Chronic Pain and Spiritual Health

Living with chronic pain is difficult emotionally and mentally.

Every aspect of your life is affected and you have to adapt each and every day based on the level of pain. It is difficult for other people to understand. 

Sometimes you have to cancel plans or leave places early. You may need help doing things or walking up the stairs. Fatigue haunts you like a malicious ghost that no one can see but you. It is an invisible illness that can be cruel and make you feel lonely. 

You know that other people have chronic pain also, but you still feel like you are the only one much of the time.

Days spent struggling to do the simplest tasks drain you physically and emotionally. No one can see your pain and it is hard to find any validation for what you are going through. 

Your social circle may have dwindled down to the last few who are willing to be understanding. Some of you are completely isolated from friends and even family has moved on without you. People get tired of hearing someone complain about their invisible illness. 

Some people think you are just trying to get attention.

This is backwards because chronic pain tends to have to opposite effect of getting attention. Many people do not realize this. 

Isolation has its own negative effects on your psychological state. Depression falls down over you like a dark cloud. There are days when you just stay in bed because the pain is too great….both emotionally and physically.

Chronic pain can be caused by all kinds of things.

Arthritis, fibromyalgia, spinal problems, diseases, and chronic illnesses. Pain can be mostly localized to certain parts of the body, or change locations from day to day. The mental pain is always a part of living with chronic pain….possible the worst part. 

Finding connection with other people can be difficult, but it is important for you not to feel alone. Feeling isolated and alienated for a continues period of time will wear on you and drain you. Your soul needs to heal and you need to feel special. 

Old emotional wounds can be triggered by depression and anxiety.

Feeling alone with pain can bring up emotional flashbacks from your past. Many people with chronic pain have some kind of ghosts from their past that haunt them. The feeling of being invalidated may be something you also felt in your childhood. 

The inner child that was not heard is now left alone and invalidated again.

Being alone with the emotional wounds feels like torment. Since you feel that people are already tired of hearing you express your feeling about your physical pain, you may be hesitant to talk about old emotional wounds with anyone. 

You struggle to survive each day, and you may push those emotional wounds deep down inside you. The pain will get worse from doing this, but it is hard to find any other way to survive.

Pain gets worse with depression, and depression gets worse with pain. 

You are more than your chronic pain condition.

You are not your body and you are not your thoughts. You are so much more than those things. The world has a way of confusing us about who we really are. 

You may not feel like it, because your life feels like it revolves around it. You had other plans for your life than living this way.

The unfairness of this can make you feel hopeless and question your purpose for living. You feel limited in the amount of things you can do for others. 

But you are worth as much as everyone else. It is the soul and spirit of you that has innate value.

Your value is not based of what you can or cannot do. The uniqueness of your mind, heart are limitless.

We can be broken and bruised, but we are resilient. Your resilience comes from your higher self… the self that does not live in the body and is not limited to the physical self.

Love is an unstoppable force of energy that exists all around you. You are surrounded by invisible energies that are yours to draw from Self love is an important step to emotional and mental healing. 

Invisible Illness and Isolation

Invisible suffering..Invisible illness…Invisible pain…Chronic illness….Mental suffering…Domestic abuse…Mental abuse..Narcissistic Victim Abuse Syndrome…PTSD…Chronic Pain…

These are all real illnesses and disorders, that other people cannot see. It can be hard for other people to understand what it is like for you. The lack of people supporting  you…or even believing you …causes re-traumatization.

There is the initial trauma of the illness, pain, or abuse and then there is a whole new kind of painful suffering caused by what happens next.

People do not see your suffering and so..

…some people do not believe you at all..

…they do not believe that it is that bad..

…they think you can just “shake it off”…

…they do not believe that you cannot do the things that they can easily do.

…they think you are lazy…

…they think you are a big baby…

..they  think you should have gotten better by now..

…they forget that you “still have” that invisible illness…

…they get tired of hearing the same things…

..they lose patience with you..

…you do not want to tell people..

…you lose friends…

..You self isolate…

Yes, that is often what ends up happening. Self isolating can be a relief from dealing with interactions with people. Over time the isolation can cause worse depression. 

The only people who really understand are people who have been through it or are going through it. 

The isolating process can begin with other people giving up on you, getting tired of you, or not wanting to listen to you anymore. You lose one ot two friends and family members. The you are afraid to lose the rest of them. 

You do not actively go out and seek new people because you fear the pain of rejection from them. “Why should you put yourself through this again”….is what your brain is saying.

The isolating can begin with ourselves, because it is too much effort or too painful to interact with other people, especially if they do not believe or understand what we are going through.

The retraumatization can be severe. When people just simply do not believe you or think you are exaggerating, that is one of the worst things you can go through.

Then, of course,  there are people who are predators, and they prey on the weak ones, who are desperate for understanding and companionship. If you have been set up and abused, because of your invisible condition, then it is very difficult to trust people again…or to trust your own judgement of who is safe and who is not.

We can also be retraumatized by bad therapists, counselors and insensitive doctors and nurses. I have heard horror stories of what people have gone through at treatment facilities, rehab facilities and emergency rooms. I have also experienced insensitive therapists and healthcare workers.

So where does this leave us? In pain…suffering…in need of human compassion…and isolated…

Some people physically isolate themselves in their homes. Other people build walls up around themselves and self isolate by disconnecting from other humans emotionally.

We can be around people all day long, yet be completely alone.

Some people cannot leave their house or apartment.

Other people just leave the house to go to work, and do necessary errands, and then self isolate themselves in their house, the rest of the time. This would be me…

When you have reached your limit of being traumatized and re-traumatized, then your mammalian instinct of self protection is going to kick in. Your brain wants to protect itself from any more trauma and abuse.

Sometimes the world appears to be a dark and dangerous place.   Interact with people is just a risk of being injured, when you are suffering from an invisible enemy.

No one can see your enemy and therefore it feels like you are fighting alone.

You energy is going into fighting against your invisible illness, mental illness, or trauma from abuse. You do not have a whole lot of energy left for reaching out to people who might end up hurting you. You do not have a lot of energy to explain and re-explain to people about your invisible illness.

You do not have energy to make new friends, knowing that at some point you have to explain to them about your invisible enemy. There is no guarantee they will understand you or stick around once they find out, anyway.

Your energy is focused on survival. Your little bit of energy that is left, is focused on just getting through one day at a time. Relationships take time and energy and after a while it can seem like there simply is not enough energy to go around.

I do not have any simple answer for this problem. I wanted to at least validate the people who are nodding their heads up and down, as they are reading this.

You are not alone, in being alone. You may be alone in your house at this moment, feeling isolated and different than everyone else. But there are other people who feel the same way.

The isolating is a normal reaction to being traumatized, suffering mental wounds and suffering pain of any kind. It is an instinct to survive be separating from potential danger.

It is also an instinct to preserve whatever energy is left, in order to use to heal and survive.

If there is any approach to this problem that could work, it would lie in the matter of balance. We have to constantly balance the various aspects of our lives. Find new methodologies for healing and for dealing with stress.

We cannot have the same amount of energy every day. Some days we feel better than other days.

On our better days, we can try to reach out a little bit. Go somewhere with people or call someone on the phone. Text someone or send and email. Whatever is in your comfort zone for that particular day.

There will be days when interacting with others is impossible. But some days we might be able to reach out, just a little bit.

Do what you can and take advantage of any days that are kind of good. If you cannot go out, then try to find people online to connect with.

Who you should reach out to and talk to, depends on what is good for you. Some of you have friends that you can all on the phone. Some people would be able to go out to a place where there are strangers and interact a little bit with them.

Another way to get some compassionate human interaction, is to do some volunteer work. Nursing homes will often let you come and visit.

You may have to set things up, to be a volunteer ahead of time. The people you visit at places like this, will not judge you in the same ways that you are afraid of your friends or family judging you.

Going out of the house depends on your condition. Some people are completely housebound. Reaching out to those people can be a way of helping yourself too. 

Animals are also great. Pets are good companions. As you know, if you read my blog, I get great joy and comfort from my bunny. I also like to go to places with a animals.  There is a place called Sun High Orchard, near my house. They have bunnies and sheep that you can pet and feed.

Sometimes you can go to speciality stores where the people will talk with you. Some places like that would be: comic book stores, craft stores, tattoo parlors, hobby shops and book stores. Any place where people gather, that have a similar interest.

It is okay to self isolate to a point.  Sometimes we need to self isolate for a while to heal our brains. But if the isolation is becoming a problem for you, then do a little bit of interacting on the good days and just rest in bed on the harder days. Balance is the key to most problems in life.

We are supportive of each other here and WordPress has been a blessing for me. I love hearing from the people that follow my blog and I consider the interactions meaningful.

Blessings to all,

Annie

Nothing but the Dark…

Suffering from a painful deteriorating illness and expressing the darkness with words of a wonderful writer.

 

aChronicPainLife...

I used to love the feeling you get when waking up from your worst nightmare – that moment  when you realise you’ve left the extreem anxiety and hopelessness behind and your eyes have come to a halt – when you can curl up all snug amongst the quilts and go back to sleep, knowing that when you wake everything will be okay.

Well, I’ve resounded myself to the fact this is a feeling I will never have again! The reality I’m in has become worse than any nightmare I’ve ever had and all hope is gone for making a recovery.  I’m tired of of it all. Each day is becoming more and more of a struggle and I’m not sure I have the strength to live a full life like this – one where darkness is my home and the view from the other side gets more appealing by the…

View original post 206 more words

Invisible Illness

Depression, Loneliness and Invisible Illness

Depression and lonliness can exist together, but they are not exactly the same thing.

Lonliness is something experienced by all people at some point but it is not always accompanied by depression.

Usually lonliness is thought of as occurring in solitude but this is not always true either.

Some people experience lonliness in combination homesickness , when they are away from familiar people and surroundings. They can feel this even when there are people around.

Other people feel like they do not fit in and this leads to lonliness with people around. Some people feel more lonely around groups of people than they do when they are by themselves.

There are other circumstances where people experience lonliness with other people around. Some of these circumstances tend to cause a co-existing condition of depression and lonliness.

People with invisible illnesses like chronic pain, chronic illness, and mental illness often feel both lonliness and depression. There is a feeling of disconnection from others when someone cannot find anyone that can relate to what they are going through.

Toxic loneliness is something that happens to people that cannot tolerate being alone or cannot tolerate bring without an intimate partner.

Ross Rosenberg coined the term “pathological loneliness” when he was doing research with his clients that suffered from co-dependence.

He discovered that one of the reasons so many people go back into abusive relationships is the pathological loneliness.

Both the terms toxic loneliness and pathological loneliness refer to this intolerable pain associated with being alone.

Usually the abusive partner lures the victim back in with false promises that things will be different. The victim who is suffering from such severe emotional / mental distress from being alone takes their chances and goes back.

In the mind of the victim, the pathological loneliness and the depression that goes along with it, is more painful than the abuse was.

People with codependent personalities usually developed pathological lonliness as children from neglect and abuse.

Depression can also develope out of childhood abuse. This can be any type of abuse, including emotional and psychological abuse. People that were abused as children often have complex post traumatic stress disorder as adults.

C-PTSD can involve depression, anxiety and sometimes pathological loneliness. There are often internal mental tapes that play inside their head that repeat negative things.

Being alone can make the internal dialogue louder. Thoughts of worthlessness, shame and failure play over and over. These tapes are implanted in the subconscious during childhood by others.

Many people with C-PTSD do not realize that they have actual trauma that is the same as PTSD which was caused at multiple ages and multiple circumstances.

Many people who have mental illness like depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder had chaotic, traumatic, abusive or emotionally devaluing chilhoods.

People with depression have organic differences in their brains which can be seen with brain scans like an MRI. Certain parts of the brain that are supposed to light up to show activity, do not light up.

Depression can also co-exist with anxiety disorders. The sensations of imminent threat that occur with PTSD and CPTSD, can be felt alongside of depression and loneliness.

Sometimes it can be hard to differentiate one feeling from another. It can be helpful to people to be able to identify what sensations they are feeling.

Sometimes looking at the feelings and figuring out what is based on current circumstances and what is from early programming can help.

People with disorders of depression often feel lonely because they are unable to find people to understand their illness. Being disbelieved and invalidated can open up old wounds from childhood.

Some people are unaware that they had any abuse or emotional trauma because it happened at a very young age. The brain stores memories differently before the age of 5.

Conditions like depression and toxic loneliness are no less painful than other illnesses. Unfortunately many people are not empathetic about invisible illnesses.

Your Innate Self Worth and Value

Ulcerative Colitis, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Juicing / PTSD and Bowel Disorders

For ulcerative colitis or irritable bowel syndrome, juicing with a juicer is a good method for getting nutrition without irritating any flare ups. If you are in the middle of a flare up it is recommended to go down to liquids for a few days and then soft foods, until the flare up is able to heal.

The body wants to heal itself and it can do this better when the problem is not being irritated by wrong foods.

Here are some recipes for the juicer that contain green veggies. This is a great way to get your vitamins without eating solid foods.

30 Green Juice Recipes

This is great video that talks about diet and home treatment for flare ups of ulcerative colitis. I liked this guy. He was very down to earth and knowledgeable. 

You can use apples to sweeten your juice because green juice does not always taste the way you might like. You can use any color of apples. The following recipe is from All Recipes.com and it calls for green apples.

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/230642/healthy-green-juice/

Basically this recipe calls for green apples cut in halves, 4 celery stalks , 6 leaves of kale, half a pealed lemon, 1 inch of fresh ginger and a cucumber. Put them through your juicer and then add extra apple if you need more sweetness.

I have been struggling with colitis for several months now. I was hospitalized once and I have taken antibiotics for infections a few times. It is a very frustrating disease that can cause fatigue and weakness in the body and even joint pain. 

If you are having unexplained abdominal pain, changes in bowel habits, and pain in your joints resembling arthritis pain, you might have colitis. Arthritis and colitis often go hand in hand. This is the case with me. I also have moderate to severe arthritis, depending on which joint we are talking about. Some places it is more severe to the point of extreme pain.

Your general health is important and it affects your mental health. There is no way to separate the body and the mind. Any sickness in the mind will cause physical symptoms. Any sickness in the body will cause mental / emotional symptoms. 

If you have PTSD or C-PTSD then you are prone to develop problems with the bowels. Anxiety disorders if any kind also can cause bowel disease and other problems. If you are recovering from narcissistic abuse or domestic abuse you are prone to develop problems with your bowels. 

PTSD can crash your immune system. There are many physical problems, diseases and infections which can occur when your immune system is compromised by PTSD and trauma.

Depression and anxiety also lower your immune system and make you susceptible to disease and illnesses including ulcerative colitis.

Financial problems cause anxiety and depression, so you could say that financial stress can also cause infection and disease. Financial problems often follow someone after they get out of an abusive relationship. So then you are particularly prone to a crash of your immune system because you have the financial stress along with PTSD from the trauma.

I wish you all good health and peace of mind,

Annie

Chronic Pain, Depression, Isolation and Anxiety Disorder

Today I had a flare up of my chronic pain. Flare up days are not all the same. The pain is not always in the same location or in the same body part.

Most people with chronic pain have several locations where pain occurs.They live with moderate to high levels of pain on a daily basis, even when trying to sleep or trying to get out of bed in the morning.

Living with moderate to severe pain on a daily basis for years and years is truly exhausting. When we say we have to sit or lie down to rest, we really have to. There has to be a break in the level of the pain or we simply cannot go on.

My particular distress today was in the herniated disc in my cervical spine. I have gone to doctors, orthopedic specialists, pain management specialists and physical therapy for this herniated disc.

There are also a couple of other discs in the same area that are “bulging” discs, which is supposed to be one step lower or less bad than a ” slipped” or “herniated” disc.

When the discs slide into certain places they press directly onto nerves, sending pain throughout the neck which radiates up into my jaw and then my head. A moderate to severe headache ensues.

Today I felt pain in my jaw. I also have what they call TMJ in that particular place…left side..right at the place where the bone that hold the upper teeth and the bone that holds the lower teeth meet.

The TMJ usually does not bother my much unless I open my mouth too wide and then it makes a loud popping sound and hurts some. But when the herniated disc acts up and pinches the nerves then the pain radiates upwards and inflames that place where the TMJ is.

Chronic pain can cause depression, grief and anxiety in people. It is often very difficult to keep up with other people and they do not understand or do not believe you that the pain could be that bad. They just say . oh we all have aches and pains. I have to deal with mine so you should just deal with yours”

People do not understand about chronic pain conditions. On a good day for us we have pain that is more than other people’s worst day of aches and pains.

On a bad day the pain can become excrutiating and we feel like we are in a battle with our own bodies that we did not start.

It feels like our own body is destroying our quality of life. We become like aliens trying to survive in a world of humans who are not sympathetic to our pain. They cannot empathize because they have no way to relate to it.

People think that we are lazy, disagreeable and being babies with a low tolerance for pain.

Now, here is thing. Most people with chronic pain did not always have it. We have developed conditions inside of the body that really cause pain that is so bad we cannot function the way we used to.

We remember what it is like to have regular ” aches and pains” like regular people have. We know what they are referring to when people say ” we all have aches and pains so just deal with it and keep up with us”.

We remember just having ” regular” aches and pains and that is not what this is.

Chronic pain rules your daily life. It can be so severe that climbing steps, even with my cane causes extreme pain in my knees….not just a little pain. Going up and down steps is torturous to me because of the arthritic degeneration in the bones and disintigration of the cartilage that is supposed to cushion between the bones grinding togethet on the nerves.

People with chronic pain often become isolated. Friends and family tire of you telling them that you cannot go with them to do certain kinds of activities that you once used to be able to do with them. They get tired of the ups and downs;  good and bad days.

They begin to feel that you are using your supposed ” pain disorder” to get your way and to control what activities you do.

Let me tell you this…People with chronic pain wish we could still do those activities. We wish we could walk around the mall, go to carnivals and yard sales and be able to walk around for two hours. But our bodies won’t allow us too.

We are not wanting to never be able to do anything fun. That does not make any sense.

We are not happy to “get out of”  doing work. We really wish that we could still do those things.

We have trouble cleaning our house. We have trouble getting around in the grocery store and more trouble bringing those groceries inside from the car. It takes me a good 45 minutes to carry 2 bags at a time up two flights of steps to my apartment, as I take two or three steps at a time and have to stop in places on the way up.

Who would want to lose their ability to climb stairs, to tolerate driving for very long even as a passenger, to have trouble exercising and to have to say “no”to social invitations?

We hate having our pain disorder. It may be invisible but it is very real to us.

So this is how people with chronic pain often develop mental illnesses like anxiety and depression. We lose friends and have trouble going out to meet new people.

Family members write us off because they do not want to be around someone who complains about pain. They have no way to know what level of pain we have.

Isolation often comes as a result of the difficulty in going out, driving, sitting for too long, standing, and a variety of other physical actions that are required to have a “normal” day, like other people do.

It is frustrating, depressing, anxiety provoking, sad, exhausting, and causes feelings of hopelessness as well as worthlessness. Sometimes we think “what good are we to anyone?”

So please be kind to any loved one that has a chronic pain condition. They need your support and validation that they are still someone that is worth spending time with.

They are worth a little extra effort on your part to come to visit them, rather than insisting they come to visit you. They are worth minor adjustments in your plans.

No one intentionally stops doing all the activities that they once loved to do. No one intentionally cuts their quality of life in half. We don’t want to have to stay in bed all day on really bad days. We really wish we could go out like other people do and participate in the world and its’  activities.

We grieve for our bodies, our lost abilities, our lost social interactions and our lost dreams of doing these we know we will never be able to.

We are just people like everyone else. We are not trying to make anyone’s life more difficult.

Isolation can have a deteriorating effect on cognitive skills and increase the risk of Alzheimer’s Disease.

My thoughts and prayers are with the readers that suffer from chronic pain conditions. More awareness is needed and more empathy is needed.

What is Hospice and What Can I do to Support the Care of my Dying Loved One?

I have worked with hospice patients for many years. I have worked with some really compassionate care givers and some that should  seriously change jobs. 

There seems to be a lot of confusion about the work hospice, even amongst healthcare workers. Many people think that Hospice is the name of an organization. That is not correct. Other people think that is it the name of a benefit given by the government and that is a  little closer to the truth, but also not correct.

Hospice is a philosophy of care that believes is comfort care of the dying.

Whether or not someone gets hospice care depends on a variety of factors. One of the terms that you will hear, if your loved one is receiving hospice care is palliative care.

Palliative care is the type of care that the hospice philosophy is based on. This is ensuring the dignity, comfort and pain management of a dying person.

Most insurance, including medicare covers hospice care if you qualify.

This is all tied up in a bureaucratic mess and sometimes it works and sometimes it fails. I have seen people qualify for hospice care and then “live too long: past the expected time. Then their benefits were pulled and they no longer had hospice care.

Sometimes they re-qualify after a waiting period, and the doctor gives a new diagnosis and submits it ti hospice. I believe that the family has to go through the entire application process again.

Sadly I have seen people die without hospice care, even though they had it a month ago, because the paperwork did not go through in time to re-qualify them.

So, that is the aggravating part to me. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to some of the particular cases I have seen, I have noticed, however, that people with private insurance get treated better than people on medicaid. Surprise , surprise!

The idea of hospice care to keep the patient as comfortable as possible in every way.

Each patient that is approved for hospice will get certain supplies provided to them including but not limited to, a special bed with an air mattress that is designed to prevent pressure ulcers, an oxygen concentrator, a wheelchair, and basic cleaning and hygiene supplies.

Each case is assigned a hospice nurse to supervise the care.

The nurse will visit the patient intermittently and if the family requests her to. The nurse will supervise the nursing assistants who are the direct hands-on care for the patient.

Medications are prescribed by the doctor and overseen by the hospice nurse. If the patient is in a facility then the charge nurse is given directions by hospice on the medications to be given.

The usual medications available to a hospice patient are Roxanol, Morphine and Atropine.

Roxanol is given for anxiety and calming. All patients do not need this but the family can request it. Morphine is used for pain and most patients are given this as they get near the stage of active death and during active death. The family can request or deny the morphine, but usually it is standard.

Many patients develop a death rattle near the last few days prior to death.

The death rattle is caused by extra secretions of fluids and it sounds like they have fluid in their lungs and throat. This sound is often very disconcerting if you have never heard it before. I may make you feel like the patient is suffering or drowning.

But the death rattle does not hurt the patient or cause them nearly as much discomfort as it will sound like to you. The atropine does usually work to reduce the secretions and make the death rattle less disturbing to the family.

Each hospice patient is assigned nurse aides. How often they come depends again on your insurance, if the patient is home or in a facility, and also how close to death they are. Usually there is a nurse aid around the clock for patients that are in the last stage called active death.

Active death usually lasts for 3 days to a week, By this time the patient has stopped eating and has greatly reduced or stopped fluids. They are usually placed on oxygen for their comfort.

The nurse aid should be tending to changing their diaper and also turning them in the bed to a different position, every two hours. 

The turning and repositioning of a person that is bed ridden is very critical.

Pressure sores, also known as bedsores or pressure ulcers can develop in a matter of less than two hours of any pressure being on the same spot of skin.

The pressure sores usually occur on the bony parts of the body, where the most pressure is causes. Places like the backs of the heals, the elbows, and the bony areas of the spine are the most common areas for sores to happen.

Pressure sores can get very severe and their are 4 stages to them. They should be prevented but if they occur then they should be tended to in order for them not to turn into stage 2 or stage 3 ulcers.

Here is a link about pressure sores and the four stages. 

This is a link to more information about causes and treatment of pressure sores.

If left unattended, pressure sores will become so deep that the bone is exposed. As you can imagine this is extremely painful to person who is lying on the sore.

Once a pressure sore begins then the nurse to evaluate it, after an aide usually reports seeing it. The patient will be re-positioned more often and in the way that is directed by the nurse.

If a sore appears on the back of the heal, then the heals will be elevated on a pillow, but good aides know that it is best to do this before any sores happen. The pillow should be placed under the lower legs, leaving the heals in a “free floating” position in the air, and not touching anything.

If the sore is on the spine, then there are special ways that the hospice aide is trained to use pillows to position the person so that they are never lying directly on the sore.

Someone with a bed sore should NEVER be laid in a position that the sore is touching the bed, unless they are being changed or rolled into a new position.

There are also topical creams, patches and antiseptics that can be used to treat the area, depending on the directions given by the nurse, or a wound care specialist.

These are some of the aspects of care that are part of hospice. There are other things that are usually done in order to care for the whole person, including their emotional and mental aspects. There are also more things involved in the physical care, but I think I have given you a good basic idea here.

I will write a second post about hospice care and explain about other aspects of hospice care. The best thing you can do as a family member, about their physical care is to learn about hospice care to make sure that your loved one is receiving the proper care.

If they are in a facility like a nursing home, the more vigilant you are, the better care your loved one will receive.

This may be sad, but I can tell you that it is true, from years of working in nursing homes. I have been instructed before to spend more time on a certain patient because the family is expected to visit. 

Being the person that I am, I always gave equal care to all of my patients, but the directors and charge nurses are more concerned with the how the patient’s care looks to the families that are visiting the most, or the most likely to visit that day. People who had someone visiting them every day, always received the best care and the most attention.

If you cannot visit, then phone calls can also help. You can also send a friend who lives in the area to stop by. As long as the facility knows that someone is keeping an eye on them, then your loved one will be more likely to be cared for on a proper schedule at a nursing home.

Once there is an around the clock aide, when your loved one is near or in active death, then someone will be there to care for them all the time. 

This is a difficult journey for you, if you have a loved one who is dying. Hospice also usually offers help for you in dealing with the grieving process. If you need help, please ask them what services are available to you. 

Awards …I haven’t forgotten you ;)

Hi. Just to let anyone know who is wondering, I am behind on my award posts due to being sick with this kidney infection.

I have started posts for each award, and they are saved in Drafts.

I love giving awards to people and kind of have an OCD like process about selecting nominees and writing award posts.

I start the post, save it to drafts and then look through WordPress on different days to see if there are any new blogs that I have not seen yet that the award would be very meaningful and motivating for.

It is probably a crazy process but like I said it is an OCD thing and I am just like that

So, if you nominated me for an award in the last month or two, and you have not seen a post, please do not feel bad.

I have your post saved in drafts. I have actually added to it and updated it a few times already.

When I am physically unwell, my anxiety gets bad and along with the anxiety comes an increased OCD So, I love you and I did not forget you. ❤

Award posts are forthcoming. I did thr Sunshine one. Thank you for that award. The pretty sunny flower is very nice and I added it to my About page today.

I know I have a Versatile blogger post to complete and also one for the Once a Victim now a Survivor. I am searching for bloggers that I know were victims of domestic abuse, a severe life crisis like the death of a child, or severe physical trauma for that award.

Since the Once a Victim now a Survivor award is specific, it is taking me a little longer than the others. That is a very special award to me personally and I had never seen it before.

Thank you to everyone who thought of me to give me awards. I always enjoy the badges and I enjoy sending people the notifications that their blog has been awarded.

Love to all ❤
This relieves my feelings of guilt, which are probably unnecessary. But that Toxic Shame creeps up from the past and then I will feel guilt over silly things.

Like I mentioned, physical illness tends to increase my mental illness struggles on all counts.. OCD, anxiety, depression. feeling of hopelessness and failure. All that stupid crap that I try to rise above. but it bites me hard on the ass when I am not feeling well.

Love and hugs,
Annie ❤