holiday ideas, holidays, life

Amazon shopping … Counting Down…20 hours or 12 hours?

Well it looks like different items have different timers on them. I ordered one that said it had to be ordered within 12 hours and 8 minutes with 2 day shipping to arrive on time. Another item says 20 hours and 15 minutes.

If you have Amazon prime, I think they are still claiming 3 days, but I would order sooner. A couple of years ago, the last minute orders did not arrive on time, even if you ordered within their timer.

My favorite Amazon coupon was from Old Spice which is for body spray.It says, and I quote, “Smellcome to Manhood”

That is the current favorite, As we are counting down, let me know if you see any other funny advertising slogans ! I love to watch the ads and think about the marketing tactics. it is all about psychology. Make them laugh, raise their self-esteem, make them feel guilty, convince them everyone else is doing it, convince them they will be cool to be the first to have it, make them feel clever, put on the pressure that supplies are limited , etc

Ok, back to amazon. Goodnight post forthcoming 🙂


books, holiday anxiety, holiday stress, life

How to Be a Real Man / There are Rules you Know …LOL

Ok, so I am looking on Amazon for Christmas gifts and there it is !  It was in the teenager books section.

Manual of Manhood: How to Cook the Perfect Steak,  Change a Tire , Impress a Girl and 97 Other Things you Need to Survive. 

Besides the fact that I have yet to meet a guy who can do all three of those things,  is this really what it means to be a man?  Do we want to tell our teenage boys that their priority in life is to cook meat and do some peacocking to impress a girl?

I would venture to say that there are a few things that are more important on the priorities list. If I had a son, he could call AAA, eat spaghetti and find a girl that appreciates him for who he is, not what kind of song and dance he puts on. Wow !

These are the things a man needs to “Survive?” I know lots of guys that survive just fine and are not very good at any of these things. What kind of pressure are we putting on our poor teenage boys to be “the picture of manhood?”

OK now, just for fun, I waited until I was writing this post, to look at the chapters in the Amazon sneak peak.  So let’s look together and see what else the author claims is necessary for our boys to grow up into “real men.”…..

Here we go…The author Jonathan Catherman tells our boys that as a  “man in the making ” they will need to know how to do this stuff…

Wear Cologne  Correctly

Throw a Football (wow, that seems a bit of a stretch to learn from reading a book !)

Behave During a Traffic Stop (???)

Fold a Shirt

Grill a Steak

Clean a Bathroom

and … Find a Stud in the Wall

Ok, all you men out there. If you are falling short on any of these , you might not be able to impress me LOL

Just posted this in hopes that a little laughter would reduce your holiday anxiety

Happy Amazon Shopping, only 12 hours and 8 minutes left 🙂 if you are using 2 day shipping!


holiday ideas, holiday poem, holidays, poem, poetry

Join Me for Love – poem

See me

For who I am

What I believe in

What my intent is

Know me

For what I love

What I fear

What i need

Like me

For how I laugh

How I play

How I share

Experience me

For how I listen

How I see

How I touch

Join me

In growing close

Making memories

Creating magic

Love me

For how I think

How much  I give

How I understand you

holidays, life

Going Shopping Yay !

The severe pain episode has finally subsided.I feel much better today. The low pressure system from the storm must have been exasperating the joint inflamation of the arthritis. Arthritis is a terrible thing. People who do not live with it cannot see the pain it causes.

I also have herniated discs in my neck. One of them is pressing towards the right and seems to be getting worse. It pinches on the nerves in my neck and sends pain down my arm and it makes my fingers numb. It is hard for me to type a lot of the time because of the numbness.

So today I feel very much better. You don’t truly appreciate feeling well until you are really sick. The pain I had yesterday which started the night before was tormenting. It started in my neck and then went into my jaw (it does that sometimes) then into my head. I had a headache so bad, I could hardly see. My eyes would not focus.

It was also in the joints of my hips and knees.

So Annie is back now! Ready to make everyone laugh a little and cry a little. 🙂

I am going to take my older daughter (she is 17) to Target to choose Christmas presents for herself. Her father just gave me the allotted money yesterday. He wanted to get it to me sooner but there was a problem with his deposit that was not his fault. He really does try hard and I know he loves the girls.

But now I have his credit card and an allotted amount 🙂 Yay !!!

By the way, I am sure I am unique, in that my ex husband will trust me with his credit card with thousands of dollars on it, and trust me to spend only $100. He has done it for years. He never worries about trusting me.

He knows I do not believe in doing bad things that will bite me on my dupa (that is Polish for ass) later on. Besides I am still good friends with him and I would not do anything to betray the friendship.

So off I go with the credit card to shop!! I am usually very poor. I live well below the poverty level. A credit card with $100 to spend on each kid is sooooooooooooooooooooo exciting to me ! They need shoes and clothes and stuff. I can get them some make up and hair stuff too.

Also it is nice to go out with each of them individually. It is good mommy – daughter time.

I feel like Wilma and Betty in the Flintstones cartoon. Do you remember that? When they would get the credit cards from their husbands (fred and barnie) they would say “Charge ! it!)

So funny.. I had no idea when I was a kid what the heck they meant by charge it LOL

The daughter just poked her head into my bedroom to let me know she is ready to go shopping now. Wish me fun !!

I have to take advantage of a low pain day (well on my scale low is probably not low to others) while the opportunity is here!

Good night post will be forthcoming !


anxiety, christmas, holidays, life, top 10 list

Annie’s Top Ten List – Christmas List for Santa / Top 10 list

What would I want for Christmas if I could pick anything at all?

I thought this would be a good way of thinking about things and taking inventory , if you will, of my brain.

It might be helpful for you to make a list for yourself. It will not be a list that Santa will grant for you or that you may get any of at all. But it will help you to get to know yourself a little better.

1. Peace of mind. This is a phrase which is thrown around all the time. I am sure that different people have completely different ideas of what peace of mind means to them.

When I think  of what it would be like to have peace of mind, I think of feeling calm and not having any anxiety, In order to not have anxiety, I would need to be financially stable, feel healthy and have a deep spirituality.

2. Time to create and connect. I always feel like I am squeezing out bits of time for the things that i love, in between doing the things I need to do in order to survive

. I would love to have unlimited time to create poetry, music, art and to write blogs. I would spend much more time really connecting with other people in a meaningful way.

3. A stronger and more flexible body to do yoga with. I love yoga and I feel better when I make the time to do it. I used to be able to do the postures better and with no pain.

I am losing flexibility and getting in and out of the postures is painful sometimes. I would like to be able to enjoy yoga and be able to progress into more advanced postures.

4, Passion. I want romantic passion and love that is unconditional and selfless. I want to have time to be close and not have to fit it in between all of the survival activities.

5. Magic. I want magic. Magical moments of connection. Magical spiritual experiences. Ability to see all the magic around me. Ability to create magic in people’s lives. The ability to put the ideas of quantum physics and the “power of intention” 

* if you are unfamiliar with quantum physics, please watch “What the Bleep. Down the Rabbit Hole” movie*

6. Home. I have felt homesick for years. I want to live somewhere I feel I belong. A place that I had input on choosing. A place that feels safe and calm. A place that I can be myself. A place that has furniture and decorations that I love and had input in selecting.

7. To be seen. I feel invisible a lot of the time. I feel misunderstood , isolated and alienated. I want to be seen for who I am and have my intentions understood.

8. Humor. I would like to be able to laugh and smile. I would like to be myself and be able to express my sense of humor without being misunderstood. I would like for life to be peaceful enough that there was more room for laughter.

9. Inspiration. I would love to be able to easily access inspiration for creating music, art and writing without being burdened down with anxiety.

10.Acceptance. I want to be accepted for who I am. I want to be myself and not have to struggle to fit into the status quo. I want to not be punished when I think outside the box and do not just go along with what everyone else does.

mental health, poem, poetry

A Quiet Home

A peaceful place

For you and me

A quiet home

For us to be

To sit together

Side by side

Away from the world

So warm inside

A comfortable bed

To rest my head

Warm blankets too

I will have kisses for you

I’ll cook you rice

Fold your clothes nice

We will be together

You have my heart forever


daughter poem, family, holiday poem, life, poem, poetry

With My Own Two Hands / Poem for my daughter

Sirens whiz by on the road outside
Someone unknown to me is in trouble
I say a silent prayer.

The six o’clock news shows a video
People are homeless from a hurricane
I offer a silent prayer.

An accident occurs on the road as I drive
A person is in trouble
I call 911 on my cell.

My daughter spills hair dye on the new sweater
Her grandmother gave her for Christmas.
She cries.

I take her to the store and buy her an identical one
Happy to do it because

at least
for now…
She still has problems I can fix
With my own two hands.

abnormal psychology, anxiety, depression, funny blog, mental disorders, mental health, mental illness, psychology

OCD Germaphobia / Mysophobia – My Thanksgiving Dinner Visiting Horrors

OMG ! I went for Thanksgiving dinner and the hostess really was licking her fingers while finishing tossing the salad for our dinner. Then she spoke to me with this whisper voice because she has laryngitis from being sick.

My last post about germaphobia and the horrors of the holidays came true!

I brought my own towel in my purse, to dry my hands on. I anticipated she would have everyone washing and then drying their hands on the little kitchen towel hanging under the sink that has been there for two weeks.

I started to open her towel drawer to get out a clean one, because I forgot I had brought one from apartment. She gestured to the yucky one. Uhg! Nonono

I remembered the one I had brought from home. I took it out I dried my hands and then hung it from my back pocket, to have it for the next time I washed my hands. (since I have that OCD frequent hand-washing obsession)

I know, I know, it sounds crazy. Other people would use the same tiny hand towel everyone else was. I was the only person with a big bath towel hanging from their back pocket.

But then…..
During the dinner conversation, one of the guests mentioned that she has hepatitis and yellow jaundice.

My towel from home, hanging from my back pocket, is looking pretty good now, huh?

True Story

anxiety, holiday ideas, holiday shopping, holiday stress, holidays, mental disorders, mental health, mental illness

Shopping During the Holidays and Social Anxiety Order

OMG! Holy Crap! What is with these people??

They are everywhere. They are aggressive and impatient. They are rude. They are all on top of me, in front of me and behind me. I hate grocery shopping this time of year. It either gets worse every year or I get more anxiety from it every year.

It starts on the way to the store. There is traffic everywhere and many people think that their holiday errands are more important than everyone else’s. I was driving this evening on a back road with a speed limit of 30 mph.

I was going 35 and this big ass truck is practically in the backseat of my car. The brights were on , as if it isn’t bad enough when a truck is that close and their lights are high enough to be too bright to start with.

I am not going to speed up because some bully guy is driving up on top of my car. It is too dangerous to speed up. I have learned the hard way that it does not satisfy them.

They are stilled annoyed at you from driving the speed limit to start with and will still ride right up on you, You can’t slow back down if you see police or anything or if the road changes to a lower speed limit. They won’t allow you to slow down.

So then I slowed down to turn into the grocery store and he got madder and hit his gas so hard that he scared me whipping around to pass my little car. I can’t stand this kind of bullying.

Then the parking lot at the grocery store is a nightmare. People drive and walk right in front of you. You can’t even get into a parking space. People will hang their car doors open for 5 minutes to talk to someone they just happened to run into. They have one foot in their car while they are standing there blocking the open parking space.

I the store the real zoo begins. You would think these people have never been in a grocery store before. They block the aisles with their cart and don’t try to move at all to let you pass. They will stand in front of whatever food you need to get to and just stand there talking on their cell phone, while you wait.

They can see you, can’t they? Why do they think I am standing behind their cart and waiting?

God forbid you say something to them. They roll their eyes at you for interrupting their conversation. Is their cell phone conversation so important that they had to have it right in front of the frozen pizza case?

In the check-out aisle these people bring 85 coupons with expired dates and argue with the cashier, while the line backs up. Then they write a personal check, that they have not filled the paperwork out at customer service for.

They get frustrated with the poor cashier who is putting up with this for minimum wage. By the time you get to the register, the cashier is all ready to defend themselves.

On the way out, some little kid was playing with a huge orange shovel (the big ones that are for the driveway). His mother is oblivious, while he pushes the thing right towards my feet. He very nearly tripped me as I was trying to get out of the store alive.

Mom finally notices, as he almost knocks down an old woman. Mom does not stop him. She continues holding up the cashier as she talks on the cell phone while checking out her groceries.

What is the deal with people on their cell phones asking the cashier to WAIT A MINUTE while they talk on the phone? Can’t they tell the person on the cell phone to wait a minute?

Where do people’s manners go during the holidays? Maybe it is just in New Jersey. I dont know. People here are not usually considerate to begin with, and it seems to get amplified by the season.

If a car slows down to wave to me, to let me out onto the road, I have to check their licence plate to see if they are from California or some other place. It is so rare for NJ plates to ever let you out in front of them.

I don’t even go to the malls unless my kids really want to. Women turn into aggressive shopping monsters.

Merchandise is knocked onto the floors and it is left there. People actually walk over it or even step on top of it.

They will run on front of you to grab the last Monster High doll right off the shelf in front of you. Even if they saw you reaching for it. (My youngest is a big Monster High fan)

So I don’t know what I was thinking, going to the grocery store at 8pm this evening. I will go back to my midnight grocery shopping. For everything else – THANK GOD FOR AMAZON !

anxiety, christmas, holidays, mental health, mental illness

Holiday Anxiety

Be proactive this holiday season. Make sure you do not lose track of yourself in the midst of all the chores, errands, and worrying about what others want.

Every season, people become depressed and have horrible anxiety. Keep on top of yours from the beginning of the season. Holiday Anxiety and Depression – It is like an infection – It is easier to prevent that to cure it.

Keep your daily schedule reasonable. Don’t try to do more than you can do. You are not a super-hero. It will exhaust you and your resistance to illness, anxiety and depression will go way down.

Keep up with the basics – sleep and rest !!

Remember , people always expect you to do all kinds of things. But they are not aware of what is going on at your job and in other areas of your life. They are also not aware of what is going on in your mind. They do not know the anxiety or depression you are feeling. They cannot be the judge of how much is too much.

You can’t please everyone. In fact, some people will complain anyway, even if you make inhuman efforts to make them happy. Some people could have the whole world and would still complain it is not enough.

You can only do what you can do. You have to know what is reasonable for you. That is all you should try to do. You will just frustrate yourself otherwise. Then on Christmas you will see that one little thing would not have made any difference anyway.

Make time for yourself. Don’t spend every minute you are not working preparing for Christmas. It is not fair to you.

If you would not expect someone else to endure the level of your errands and chores and work schedule, then don’t try to endure it yourself. Cut some things out. Christmas will come and then it will be over in a flash.

Take care of yourself. You deserve to have a good holiday too. Not just all the people who you are trying to satisfy.