depression, insomnia, mental health, mental illness, ocd, poetry, poetry mental illness

Count the Ducks

Insomnia Sucks
I can’t count the ducks
They say to count sheep
It don’t put me to sleep

Imagery is great
But it keeps me up late

Now it’s 6:30
The dishes are dirty
I know I should wash them
But I want to squash them

If this made you smile
Then it was worthwhile

And I know that you know
And you know that I’m so
And that sounded brainless
The sheep are now nameless
My mind is so aimless

Too tired to write stanzas
About what a woman and man does

This poem gets worse
With Each Passing Verse

Or maybe it’s clever
In some profound way
It might change your life
Or just make you say…

“You should go to sleep
You’re brain is not deep
You’re just overtired
And think you’re inspired
But thank you for trying
Your poem I’ll keep”

So now it is time
To count the damn sheep
And if I am able
I’ll fall fast asleep

And while I am sleeping
I’ll dream I’m awake
And when I am waking
I’ll wish I could sleep

The whole silly thing
It just goes round and round
But now I have you
And you know what I mean
When I say…

That I paint the sheep
Red, blue and green
Cause I can’t count them nightly
And sleep so politely

life, mental illness, poetry

Cover Me

Cover me with roses

Cover me with pearls

Turn all of my light off

Let me lie and curl

Cover me with blankets

Cover me with lace

I “breath in”  dark and silence

Dream of elegance and grace

Cover me with solitude

Make the demands all stop

I can’t meet them today

I am all covered

Toe to top

Cover me with blankets

Cover me with pearls

I’m not the one they think

I am a tired little girl

Cover me with nothing

Cover me with all

I am not really here

You will not catch me when I fall

Cover me and leave me

Take sensation all away

The mental torment also

I’ll not come out to play

Cover me with roses

Cover me with pearls

Leave me to my solitude

I am not of the world

anxiety, depression, mental illness, poetry, poetry about mental illness, teen poetry

Poetry about Mental Illness – Anxiety and Depression

These are  poems I wrote several months ago. I wanted to share it again because people are interested in poetry depicting mental illness. Creative arts about mental illness are a way for people to express, share and spread awareness about mental illness.

People with mental illness often feel alienated, and isolated. They are afraid to talk about their feelings with others due to the stigma about mental illness. There are many people that you we interact with every day that suffer from anxiety, PTSD, depression and other mental disorders.

Many people have these conditions from psychological abuse and damage that was inflicted upon them from emotional trauma. It is not that people with mental disorders are really any different from anyone else except that their brains are disregulated  somehow, often due to abuse and traumatic experiences.

Lessening the stigma surrounding mental illness by creating awareness is beginning to allow people to not be as afraid to talk about it. People need to not suffer alone and there is healing that can be facilitated from being able to talk rather than keeping it a secret.

I will be posting some other poetry about mental illness. There are many artists and musicians that also create in order to express their feelings about mental illness, including depression,  anxiety disorder and other mental disorders

Darkness

Lost in the dark

I can’t find my way

The daylight screams sharp

The light is all pain

Quiet in here

My mind can’t be still

Voices bring fear

I will hide

Yes I will

Until I crave contact

Whenever that may come

Until then

I’ll stay in darkness

Because it feels like

familiar home

Away

I just want to rest

Away from the stress

A corner that’s quiet

Please let me try it

Away from the mean ones

Just myself alone

To think my own thoughts

To cry and to moan

To feel what I feel

Without being told

Just who I should be

And what I should own

I just want to sit

In silence right here

No yelling or scolding

No judgement or pain

I want to be me

The way that I am

In my perfect world

Inside of my heart

Because all that I own

Is inside of my soul

They can’t take it from me

I won’t give them control

Safe

Cars make noises

as they drive by outside

I want to be inside

where it is safe

Sirens are loud

and invade my nervous system

I want to be  inside

where it is safe

People passing by the house

making noises

that remind me

I do not want to go out there

I want to be inside

where it is safe

Safe inside the house

I am safe inside the house

But where do I go

if I want to be

Safe Inside My Mind?

dark poetry, death, loss, mental illness, poetry

Comatose

Dark is the night

When all have forsaken you

 and

some

 have mistaken

your intent

For malice

Others

 have seen a glimpse

of your soul

And despised it

Many

have perceived you

As unworthy

And you

 have

Lost yourself

In an ocean

Of torment

Undulating waves

of painful

regrets

Calamity

of confusion

Disorientation

of perception

You have

lost your mind

Lost your reason

Lost

your memory

of what was important

in the first place

You are left

with questions

that

you are afraid

to know the answers to

the Why

the What for

and 

Was the past

just a dream

A nightmare

Or simply

a passing thought

of

a comatose patient

lying motionless

in a hospital bed

emotional abuse, life, mental abuse, mental health, poetry, spoken word

Scapegoat

Things the little girl was told by her parents…

You are too fat

You are too selfish

You are not trying

You are not good at that

You should think about others

By others I mean ME

By others I mean everyone in the family 

But not yourself

You should help your sisters

They are smarter than you

You have to work harder than they do

to do what they can do

Poor thing

No. you can not blame it on abuse

there is no abuse

abuse has nothing to do with your homework

or how well you do in school

You just are not as smart as your sisters

You should forgive your mother

You should go back and take more abuse

It is only mental

She can’t help it

It is not as bad as you say

You made that up

Why did you protect your face when I reached for the salt

I was not going to strike you

what do you mean you do not know you did that?

You clearly blocked your face

You did that to hurt my feelings

I am sure she never hit you

You are making that up

Tell me what is going on with you

You never share with me

You  never spend time with me

Why don’t you open up

What?

Why do you say things like that

Your life is not that bad

Why do you complain?

Now

Why have you stopped telling me what is going on with you?

Of course I will believe you

Just tell the truth

Not those exaggerated tales of woe

You are too quiet

You talk too much

You are getting fat again

The whole car will probably tip over

if you sit on that side of it

You know it causes damage to the car

for someone so fat to sit in it

oh you have lost weight

that is because I pointed it out to you

It is my accomplishment

I am so proud of myself

for you losing the weight

It could be more…but…

I guess it is the best that You can do…

So, what is going on with you?

You should go make up with your sister

She did not mean it

I am sure did not really hit you

You are exaggerating

You are the one that has to forgive

You did pretty good on that homework

For You….

We all know you are not as smart as the other children…

You have to apologize

Even though they hit you

You must have upset them

You have to keep going back

for more abuse

You are the scapegoat