Complex PTSD

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Trauma during childhood and teenage years leaves fractured pieces of yourself, existing  in time. As you begin to accept those child parts that feel abandoned, you will begin to realize that time is not as linear as we have been programmed to perceive it. 

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All of those parts of you exists now. You can reach out to them and bring them into yourself to integrate those fractured parts, so they do not feel rejected and abandoned. 
This will help you to be more in the present, so that you can think more clearly and see what you want and what you can do with your life. 
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C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is caused by being in on-going emotional / mental abuse from people that you feel entrapped with. There is no way to leave the situation, when you are a child and you are stuck in whatever situations your parents put you into. 
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Emotional abuse and other kinds of abuse cause emotional wounds.

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These emotional wounds are not able to heal while you are still in the abusive situations. Usually children are so used to the way they are living that there is no real frame of reference to know that you are being abused, or the degree to which the abuse is. 

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Wounded children feel abandoned in time, and there is no proper integration of these child parts into the whole. It is like there is still a wounded child inside of you that is waiting for someone to rescue them. Doing inner child work can help the fractured parts to become integrated. 

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If you have C-PTSD from childhood trauma, abuse, or chaotic events, your may have fractures and wounds in your subconscious. This can cause depression, anxiety disorders, OCD and other kinds of mental illness.

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The feeling that you do not belong anywhere and that you are out of place can come from the fractured child parts feeling abandoned. They need to be accepted and nurtured. 

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I am working on some hypnosis audios for healing the wounded child and helping the fractured parts to integrate. If you want to get updates about the audios, feel free to follow the Facebook Page,or to sign up on the contact page at the Gentlekindness coachingweb site. 

Depression, Loneliness and Invisible Illness

Depression and lonliness can exist together, but they are not exactly the same thing.

Lonliness is something experienced by all people at some point but it is not always accompanied by depression.

Usually lonliness is thought of as occurring in solitude but this is not always true either.

Some people experience lonliness in combination homesickness , when they are away from familiar people and surroundings. They can feel this even when there are people around.

Other people feel like they do not fit in and this leads to lonliness with people around. Some people feel more lonely around groups of people than they do when they are by themselves.

There are other circumstances where people experience lonliness with other people around. Some of these circumstances tend to cause a co-existing condition of depression and lonliness.

People with invisible illnesses like chronic pain, chronic illness, and mental illness often feel both lonliness and depression. There is a feeling of disconnection from others when someone cannot find anyone that can relate to what they are going through.

Toxic loneliness is something that happens to people that cannot tolerate being alone or cannot tolerate bring without an intimate partner.

Ross Rosenberg coined the term “pathological loneliness” when he was doing research with his clients that suffered from co-dependence.

He discovered that one of the reasons so many people go back into abusive relationships is the pathological loneliness.

Both the terms toxic loneliness and pathological loneliness refer to this intolerable pain associated with being alone.

Usually the abusive partner lures the victim back in with false promises that things will be different. The victim who is suffering from such severe emotional / mental distress from being alone takes their chances and goes back.

In the mind of the victim, the pathological loneliness and the depression that goes along with it, is more painful than the abuse was.

People with codependent personalities usually developed pathological lonliness as children from neglect and abuse.

Depression can also develope out of childhood abuse. This can be any type of abuse, including emotional and psychological abuse. People that were abused as children often have complex post traumatic stress disorder as adults.

C-PTSD can involve depression, anxiety and sometimes pathological loneliness. There are often internal mental tapes that play inside their head that repeat negative things.

Being alone can make the internal dialogue louder. Thoughts of worthlessness, shame and failure play over and over. These tapes are implanted in the subconscious during childhood by others.

Many people with C-PTSD do not realize that they have actual trauma that is the same as PTSD which was caused at multiple ages and multiple circumstances.

Many people who have mental illness like depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder had chaotic, traumatic, abusive or emotionally devaluing chilhoods.

People with depression have organic differences in their brains which can be seen with brain scans like an MRI. Certain parts of the brain that are supposed to light up to show activity, do not light up.

Depression can also co-exist with anxiety disorders. The sensations of imminent threat that occur with PTSD and CPTSD, can be felt alongside of depression and loneliness.

Sometimes it can be hard to differentiate one feeling from another. It can be helpful to people to be able to identify what sensations they are feeling.

Sometimes looking at the feelings and figuring out what is based on current circumstances and what is from early programming can help.

People with disorders of depression often feel lonely because they are unable to find people to understand their illness. Being disbelieved and invalidated can open up old wounds from childhood.

Some people are unaware that they had any abuse or emotional trauma because it happened at a very young age. The brain stores memories differently before the age of 5.

Conditions like depression and toxic loneliness are no less painful than other illnesses. Unfortunately many people are not empathetic about invisible illnesses.

Accepting Emotions and Healing Old Wounds – Emotophobia

Instead of trying to stop feeling the emotions that you feel, when you see them as negative emotions, show yourself love. Accept the emotions you are feeling.

Investigate within yourself and find out why you are really feeling this emotion. Show compassion and empathy to yourself and allow yourself to have feelings without judging yourself for them.

Emotophobia is the fear of negative emotions. Many people that grew up with chaos, trauma or abuse, have a form of emotophobia. You may have been taught that feeling certain emotions was wrong or bad.

Many of us were taught that feeling certain emotions was selfish, weak and that you were to be judged for it. You should not have to judge yourself for feeling things.

Repressing emotions does not make them go away. It does not deal with the problem that is underneath of the emotions that are coming up.

Being judged for your emotions as a child was emotional abuse. Being told to change, hide and feel shame for feeling “negative” emotions was also emotional and mental abuse. It made you feel that you were bad because of ways that you felt about things.

Being taught you are bad for feeling things and expressing your feelings, teaches you that you are either good or bad based on how you feel about things. This is wrong. Emotions are simply our subconscious brain trying to tell us something,

Emotions are generated by the subconscious brain and we cannot control the emotions that initially come up about things. Denying emotions is denying ourselves. Then our inner child can feel abandoned and devalued.

perception

Devaluing yourself based on the way you feel, is a way of abandoning parts of yourself. All the parts of you are an important part of your entire being, You cannot deny and abandon part of yourself without abandoning yourself as a person that has a right to be who you are.

This abandonment of yourself is taught to children from abusive back grounds. You are taught that your needs do not matter in the grand scheme of things, Your needs are less important that theirs are and than the rest of the family.

You either matter or you do not matter. I can tell you that you do matter. Once you begin to accept the emotions that come up and understand that your subconscious brain only brings u emotions with good reasons to signal them to you, then you can look at why you are feeling the ways you do.

Healing can begin once you accept yourself and your emotions without judgement. Let go of learned thought patterns that were forced onto you during childhood.

you matter

You matter as much as anyone else does. Why do someone else’s feelings matter more than your own? Why do you feel bad to have emotions that might contradict someone else’s reality?

Your reality matters and your brain knows why it sends certain feelings to the body. Investigate within yourself and let your inner child know that it has not been abandoned.

Many feelings that are “negative ” feelings are to protect you or they are wounds that are being re-opened from childhood. They may be wounds that are being triggered from adult trauma.

Even some adult trauma was more traumatic because whatever happened was re-opening childhood wounds. Your pain is trying to show you something that needs to be known.

The first step to healing old wounds is to accept that they are there. Understand that you have been wounded and that feelings do not just come out of nowhere, even when they seem to.

Blessings.

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