depression, guitar, life, mental health, mental illness, music, poetry, songs out mental illness, suicude

Song for World Suicide Prevention Day I wrote yesterday – Everyone is Too Young for Suicide

This is my offering for World Suicide Prevention Day. I actually wrote this yesterday on September 10 which was the day. I was not able to upload it until  today. Enjoy the song and pass it along.

Blessings,

Annie

dark poetry, life, mental illness, mental illness poetry, poetry

Madness of Mental Abuse

If I sit very still
and breath very softly
I can still hear
the sound
of your insanity
The way it went right
into my nervous system
like a thousand volts
of death…
In the insidious
blackness that comes
If I sit very quietly
I can hear your screaming
Your act upon my stage
that was as real
to my mind
as the blood
coursing through
my veins
Every graphic detail
entering my senses…
Tearing apart my soul
If I sit very quietly
in the darkness
of the 3 am hour
Before the sun rises
Before life renews
I can hear your screaming
Threatening me
that you will stab the scissors
through your neck…
Impale the blade
straight through my heart
Splattering your blood
in my mind
With utter terror
and surreal horror
That would make anyone
teater on the edge
of their own
precarious sanity…
If I sit very quietly
in the darkness of night
the fear attacks my mind
I hear your voice inside
The way it sounded
on the phone..
Desperate and angry
Intentionally drawing me
to the edge of madness..
Your life
seemingly hanging
in the ragged net
that you handed me
to hold …
Demanding that
I do not fail…
What is more frightening?
Dare I ask the question
that plagues me?
Do I dare?
Ask the question?
The question that taunts me
and laughs at me…
Tempts me to dance
with its shadow
Like a psychopathic lover
grabbing my wrists
too hard…
What is the more terrifying reality?
That you were disturbed enough
to place the blade
of rusting scissors
against your neck?
Or that there were never
any scissors there?

domestic abuse, life, mental health, mental illness, narcissistic abuse, poem, poetry

Black Sun

Dear sun, rise up yellow
You are supposed to
I am told

The sun that
rises up yellow
Sooths and warms
the soul

Sun rises up yellow
when reality seems
safe

Oh Sun, don’t rise up black
Malicious, dark
and threatening

Sun, don’t rise up black
mental confusion
emotional disillusionment

Sun, don’t rise up black
Darkness permeates all
life is untrustworthy

Sun rises black
when there is a
feeling of hopelessness

Sun rises up black
when there is a generalization
of deceit, untruth, malice

Sun sometimes rises green
to tell you it is time
to begin to change your mind

Sun sometimes rises up green
to call to you
time to take a step again

Sun rises green to sing
a lullaby to your
reality of darkness

Black sun reality
is confirmed
by our perception

Black sun reality
is impregnated by
deception

Yellow sun is wise
it shows the color
of caution

Yellow sun is clarity
self confident
explorative, seeking

Yellow sun rises
fortified with knowledge
wisdom from experience

What about the red?

Red sun is an alarm
Warns you to detach a bit
and evaluate

Red sun is the amygdala
fight or flight
Stressor state

Red sun can be headed
in calmness intelligence
and esteem

Red sun can be
reacted to with panic
abhorrence, or denial

Red sun is followed
by another color
Yellow sun or black

Green sun invites you
to try again
to head the red next time

Green sun is when
your brain perceives
it is ok to go

Don’t stay
in the dark reality
the black sun brings

You will miss the warmth
of the yellow sun
and deprive others as well

Each experience teaches
something you need
you didn’t have before

You can stay in your cave
for a little while
but leave the curtains open

The sun might change
Beckon to your soul
to come out and try again

anxiety, anxiety attack, dark poetry, mental disorders, mental health blog, mental illness, mental illness blog, poetry

NOiSy CLocK…Spoken word Poetry

The clock ticks on

tick tick

The hands

go round

round and round

The time elapses

tick tock

‘Till I feel drowned

That heartless clock

Tick tick

I turn away

tick tick

To make it stop

Stop. STOP!

I want to rest

And

what  I want

is…

for time to stop!

Just for an hour

Let me catch up

I need to rest…

I have  become

tick tick

Simply exhausted

tick tock

This linear time

tick tick

Torments my mind

tock tick

I want to change

tock tick

 I know it’s strange

tick tock tick tock tick tock

For god’s sake! , Enough already, with the tick tick tock tock

Tock tick tock tick NOW STOP!

SSHHHHH!

sshhhh!

shhh!

shh!

Quieter

Be very quiet

whisper

very

very

very

softly

s  o   f   t   l   y

Be very still

Untie your mind

Just turn away

Pretend you’re blind

Pretend you’re deaf

Become oblivious

and now…

you will find…

The clock has stopped

{finally)

I made it so

(I think I did)

It needed a “time out”

(time out)

to save my soul…

(my tortured soul)

Just let me rest…

I’m very tired

No tick , no tock

No tock , no tick

no tick tock tick tock tock tick tock tick

Universal silence

Universal bliss

Be very still

Shhh!

Don’t wake up

the clock

Don’t wake him up

I don’t want to hear

That NOISY CLOCK