adult children with alcoholic parents, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, alcoholic mother, anxiety disorder, Anxiety mental illness, anxiety ptsd, bipolar, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, disfunctional families, emotional abuse, emotional trauma, emotional wounds, healing from narcissistic abuse, mental illness, narcissistic parents, obesissive compulsive disorder, social anxiety, social anxiety disorder

Touch is a fundamental communication between people. It allows us to communicate compassion better that words or facial expression.

Touch is the most important element of bonding and compassion between humans.

There are neurochemical effects of skin to skin touch. Compassionate touch is critical for the brain and the body to be healthy. We need human touch to be well.

We need  human touch in order to have good mental health. People who are touch deprived can develop mental illness.

People with mental illness can become worse from a lack of pleasant  physical touch.

Compassionate touch reduces stress hormones, including cortisol. When someone touches your skin in a pleasant way, it makes you feel calmer and safer. Anxious feelings  can be reduced and your nervous system can be calmed. 

People deprived of pleasant physical touch  can develop high levels of stress hormones.

High levels of stress hormones on a regular basis will cause a condition of severe anxiety disorder. Depression is often a condition that goes hand in hand with anxiety disorders.

“When a person receives a pleasing touch, the hormone oxytocin is released in the brain. Oxytocin is linked with human bonding, socializing and maternal instincts. It helps alleviate anxiety and fear and is critical in trust-building. There is even a specialized part of the nervous system in our skin, known as tactile C fibers, that is specialized to pick up compassionate touch.” Pracha Touch

Physical touch can promote healing in the body and reduce the likelihood for disease and illnesses.

This includes both physical and mental illnesses. Insomnia can be relieved by the hormone balancing effect of skin to skin touch that is pleasant.

Some people with mental illness may have been touch deprived as infants and as children.

There is research about the necessity of touch for proper development and growth.

There was research by John Bowlby and Renee Spitz, during WW II, about the effect of touch on infants. Infants that were orphans, living in institutional settings were not held by the caregivers.

The lack of compassionate touch caused a 75% mortality rate. Also, the infants had a lower weight and length than infants of the same age. They did not develop properly due to the lack of being comforted. The compassionate touch of the mother is comforting to an infant and reduces fear and anxiety of the baby.

Babies need to have their nervous systems regulated by the mother. Infants do not  have the capacity to regulate their own nervous systems. Infants even regulate their breathing with their mother’s breathing. Babies that sleep with their mother have a dramatically lower incidence of infant death syndrome.

If the baby forgets to take a breath, the mothers breath on the baby’s face will cause the baby to draw in a breath. The baby will be calmed by the sound of its mother’s heartbeat.

“In some of the most dramatic new findings, premature infants who were massaged for 15 minutes three times a day gained weight 47 percent faster than others who were left alone in their incubators – the usual practice in the past. The massaged infants also showed signs that the nervous system was maturing more rapidly: they became more active than the other babies and more responsive to such things as a face or a rattle.” Daniel Goleman New York Times

The United States is one of the most touch deprived countries in the world. In studies, we come up second to England

In the 1960s, psychologist Sidney Jourard, studied the conversations of friends in different parts of the world. He observed friends as they spent time together in a café.

In England, the two friends touched each other zero times. In the United States, there was an average of 2 touches during the conversation. But in France, the frequency of touch was 110 times per hour. And in Puerto Rico, the friends touched each other an average of 180 times!

It is possible that the mental health crisis in the US has something to do with the fact that we are a “No-touch” culture.

#domestic abuse, anxiety, chronic illness, chronic pain, Chronic pain and depression, Chronic pain and mental illness, depression, holiday anxiety, Holiday depression, inspiration, invisible illness, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, mental illness blog, narcissistic abuse, post traumatic stress disorder, psychopathic abuse, ptsd, Ptsd from abuse, PTSD from narcissistic abuse

Thanksgiving Meet-up on Gentlekindness Blog

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On Thursday  you are invited to connect with all of us here. Thanksgiving is the first of the holiday season and can trigger depression and anxiety in many people. Others are feeling lonely during the holidays.

If you are feeling alone or just want to connect, you can come here on Thanksgiving. I will create posts during the day that you can leave comments and also leave links to your own posts.

If you want to contribute a Guest Post , A Poem, or a Letter , feel free to do so. If you want me to post something for you, you can contact me at michelemimimish@gmail.com

If you have posts that you want to post the links to, you will see posts you can put them in the comments section of.

Artwork, poetry , details of what you are doing or how you are feeling are all welcome. Everyone is encouraged  to leave kind, thoughtful comments on anything that others leave.

 

anorexia, anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, battered women, bipolar disorder, c-ptsd, chronic illness, chronic pain, Chronic pain and depression, Chronic pain and mental illness, depression, eating disorder, emotional abuse, fibromayalgia, fibromyagia, holiday anxiety, Holiday depression, holiday ideas, insomnia, mental illness

Thanksgiving Blog Meet-Up for My Followers

I am thinking of doing something on the holidays,  here on the blog, for people who find the holidays difficult.

There are many people who read my blog who need some extra support to get through the holidays.

I have seen other bloggers do blog parties where people connect through their blog throughout the day. I was thinking of a “holiday connection day” kind of idea…not so much a party but more like a get-together.

I have nevet done this kind of thing before so if you have any ideas let me know in the comments below.

I want people to have somewhere to connect with me and with each other, in order to be able to talk to other people who understand how difficult the holidays can be.

 

 

 

 

 

affirmations, empowerment, mental health, mental illness, poetry, self love, self-esteem, self-help

Connection

As you are sitting 

Reading this poetry

Quietly trying to make a connection

That is human and significant

You notice the flow of your breath

In and out 

Filling your body

and flowing

to the tips of your toes

and the ends of your fingertips…

You begin to realize

That you can hear the sound of my voice

In your mind

Because

We are all connected

In a human way and in a

Spiritual way that involves

your magnetic energy 

being

Projected from within your heart

Crossing through the barrier of your skin

and bones

And

Lighting up the atmosphere around you

with visible colors…

And as you observe these colors

You are becoming aware that

It is

this very energy

that is

Surrounding your body with warmth

and safety…

As your breath becomes deeper

and your nervous system calms

and regulates with that of my own…

You are beginning to connect

with the reality

that you are not alone…

You are part of a whole

which is all life 

and existence…

And as you feel the power of this connection

 You begin to notice the sensations

in the nerves under your skin

You begin to realize that

You are never really alone

You only have to reach out…

Read someone’s writing

Listen to someone’s song

Hear someone’s story…

In order to create a connection

with their nervous system

and to 

Sync and match

your very own heartbeat

with that 

or another human

who is also living in this existence

with you

depression, insomnia, mental health, mental illness, ocd, poetry, poetry mental illness

Count the Ducks

Insomnia Sucks
I can’t count the ducks
They say to count sheep
It don’t put me to sleep

Imagery is great
But it keeps me up late

Now it’s 6:30
The dishes are dirty
I know I should wash them
But I want to squash them

If this made you smile
Then it was worthwhile

And I know that you know
And you know that I’m so
And that sounded brainless
The sheep are now nameless
My mind is so aimless

Too tired to write stanzas
About what a woman and man does

This poem gets worse
With Each Passing Verse

Or maybe it’s clever
In some profound way
It might change your life
Or just make you say…

“You should go to sleep
You’re brain is not deep
You’re just overtired
And think you’re inspired
But thank you for trying
Your poem I’ll keep”

So now it is time
To count the damn sheep
And if I am able
I’ll fall fast asleep

And while I am sleeping
I’ll dream I’m awake
And when I am waking
I’ll wish I could sleep

The whole silly thing
It just goes round and round
But now I have you
And you know what I mean
When I say…

That I paint the sheep
Red, blue and green
Cause I can’t count them nightly
And sleep so politely

abusive relationships, anxiety, depression, domestic abuse, domestic violence, insomnia, life, mental abuse, narcissist, narcissistic abuse, psychopathic abuse

Time for all good little Insomniacs to try to Sleep

I have had insomnia for a long time now. I am not sure about all of the reasons for it. I do attribute it to PTSD and anxiety. There is also a feeling of not wanting to go to sleep because I do not want to deal with what tomorrow will be like. Things are starting to get better in my life but there is a habit of dreading the next day. 

So I wonder how many other people stay awake to try to put off the inevitability of waking up in the morning. We know rationally that staying up will not change what time we have to wake up or whether or not we have to wake up…yet it feels like we can just stay in the quiet of our room and never have to leave…if we just don’t go to sleep. 

Then we end up sleep deprived and the day is harder than it had to be. As we stay awake later and later, we begin to think about how it will be harder for us tomorrow, if we don’t go to sleep soon. But still…we stay awake and refuse to sleep. 

Once we actually turn things off and try to sleep then comes the next problem. The quiet and the dark are peaceful to some people but…if you come from a background of abuse, mental illness, depression or anxiety…then the quiet is not always peaceful at all. 

In the quiet you can hear the thoughts in your own mind and they can torment you in a way that is hard to explain. Thoughts that involve intrusive negative thoughts, flashbacks, catastrophic thinking, and severe anxiety can become too much. 

So back on goes the laptop, the cell phone, Netflix , YouTube, WordPress or whatever distracts you from your own brain that wants to torment you to death.

So then it is 2 am…3 am…4 am….5 am….and maybe you will sleep before the sun rises because there is something about being awake when the sun begins to show itself …that feels like a defeat. Then on the other hand …sometimes it feels safer to sleep in the daylight than in the night.

If you ever lived in an abusive situation then you can relate to that feeling that sleep makes you vulnerable. You cannot see someone coming up to you…you cannot know if someone is watching you….if you are asleep. So sleep itself can feel like a dangerous thing. 

You begin to wish that you did not have to sleep at all…ever.

That you never had to close off your senses to predators that may approach during the night, while you are not suspecting them. While you are unable to protect and defend yourself. 

If you have PTSD from abuse, it is hard to shake that feeling that being asleep is unsafe…even when that person that you once feared sleeping in the same house with, is no longer a threat. But the threat can still live in your mind as if it is a living thing. 

So once again I bid you all good night and wish you peace of mind…as I wish myself peace of mind too. 

Much love,

Annie

anxiety, depression, insomnia, life, mental illness, poetry, spoken word

Insomnia Sucks – Humorous Insomnia Poem

Insomnia Sucks
I can’t count the ducks
They say to count sheep
It don’t put me to sleep

Imagery is great
But it keeps me up late

Now it’s 6:30
The dishes are dirty
I know I should wash them
But I want to squash them

If this made you smile
Then it was worthwhile

And I know that you know
And you know that I’m so
And that sounded brainless
The sheep are now nameless
My mind is so aimless

Too tired to write stanzas
About what a woman and man does

This poem gets worse
With each Passing Verse

Or maybe it’s clever
In some profound way
It might change your life
Or just make you say…

“You should go to sleep
You’re brain is not deep
You’re just overtired
And think you’re inspired
But thank you for trying
Your poem I’ll keep”

So now it is time
To count the damn sheep
And if I am able
I’ll fall fast asleep

And while I am sleeping
I’ll dream I’m awake
And when I am waking
I’ll wish I could sleep

The whole silly thing
It just goes round and round
But now I have you
And you know what I mean
When I say…

That I paint the sheep
Red, blue and green
Cause I can’t count them nightly
And sleep so politely

bipolar, bipolar disorder, insomnia, life, mental health, mental illness

Insomnia from hell

10:30 am. I have not slept all night.

The pain meds are working now for the sciatic pain I was having before. But why am I still awake.

I do not want to be driving with my kids in the car on no sleep….

Maybe I have to say no kids come out with me today. Bad enough if I have to drive….

Anxiety mental illness, depression, life

Depression and Difficulty with Daily Tasks

If you are in depression then it will be very difficult for you to keep up with day to day things. You probably want to stay in bed and forget that things need to get done.

Forgetting does not really work and soon you will be attacked with anxiety on top of the depression.  The combination of the anxiety and depression can be torturous.

So, you have to forgive yourself for not being able to get everything done, and scale down the tasks to the minimum.  Just do the most critical things and break them up into smaller bits and pieces. Some things require several steps, so you can write out the steps and then do one today.

I know what it feels like to just want to leave everything undone and crawl back into bed. You may only be able to do 15 minutes or 30 minutes at a time. If it is only 10 minutes then that is the way it is today.

People will probably complain to you because they do not understand. Sadly that is something that most people with mental illness have to endure, on top of the suffering we are experiencing. 

Everything does not have to be done at once, or back to back. Take breaks in between to do something therapeutic for yourself.

You have to be your own nurse, parent, nutritionist and physical therapist.

Try to eat a little out of each food group. If you can’t then perhaps try Ensure or Boost drinks. It is important to keep your strength up with vitamins.

Get some exercise even if it is sitting on the floor and doing stretches. The limited mobility will make your muscles stiff and uncomfortable.

Write a list of things and then taper it down to just very necessary things. Do them one at a time and take care of yourself in between.

Depression is a real illness. It is just as real as any other disease or illness.

Take care of yourself.  Try to get a bit of sunshine.  It will help regulate your your sleep / wake cycles. This will combat insomnia.

Blessings,

Annie