10. You spend 40 hours of work to afford the gifts, 20 hours shopping for them, 4 hours wrapping them and they are all torn open in less than 15 minutes.
9. Your mother in law will come to visit for longer than usual.
8. She will re-organize your kitchen, in spite of your pleas not to, and you cannot find the things you need to make the holiday dinner.
7. Little children will leave toys that roll, right at the top of the stairs.
6. All those family members that you have “been too busy to get back to” suddenly realize you are off from work.
5. The men monopolize the tv, with football and yell things a lot.
4. Other women comment on your weight, one way or another. (Why do they do this? Who the hell asked them?)
3. When women end up at your house, before you have gotten any make-up on, they say “Oh, Annie you really can pull off that “natural look” can’t you? I just can’t do it myself. But you can manage to pull it off.
2. You have to tell your 16 year old to pull up her shirt to cover her cleavage better, before Grandma gets there for dinner. Then your 12 year walks into dinner late, with her shirt even lower.
1. Aunt Mary eats your hidden stash of emergency chocolate or Uncle Bob drinks all of your hidden stash of wine coolers which you bought specifically to get through the day.