This is my offering for World Suicide Prevention Day. I actually wrote this yesterday on September 10 which was the day. I was not able to upload it until today. Enjoy the song and pass it along.
Blessings,
Annie
Tag: mental illness poetry
Madness of Mental Abuse
If I sit very still
and breath very softly
I can still hear
the sound
of your insanity
The way it went right
into my nervous system
like a thousand volts
of death…
In the insidious
blackness that comes
If I sit very quietly
I can hear your screaming
Your act upon my stage
that was as real
to my mind
as the blood
coursing through
my veins
Every graphic detail
entering my senses…
Tearing apart my soul
If I sit very quietly
in the darkness
of the 3 am hour
Before the sun rises
Before life renews
I can hear your screaming
Threatening me
that you will stab the scissors
through your neck…
Impale the blade
straight through my heart
Splattering your blood
in my mind
With utter terror
and surreal horror
That would make anyone
teater on the edge
of their own
precarious sanity…
If I sit very quietly
in the darkness of night
the fear attacks my mind
I hear your voice inside
The way it sounded
on the phone..
Desperate and angry
Intentionally drawing me
to the edge of madness..
Your life
seemingly hanging
in the ragged net
that you handed me
to hold …
Demanding that
I do not fail…
What is more frightening?
Dare I ask the question
that plagues me?
Do I dare?
Ask the question?
The question that taunts me
and laughs at me…
Tempts me to dance
with its shadow
Like a psychopathic lover
grabbing my wrists
too hard…
What is the more terrifying reality?
That you were disturbed enough
to place the blade
of rusting scissors
against your neck?
Or that there were never
any scissors there?
Black Sun
Dear sun, rise up yellow
You are supposed to
I am told
The sun that
rises up yellow
Sooths and warms
the soul
Sun rises up yellow
when reality seems
safe
Oh Sun, don’t rise up black
Malicious, dark
and threatening
Sun, don’t rise up black
mental confusion
emotional disillusionment
Sun, don’t rise up black
Darkness permeates all
life is untrustworthy
Sun rises black
when there is a
feeling of hopelessness
Sun rises up black
when there is a generalization
of deceit, untruth, malice
Sun sometimes rises green
to tell you it is time
to begin to change your mind
Sun sometimes rises up green
to call to you
time to take a step again
Sun rises green to sing
a lullaby to your
reality of darkness
Black sun reality
is confirmed
by our perception
Black sun reality
is impregnated by
deception
Yellow sun is wise
it shows the color
of caution
Yellow sun is clarity
self confident
explorative, seeking
Yellow sun rises
fortified with knowledge
wisdom from experience
What about the red?
Red sun is an alarm
Warns you to detach a bit
and evaluate
Red sun is the amygdala
fight or flight
Stressor state
Red sun can be headed
in calmness intelligence
and esteem
Red sun can be
reacted to with panic
abhorrence, or denial
Red sun is followed
by another color
Yellow sun or black
Green sun invites you
to try again
to head the red next time
Green sun is when
your brain perceives
it is ok to go
Don’t stay
in the dark reality
the black sun brings
You will miss the warmth
of the yellow sun
and deprive others as well
Each experience teaches
something you need
you didn’t have before
You can stay in your cave
for a little while
but leave the curtains open
The sun might change
Beckon to your soul
to come out and try again
My Brain on Visual Poetry
NOiSy CLocK…Spoken word Poetry
The clock ticks on
tick tick
The hands
go round
round and round
The time elapses
tick tock
‘Till I feel drowned
That heartless clock
Tick tick
I turn away
tick tick
To make it stop
Stop. STOP!
I want to rest
And
what I want
is…
for time to stop!
Just for an hour
Let me catch up
I need to rest…
I have become
tick tick
Simply exhausted
tick tock
This linear time
tick tick
Torments my mind
tock tick
I want to change
tock tick
I know it’s strange
tick tock tick tock tick tock
For god’s sake! , Enough already, with the tick tick tock tock
Tock tick tock tick NOW STOP!
SSHHHHH!
sshhhh!
shhh!
shh!
Quieter
Be very quiet
whisper
very
very
very
softly
s o f t l y
Be very still
Untie your mind
Just turn away
Pretend you’re blind
Pretend you’re deaf
Become oblivious
and now…
you will find…
The clock has stopped
{finally)
I made it so
(I think I did)
It needed a “time out”
(time out)
to save my soul…
(my tortured soul)
Just let me rest…
I’m very tired
No tick , no tock
No tock , no tick
no tick tock tick tock tock tick tock tick
Universal silence
Universal bliss
Be very still
Shhh!
Don’t wake up
the clock
Don’t wake him up
I don’t want to hear
That NOISY CLOCK
