. I am feeling much better now. I realized that my increased anxiety and feeling of being overwhelmed had started shortly after I began taking a super b complex vitamin supplement. I did a search and discovered that taking too much of the b vitamins can cause anxiety in some people. So I stopped taking it and now I feel a lot better.

        I had initially started taking the super high dose of b vitamin complex for increased energy. But apparently anything that can stimulate your energy can over stimulate your nerves, and that is exactly what happened to me. I don’t eat or drink anything with caffeine for this reason.

        Liked by 1 person

    • gentlekindness
      Apr 17, 2016 @ 03:41:10

      It is amazing how the body can react to things that seem like little things. like vitamins. And when the body reacts, the mind follows.
      I am glad you are feeling calmer now.
      Thank you for letting me know.
      Annie 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  8. lynettedavis
    Apr 10, 2016 @ 19:17:59

    I so understand what you’re saying Linda. I’m generally able to trudge along, no matter what, but yesterday, I got sideswiped (triggered). And this morning, after praying about it, I read two blogs that were immensely helpful. Grateful.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  9. Deb
    Apr 12, 2016 @ 12:19:45

    This is a great post. I go through moments when I ask myself why I can’t be good at things like others….or why I have trouble doing what is ‘normal’. This was a great lift for my spirit.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  10. sepultura13
    Apr 12, 2016 @ 18:07:55

    You’re definitely not alone in this feeling…great post. I can relate.
    *HUGS*
    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. lynettedavis
    Apr 17, 2016 @ 16:09:08

    Reblogged this on Memoir Notes.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  12. Diana
    May 01, 2016 @ 14:48:06

    There is a power to hear validation’s that we argue in our mind, but know of it’s truth…..coming from someone else. It is a confirmation, a stamp of approval. Thank you for this! Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  13. D.R.Black
    Aug 10, 2016 @ 18:21:52

    Makes a lotta sense thank you for sharing Annie.

    Like

    Reply

  14. starvingartist2016
    Aug 16, 2016 @ 22:37:14

    This post. It’s so beautiful. It’s definitely helped me through out this day. Not only through this day but explains exactly what I’ve felt for the past thirteen years of my life. Thank you.
    Beverly.

    Like

    Reply

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