Do We Think too Much ?

So you are lying in bed, ruminating over something that you have gone over again and again.

Is there something in your subconscious that makes you think you will solve it or come up with a whole new way of looking at it?

Do we actually think that going over it for the 99th time will lead to some closure on it? Or that the 100th time is the charm?

I don’t know, and I end up doing it , time and time again. But lately I am thinking that the thinking itself might be counterproductive sometimes.

I heard Ajahn Brahm (a Buddhist monk) say that something is only a problem if it can be solved. You know.  ..like a math problem that you can come up with a solution for.

So, if it isn’t something that you can come up with a solution for, then it’s not a problem, by the definition of the word.

So why do we spend our precious time, that could be put to better use (like sleeping) trying to solve the unsolveable?  Are we looking for a way to change the nature of that situation or event,  into a solveable situation ?

If something is not a problem, then what it is?

It’s just the way something is.

It is how things are, even if we don’t like it.

It’s an unfortunate set of circumstances.

It’s something bad that happened

It’s somebody else being who they are, whether we like it or not.

Some things we have no control over, and other things we wish we had control over.

We can’t change other people, or the nature of another person. We can’t change what another person wants, or how they behave.

We can’t change the past, including things we wish we hadn’t done, and things we wish someone else hadn’t done to us.

There are plenty of things that we have no control over, and cannot change. Yet, we go over these things, trying to generate better feelings about them, by trying to find ways to control them.

Then, there is that urge to figure out other people.

Why did they say that?

Why would they do that to me?

What did I ever do to them?

How can they behave that way, or think that way?

Again ….things we have no say in.

We desire to make reality fit into our own paradym. We want things to make some kind of sense and to have an explanation we can live with.

We want other people to behave in a logical manner. We want other people to behave in an ethical manner and valued manner.

That could be why we go over and over the same things, and let the same thoughts play out in a loop, over abd over again.

I think that we need to look at it and ask ourselves, “Can I solve this? Is there a reasonable possibility of a solution?

Or is this a non – problem, and rather a difficulty that just exists with no action needed from me?”

If you have gone over and over it, and no solution you can think of will actually work, then it might need to be tossed into the non – problem pile. And we can move on to actual problems that we have the power to fix and solve…..or better yet we can simply let it go, and sleep.

Ask yourself  “what is more productive?”

Is it to keep repeating this loop of thoughts that I have repeated 100 times? Or to assign this particular loop to its proper box on our mental shelf ?

Then we can use the time in a way that supports us better overall.

After all ww are somewhat logical beings, even though emotion tends to drive our behavior, including our thinking behavior. 

At the very least, we can decide that the thing isn’t going to go anyplace , if we do something more productive or more self supportive right now.

So, since it’s not going to go anywhere, and we can’t come up with any new thoughts about it, what harm will happen if we just set it on that shelf?

Goodnight all ….and pleasant dreams.

Annie ⚘

 

Self Soothing ; Coping with Anxiety and Depression

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.Self soothing and having a variety of coping methods for anxiety is an important part of surviving life in this world. Some children are guided to learn these things, while others are not. If you grew up with parents that were neglectful or abusive, then you most likely grew up with no self soothing skills. 

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Everyone has anxiety and stress to deal with, but some people end up with anxiety disorders that overpower their lives, and their ability to interact with others in stressful environments.

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If you never learned coping skills for anxiety growing up, then you can still find methods that will work for you. 

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If you suffer from depression and anxiety, then you need to be able to self sooth. You need to find special methods that work for you. Everyone is unique and not all coping skills work for all people.

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It does not matter what your go-to methods are, or how silly or childish they might seem to someone else. You can buy yourself a special stuffed animal and a soft blanket if those things are soothing to you. 

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Sometimes it is the inner child that needs soothing, in which case doing the same things that would sooth a small child might be just the thing you need to do. I don’t mean carrying around a stuffed bunny rabbit with you out in public, but in your own home you can do what you want without worrying about outside judgement.

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If you are living with people who would judge you, then you probably are getting some of your anxiety from living with those people and that might be an issue you will need to deal with at some point. 

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If you live alone, or at least sleep in your own room, then your self soothing and comforting activities can be ones that made you feel safe as a child. If you grew up in environments where you often felt fearful, then that inner child is still looking for a safe place to be. You may be triggered by things that remind you of your fears from childhood.

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Other self soothing activities for you might be coloring in a coloring book, reading a favorite story from a children’s story book, or an adult story book. You can carry items with you during the day that you find comforting. It is easy to keep small things in your purse or in your car. 

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Indoor or outdoor places can be soothing environments also.

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If you feel relaxed and safe at the park, by a lake, at the beach, or someplace in nature, then you can take yourself for a visit to a place that makes you feel connected with nature. You do not have to feel guilty for taking time out for yourself, even though you may have been conditioned to feel that way. 

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You might feel safe and comfortable someplace like a book store, a library, a bowling alley, a movie theater or a museum. Whatever makes you feel more able to deal with your anxiety is a good place to go. There is no reason you cannot take some time out of your day for yourself. It does not have to be expensive or cost anything at all. 

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Yoga and meditation are great ways to center yourself also. You can take a yoga class or do yoga at home. There are meet-ups you can find in your area by searching a site like meetup.com.

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Being with people of similar interests might be helpful for you, and the exercise is very good for regulating the nervous system. There are small groups that meet for meditation and spiritual activities at churches and other places that people rent for the purposes of getting together. 

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If you enjoy animals more that people. then there are places where you can be around animals. Even walking around Pet Smart for a half hour can be a great break from the anxiety of the day. There are animal shelters that would be glad to have visitors to help with the animals or to volunteer on a regular basis. 

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Music is helpful for many people in reducing anxiety and increasing dopamine, as well as reducing cortisol.

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The levels of these chemicals in your body alter the way you feel, your mood and your anxiety level. Anything that reduces cortisol and raises dopamine and the feel-good chemicals is probably good for you. 

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You can find what works best for you with a little trial and error. If you are not sure about something but you want to try it, go ahead and see how it works for you. Once you begin to explore different kinds of activities you may find that you discover new ones that you would not have otherwise thought of. 

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If you are introverted then you will probably be most soothed by doing things alone, or in small groups of like-minded people, or people with similar interest and values. If you are extroverted then you might find the most relaxation with larger group activities. But you can vary your coping activities between introverted and extroverted ones. 

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It might help you to take a free Meyers Briggs test online. You can find one if you search google, or I can give you a link. If you learn more about your own personality type, it can help you to discover the kinds of things that trigger your anxiety . You may find validation for why certain things make you feel depressed. 

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Another thing you could consider is what you are taking into your body.

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The food and drink that you bring into your physical body can have a strong effect on your mood and will power. Sometimes a small adjustment in the kinds of food you eat, or adding a vitamin that you may be deficient it, can make a marked difference in your mood. 

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I have offered you some ideas, but you can discover many more. Be creative and open minded. Sometimes just the simple act of trying new routines and spending 20 minutes doing something that you don’t usually allow yourself to do, can have am effect on your nervous system. 

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The nervous system can become disregulated from stress, from abuse, and from having PTSD from a past trauma. You may be living in the present physically, but emotionally connected to things that happened in your past. Sometimes hypnosis, inner child work, and compassionate dialogue with a trained therapist or life coach can be helpful. 

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Make sure you choose any professional help with care, and don’t feel that you are stuck with someone that is not serving your purposes, or is not a great match for you.

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You can ask the person questions about what they specialize in and why. Someone who is going to be talking with you about a abusive past for example, needs to specialize in that area or they will have difficulty really understanding what your responses are about. 

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I hope this finds you all well, and I wish you healing and empowerment. You are a special individual. You are unique. You have just as much of a right to have a meaningful and empowering life as anyone else does. 

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Namaste,

Annie – gentlekindness coaching web site

http://www.gentlekindnesscoaching.com/

visit my youtube channel HERE

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJw1QUDzb59PbWTcnGjGJ7g/videos

Be What You Imagine You Could Be

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As you are walking along your path, you can be who you are at any time, even as you discover new things about your true self. You are not consigned to have to be imprisoned by your past, or the story of your life. It does not have to define you. 

Just think of the story as events that happen to have occurred, and things you have been in the midst of at various times. The choices you made in different circumstances were based on your programming and the beliefs you were holding in your subconscious at the time. 

Many of the beliefs you hold in your subconscious brain, are things that were programmed in by other people you have interacted with, by your family of origin, and by society. Any toxic shame you are carrying was brainwashed into you. Self doubt and ;earned helplessness are other things that come from believing that “you are your story.”

You are not your conditioned thoughts. You are not your story. You are not your past. 

You are infinitely more that anything that has happened to you, and anything you have ever done. You are expansive and go beyond this illusion that you have been told is the only reality that matters. 

There is more to reality than you see. There is more to you than other people tell you. Your feelings and intuition can guide you. You must re-train yourself to feel your feelings without self judgement. Your feelings are not your enemy, and they never mean that there is something wrong with you. 

The more you shove down your true feelings and your true thoughts, the more the illusion draws you in. Who says that your inner thoughts about how your reality should be are wrong, or that they have to be approved by society?

What visions and dreams would you have, if you did not fear your own judgement of yourself? What possibilities are there that you tend to shut down, because you fear the judgement of others? What things have you denied in yourself,  because someone else told you there was something wrong with it? 

You are in this life to explore the dreams and possibilities. You can expand beyond the role you are playing.

This pattern of feeling obligated to repeat the same kinds of behaviors day after day is like a self imposed prison. You can be who you are, even if that does not match what people expect from you.

As a child you had imagination and played out roles and situations in a way that allowed you to explore your ideas and your feelings. Society and the people in your life may have crushed your imagination down, and discounted it as childishness. 

Imagination is one of your greatest gifts. It allows you to explore possibilities and come up with creative solutions for problems. Imagination can take you outside of the box you have been restricted to and to mentally explore your own expansion.

Dream and allow your visions to be free. Imagine and create as you desire. Be who you dream of being. Follow your passions and part the veil that has been limiting your potential to be your true amazing self.

Your Unconscious Mind and Hypnosis

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Despite the way it may seem to you, most people do not make decisions based on rational arguments and logic from the conscious brain. 

You make decisions that are driven by the beliefs and emotions of the subconscious parts of the brain. 

The limbic system is the emotional brain.  It is one of the three brains described by the Triune Brain Theory, developed by Paul MacLean. This theory was conceived of by research and experience in order to develop a model based on the study of evolutionary development of the human brain. Over time the different parts of the brain developed as a natural evolution in response to the survival needs of humans. 

According to this theory, the three brains are as follows:

The Reptilian Brain is the primal brain. It was the first part of the brain that developed. The early people used this brain for protection, survival and procreation of the species. The drives from this part of the brain are very strong, and they are at the root of many decisions to make on a daily basis. 

This reptilian part of your brain scans for danger and seeks safety and also pleasure. It encourages you away from pain or any threats in your environment. This part of the brain is very active in people with PTSD from trauma. It also gives you sexual drives and is at the root of impulses.

The Limbic System is the second part of the brain that was developed. The limbic system contains the emotions and deals with behavior in response to emotions. It also processes memories and associations you have between experiences and feelings. This part of the brain consists of the  hippocampus, the amygdala, and the hypothalamus.

If you have ever made a decision that did not seem rational to you, and you can’t figure out why you did it, then it may have been driven by a combination of the reptilian brain and the emotions from the limbic system.

The conscious brain is made of two hemispheres and it is called the  hippocampus, the Neocortex. 

These hemispheres have been responsible for the development of human language, abstract thought, imagination, and consciousness. The neocortex is flexible and has almost infinite learning capabilities

The Brain Box – Triune Brain Theory

 

Learning ways to access and understand what is happening in your subconscious brain, is a valuable tool to understanding your emotions and behaviors. Hypnosis is one tool that can help you to access your subconscious and heal certain emotional wounds that you may be carrying.

Old emotional wounds can affect your feelings and behavior in ways that may no longer be supporting you. 

There are a variety if things that can be done while under various levels of hypnosis. If you are working with an ethical hypnotherapist, you will have control over any and all alterations in the neural pathways of your brain. You can create positive changes that will allow you to live your life in ways that allow you to experience things in that way that you would like to.

In addition to accessing and healing old emotional wounds, you can identify any false beliefs that you may be holding in your subconscious about yourself. Many of our perceptions were programmed into us while we were young. Some of these beliefs may be untrue and have a negative effect on our emotions and ability to achieve the things we want. 

If you are interested in finding out more about how hypnotherapy can benefit you…

If you have negative self talk that you know is holding you back from things you know you can do….

If you are curious about the possibilities of realizing ways you can create amazing changes in the way you frame your reality…

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Then please visit my new web site GentleAwakening.com and send me  a contact message. I will respond yo you via email, and talk with you more about what hypnotherapy can do for you. Or you can reach me by email at michelemimimish@gmail.com

And we can schedule a 15 dollar discounted first time session, so you can try it out and discover what you can realize about yourself that you didn’t even know that you knew, because that information has been driving your unconscious brain, and your conscious brain was not aware of it.

 

Annie Mimi Hall YouTube channel 

Gentlekindness Facebook Page 

 

 

 

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Guided Meditation for Anxiety

Empowerment is Within You Right Now !

Clearing Toxic Energy and Negative Thoughts About Yourself

Depression and Connection

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Depression affects many people, but the people that suffer from depression have trouble talking to anyone about it. People that do not have depression, and have never suffered from it, do not usually understand.

This has the effect of isolating the people that do suffer from depression. The loneliness and isolation just make the depression worse and it can feel hopeless to the person.

Close relationships are important. People need to feel supported and accepted. If you feel that you have to hide your depression, then those relationships can feel false or plastic.

It is easy for you to get stuck in repeating circles of thoughts and there is no one to tell them to. Fears can become bigger and feel more ominous as they repeat and circle around in your head.

Sadness needs a release of some sort. It is part of the human condition to grieve and feel sad about things. The normal process of feeling sadness or grief has a progressive element to it.

Once those emotions and thoughts are caught in a never-ending circle, it can feel hopeless, like there is no way out.

Just being able to talk about those thoughts with another compassionate person can help to lift the burden. Even if you have to find someone in the blogging world, or another place online to talk to.

Therapists can help in certain ways, but it is not quite the same as being supported and understood by another person who cares about your well being.

You may have to proactively reach out for someone to talk to. Don’t give up just because you are met with roadblocks along your path. There may be someone waiting just on the other side of the roadblock.

There are so many people in the world. Even though it may feel like no one can understand you…there are some people that can understand.

When you feel like self isolating and giving up, just rest up and then try again. Try different places to meet people and different places to connect with people online.

You matter. There are other people that will care and not minimize your feelings of depression.

Depression is serious. Your emotional and mental health are very important. You have  value as a human being and your experiences do matter.

Sometimes reaching out to someone else who is suffering can also help you. There is value is connecting with someone who has had similar feelings and experiences inside of their own mind.

If you feel like you don’t matter and that there is no reason for anyone to care…those thoughts  are just coming from conditioning that you have experienced.

We are not born feeling worthless or inadequate. Childhood programming and societal brainwashing puts those programs into your head.

You do matter. Realize that you have just as much of a right to be loved and cared for as anyone else does. Some people just ended up in different circumstances.

Namaste,

Annie

Video for Depression and Anxiety