health, holidays, life, mental illness, poem, poetry

Holiday Drivers – Annie’s twisted Christmas Song tune to Deck the Halls about Aggressive Drivers

Holy crap ! I am trying to drive to get my last minute errands done, like everyone else. Some of these people seem to think that their errands are far more important than everyone else’s. They are getting aggressive in the stores as well as on the road.

I still have to go out twice more today. I have to take my teenager to the mall and I have to take my 12 year old to the shoe store. I have Christmas money from her dad to spend. She has bad feet and has been walking in cheep shoes. So finally I can get her a good pair of shoes. This is a Christmas blessing !

So anyway, there are pedestrians walking in front of my car. They were crossing the road at an intersection. The car behind me is beeping like a maniac for me to go. Where am I supposed to go? He wanted me to run the people over ad leave their dead bodies in the street? Good lord!

So I stated to have an anxiety attack from the bullying on the road. In order to cope with it, I started writing a twisted tune in my head. I will work on it more later today, to come up with a few more verses. But I was singing it to myself in the car and I was laughing. It helped to reduce the anxiety until I made it one more mile to my house.

Here is the beginning of it. This is what I was singing to myself a few minutes ago, i the car.

Deck the Halls with Materialism

Fa la la  la la   – la la la la

Hit the people with precision

Fa la la la la – la la la la

Clear the sidewalk

I’m not kidding

Fa la la la la la – la la la

All the time I will be singing

Fa la la la la – la la la la

I have things I have to do

Fa la la la la – la la la la

I don’t care a crap for you

Fa la la la la – la la la la

Hit the bar, then drive to Walmart

Fa la la – la la la – la la la

I don’t hold the door for old farts

Fa la la la la – la la la la

Aggressive driving is my style

Fa la la la la – la la la la 

Guaranteed to crush your smile

Fa la la la la – la la la la 

Screw the drivers in my way

Fa la la- la la la – la la la 

My  middle finger has something to say

fa la la la la -la la la la 

There’s no time  to be polite

fa la la la la – la la la la 

I don’t see the dumb red light

fa la la la la – la la la la 

Domination,  Annihilation

Fa la la – la la la – la la la

You better take your medication

fa la la la la – la la la la

holidays, life, news

Snowman Cheese Ball ?

I just saw Walmart’s suggested gift list video suggestions on youtube. Third on the list is a cheeseball shaped like a snowman. It occurs to me that this has “Funny Annie Blog” written all over it. It must be written in cheese wiz…….

Something to look forward to for later.
I really am going back to sleep this time. I never procrastinate…or do I … I will put that thought off until later……hmmm…
Snowman cheeseball! Say it outloud and try not to laugh. See if you can do it !

books, holiday anxiety, holiday stress, life

How to Be a Real Man / There are Rules you Know …LOL

Ok, so I am looking on Amazon for Christmas gifts and there it is !  It was in the teenager books section.

Manual of Manhood: How to Cook the Perfect Steak,  Change a Tire , Impress a Girl and 97 Other Things you Need to Survive. 

Besides the fact that I have yet to meet a guy who can do all three of those things,  is this really what it means to be a man?  Do we want to tell our teenage boys that their priority in life is to cook meat and do some peacocking to impress a girl?

I would venture to say that there are a few things that are more important on the priorities list. If I had a son, he could call AAA, eat spaghetti and find a girl that appreciates him for who he is, not what kind of song and dance he puts on. Wow !

These are the things a man needs to “Survive?” I know lots of guys that survive just fine and are not very good at any of these things. What kind of pressure are we putting on our poor teenage boys to be “the picture of manhood?”

OK now, just for fun, I waited until I was writing this post, to look at the chapters in the Amazon sneak peak.  So let’s look together and see what else the author claims is necessary for our boys to grow up into “real men.”…..

Here we go…The author Jonathan Catherman tells our boys that as a  “man in the making ” they will need to know how to do this stuff…

Wear Cologne  Correctly

Throw a Football (wow, that seems a bit of a stretch to learn from reading a book !)

Behave During a Traffic Stop (???)

Fold a Shirt

Grill a Steak

Clean a Bathroom

and … Find a Stud in the Wall

Ok, all you men out there. If you are falling short on any of these , you might not be able to impress me LOL

Just posted this in hopes that a little laughter would reduce your holiday anxiety

Happy Amazon Shopping, only 12 hours and 8 minutes left 🙂 if you are using 2 day shipping!

Annie

abnormal psychology, anxiety, funny blog, germophobia, holiday top 10 list, mental health, mental illness, ocd, top 10 list, top ten list

Top 10 Things That are Likely to Occur on the Holidays if you Have OCD or Germophobia

10. When you go for holiday dinner, there will be one hand towel in the bathroom for 20 people.

9. You are eating the food that Grandma brought when you see her cough and sneeze, and then wipe it on the back of her hand.

8. You go to the hostess’s fridge to get more milk for your kids and you notice the expiration date was 4 days ago.

7. The host is feeding the dog meat from the table and then he passes you the cranberry sauce.

6. The cashier at the grocery store is coughing like she has bronchitis as she is bagging your groceries. When you offer to bag it yourself, she says “I don’t mind

5. Someone stuffed their used, snotty tissues back into the tissue box.

4. Your daughter comes and hands you back the hairbrush she always borrows. She pulls a note from her book bag and says “the teacher said to give you this”
The note reads “Please be advised that there have been 6 students at the school sent home due to lice.”

3. When you get to the nursing home to visit your great aunt, there is a big sign that says “Free hand sanitizer available at the desk. We have had a bad virus going through here all week.”

2. While keeping your Great Aunt Sophie company during her dinner, she reaches her fork over and takes food from the other resident’s plate and eats it.

1. When you tell her that it is not the right thing to do, she says “oh I’m sorry. That was rude. Hang on , I’ll get you some too!”