life, mental health, mental illness

Introverted people and Social Anxiety and Depression

Introverted people that have severe anxiety and social anxiety are at risk for depression. The reason for this is that we cannot get the time to ourselves that we need.

We need time to reflect and be quiet and thoughtful. We need to cry by ourselves sometimes. We need to have time away from other people, especially groups of people and individuals who are triggering to our anxiety.

People often think they are being helpful when they try to drag us to social things and force us to be interactive. We are perfectly capable of one on one interaction. Introverted people are not necessarily shy. We are not antisocial. We can go up to new people and introduce ourselves just fine.

I personally like one on one interaction with certain types of people. But being in a crowd of a room full of people , is very uncomfortable to me. Even going to a restaurant with the family, is too much social anxiety for me.

I am happy to go shopping with one of my daughters. I love talking to people on wordpress because it is a one on one interaction.

Introverted people like to choose who they interact with and not have people forced upon us. I do not like when someone brings someone up to me at a random time, and forces me to interact with them , on the spur of the moment. I like to have a warning first, i order to have some time for mental preparation.

I hate when friends or neighbor just show up at my house, knock on the door and want to me to answer the door. I like my meetings with everyone to be scheduled or planned somehow.

If I am in a group interaction, like Christmas family stuff, I have to take breaks and go to a room alone. I tried this tactic this year on christmas and it worked very well. Every hour or so, I left the main area and went to a quiet room. I checked my wordpress for comment and interacted with people on here for 10  minutes, I sat quietly for another 5 minutes. The I was ok and could go back into the main room and interact for a little while.

Introverted people like to have conversations that are meaningful. We do not enjoy small talk about the weather or annoying gossip about other people. To me, those shallow interactions feel like they are wasting my time. I would rather be alone than have to act like I am cheerful and play the social game, which is stressful. Partially it is stressful to me because it is so mind numbingly boring to me.

Shallow group interactions are also anxiety triggering to me , because I cannot navigate all of the interactions going on in the room. I feel a tremendous sensory overload with a lot of conversations going on and I have to pick one to join . I do not always say the right things and I come off differently than I intend to.

I do not understand or really care about, the social dynamics of a group like that. It is just too much and I want to leave.

Depression sets in when people do not allow you to get a break. Depression sets in when you are forced into too much social interaction and do not have a “time out” to regroup your brain.

I am very good with my old people that are my patients. When I interact with them one on one, I can make meaningful connections with them. They are always happy to see me, when I come to work.

The family members of the patients love to see me come to work. They often will request that I be the one to take care of their Mom or dad , for the evening. The family members will go to the nurses desk and request to have their aid changed to be me.

However, I get scolded by my supervisors because I do not always do what the other workers are doing. I think for myself and do my job very well, But the lack of being able to tolerate group interaction is beginning to put my job in danger.

I do not always understand the social protocol. I just like to interact with everyone as if we are all brothers an sisters that love each other. I like to talk to people and communicate about feelings and thoughts.

This is not always within the Social norm or the conformity system.

Introverted people that have post traumatic stress have trouble not breaking down and crying in the middle of social overload. We have to take a time out. We have no control in those events and situations about triggers. There is often music playing that is a flashback trigger to me. Everyone is having fun singing the songs, but I want to melt away into the floor and not have to listen to it.

You can’t always sit in a nice quiet part of the room. because people think they are helping you by drawing you out. They think you are either antisocial and rude, or they think you are shy and need help to get involved. Neither of which is true at all.

I just want to be in the quiet corner. I am happier there. I am not necessarily lonely or craving people to be around me. I like to be in my bedroom. by myself. My boyfriend can call and I can talk to him, but still be in the peace and quiet of my room. It is a place for me to organize my thoughts and my brain patterns.

I get depressed when I have to continuously interact with people over a period of days. I have to interact at work, so when I come home, I have used up my social tolerance . It is extremely stressful for people to be waiting to talk to me at my house. (I do not mean my kids)

When I get home at midnight, I am done interacting for the day. Also on my day off, I need time to myself.

When people keep invading me and do not respect my introverted needs, I begin to go into severe anxiety and depression

So if you are like me, please set boundaries and insist that people respect them. The people I live with are bad with any kind of boundaries. They do not understand them, So lately I have given up trying to explain it to them. I just say NO to things and let them be upset or think I am rude.

It is not my fault or my problem  that they think I am rude for saying NO to certain kinds of activities. I cannot maintain my mental stability at all, if I have to be forced by the extroverts to be cheerful and socialble.

Namaste,

Annie

abnormal psychology, addiction, death, life, mental health, mental illness, psychology

Suicide , Suicide Attempts and Self Harm

I feel that I should start this post with the following information.

Lifeline, the national suicide prevention hotline for USA

Phone: If you are in crisis you can call anytime  1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Website: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention http://www.afsp.org/

Below is a link for the National Institute for Mental health , section on suicide prevention

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/suicide-prevention/index.shtml

If you are not in the USA then there are international suicide hotlines to call. The responders to the calls are trained in suicide prevention and know about mental illness.

Suicide is in the top ten list for causes of death in the United States. Unfortunately, it claims more lives each year than the year before. This is an epidemic which deserves attention and research to find solutions.

There are about 1 million suicide attempts each year in the US and the numbers continue to rise. If you feel alone in considering suicide, you are not. There are people right now, like you, that feel alone and do not know how to reach out to for help.

Many suicides are people who had a mental illness that was not being treated. It is possible that treatment could have saved their lives.

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, someone commits suicide about every 14 minutes, in the United States. This is about  40,000 lives lost every year.

Adolescent suicide is a reality that many people want to ignore and pretend that it does not exist.

According to the National Institute for Mental Health,

” Suicide is the second leading cause of death among teens aged 12-17, accounting for about 1,000 deaths in 2011 . A 2013 survey indicated that as many as 2.7 percent of high school students nationwide made a suicide attempt”

It is difficult to gather exact statistics about self harm because many people, including teens and preteens , do not tell anyone about their self harm behaviors. It is their way of feeling some power over their circumstances, when they otherwise feel powerless. It is often a secret kept from family and friends.

There is research that estimates that 14-24 percent of adolescents have self harmed at least once. Many of them have done it many times and continue to do so.

Make no mistake, self harm is a big red flag! If someone you know is injuring themselves then they are at risk for suicide.

A recent study by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration found that one in five Americans is living with some type of mental health condition. Mental illness like depression, severe anxiety, PTSD , bipolar disorder and many others can be a risk factor for self harm or suicide.

The stress response known as fight-or-flight is driven by the stress hormone cortisol, which is regulated by a part of the neuroendocrine system called the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis.

There is research that shows that there can be a genetic predisposition to suicide and suicide attempts. There is a great article which gives all the specifics in the link below.

http://www.afsp.org/research/research-connection/stress-and-genes-linked-to-suicide-attempts

If you are wondering about the symptoms of yourself or someone else, there are some suicide warning signs that are critical to know.

Someone who talks about the following things, is a possible suicide risk:

  • Killing themselves.
  • Having no reason to live.
  • Being a burden to others.
  • Feeling trapped.
  • Unbearable pain.

Other behaviors that should alert your attention include:

loss of interest in activities they love, self-isolation from family and friends, giving away important possessions and making phone calls to people that sound like they are saying goodbye to them.

Each of those people leaves an average of 6 family members and close friends who are traumatized by the suicide. So if you are a survivor of the suicide of a loves one, you are not alone. There is help for you.

Suicide  of a loved one is extremely traumatizing and can cause PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), depression, and severe anxiety. In another words, you may be suffering from mental illness now, if you survived the suicide of a family member or a friend.

The links below will give you a beginning to finding ways to get help for your trauma. Find a way to seek help if you feel like you need it.

http://www.afsp.org/coping-with-suicide-loss

http://www.afsp.org/coping-with-suicide-loss/find-support

http://www.afsp.org/coping-with-suicide-loss/find-support/join-the-survivor-e-network

There are medications for depression and other mental illnesses. There are many kinds of  therapists. For some people , therapy is very helpful.

There are many people on wordpress.com that really care about you. We are the “wounded healers”  The wounded healers have experienced severe trauma, mental illness and abuse. We are compassionate about the suffering of others that we can relate to.

You can search by tags for suicide, mental illness, depression, ptsd, bipolar disorder, and other mental illness related tags.

Read people’s stories. Comment on their posts. Keep reading and searching until you find someone that will understand and will reach out to you. There are many in this community.

I have seen people become suicidal and post their feelings and even their plans for suicide on wordpress. It was their only outlet because at this point they had cut off family and friends.

So many bloggers responded to these suicidal posts that the people felt enveloped in care and concern from strangers who really reached out to them. Many people had a change of heart after reading all the comments that other bloggers wrote.

The same goes for survivors of suicide. There are wounded healers that are survivors of suicide here as well. If you search the tags and keep trying, you will find someone that will listen and understand. Sometimes the best first step to healing is to find someone that will understand and validate your suffering.

I hope this post has provided some helpful information for you. If anyone wants to put a link to their mental illness blog in the comments , as a way of adding that information to this post, feel free to do do.

If you are reaching out for help, please also feel free to put a link to your blog in the comments below.  If you are viewing wordpress from a google search and do not have a wordpress blog, it is very easy to set up a wordpress account. You do not have to post a picture in your profile. You can always use an avatar.

That is about all I can think of to say at this time. We were brought into the world needing the community of others. There are people in the world that will understand you. Don’t give up until you find them.