#domestic abuse, #narcissism, #narcissistic personality disorder, adult children of abuse, adult children of alcoholics, adult children of narcissistic abuse', adult children with alcoholic parents, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, avoiding predators, c-ptsd, child abuse, codependence, daughter of narcissist, disfunctional families, disfunctional family, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, emotional maniulation, emotional wounds, healing from abuse, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic abuse, Narcissistic abuse blog, narcissistic abuse syndrome, narcissistic father, narcissistic mothers, narcissistic parents, Narcissistic psychpath, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, narcissistic victim syndrome, Narcissists, people please syndrome, psychological abuse, psychopathic abuse, PTSD from narcissistic abuse, self love, self-esteem, self-help, social anxiety, son of narcissist, teen anxiety, teen derpession, toxic people, toxic personalities

Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents

Low self esteem.

Lack of being able to self generate feelings of self worth.

Fear of doing things that make other people upset, angry or disappointed.

Difficulty prioritizing oneself.

Trouble feeling motivated to get ahead in life. 

These are some of the symptoms of C-PTSD from growing up with a narcissistic parent. Your subconscious brain is programmed very early about your identity, and  your role in the family and your place in the world. 

Associations are deep in the subconscious.

If you do not comply with the other person, there will be consequences to pay. If you cause someone to become upset , you will pay dearly. 

People from more health families learn to look out for themselves. You learned that in order to protect yourself, you have to look out for others. 

People from functional families were taught to be in touch with their own feelings and to love themselves.

 If you were the child of a narcissist, you were taught to defend against the wrath f the narcissist by not expressing your own feelings. Eventually you began to have trouble identifying what you want at all. 

As an adult this wiring in your brain keeps you from taking care of yourself properly.

You still have that hyper-vigilance that there is a threat of danger when someone near you is not getting their way. 

You may have a fear of being abandoned by the people you love, if you consider your own needs to be equal to theirs. The longer you cater to the desires of other people, in a relationship, the more they come to expect that treatment from you. 

People around you can become conditioned to expect you to always agree, always go along with them, and never challenge them. 

One of the many problems of this “people pleaser” behavior is that it attracts narcissists and predators. Narcissists and psychopaths want easy prey or at least a victim that had obvious emotional wounds that they can use to use against you. 

If you have never practiced standing up for yourself, then you have no idea how to do this, and you fear the consequences of doing so. What would happen to your relationships if you said “no” to someone? 

What would happen to your world of you began to prioritize your own needs? What consequences would follow if you believed that your needs and ideas were just as valuable as those of the people in your life?

Well, you can see the people in the world who are not afraid to say “no.” You interact with them all the time. They say “no” to you all the time. These people are not all in the same category. 

There are people who do what they want all the time. They never let people cross their boundaries. In fact, they cross over into your world and stomp all over your rights and invade your boundaries all the time. 

These are the narcissists. You may have a fear of becoming like that. You do not want to become the parent that emotionally abused you. The very person that caused much of your difficulty in getting what you want out of life. 

But there is another category of people who stand up for themselves. These are people that have healthy boundaries but still respect the rights of other people. They do not exploit and manipulate others. 

They express their feelings and let people know what they want. They go after the things they want out of life and they consider their personal dreams, desires and emotions to be a high priority. 

 These are not narcissists. They do not use aggressive, emotionally manipulative communication. They do not covertly try to get emotional reactions from you, in order to exploit and control you. 

There is a line between assertive and aggressive. You are being assertive when you express what you do and do not want.

You are being aggressive when you make it clear that you do not care what the other person wants. You undermine, lie to, and gaslight people to get your way. 

Being assertive and having healthy boundaries does not have to injure other people.

You are not a bad person for looking out for yourself.

You are not a narcissist if you care about your own feelings and needs. You are a normal human being. 

I will write about this topic again in the future. Please leave comments below about a specific question or particular problem that you have.

Give me some ideas about problems of having C-PTSD  (complex PTSD) that you are dealing with. 

I want to hear from adult children of narcissistic parents. Also from anyone that grew up under the heavy cloud of a narcissist in some capacity. It is not always a parent. 

Also, if you feel that your ability to move forward and get momentum in life has been affected by narcissistic abuse, either during childhood or as an adult, please leave me any ideas about questions I can address in a future post. 

 

 

 

#domestic abuse, #narcissistic personality disorder, abuse, abusive relationships, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, emotional healing, mental abuse, mental illness, narcissist, Narcissistic abuse blog, narcissistic abuse syndrome, Narcissistic psychpath, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, narcissistic victim syndrome, Narcissists, Ptsd from abuse, PTSD from narcissistic abuse

Fight or Flight – Narcissistic Abuse / Domestic Abuse

#narcissism, #narcissistic personality disorder, abusive relationships, adult children of narcissistic abuse', aftermath of narcissistic abuse, codependence, dating a psychopath, dealing with a narcissist, Dealing with difficult personalities, dealing with manipulative people, disfunctional family, dysfunctional families, emotional abuse, gentle kindness life coaching, Healing after abuse, manipulative people, mental illness, narcissist boss, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic mothers, narcissistic parents, Narcissistic psychpath, psychopathic abuse, PTSD from narcissistic abuse, self love, self love meme, self-esteem, social anxiety, social anxiety disorder, toxic personalities

Toxic People Spew Poison

People that care about you…and care about others in general, do not use bullying tactics to get their agenda met. They do not intentionally overblow, contort, and reframe events.

Caring people do not have a ridiculously overblown reaction to a little thing that you did “wrong” ( against their personal rules) and then tell all of your friends, family or co-workers that you victimized them.

Someone who wants to be your friend does not refuse to hear your side of a disagreement, shift blame for their over reaction onto you and then put malicious words in your mouth that you never said.

Toxic people pretend to be your friend until they feel threatened by you, have no more use for you, or you refuse to agree with everything they say…and do everything they want.

Narcissists see themselves as more entitled than you to everything , whether you deserve it more or not.

Narcissists want you to admire their greatness and submit to being their minion.

If you stop catering to their ever-changing whims, they will gather their other minions to turn against you….and destroy things you care about…..friendships, your reputation, your job, your marriage, your business, your self esteem, or your ability to move forward with your life.

They won’t change, even if they tell you they will. If they turned against you or discarded you once …they will do it again…and harder.

Once you begin to feel your self esteem go down every time you talk with someone, it is time to back away.

Once you begin to notice that every time you have a conversation with them you have to go back over the entire thing in your head to figure out what the hell just happened….it is time to back away….or run if you can..

Relationships should involve two people…..

Two different sets of opinions that are respected

Two different sets of personal boundaries that are respected

Two sets of ideals and thoughts that are respected

Two different schedules that are respected

Two different ways of feeling about situations that are respected

Two different sets of dreams , skills, talents and aspirations that are supported and respected

Two different individual people that are respected

Get the idea?

Narcissists are poisonous.

Run.

 

 

 

 

 

#domestic abuse, #narcissism, #narcissistic personality disorder, abusive relationships, emotional abuse, mental illness, narcissistic mothers, narcissistic parents, Narcissistic psychpath, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, narcissists and holidays, PTSD from domestic abuse, PTSD from narcissistic abuse, red flags of abuse

Narcissistic Domestic Abuse – Surviving the Holidays

Narcissists hate holidays and love to ruin them for everyone else. If you are living in an abusive situation then it is likely that the abuser makes your holidays miserable. 

Holidays remind them that other people have the ability to emotionally connect with each other. They may also be reminded of abuse from their childhood and this may make them want to take out their anger on you.

There is no way you can  make them feel better by loving them more or being nicer to them. They do not love you , nor do they want your  emotional intimacy.

My sympathy is with you. I know what this is like. Arguments during dinner or driving to where you are going. Questioning and criticizing everything you say and do. No matter how hard you try, you cannot please them. 

If you are living in an abusive relationship your self esteem is being crushed down in order for them to control you better. The holidays are the perfect time for them to trigger emotional flashbacks in you. 

Narcissists make a point of knowing your weaknesses and what buttons to push that will get en emotional reaction from you. 

The best way to deal with this is to act disinterested. Be as neutral as possible and do nothing to recognize their efforts to upset you. Do not show them that they are getting to you. 

Be as polite as possible and do not do anything to make them angry at you.

You do not want them to become violent with you. Even if they have never been physically violent with you before does not mean that alcohol and the holidays will not escalate their verbal violence to physical violence.

Be emotionally detached from them as best as possible and act neutral when they do try to provoke you. Try to limit the alcohol in the house as much as you can without making them angry. 

Keep yourself from being under the influence of alcohol or anything else because this will weaken your cognitive abilities and your ability to think on your feet. 

Safety is always first and then you have to protect your psychological health. Abusers can do great damage to your mental health including causing depression, anxiety and PTSD. If you feel like you are deteriorating in this way, then it is the intention of your abuser. 

Keep yourself safe on the holidays and try to find ways to build your self esteem Escaping from an abuser is difficult and requires self love and self confidence, which is one of the reasons that your abuser attacks these very things about you. 

For more support and help visit my domestic abuse blog HERE

Also you can watch m videos on YouTube about narcissists, narcissistic abuse and domestic abuse...HERE

#domestic abuse, anxiety, chronic illness, chronic pain, Chronic pain and depression, Chronic pain and mental illness, depression, holiday anxiety, Holiday depression, inspiration, invisible illness, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, mental illness blog, narcissistic abuse, post traumatic stress disorder, psychopathic abuse, ptsd, Ptsd from abuse, PTSD from narcissistic abuse

Thanksgiving Meet-up on Gentlekindness Blog

turkey)

On Thursday  you are invited to connect with all of us here. Thanksgiving is the first of the holiday season and can trigger depression and anxiety in many people. Others are feeling lonely during the holidays.

If you are feeling alone or just want to connect, you can come here on Thanksgiving. I will create posts during the day that you can leave comments and also leave links to your own posts.

If you want to contribute a Guest Post , A Poem, or a Letter , feel free to do so. If you want me to post something for you, you can contact me at michelemimimish@gmail.com

If you have posts that you want to post the links to, you will see posts you can put them in the comments section of.

Artwork, poetry , details of what you are doing or how you are feeling are all welcome. Everyone is encouraged  to leave kind, thoughtful comments on anything that others leave.

 

anxiety, anxiety disorder, depression, empowerment, invisible illness, mental health disorders, mental illness, mental illness awareness, mental illness blog, narcissistic abuse, PTSD from domestic abuse, PTSD from narcissistic abuse, stigma about mental illness, suicide, teen anxiety, teen derpession, toxic people

You are Enough – You Have Enough Within You

good enough

abusive relationships, c-ptsd, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, empowerment, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic abuse, psychopath, psychopathic abuse, ptsd, PTSD from domestic abuse, PTSD from narcissistic abuse

New YouTube Videos Just Uploaded

c-ptsd, codepndence, dealing with manipulative people, emotional abuse, mental abuse, mental health, people pleaser syndrome, PTSD from narcissistic abuse

Coaching for Victims of Narcissistic Psychopath Abuse

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gentlekindnesscoaching.com