Door dash, DoorDash, Gig economy, mental illness, Rideshare

The Devil Slashed my Tire

Okay . That title might seem like click bait. But here is a screen shot of my total lifetime deliveries with Door Dash.

And that’s when my tire blew !

I was dealing with AAA yesterday, and getting the spare put on, so I didn’t look at that screen on Door Dash , until today.

As I was checking my customer  ratings today, I realized that the delivery total had gone to 666, just as that tire blew.

So, I decides to have a sense of humor about the whole thing, rather than dwelling on all the problems that snowballed yesterday, because of that tire blowing.

So there is the screen shot.

The devil blew my tire ! LOL !!Screenshot_20200124-162241

free form poetry, funny poem, funny post, mental illness, poem, poetry

🍸🍹Silly New Year’s Eve Poem 🍷🍹

Happy New Year to all of you

I could not wear my high heal 👠👠

I tried them on but my 👣 must have grew

So then I drew a 💖 for you

I thought I might ask you for a 💋😘

But I ate some 🎂that looked like this  🍰

I did my hair and tied it with a 🎀

Then painted my finger 💅 and my toes

All dressed up with no place to go

I went outside to see the 🌙🌖

Came back inside to wrap  a  gift 📦 for you

Used the 🎀 from my up in hair

But that 🍦 🍧melted far too soon

Wrote you a song 🎶 on my 🎸

Went back outside to see the 🌠🌌

Came back in again to play 🎹 for awhile

Then wrote this poem to make you 😄

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

blogging, short story, Writing prompt

A Fun Sensual Silly Fantasy Starter For You This Morning…

A beautiful woman had been stranded on a deserted island, in the tropics, for many months. She was the only survivor of a terrible shipwreck which was caused by a drunk driving sea captain.

He had received previous SSWI tickets. (Sailing a Ship While Intoxicated ) tickets from the Coast but he was stupid and still drank while Sailing. His favorite drink was Jack Daniels.

Everyone died in the shipwreck except the woman in my story. Some of them drowned and others were eaten by sharks.

One of the men survived the shipwreck and was intending to swim to shore but was lured by a malicious mermaid out to sea

Our story character….   let us call her… “Sensualana” …swam to shore. She was a strong swimmer but still almost did not make the long distance.

She finally collapsed upon the shore and slept there exhausted for hours. Some pirates came and stole her clothes but did not take advantage of her.

I don’t know why. If you run unto them, you can ask them. I also do not know why they did not capture her or how in the world she did not wake up while pirates were tearing off her clothing.

When she awoke, she got herself up and went about the business of surviving on a tropical island. For the purposes of my silly story, she easily found shelter and learned how to get plenty of food.

She never thought about why she was naked or wondered where her clothes went.

She was creative and resourceful. She also had developed a great tan with no tan lines.. .since she was all alone on the island ….so she thought.

Little did she know that an indiginous tribe had been watching her. They knew the territory so well that they easily kept hidden from her, as a few of them watched her as she gathered her fruits and berries.

She entertained herself by singing and she had also fashioned a flute type of instrument out of a hollow wooden branch.

The men of the indiginous tribe  loved  to listen to her music. They found it stragely erotic and yet soothing.

Once a dolphin swam up to the shore to listen to Sensualana play her flute.

The music had magical powers and so the dolphin sprouted wings and began to fly…

Either that or Sensualla had eaten the wrong kind of wild  mushrooms for breakfast….

Alas, one of the tribal men fell madly in lust with her. One day he was watching her as she was fishing in the ocean.

He admired her resourcefulness and her ability to make fishing tools from what she found here and there on the island.

She caught many fish and knew she would have a feast for dinner.

She left her fish in a bucket on the shore and decided to take a swim in the water. She dove underneath the waves and swam.

The man did not see her for a minute or so and almost ran out of his hiding place to see if she was drowning.

Momentarily he saw her head come up out of the undulating waves. She swam closer to shore and the sunlight danced off of her golden long hair.

The man watched…  entranced. .. as the beautiful woman stood up in the water. The ocean water was waist deep and he could see the rest of her naked back.

Her curves were perfect and the man thought she must be a goddess.

Her hair hung down to her waist. She reached her arms up to run her fingers through her hair. As she turned, the man could see her from the front.

Her beauty was so stunning that he lost the strength in his knees. His foot moved and a branch he stepped upon made a noise.

She heard this and looked towards his direction. …..

What happens next is for your imagination to enjoy………:)

If anyone wants to continue the rest of the story in writing feel free to copy and paste this and then write your own ending. Simply designate where your part begins and credit my part to my blog.

Send link to me in the comments. Keep it a little silly or unrealistic,  in order to stay with the style and mood.

Have a lovely, creative day,

Annie<3

family, funny kids, life, parenting

Funny Pizza Story

I thought this was a funny thing and I guess it is good for kids to have parents with a sense of humor. First a short background tale…

When my older daughter (who is now 18) was very small, maybe 2 years old, her father and I learned our lesson about leaving pizza unattended with her around.

One night we ordered pizza from Dominoes and left it in the living room, where we were going to watch a movie, to go and get paper plates and drinks. We had only been out of the room for a few minutes.

When we returned all of the pepperoni, and all of the cheese was gone from the top of that pizza. Even some of the sauce had been licked off of the slices.

So, there we were left  with a big circle of dough for dinner.

We have recounted that story many times over the years and after that only one of us went to get drinks and the other guarded the pizza. LOL

Tonight I was making dinner . I guess I was multi-tasking of sorts because my daughter (the one in discussion) was in and out chatting with me and showing me the new outfit she had bought with her paycheck. She was very proud of it. It  is really cute and perfect for work, since she really did not have any professional looking clothes for working in a clothing store.

Also in and out, I was chatting on email with a friend and checking my other emails. I guess I was not paying attention to everything that was going on around me.

I had made the pizza and it was cooling. Since I have limited electrical cooking facilities, I have to cook one thing at a time. I was making the side dish, while the pizza sat on the table.

Guess what?

I stopped to get something from the table, and there was the pizza……cheese and pepperoni all gone off of several pieces. I stood there and laughed remembering when she was little. Also I had to laugh at myself a little because I was in the room the entire time and had not noticed her eating all the toppings and cheese off of the pizza.

naked pizza

Good thing for kids when their parents have a sense of humor. Even her sister laughed and I made her a BLT insead. Kids will be kids even at 18.

funny story, life, parenting, short story

Folding Clothes with the Little One

This is a story about my little niece. She was 5 at the time of this story. Very cute and soft spoken.  She loves to fold clothes with me. I don’t think it is the clothes, as much as having my undivided attention.

There are lots of kids in her family and “one on one”  time is on short supply for her.

She always asks me if I have any clothes to fold. One day her grandmother (also the grandmother of my kids) had folded all of my clothes and left them on top of the washer.

Obviously she was trying to be being helpful…but Jade saw them and got all teary eyed. I thought my heart might break right there. 

All this sadness due to a pile of folded clothes….whatever to do?

I told her not worry because I had more clothes upstairs to fold. She said “Really ?”

“yes” I told her “Wait here while I bring these clothes upstairs to my apartment.  Then I will find the unfolded ones. In a few minutes I will call you upstairs to help me fold.”

Well she was very pleased and I made my way up the stairs with the folded clothes. 

I wonder if you have figured this one out yet ?   How well do you know me from reading my blog? What did Aunt Annie do?

Yep. I dumped all those folded clothes all over the floor and messed them all up in a big pile all over the place ! It was fun too.

 My daughter who was 11 at the time, saw me doing that. She is used to seeing me do weird things, but she was still curious. I told her Jade wanted to fold the clothes but your Grandma had already folded them.

Oh ! My daughter thought it was a grand idea !

I called Jade upstairs and she was happy to help me fold them. We had a little chat about all kinds of things.

I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said, “A Mermaid”

funny, funny blog, life

True to Life Math Humor – Funny Conversation

Here is a funny story that I just heard from my daughter. 

This was a conversation between 2 of the guys she goes to church with.  The first guy is 20 years old and the second one is 40 years old. 

Guy number one – “Wow, I am 2o and you are 40 !

Guy number two So?

Guy number one That means I am half your age

Guy number two Yeah

Guy number one –  That means that when I am 50 years old, you will be 100 !

Guy number two  ?