blogging, funny blog, mental health, mental illness, top 10 list, top 10 list funny, top ten list

Time for Annie’s Top Ten 10 Random Thoughts

Time for 10 random thoughts ….

1. I think that only people who have been through a trauma can understand. Maybe therapists that treat PTSD should be people that have been through trauma and are also  trained to treat it. These people that have had cushy lives with no horrible mental injuries cannot understand. How can they help you, if they have no idea how you feel?

2. I love veggie straws and I sometimes eat them while sipping a peach fuzzy navel wine cooler. It is a strange flavor combination that I find oddly pleasurable

3. I love my bunny soooo much. He is sooo funny

4. I am tired and want to sleep for a week

5. Facebook has closed groups for mental health. There are some for bipolar disorder, PTSD, domestic abuse survivors , eating disorders etc. You can search tags in the facebook search bar. Type in anxiety, depression or mental illness or whatever you are looking for. Then you click to request to join the group. They usually approve you and then give you the group rules

6. Writing poetry is easy, dealing with live people is hard

7. Sometimes I am afraid I

8. My flute is broken and I want to buy a new one with the tax refund. Then I can play flute for you all ūüôā

9. I think that blogging can be great therapy

10. Making certain kinds of lists can be therapeutic. The part of the brain that is involved in organizing and sorting ideas becomes activated. When that part is dominant, the fear center of the brain is quieter. Just make lists about things that are not anxiety provoking. You can list things about your mental health if it helps.

Ideas for lists

1. Lists within lists LOL

2. Lists about what to list LOL

3. Fears

4. Dreams

5. Achievements

6. People you like

7. Favorite somethings….animals, colors, sensations, movies….

8. Question that starts a list “What I would do if I were a queen..” “What I would change if I were president…” ¬†“What would I do if I lived in a a mansion?”

9. favorite post of Annie ūüôā

10. Favorite posts of your own

funny blog, health, life, mental health, mental illness, wellness, women's health, women's issues

Telekinesis and the Mustard Baloons

telekinesis kitty

My bedroom door is open. Someone came into the room and they did not close it when they left. Being that I called out of work due to a tummy ache, Yuck !  I really do not want to come out from under these soft blankets and close that door,

My preteen daughter has her music playing too loudly and the open door is  sending  the teenie bop beats right through into my otherwise peaceful, quiet space.

So, I did something which I do from time to time….

I tried to close that bloody door with telekinesis! I put out my hand, hopefully, and sent all the  powerful telekinetic energy I could muster, towards that blasted door.

Guess what?

Oh, crap.

Hang on. I am going to to try , one more time…

I am very pleased to announce to you all….. This is very exciting….

The amazing news is that…….

Oh, crap. I guess the news is that I have not given up.  One day I will do it ! I will practice and then I will do it. There will be an amazing announcement and then you will all know that I have achieved my superpower.

Coming soon, to a WordPress Blog near you….will be the news feed…There will be a grand announcement and it will go something like this….

Hold Onto Your Hats ! OR Your HEADS!.. (whichever is more likely to fly off… )

Annie! ¬†That’s right ! Our beloved sister ¬†Annie….. ¬†poet of the Realm of WordPress, ¬†in all her infinite wisdom and super-fantastic power … has ¬†closed that damn door! Yes ! You heard correctly folks! Annie has closed that door ¬†and did not even have to get out from under her fuzzy blankets or call across the apartment for a random kid to close the door for her!

She just reached out her marvelous hand and told that door to close. She sent the energy of “Close the Darn Door” into the air and POW! Close it did!! Yay! Yay!

Crowds of anxious and very nosy, gossipy spectators are gathering outside, beneath Annie’s bedroom window. One of our correspondents has reported than ¬†Annie dropped some water balloons on the heads of the gathering crowd.

Annie then ¬†called down to the nosy crowd. She told them ¬†that she currently has ¬†her children ¬†filling balloons with mustard. ¬†So, everyone ¬†should back away from the house, ¬†if they know what is good for them! The voices in her head told her to splash them with mustard and then possibly …cold ¬†pea soup…or mashed potatoes.

Crazy Annie ! I don’t think she would really bomb the crowd ¬†with mustard. Do you???

We will be closely monitoring this breaking news for you.  We anticipate a new amazing feat within the next  few hours.

Sources have informed us that Annie is planning to stay in bed all day, therefore, she will ¬†be telekinetically making ¬†a sandwich for herself (secret informers tell us that it will be roast beef and swiss on whole wheat) . Then she will ¬†float said sandwich through the air, from the kitchen ¬†and if all goes well, it will land PLOP! right into to Annie’s eager hands. ¬†Annie will never leave the bed.

Updates are expected within the hour. We will return after these important messages…”

Yeah, so that is my dream. I have been trying for years. Everytime I drop something on the floor, I hold my hand out and tell the thing to rise up into my hand. I don’t know why it has not worked yet, but I have not given up.

This should be a lesson to all of you. When you have a dream, you should hold onto it. Hold onto it until it comes to fruition. That way you will end up like Crazy Annie, sitting in her bed, with hand outstretched to the bedroom door. It still has not closed, but I have the heart of a fighter. And so should you !

You may never accomplish your dream, but at least you can type up your fantasy on WordPress.

One of my favorite fellow bloggers was lamenting the human condition yesterday, as I am doing now. But maybe if we can all become superheroes then we will not have to put up with our human shortcomings anymore. Better yet, we will just throw mustard balloons on the people that are annoying us. ūüôā

This post is dedicated to Nekaaar , who is a wonderful human and writes wonderful ramblings that inspire and make me smile. It was in lieu of putting a comment in her comment section of her recent post.

Blessings,

Annie

health, holidays, life, mental illness, poem, poetry

Holiday Drivers – Annie’s twisted Christmas Song tune to Deck the Halls about Aggressive Drivers

Holy crap ! I am trying to drive to get my last minute errands done, like everyone else. Some of these people seem to think that their errands are far more important than everyone else’s. They are getting aggressive in the stores as well as on the road.

I still have to go out twice more today. I have to take my teenager to the mall and I have to take my 12 year old to the shoe store. I have Christmas money from her dad to spend. She has bad feet and has been walking in cheep shoes. So finally I can get her a good pair of shoes. This is a Christmas blessing !

So anyway, there are pedestrians walking in front of my car. They were crossing the road at an intersection. The car behind me is beeping like a maniac for me to go. Where am I supposed to go? He wanted me to run the people over ad leave their dead bodies in the street? Good lord!

So I stated to have an anxiety attack from the bullying on the road. In order to cope with it, I started writing a twisted tune in my head. I will work on it more later today, to come up with a few more verses. But I was singing it to myself in the car and I was laughing. It helped to reduce the anxiety until I made it one more mile to my house.

Here is the beginning of it. This is what I was singing to myself a few minutes ago, i the car.

Deck the Halls with Materialism

Fa la la  la la   Рla la la la

Hit the people with precision

Fa la la la la – la la la la

Clear the sidewalk

I’m not kidding

Fa la la la la la – la la la

All the time I will be singing

Fa la la la la – la la la la

I have things I have to do

Fa la la la la – la la la la

I don’t care a crap for you

Fa la la la la – la la la la

Hit the bar, then drive to Walmart

Fa la la – la la la – la la la

I don’t hold the door for old farts

Fa la la la la – la la la la

Aggressive driving is my style

Fa la la la la Рla la la la 

Guaranteed to crush your smile

Fa la la la la Рla la la la 

Screw the drivers in my way

Fa la la- la la la Рla la la 

My  middle finger has something to say

fa la la la la -la la la la 

There’s no time ¬†to be polite

fa la la la la Рla la la la 

I don’t see the dumb red light

fa la la la la Рla la la la 

Domination,  Annihilation

Fa la la – la la la – la la la

You better take your medication

fa la la la la – la la la la

holidays, life, news

Snowman Cheese Ball ?

I just saw Walmart’s suggested gift list video suggestions on youtube. Third on the list is a cheeseball shaped like a snowman. It occurs to me that this has “Funny Annie Blog” written all over it. It must be written in cheese wiz…….

Something to look forward to for later.
I really am going back to sleep this time. I never procrastinate…or do I … I will put that thought off until later……hmmm…
Snowman cheeseball! Say it outloud and try not to laugh. See if you can do it !

holiday ideas, holidays, life

Amazon shopping … Counting Down…20 hours or 12 hours?

Well it looks like different items have different timers on them. I ordered one that said it had to be ordered within 12 hours and 8 minutes with 2 day shipping to arrive on time. Another item says 20 hours and 15 minutes.

If you have Amazon prime, I think they are still claiming 3 days, but I would order sooner. A couple of years ago, the last minute orders did not arrive on time, even if you ordered within their timer.

My favorite Amazon coupon was from Old Spice which is for body spray.It says, and I quote, “Smellcome to Manhood”

That is the current favorite, As we are counting down, let me know if you see any other funny advertising slogans ! I love to watch the ads and think about the marketing tactics. it is all about psychology. Make them laugh, raise their self-esteem, make them feel guilty, convince them everyone else is doing it, convince them they will be cool to be the first to have it, make them feel clever, put on the pressure that supplies are limited , etc

Ok, back to amazon. Goodnight post forthcoming ūüôā

Annie

funny blog, mental health

Fleema, Weema, Smeeza, Shwoooo!

It is time, once again for all good little insomniacs to go to sleeeeeepzzzzzzzz

Blogging is so much fun but now I am having my own balance problems LOL

That whole blog about balance and I am blogging when I should be sleeping.

Mushy, mishy, moshy, meesh

Shushy, shoshy, sheeezzzy, shmeez

Looozie, Laaaaxa, lummmana, looon

Dragga, drooogu, drinka, dreeeem

Sweezu, swooozzu, swwummu, swem

Say these out loud. It is fun!

Yeah, maybe crazy Annie needs to sleep now

Swinka, swenda, smeesha , woooooo !!!!!

Have a peaceful night.  Most of you wake up in the morning an hour after I go to sleep.

Woooozu, whooooma, whooka , Blu

Fleema , weema , linka, swooo

These really are fun to say out loud. Weeee Wooooo Try it !!

health, insomnia, mental health, mental illness

WEB MD on Insomnia – funny blog

I came across this article on Web MD about insomnia. At the bottom of the page was a one question poll, with four possible answers.

What helps you sleep when you have insomnia?

1. Reading a book

2. Watching television

3. Taking sleep medication

4. Staying in bed and trying to fall asleep

I assume, at this point that those of you that suffer from insomnia are saying WHAT?

I know , right? ¬†First of all, the question itself is silly. If you could fall asleep then you wouldn’t have insomnia!

Answer number 4  is my personal favorite. Can you imagine?

Patient – ¬†“Dr, I think I have insomnia. ”

Doctor – “What makes you think so?”

Patient – “I just can’t ¬†fall asleep unless I stay in bed and try to fall asleep.”

LOL  Wow, some people have it really hard!  LOL

With the possible exception of answer number 3, sleep medication, I don’t see how any of those responses belong on a poll given to people with insomnia.

Sally – “Oh, I had insomnia last night. I just couldn’t sleep”

Sally’s friend – “OMG I am so sorry. What ever did you do???”

Sally – ” I couldn’t sleep for a half an hour and then I started to read a book.”

Sally’s friend – ” Then what happened?”

Sally – ” Then it took me whole 15 minutes to fall asleep after starting the book.”

Sally’s friend ” Twenty minutes ! You’ve really got to see a doctor ¬†! ”

LOL LOL

Sorry, I am laughing so hard right now!

I can understand people that don’t have insomnia not understanding about it, but this poll was on WEB MD.

I can just imagine someone looking up insomnia for a friend. This is the information they are going to come back to them with. “Oh darlene. I looked insomnia up for you. Have you tried reading a book or watching television?”

abnormal psychology, anxiety, funny blog, germophobia, holiday top 10 list, mental health, mental illness, ocd, top 10 list, top ten list

Top 10 Things That are Likely to Occur on the Holidays if you Have OCD or Germophobia

10. When you go for holiday dinner, there will be one hand towel in the bathroom for 20 people.

9. You are eating the food that Grandma brought when you see her cough and sneeze, and then wipe it on the back of her hand.

8. You go to the hostess’s fridge to get more milk for your kids and you notice the expiration date was 4 days ago.

7. The host is feeding the dog meat from the table and then he passes you the cranberry sauce.

6. The cashier at the grocery store is coughing like she has bronchitis as she is bagging your groceries. When you offer to bag it yourself, she says “I don’t mind

5. Someone stuffed their used, snotty tissues back into the tissue box.

4. Your daughter comes and hands you back the hairbrush she always borrows. She pulls a note from her book bag and says “the teacher said to give you this”
The note reads “Please be advised that there have been 6 students at the school sent home due to lice.”

3. When you get to the nursing home to visit your great aunt, there is a big sign that says “Free hand sanitizer available at the desk. We have had a bad virus going through here all week.”

2. While keeping your Great Aunt Sophie company during her dinner, she reaches her fork over and takes food from the other resident’s plate and eats it.

1. When you tell her that it is not the right thing to do, she says “oh I’m sorry. That was rude. Hang on , I’ll get you some too!”

anxiety, christmas funny, disfunctional family, family, funny blog, funny Christmas blog, funny family story, funny holiday blog, holiday funny, holiday story, mental health, mental illness, social anxiety, top 10 list, top 10 list funny, top 10 list holiday, top ten list

Top Ten Things Women Hate About the Holidays – Annie’s Top Ten Lists

10. You spend 40 hours of work to afford the gifts, 20 hours shopping for them, 4 hours wrapping them and they are all torn open in less than 15 minutes.

9. Your mother in law will come to visit for longer than usual.

8. She will re-organize your kitchen, in spite of your pleas not to, and you cannot find the things you need to make the holiday dinner.

7. Little children will leave toys that roll, right at the top of the stairs.

6. All those family members that you have “been too busy to get back to” suddenly realize you are off from work.

5. The men monopolize the tv, with football and yell things a lot.

4. Other women comment on your weight, one way or another. (Why do they do this? Who the hell asked them?)

3. When women end up at your house, before you have gotten any make-up on, they say “Oh, Annie you really can pull off that “natural look” can’t you? I just can’t do it myself. But you can manage to pull it off.

2. You have to tell your 16 year old to pull up her shirt to cover her cleavage better, before Grandma gets there for dinner. Then your 12 year walks into dinner late, with her shirt even lower.

1. Aunt Mary eats your hidden stash of emergency chocolate or Uncle Bob drinks all of your hidden stash of wine coolers which you bought specifically to get through the day.

christmas, holiday stress, holidays, top 10 list, Uncategorized

Annie’s Top Ten Lists – Top Ten Annoying Things About the Holidays

10. The closer you get to the mall, the more people cut in front of you, practically taking the front of your car off.

9. The bell ringers will ring that damn bell right in your ear and publicly shame you if you don’t put a quarter in their bucket, even if your hands are full.

8. Your mother-in-law will ask you what you want for Christmas and then get you exactly the opposite.

7. No matter how hard you try, there will be three hours of wrapping to do on Christmas Eve.

6. Old ladies will rip a toy right out of your hand, in Walmart, because it is the last one.

5. You gain ten pounds eating chocolate, because you know someone will talk you into cutting the junk food for a New Years resolution and you’ve got to fill up now.

4. They start the Christmas music in the stores so early in the season that you can’t stand it by Christmas.

3. When you arrive at the homeless shelter to volunteer, one of the food servers offers you a bowl of soup because the stress of the holidays has reduced you to looking like you slept outside.

2. You run out of scotch tape at 11:30 pm on Christmas Eve when you have three gifts left to wrap.

1. All of the radio stations on Christmas Day are playing Christmas music. You would kill to hear a rock song.