life, mental health, mental illness, self-esteem, self-help, working mother

You are More Than They Tell You

you are more

People around us, especially our family members can tend to underestimate us and place us in a box of what they think they know about us.

Families gossip and talk about other members. There ends up being a perception of each person in the family that is carried by most of the family members.

Then it is passed on as factual  information to other family members but it is not factual. It is opinions of other people about you. This is the perpetuation of your narrative, and your picture as others see you.

You may be disappointed when you bring up an idea to your family or friends of something new you want to try or something you want to be. They still have you in their box, that lives in their heads and will tell you who you are and that you are not suited to do anything other than what you have always done.

Not only that, they are not even aware of all the things you have done, or all the skills you have. You have done things that were not in front in front of them that they know nothing about.

In fact, people get so stuck in their perceptions that you could do something right in front of them that shows a new side of you and they will not even process it.

You are capable of doing more than you are already doing. You are capable of being more than you have been allowed to be. You have potential for all sorts of things. If it is something that you feel called to do, then you can find a way to meet that calling.

Don’t let people put you in a box and keep you there. If they insist in keeping you in a box that exists in their heads, then so be it. Let that box exists for them. You do not have to live in it.

You do not need the approval of family or your friends to expand yourself and begin to reach out for the things you really want in life. There is no point in your life that you cannot grow, learn, and change. You are not stuck with the You that others see.

Sometimes it is best not even to tell people what you are working on or studying. If you know they will discourage you and bring you down, then you may want to keep some of your dreams and ventures to yourself. You do  not have to have their support.

If you feel that you need some guidance, support or inspiration you can seek that outside of your family and friends. You can find people on line to talk to.

You can find a great Life Coach that specializes in the area you are working on. There may be support groups and networking groups online and even in your community.

Do not limit yourself to who other people tell you that you are. Do not accept your rank within your siblings, to be your rank in the world. Do not accept your role within your family to be your role in society.

You are unique and special, with special gifts. If your family does not think you can be anymore than they see you as right now, then they are wrong. You can find your own personal strengths. Some of them might even be the very things your family or friends consider your weaknesses.

If one of your siblings is a writer and the family considers them “the writer” of the family, that has nothing to do with whether or not you can become a writer. If your cousin is considered “the teacher” of the family, that does not have anything to do with whether or not you can be an amazing teacher.

No one in the family has the right to claim a role and then say than you have to settle for a different one. It does happen within the family, but it does not have to translate to your interaction with the world.

Just because you are not in a leadership role in the family, does not mean that you cannot take a leadership role outside of the family. Just because the family may call you the less intelligent one, or the lazy one does not make it true. These are just labels that they chose to put on you, in order to further the agenda of the family.

Some people in your family may even have been telling you that you cannot accomplish things, just to keep you down. There are advantages for certain kinds of people, in crushing down another family member’s self esteem.

You can pursue whatever you dream to pursue and become good at it. You can try different things until you find what calls to you.

Don’t let other people tell you who you are and who you are not. It is not up to them. Spread your wings and fly the direction that you want to.