Are You Attracting Abusive Partners ?

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. lynettedavis
    Jun 05, 2016 @ 03:47:13

    I’m glad you touched on this subject of attracting narcissists because I’ve been pondering this for several weeks now. When I look back at my life, I can see that every relationship that I’ve ever had, male and female, were with narcissists. I don’t think I’m doing anything to attract them, however, in the scenario that you used about the room full of people, they would end up with me. I think they’re two reasons for this, at least in my case: #1, I’m attracted to narcissists because they “feel” familiar to me. Growing up with a narcissist mother, that’s all I really know. It “feels” like I’ve known them for a long time. Up until now, I’ve always took that as a good sign. I now know that’s not a good sign. #2, Narcissists are attracted to me because they can see that I’m a loner. And loners make their job even easy because we’re already semi-isolated already. The problem the opposite sex have with me is that I don’t have low self-esteem–I’m a loner because I don’t trust people easily. So, other than my ex-husband who, unfortunately, was in my life way longer than I was comfortable with, most don’t stay because they’re not able to manipulate me they way that they want to. Even my girlfriends have been narcissists. I know this not because of the way they treated me, but by the way they treated their two kids, the golden child and the scapegoat child. When I tried to gently point out instances where they may not have been fair to the scapegoat child (at that time I didn’t know that there were terms for the children), they would become sullen, and I always felt like I was overstepping my friendship boundaries. And I always backed off because, like you said, we were conditioned to not say anything that would hurt anyone’s feelings, i.e. consider other people’s feelings before our own, and to believe that all people have some good in them, which is not true. I now know that most people have good in them, but some people are evil, plain and simple. My friends, believe it or not, were very good to me, which is how I know that there are two faces to narcissists.

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  2. Jordan Walsh
    Jun 05, 2016 @ 13:11:13

    Yes. I believe I attracts narcs and other abusers.

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    • gentlekindness
      Jun 05, 2016 @ 19:46:53

      Thank you for visiting the blog. You can join us at the Facebook page as well. See the link and info in the header at the top of this blog. If you cannot find it let me know, and I will send you the link.
      Have a peaceful day,
      Annie 💜💕🌷

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