Re-framing Traumatic Memories and Re-Wiring False Beliefs

As children we are taught how to see the world. The meanings of incidents and events are programmed into us, along with false beliefs that we carry into adulthood.

We have held onto certain beliefs for a long time and cannot always see that we need to re-assess them. 

All beliefs that we were taught are not true. Believing and following along blindly is not something you have to do. 

Respect your intuition and prioritize your gut feelings. 

Trauma can cause the brain to hold those memories in a way that they are integrated properly, thus causing emotional flashbacks. Emotional flashbacks are triggered by things that remind our subconscious of the memory.

We can learn to re-frame memories, using NLP techniques.

This way we can attach new meaning to those memories, rather than holding onto the meaning that other people out into our brain. 

We can also re-wire false beliefs that we are holding to, that are no longer serving us, or that were never serving us in a healthy way.

It is your brain and you have the right to frame the memories the way that supports you best. Truth and reality are dependent upon many things. 

Enjoy this video and learn some NLP techniques that you can use. For more information about NLP, hypnosis for trauma, and coaching for overcoming narcissistic abuse, and abusive relationships, you can visit the gentlekindness face book page and also the web site. 

Also follow the YouTube channel  for more videos about overcoming abuse, and dealing with pathological people. 

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Our Thoughts are not All Serving Us

perception

When we are born into this world we have no lack of self esteem. We do not doubt whether or not we deserve to be cared for. The thoughts that we have as adults of low self esteem, lack of self confidence. unworthiness, doubting ourselves, and even doubting the safety of our environment are all things that are programmed into us by other people.

We can end up with depression and anxiety disorder due to the wiring in our brains that other people put there.

Our thoughts are not who we are. It is easy to think of ourselves as our feelings and our thoughts, but the truth is that feelings and thoughts can be altered and changed. Other people can cause us pain and they can feed thoughts to our brains.

believe

You are who you are inside. You are the same person that you were born as. There is an inner part of you that is not tangible. It is the real self that does not change. It is the self that has value and worth. no matter what else happens or what thoughts you notice you are having.

You do not have to attach to all of your thoughts. Realize that many of them were forced upon you when you were a child and others of them were conditioned into you over time. Any thoughts you have that are negative about yourself, or doubting yourself. are bad programming.

out of mind

Try to notice your thoughts and observe them in an objective way sometimes. If you can observe them as something separate from your true self, then you can ask questions about them. Take one particular thought and see if it is true. Did you decide that it was true ir did someone else tell you it was true?

You can decide that certain thoughts and thought patterns no longer serve you. Something like “I am not good enough for my family” is not serving you. You can write down the negative thoughts on a piece of paper and then look at them from an outside perspective. Bring them outside of your head and onto paper. 

Then see what no longer serves you. Some thought patterns were designed by your brain to protect you as a child or in some on-going situation where your brain felt you were threatened. See what purpose the thought serves and if it is really true. 

tornado

You can be in charge of your own brain. There are ways to alter memories and perspectives about things. You can learn how to do this or get someone to help you. NLP hypnosis is one way that can help with this. Other times compassionate conversation about the negative thoughts and feelings can help. 

Seeing your thoughts as something that is a separate entity from your original and true self can help you to evaluate them. There is no reason that someone else should feel that they have value and purpose in the world but you do not. You have just as much worth as anyone else does. 

We are programmed with thoughts and our feelings are manipulated by certain people who want to maintain their own agenda which is about them and not us. Some people have wanted to alter your behavior and the most effective way was to alter how you saw yourself in relation to them and to the world. 

depression hurts

You do not have to keep any programming that was put into you that no longer serves you, or that never served you in a healthy way. 

Blessings, 

Annie

If you want coaching or NLP hypnosis you can contact me at my web site gentlekindnesscoaching.com

If you mention this post your first 20 minute session will be free. 

Depression Feels Like it Surrounds You – Some NLP Techniques Might Help

stormy sky

Depression can feel like there are dark storm clouds all around you. They feel like they are closing in and there is no way out. Depression can feel like it is coming in at you from the outside, although we know the feelings are being generated from the inside. 

storm drving 2

There is no way to see the sun or any hope beyond the heavy feeling of the depression piling on top of us. This depression can feel like an ominous being that had captured us in its clutches. It can feel like the clouds of darkness are choosing to surround us rather than the people around us. 

storm writing prompt

It can feel like the depression is settling upon our home, our bedroom, our brain, our heart or around our body. It is perceived differently by different people. But there is often this feeling of the depression being around us, on top of us and putting weight in us that makes it feel hard to move our bodies in space. 

One idea that sometimes can help is to take ourselves out of the depression clouds by changing our point of view and perception just for a few minutes.

We can detach from this picture we have of the depression surrounding us by taking ourselves out of the “first person” of our story. 

We all tell our own story every day. There is a kind of narrative playing in our brains. Each thing that happens in our narrative had a meaning to us. 

There is a type of NLP technique that we can try which is to make ourselves the observer of this narrative.

Picture that you are watching the story from the outside. You are watching it as you would watch a tv show or a YouTube Video. For this few minutes you are in within the clutches of the depression all around you, but you are without ….you are outside of the entire story all together. 

Emotionally Detach From What You are Watching So You Can Observe

In order to detach from feeling too much negative emotion while watching yourself in the story, you can control the volume, the vividness of color and the distance this “tv” or “Movie screen” you are watching this on. Reduce the volume, make the colors different, and push the screen away from you until you feel more detached like an audience, rather than the main character in the story.

From this outside, detached point of view we can see what meaning we assign to different things is our story. Let’s say that in our story we lost our job or were yelled at by the boss. As an outside observer of the story we can see what meaning the main character (that is us) is attaching to these events of losing our job or being yelled at.

Look at the main character as if you are not emotionally attached to them. You are seeing yourself as a neutral character in a story. But observe how this character assigns meaning to these events. 

What meaning did she assign to losing her job? Does she feel this means she is worthless? Does she feel this means she will continue to become more financially devastated and that it was her destiny to become financially devastated?

What meaning does he assign to getting yelled at by the boss? Does he feel he is inadequate? Does he feel that he was yelled at because he cannot fit in with other people?

Once we see what meaning we are assigning to events in out story, we can question these meanings. Did we assign meanings to these events that are accurate? Are we sure these meanings can be proven? Can they be disproven? Has there ever been any evidence in this main character that they are not useless?

Has anyone ever told this main character that they were useful, wanted or skillful and intelligent? Is there any way we can counter the negative meaning the main character in our story has assigned to different things?

This practice of coming outside of our narrative can help our brains to get out of certain learned behaviors. Our brains will go into the usual behaviors that they are used to but these are not always helpful behaviors for our brains to do. These are learned behaviors and are sometimes developed out of post traumatic stress. 

Our brains are designed to scan for danger and to take us away from what the brain perceives as danger. When that danger seems to be all around us, our brain has  no where to take us but deep inside of ourselves. There is no where else to run away to.

So this practice of mentally removing ourselves from the “first person” in the story and taking the point of view of the third person, can make us an audience to our own brains and what our brains have been wired to do. It is good to ask questions about what thoughts our brains are thinking.

Sometimes thoughts are reactive, which means they are reactions to triggers.

These are learned brain behaviors almost like an addiction. The brain has been used to thinking certain kinds of thoughts in response to certain kinds of triggers and feelings of threat.

Practice this technique for five to ten minutes, a few times a day. Ask questions about the meaning that you attach to events and other things in your life. If you are living below your desired living level..what meaning does your brain assign to this? Then ask if it is necessarily true? Why is it true? What other meaning might you be able to choose to assign to this?

This practice is cognitive work. This cognitive work can take you out of the feelings of depression while you are doing it. The brain cannot focus on more than one thing at a time with a lot of power.

There is a primary focus of the brain. If your primary focus is on this cognitive kind of practice then some of the fuel will be drawn away from the emotional overload that the brain was caught up in.

The more we question our own thoughts, the more we can seek truth. The truth about ourselves is that we have innate value. Other people do not assign value to us. They have no control over our actual value. 

Our actions and accomplishments do not determine our innate value either. So question the meaning you have been used to assigning to things in your life. Things that happen do not take away the fact that you are valuable and special because of the person that you are.

Blessings,

Annie<3

Triggers, Emotional Flashbacks and PTSD

Triggers suck.

For people into NLP triggers are called NLP anchors. The difference is that NLP anchors can be good or bad. They might be pre- existing from a past trauma or created to ease the effects of trauma.

They can be put into your mind intentionally to bring about a certain mood or mental state. This is a functional or a therapeutical use for them.

Back in the days of Pavlov, triggers were discovered as a tool for behavioral modification. You know…Pavlov’s dog.

Every time Pavlov fed the dog, he rang a bell first. After a while the dog salivated at the sound of the bell even without the food being presented.

This is how our minds create associations between certain triggers and a corresponding emotional response.

I have ring tones that I hate the sound of. There are songs I cannot listen to.

Certain animals are disturbing to me. Certain situations make me have an anxiety attack.

Some triggers are related to incidents and some are related to specific poem. Some triggers are related to time periods or ongoing abuse. Others are related to break ups from our ex.

There are some triggers that we are well aware of where they come. Other ones may be related to trauma from our past from when we were very young or even infants.

There may be triggers that create emotional flashbacks for you that are from periods of time that you have blacked out from your mind…or I should say that your brain blocked them out in order to protect you.

Triggers can come out of nowhere unexpectedly. We can try to avoid certain known triggers such as my not using certain alarms and ring tones on my phone.

Although every so often I am out somewhere and a stranger’s phone rings with the very ring tone that is now taboo on my cell phone.

There are times when we suddenly feel severe anxiety and have no idea what caused the onset. This can sometimes be an emotional flashback to a trigger we are unaware of.

That is a very tricky one to figure out. You would have to write down all the sights, smells and circumstances that were around at the time of the anxiety attack.

You would have to keep a log of those things each time you had an unexpected, unexplainable anxiety attack. Then look for anything in common between them that was never part of your environment when you are calm.

To make it even more complex, triggers can have more than one component to them. It might not be candlelight or the smell of roses individually that triggers you. It could be the combination of the two of them that does it.

Certain emotional triggers can be healed or at least the effect can be lessened through NLP techniques. Other ones may be harder to deal with than others.

The ones that we cannot identify or do not know what they were caused by are the worst ones in a way. At least as far as there being any hope for treatment.

The more severe the trauma, the more severe the pain from being triggered.

I know many other people deal with this on a day to day basis. For some people certain dates or times of the year are triggers for emotional pain, depression and anxiety.

If you have triggers like I have described here then you have some form of PTSD. It could be straight PTSD or Complex PTSD.  People often have both.

Talking about your triggers or unexplained emotional brain attacks is the first step to healing or at least lessoning the feeling of alienation or isolation due to PTSD or Complex PTSD.

Know you are not alone. There are others of us that understand.

Emotionally Manipulative People / NLP Techniques for Dealing with Reaction Seeking Behavior

Derenn Brown Makes Woman ColorBlind Magic Trick with NLP / This is so Cool !

This has got to be one of the coolest things I have ever seen !! This guy performs a kind of magic trick on this random lady in a restaraunt. He uses an NLP technique to cause her to become temporarily color blind.

The technique he uses involves using placement in the space in your mind of certain kinds of beliefs. He has her picture a non solid idea on the left hand side. Her idea which she is not sure about happens to be whether or not she can do well in her college classes.

The he has her picture a solid belief on her right hand side. He certain belief is the house she lives in and the location of her house.

Then he brings the uncertain idea about doing well in college  from the left hand side to the right hand side. This makes her mind associate the uncertain idea with a certain and solid idea space.

Then he brings out 4 color cards and begins to ask her about the colors and how certain she is about those colors.

And the rest……you have to watch this !!

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