Self Soothing ; Coping with Anxiety and Depression

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.Self soothing and having a variety of coping methods for anxiety is an important part of surviving life in this world. Some children are guided to learn these things, while others are not. If you grew up with parents that were neglectful or abusive, then you most likely grew up with no self soothing skills. 

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Everyone has anxiety and stress to deal with, but some people end up with anxiety disorders that overpower their lives, and their ability to interact with others in stressful environments.

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If you never learned coping skills for anxiety growing up, then you can still find methods that will work for you. 

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If you suffer from depression and anxiety, then you need to be able to self sooth. You need to find special methods that work for you. Everyone is unique and not all coping skills work for all people.

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It does not matter what your go-to methods are, or how silly or childish they might seem to someone else. You can buy yourself a special stuffed animal and a soft blanket if those things are soothing to you. 

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Sometimes it is the inner child that needs soothing, in which case doing the same things that would sooth a small child might be just the thing you need to do. I don’t mean carrying around a stuffed bunny rabbit with you out in public, but in your own home you can do what you want without worrying about outside judgement.

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If you are living with people who would judge you, then you probably are getting some of your anxiety from living with those people and that might be an issue you will need to deal with at some point. 

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If you live alone, or at least sleep in your own room, then your self soothing and comforting activities can be ones that made you feel safe as a child. If you grew up in environments where you often felt fearful, then that inner child is still looking for a safe place to be. You may be triggered by things that remind you of your fears from childhood.

Other self soothing activities for you might be coloring in a coloring book, reading a favorite story from a children’s story book, or an adult story book. You can carry items with you during the day that you find comforting. It is easy to keep small things in your purse or in your car. 

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Indoor or outdoor places can be soothing environments also.

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If you feel relaxed and safe at the park, by a lake, at the beach, or someplace in nature, then you can take yourself for a visit to a place that makes you feel connected with nature. You do not have to feel guilty for taking time out for yourself, even though you may have been conditioned to feel that way. 

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You might feel safe and comfortable someplace like a book store, a library, a bowling alley, a movie theater or a museum. Whatever makes you feel more able to deal with your anxiety is a good place to go. There is no reason you cannot take some time out of your day for yourself. It does not have to be expensive or cost anything at all. 

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Yoga and meditation are great ways to center yourself also. You can take a yoga class or do yoga at home. There are meet-ups you can find in your area by searching a site like meetup.com.

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Being with people of similar interests might be helpful for you, and the exercise is very good for regulating the nervous system. There are small groups that meet for meditation and spiritual activities at churches and other places that people rent for the purposes of getting together. 

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If you enjoy animals more that people. then there are places where you can be around animals. Even walking around Pet Smart for a half hour can be a great break from the anxiety of the day. There are animal shelters that would be glad to have visitors to help with the animals or to volunteer on a regular basis. 

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Music is helpful for many people in reducing anxiety and increasing dopamine, as well as reducing cortisol.

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The levels of these chemicals in your body alter the way you feel, your mood and your anxiety level. Anything that reduces cortisol and raises dopamine and the feel-good chemicals is probably good for you. 

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You can find what works best for you with a little trial and error. If you are not sure about something but you want to try it, go ahead and see how it works for you. Once you begin to explore different kinds of activities you may find that you discover new ones that you would not have otherwise thought of. 

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If you are introverted then you will probably be most soothed by doing things alone, or in small groups of like-minded people, or people with similar interest and values. If you are extroverted then you might find the most relaxation with larger group activities. But you can vary your coping activities between introverted and extroverted ones. 

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It might help you to take a free Meyers Briggs test online. You can find one if you search google, or I can give you a link. If you learn more about your own personality type, it can help you to discover the kinds of things that trigger your anxiety . You may find validation for why certain things make you feel depressed. 

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Another thing you could consider is what you are taking into your body.

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The food and drink that you bring into your physical body can have a strong effect on your mood and will power. Sometimes a small adjustment in the kinds of food you eat, or adding a vitamin that you may be deficient it, can make a marked difference in your mood. 

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I have offered you some ideas, but you can discover many more. Be creative and open minded. Sometimes just the simple act of trying new routines and spending 20 minutes doing something that you don’t usually allow yourself to do, can have am effect on your nervous system. 

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The nervous system can become disregulated from stress, from abuse, and from having PTSD from a past trauma. You may be living in the present physically, but emotionally connected to things that happened in your past. Sometimes hypnosis, inner child work, and compassionate dialogue with a trained therapist or life coach can be helpful. 

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Make sure you choose any professional help with care, and don’t feel that you are stuck with someone that is not serving your purposes, or is not a great match for you.

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You can ask the person questions about what they specialize in and why. Someone who is going to be talking with you about a abusive past for example, needs to specialize in that area or they will have difficulty really understanding what your responses are about. 

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I hope this finds you all well, and I wish you healing and empowerment. You are a special individual. You are unique. You have just as much of a right to have a meaningful and empowering life as anyone else does. 

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Namaste,

Annie – gentlekindness coaching web site

http://www.gentlekindnesscoaching.com/

visit my youtube channel HERE


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Video for Depression and Anxiety

Authentically You

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You are a unique being. Your gifts and dreams are important.

We were not made to be plastic dolls to be used like puppets by the manipulative ones.

Society is so brainwashed by all sorts of media and organized social structures. You are not their puppet either.

You are not a cardboard cut-out , here to play the role someone else thinks you should play.

You are not here to just be part of someone else’s narrative. You make your own movie and your own story.

Be free and be authentically you.

Awakening Your Reality to Combat Depression and Anxiety

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Awakening to The more we get emotionally caught up in “playing the game of life” the farther we get from truth and reality.

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The game is hypnotic and seduces you. This seduction is not always of a pleasant nature, nor to we recognize it. We become caught up in the idea that who we are is reflected by how well we are doing…and how well we have done…in the game.

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We become brainwashed into thinking that our achievements…or lack thereof…are a mirror of who we are.

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People are judged by how well they play the game, and some will crush others down or take credit for their accomplishments, just to serve their own place in the game.

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“Nice guys finish last” becomes true if you become caught up in the hypnotic nature of the delusion. …the delusion that was created by narcissistic, manipulators who live to prey on others like animals.

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“It’s a jungle out there” ….only because human predators blend in and stalk their prey unnoticed. Many of them beat and mentally torture their wives, behind closed doors.

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If you have has abusive relationships then you were probably conditioned to accept your very low place in “the game.”

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You have been financially disabled, and your drive and instinct to play the game has been stolen. You have been left with inadequate cards to continue to play with any hope.

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A small percent of the players, who thrive at the very top of the food chain hold 90 percent of all the game finances and power. The pyramid opens up at the bottom, with players who have had every last bit of self esteem…and will to live…crushed out of them.

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Shame and guilt are used as tactics to manipulate those that have been conditioned to readily accept those emotions, ans what they entail. Shaming tactics of manipulation are used by those who have no sense of shame, guilt, remorse or empathy.

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“Divide and conquer” …becomes a commonly used tactic by the manipulators, as they pull the strings of those puppets they control….and use those puppets to harass, threaten, and otherwise torture their victims.

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People unaware of the continuous brainwashing, and conditioning by the game, become drained and fatigued. People with great compassion can become disillusioned and begin to feel hopeless.

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Depression and anxiety disorders arise. Suicides increase. Chronic pain, chronic fatigue syndrome, and illness are some of the results of psychological abuse and massive conditioning of society to be blindly compliant to accepting your role.

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New generations are conditioned, just like the last ones, that “the game” is the one and only reality….and that everyone is subject to its rules…..little knowing…..that the rules are being controlled by the players at the top, who manipulate reality in any manner they choose to.

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Lesser predators lurk about to prey on vulnerable targets. Having the quality of compassion….without knowledge of the matrix….makes people perfect targets for those with no empathy…and no conscience.

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The game is only as real as the collective consciousness believes it is. Individuals can begin to break free of the conditioning and the brainwashing….but still must find ways to survive….without being destroyed by the machinations of the manipulators.

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Where your attention is focused, makes a difference in the reality that will be perceived by you….thus manifested by you. But the subconscious attention, intention, and beliefs are more powerful at times…than what you think you are consciously focusing your attention on.

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You can put cracks in the reality of the game, by re-wiring the neural pathways in your brain, that have become addicted to negative, and self-sabatoging thought patterns. It is an illusion that has wired itself into your hard drive….without your conscious consent.

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The “way of the world” is controlled by the minority of players that are wearing masks…and blindly believed by the rest of us…that “that is how it has to be”….because the cycles always repeat.

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Awakening to the matrix is a process. It often begins at the point of “rock bottom”….when the pain of still believing in this illusion of reality….becomes too painful to continue to exist in.

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Seek the truth in stillness….with all presuppositions turned off….and assumptions about “who you are” …as it is reflected by what you have done….what you have been told about yourself and who you are….and what you have been conditioned to suffer with….put into their proper perspective….which is that those things were conditioned into you by other players with their own agenda.

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Authenticity awaits you. Your intuition speaks to you causing feelings in your body. You have been brainwashed into ignoring those feelings.

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Allow your feelings to guide you, rather than the subconscious impulses that arise from the conditioning.

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“Who” you are….is who you want to be.

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It is simple and elegant.

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You can make the choices that honor your authentic self.

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You are not your past.

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You are not your conditioned thought patterns.

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You are not who people say you are.

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You are not the identity, or the role that you have been pushed into playing in the game.

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You are more.

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You are who you want to be.

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You are who you imagine you could be in another reality.

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You are who you would wish to be if you were in a story book.

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Reach out with your imagination….beyond this  illusion of reality you have accepted as true.

Stillness Meditation Calming Technique

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This is a calming exercise I created, borrowing ideas from Buddhism and stillness practice.

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1. Sit or lay comfortably.

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2. Relax your shoulders and neck by letting the muscles release themselves.

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3. Allow your shoulders to drop naturally and your neck to let you head rest comfortable,without forcing it into any particular position.

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4. Relax your face muscles and let your cheeks and lips completely relax and drop.

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5. Breath in relaxed, drawing the breath in  fully. Then breath out while closing the back of your throat just enough to control the breath as you expell it.

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6. Say this sentence in your mind…

“There is stillness between each word”

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7. Repeat the sentence in your mind…putting space between each word. Breath relaxed as you say them, and continue to relax your face and mouth.

“There…is…stillness…between…each…word.”

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8. Repeat the sentence several times slower each time. Allow the space between each word to get longer and more expansive each time you repeat the sentence.

“There……..is……..stillness……..between……each……..word.”

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9. Relax into the spaces between the words and feel that silent space expanding within you and beyond you.

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10. Allow any thoughts to go away during these silent spaces. Just fall into the quiet between the spaces between the words.

You can anticipate the next wotd…picture it….during the spaces….but allow the “running mental tapes” to be silent.

Sometimes images will arise but let them drift into the distance.

Fall into the arms of the ceasing of the constant words that usually run through your mind.

Just “be” and rest your mind. The mind needs a rest from the constant chatter.

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Ten Messages About Self Care and Self Love

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image from Pinterest  HERE

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1. Self care and kindness.

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2. It is okay to need things.

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3. You deserve to have things that you want, just like everyone else does.

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4. It is not selfish to prioritize your emotional and mental health, over what other people want.

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5. You are not “the only” person who can help someone, no matter what tell you. With the exception of your children under your cate, other people can and will find someone else to help them if you need to tell them NO.

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6. It is okay to tell people NO, if you do not want to do something. Notice how many times they have helped you or not helped you. Some people always take from others and never give. Save your energies for someone who will really appreciate you.

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image from Pinterest HERE

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7. You can and should be comfortable in your surroundings. Taking time to declutter your bedroom and set things up nicely is a good use of your time. If you need to give out a few NO’s to people who are sucking your time….then do so.

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8. Sleep is not wasted time. Sleep is a necessary altered state of our consciousness. Part of our life is existing on that alternate plane of reality. It integrates your conscious mind with your subconscious.

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image from Pinterest HERE

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9. Eat from all the food groups. Think ahead about planning your food for the week and include healthy snacks. Low blood sugar causes brain fog, confusion, memory problems and fatigue.

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10. You are equally worthy and valuable to anyone else on the planet. Negative “self talk” is actually bad programming and corruption of your brain software, put in like a malicious virus by emotionally abusive people.

Today’s Message for You

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Hi guys.

I am feeling better today after sleeping about 15 hours yesterday. Sometimes we have to listen to our bodies telling us we are exhausted.

Exhaustion can come from sleep deprivation, emotional stress, anxiety, depression, financial or mental stress, loneliness, or living is resistance to our situations.

We will discuss resistance in future posts, but basically it is a state of not fully accepting the circumstances we are in. Not to say that you should accept them, but living in situations that are unnatural to our higher, spiritual selves is draining.

Being an individual being means not having to just follow along with what others tell you. You should not have to take on the identity that others want you to be. Sometimes other people have their own agenda that they are trying to force you to conform to.

Your soul will resist against this. Your brain holds certain beliefs in the subconscious and will resist the efforts of others to make you behave in ways contrary to your core beliefs.

You can continue to live in resistance, which will break you down, and eventually result in disease and illness, or mental illness. Or you can take steps to find a way to live where you are able to be authentic.

Sending love and healing to all of my caring followers,

Annie 💕

A Message for You

I have not posted in a coupl3 of days. I have not been feeling well. I think I have some sort of a sinus infection combined with anxiety from PTSD.

I fell asleep when I gor home today at 6 pm and just woke up now at midnight. I am goung to go back to sleep after I do this. I just took some pain medicatiin for the headache.

The weather in New Jersey has been beautiful. Hopefully tomorrow I will sit outside for awhile. If I get to the house I babysit at early, I can sit in their porch.

I feel like the sun will help whatever is dragging me down. If it is not better tomorrow then I will figure out how and where to be seen to get antibiotics. But I would prefer it dissipate on its own.

The message that is on my mind for you is to be more aware of your real truth, and your authentic feelings. Here are some things you can practice this week.

1. When sitting or laying comfortably, focus on your body and how the energy feels and how each part has sensations.

Start by bringing your attention to your toes. Focus on the right foot toes and notice the sensations in them. See if you can feel energy flowing through them.

Then focus on your left foot toes and observe the sensations and feelings in each toe. Do this with your feet. Then your fingers and hands.

It will bring your mind’s attention inwardly towards your sensations and away from anxiety and the thought patterns that start anxiety.

2. Look up yoga postures and choose 2 that you can do easily. Practice these pistures a few times a day, for a few minutes each.

3. Get ingredients for fresh salad…Romaine Lettuce, Tomatoes, Cucumbers….whatever you like. And a nice light dressing like an Asian Ginger, or something with a nice flavor.

Notice all the flavors and textures, as you are eating the salad. Each ingredient having it’s own energy and benefit for your health.

4. Take a pause before making decisions and choices. Don’t go on automatic pilot all day. Feel the sensations in your body and what they are telling you about how you feel about the choice you were going to make. Rethink and when you can, make a conscious choice, rather than a subconscious reaction.

5. Realize that the people around you will not change for you. If there are needs you have that are not being met by the people in your life, find a place where people are most likely to be tbe kind of personalities, and spiritual consciousness levels, that are more likely to support your needs.

6. Expise yourself to something that will allow you to laugh freely. It might be a tv show, a person, a group of people, a place or anything you enjoy.

Don’t imprison yourself into situations with no joy and no laughter. Break out of those places and people when you can.

Much love,

Annie

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