My Top Favorite Self Care Behaviors

Self care is part of self parenting. If you have C-PTSD from childhood abuse, emotional trauma, or neglect, then you were probably not taught to care for yourself.

If your emotional needs were regularly discounted then you were trained to ignore your feelings about being uncomfortable, and taught to hide those feelings. You were not able to get what you needed to make your environment feel safe and comfortable.

If your parents did not make an effort to care for your need to feel safe and comfortable, then you were programmed into discounting your own comfort needs.

Everone has the need to feel comfort, safety and pleasure. It is not selfish to have these needs. It is normal and it is part of the survival instinct.

As an adult who came from a narcissistic pareny or otherwise dysfunctional family, you have to learn how to parent yourself now. …Not in the same way you were parented as a child. But in a nurturing, compassionate way.

Learning thow to care for yourself will allow you to have more energy and patience ti share your love with other people.

Love the loving. Maintain behaviors of self love and then show compassion to people who have the capacity for love and empathy. Do not waste energy trying to change unloving people.

So here is a list of my top 10 favorite self care ideas. Please share your own favorite ideas in the comments below.

1. Wrap up in hot towels from the dryer. You don’t have to be doing wash at the time. Just toss 2 or 3 nice towels in the dryer and dry them on high, for 10 or 15 minutes. Then wrap up in them.

2. Cover yourself in soft blankets. Buy one special blanket that has your favorite texture. Running your hands over pleasing textures can calm the nervous system, similar to petting a soft furred animal.

3. Take a warm shower or bath. You don’t have to wait until you need to bathe. Hot steamy showers have a healing effect and calm the nervous system. Submersing yourself in a bath of warm water will help you be mindful of the present moment.

4. Listen to music that makes you feel empowered. Your favorite music has a direct effect on your nervous system and will generate dopamine and feel-good chemical responses.

5. Petting and playing with your favorite kind of animals. Animals are living spiritual beings. Different people are drawn to different animals for different emotional and spiritual energies that these animals have.

6. Water has healing properties. Drinking clean water…swimming in water… and being near the ocean, stream… or a beautiful sparkling lake…all have spiritually uplifting possibilities.

7. Creating your perfect sleep space. Your sleeping area needs to be a calm haven of nurturing and soothing quality. Alter your lighting with red or other colored light bulbs in a table lamp. Add soothing sounds and textureus. The colors should be ones that are important to you and have an affect on your nervous system.

8. Uplifting words. Read or watch videos by people who inspre you. Your self esteem should feel boosted after spending time with a message that energizes and validates you.

9. Learn to say NO, without feeling obligated to make them agree that your reasons are valid. Being afraid to say NO to people will cause you to be forced into situations that deplete your energy and your self esteem.

10. Create things that are inventive, artistic, authentic or unique. Draw, color, craft, write a poem, sing in your unique voice, write, create a new yoga routine, rearrange items in a unique way, decorate a box, add fringe to your lampshade with a hot glue gun, change the laces in your sneakers to colored ones, make a beaded bracelet, plant some flowers, choose your favorite material at JoAnne fabrics and lay it on your table for a table cloth, buy a bag of buttons at the craft store and sew them onto your tops and jackets, add some coloful garnishes to your dinner plate….explore….create…don’t worry about comparing your creativity to others….be yourself!

 

 

Top 10 or 20 Christmas List

Christmas List

1. Peace of mind
2. Meaningful connection
3. Conversation with a stranger that makes them feel good about themselves
4. Children’s laughter
5. Another step towards enlightenment
6. Financial stability leading towards independence
7. Passion and intimacy
8. New creative projects
9. Better sleep
10. More learning
11. New frienships
12. Another bunny
13. A new flute
14. A wooden rennaissance recorder
15. Art supplies
16. Someplace that feels like home
17. Someone that feels like home
18. More NLP and hypnosis skills and practice
19. Help with the business part of my business
20. Love

Top 10 Things That are Likely to Occur on the Holidays if you Have OCD or Germophobia

10. When you go for holiday dinner, there will be one hand towel in the bathroom for 20 people.

9. You are eating the food that Grandma brought when you see her cough and sneeze, and then wipe it on the back of her hand.

8. You go to the hostess’s fridge to get more milk for your kids and you notice the expiration date was 4 days ago.

7. The host is feeding the dog meat from the table and then he passes you the cranberry sauce.

6. The cashier at the grocery store is coughing like she has bronchitis as she is bagging your groceries. When you offer to bag it yourself, she says “I don’t mind”

5. Someone stuffed their used, snotty tissues back into the tissue box.

4. Your daughter comes and hands you back the hairbrush she always borrows. She pulls a note from her book bag and says “the teacher said to give you this”
The note reads “Please be advised that there have been 6 students at the school sent home due to lice.”

3. When you get to the nursing home to visit your great aunt, there is a big sign that says “Free hand sanitizer available at the desk. We have had a bad virus going through here all week.”

2. While keeping your Great Aunt Sophie company during her dinner, she reaches her fork over and takes food from the other resident’s plate and eats it.

1. When you tell her that it is not the right thing to do, she says “oh I’m sorry. That was rude. Hang on , I’ll get you some too!”