Clicking

The light from the cell phone
Only partially illuminates the room
All else is silent but the wind
And the sound of the tiny clicks
that sound out loud
each time a letter is typed

The writing keeps me thinking
The writing stops me from thinking too much
About the darkness
The writing keeps me feeling
The writing keeps me from feeling too much
Of the darkness

The resonating echo of the clicks
Filling the emptiness of the room
Makes me feel some safety …
Something familiar
Something “normal”
Something reliable
Something to frighten
the darkness away

To ward it off
To block it’s path
To distract my mind
To pretend it cannot reach me
But it’s all around
I can feel it rising
From the floors of the bedroom
To the top of the mattress

But I just keep typing
To hear the clicking
Of the cell phone keys in the dark
Because it isn’t the darkness
From the lack of light
That frightens me the very most
But the other darkness that rises
And closes all around me
That no one thinks is there
And no one else can see

 

 

© 2016 gentlekindness

Eating Disorders and the Holidays

If you have an eating disorder I know the holidays can be a very difficult time for you. People do not always understand, and there is so much pressure about eating and food.

You need to prioritize your own mental health and well being. An eating disorder has deep psychological roots and it also has an important health element. It is important to take care of your mental wellness or you could end up becoming physical unwell too.

You have the right to set boundaries about going to holiday events. Some things might be better not to attend, and others you can go to but there need to be certain ground rules for you and others.

If people are not willing to be understanding about your disorder then you have a right not to comply with those people. You have the right to prioritize your mental health and your physical health.

Take care of yourself and do internal checks in your mind to make sure how you are feeling. There is no need for extra suffering for you. You do not have to let people emotionally manipulate you about anything. ‘

Remember that other adults are responsible for their feelings and reactions. People should accept “no” for an answer when you feel like it is in your best interest to say “no.”

Blessings for a happy and peaceful holiday season. You  have a right to be happy 🙂

Chronic Pain Affects the Holidays

If you suffer from chronic pain, then you know how if affects your social life. Interacting with people is difficult because you cannot do all the same things they can do. You have trouble keeping up with the flow and people do not understand how you feel. 

Having chronic pain can affect the holidays and your ability to participate. Along with chronic pain, also comes chronic fatigue. You can get very tired and need to rest. This can also cause frustration in dealing with family and friends who may not understand that you need to rest. 

You have the right to take care of yourself and you need to keep your boundaries about what you can and cannot do. It is easy to get depressed when you are struggling through the holidays. 

Some people end up self isolating for a variety of reasons. It can become tiresome to keep trying to explain to people about your condition. Some people find that they cannot get people to believe them. Invisible pain is invisible…and thus non-existent to people who cannot empathize. 

You may have become alienated from family and friends who became tired of adapting for you. This can be a very painful experience and the holidays can be very triggering and depressing of you have lost people you once spent time with. 

Then there are some people who hide their pain and try to keep up. You might do this because you do not want to burden people. You might just not talk about your pain because you know the people will not be sympathetic or they will not believe you. 

If you are feeling alone,  or are struggling with chronic pain today, feel free to connect with  us about how you are feeling. You can leave a message in the comments below or you can write a post and leave a link for people to read. 

 

 

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