anxiety, blogging, blogging for a cause, compassion, depression, kindness, life, mental health, mental illness, self-esteem, self-help

#1000 Speak for Compassion / Bloggers posting Compassion on Feb 20

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Compassion is very simple to me. To show someone compassion is to focus your attention and loving intent towards them. When a person is right in front of you or you are talking with them by posting a comment on their blog, they are the most important person.

Buddhism teaches that the most important time is NOW. And the most important person is THE PERSON RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. Now I would have to take exception to that if the person right in front of you were mean to you in any way.

But to show compassion is to fully focus your attention on that one person right in front of you. The other people you care about are not there at that moment. No other people are there at that moment. You are fully prioritizing that one person you are listening to and responding to.

Listening is done with the heart. The ears can pick up the sounds and the brain can translate the sounds into words, This is all very mechanical.

To really hear someone and feel what they are feeling, you have to listen with your heart. You cannot listen from a place of judgement or previous suppositions. You cannot decide how they should feel or where they are coming from.

A person feels how they feel. Their background is unique and their personality is unique. Their entire perspective on the world and their reality is unique. To understand , you need to suspend your reality for a few moments and enter into theirs.

If you can see things from the person’s reality, then you can begin to have true compassion for them. You do not always have to say anything much. Sometimes a simple, “I understand that you feel that way.” can be extremely validating and healing.

“I understand that you feel that way” allows for the person to feel that their feelings matter and have been heard. Too often I hear people say “Don’t say that” ,,or “You don’t really mean that”,,,or “Just cheer up, just smile, shake it off,,”

A person first needs to feel what they feel and be acknowledged for it. Then they can go on to seeing it from a rational point of view or problem solving.

Advice  like “Just be happy” or “be in the moment” is not helpful in itself. You need to “be in the moment” with the person in order to be able to even begin to understand what you can say that would be helpful to them.

You also need to ask “What would be helpful for you, that I can do or say?” This puts the ball in their  court, rather than you dominating and telling them what is good for them. You do not really know what they need, only they know in their heart. Ask them.

Blessings, and much love,

Annie

mental health, mental illness, teen health, teen mental health, teen mental illness

Facebook post by my Daughter about Not Attaching Your Self Esteem to the Comments or Lack their Of / Cyberbullying and Our Children

The post below is by my youngest  daughter. She gave me permission to post it here on wordpress. I thought it was insightful and a very interesting perspective from a young person about the internet. Our children are very connected with the social media and their self esteem is directly linked  what goes on between their internet  “friends”  and followers.

Facebook is a social media that involves short burst types of posts and posting of photos and some artwork.  Many of the people on facebook are superficial and also status quo oriented. Posting very meaningful things does not always get the response you want, unless you are in a closed group on facebook, specializing in mental illness or abuse.

My daughter has learned that facebook is not the best place to use for a self esteem meter.

She also posts artwork and writings on deviantart which is a better place for meaningful and inspired types of work. She gets more intelligent feedback there. You can post things on deviantart like drawings, computer generated art  story writing and poetry.

I am very proud of her for making the observations which you will see below. I am proud of her that she has been able to evaluate the shortcomings of facebook and does not attach her self esteem to the responses she gets from the people on facebook.

Our children must learn to deal with criticism and stupid comments on the internet. They also have to deal with bullying in an internet world, that we did not grow up with.  The children and teenagers can have harmful mental damage done to them by cyber-bullying and inappropriate comments.

Our children can end up with mental illness (depression, severe anxiety, suicidal ideations) over the interactions on the internet.

They have to learn that every comment is not true or worth taking to heart. Also that lack of comments on something they post, does not mean that they are not important.

Please enjoy her post and comment anything below that you would like me to convey to her.

(sorry if this post offends anyone im just kinda joking around though it is also kinda true)

~facebook logic~

* someone makes a meaningful post/shares meaningful thing, post gets ignored*

* someone makes a  stupid post, gets tons of comments*

*good artist uploads an art piece, is told they suck and the only person who comments anything nice is person’s boyfriend*

*bad artist uploads art piece, is told they should be an animator and is the best artist ever*

*someone uploads something intelligent, is told they are stupid*

*someone uploads something super idiotic, is told they are the next Albert Einstein*

mental illness

facebook New Account Please follow me :) and Idea for Facebook Group

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100008807616732

Above is the link to my home page of my new facebook account. This is Annie Hall facebook page. You will find that there are over 1000 annie hall’s on facebook so you will need this link to find me.

I am using this particular facebook account for the same kinds of topics I post here on wordpress. My family/friend (meaning childhood and work friends) is a different name. I hardly ever look at that one.

I want to create a group on facebook, once I have a few followers.I will tell you more about that group after my brain comes back a little. That might be on Tuesday. LOL

Blessings

Annie