Depression C-PTSD and PTSD – How to get Your energy Back

I just finished giving a guitar lesson to my teenage niece. It is nice to spend time with her. I have been giving her lessons for a few months now, about every other week.

Before her father had asked me if I was interested in doing guitar lessons with her, I had not been doing much with guitar at all. 

I used to play all the time. Depression has a way of making you lose interest in the things you once used to love to do. After back to back abusive situations with partners and family members, I lost my will to do anything that I liked to do. 

Since I have started my life coaching business I have been feeling that life force coming back. Once people suck your will out of you, it takes time to be able to self generate that energy again. 

It takes doing something that you are passionate about. Since I have been working with other abuse victim, I have felt a purpose in my life that means something special to me. So this is having the effect of generating some of that will power back again.

I still feel the weight of depression pressing down on me as I try to push it off. I am learning that you cannot push it off at all. It is more a matter of accepting without judgement of yourself. 

Then allowing the feelings to come and sitting with them in a way that is nurturing. Showing yourself compassion when the people closest to you cannot show you any compassion is not easy. But you can do it once you learn that the perceptions others have about you do not have to frame your reality. 

Anyway, I was thinking of putting new strings on my guitar so that it would sound better. The old strings have a very thumpy, dull sound. I know that I would be pleased to hear the sound of new strings and I would be more likely to play for enjoyment. 

I might learn a new song or write one of my own. Baby steps are sometimes the way to make great changes in your perceptions. It is the change in perception that will create change in your behavior. 

Perceptions control your emotions. Emotions are underneath of all behaviors. Once you can begin to change behaviors and have more control over getting some momentum, then you can begin to enjoy your path as you are creating it under your feet. 

Devaluation Phase of Narcissistic and Domestic Abue

PTSD – It’s Effect on the Immune System

If you have PTSD ,  you might find that you are having physical reactions to the stress and you are sick more often.  PTSD can cause a variety of problems that come from  interference with the normal functioning of your immune system.

The DNA in the group with PTSD showed a significant increase of a gene that made them more vulnerable to multiple types of sicknesses. One particular gene, called the unmethylated gene, was more abundant in PTSD patients than in non-PTSD patients.

This increase proved to drastically impact a person’s life. Their immune systems ultimately were compromised. Rochelle Oliver –  Psych Central . Article called Traumatic Experienced Weaken Immune System Gene

If you noticed that you became sick more often after going though traumatic ongoing abuse then it was not all in your head. Your immune system was compromised by the PTSD. 

Personally I ended up in the hospital and / or the ER  repeatedly after my abusive relationship. Soon after the relationship ended,  within a couple of weeks, I got a severe intestinal infection and I was admitted to the hospital after spending 4 hours in the Emergency Room to stabilize my blood pressure, which had gone down to 69 over 42. 

After that hospital stay I was week for a while and then got back on my feet again.  In another few weeks I had a relapse of the intestinal infection which was treated with another round of Cipro antibiotics.

The a few weeks later I began to feel very ill. I was afraid the intestinal infection had come back. I was vomiting this time, which had not occurred before. I had a fever and sweating. I was very sick and by the time I dragged myself to the ER I could hardly walk. 

They gave me a CT scan on the hospital and they determined that it was not an intestinal infection this time, but a severe kidney infection. The kidneys were filled with bacterial infection and if I had not gotten myself to the ER I could have died. 

The doctors did not understand how someone my age could get two unrelated infections so close together. The infections were in different organs and both of them were severe and life threatening. 

I suspected that my immune system might be crashing but I did not think the doctors would believe that PTSD was causing this, so I did not bother to say anything.

I decided to research this after I became better from the illnesses. It was a slow and painful road to healing.

We know that people with PTSD have higher rates of cardiovascular disease and arthritis, which are diseases associated chronic inflammation.  Steve Tokar  Article called “Men’s and Women’s Immune Systems Respond Differently to PTSD.“

Men who return from combat zones end up with PTSD and a variety of physical illnesses. Research has been done and is still being done about the reasons for immune system crashing after a person experiences trauma.

“This is the first time that it’s been shown that men and women respond differently to PTSD on a very basic biological level.”   Lynn Pulliam, MS, PhD, chief of microbiology at SFVAMC and professor at UCSF.

People with PTSD are more likely to develop heart disease and other cardiovascular diseases. There is too much stress on the heart and on the entire biological state of the body.

“…research explains why people with PTSD have always been more susceptible to diabetes and cardiovascular disease, among many other disorders.”  Rochelle Oliver –  Psych Central

They also have an inflammatory response which causes an increased risk of early onset severe arthritis, which can eventually become debilitating. Arthritis is a painful condition which is caused by inflammation and eventual deterioration of the joints.

The brain of someone with PTSD has biological changes in the neural pathways and the way the  sympathetic nervous system handles stress.

The normal functioning of the system is damaged due to the “fight or flight mode” being activated for too long.  During a situation of threat and perceived danger, the sympathetic nervous system does its job to try to alert you.

THE AMYGDALA IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ACTIVATING THE ALERT SYSTEM DURING A THREATENING SITUATION. IT IS NOR DESIGNED TO BE TURNED ON FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME. 

“In individuals with PTSD, the HPA axis response is dysregulated. Individuals with PTSD have low circulating levels of cortisol.

In one study of motor vehicle accident victims, low cortisol levels immediately after the accident were associated with the development of PTSD and high cortisol levels were associated with the development of depression.”  Medscape article Gender Differences in PTSD

PTSD is a very real mental disorder and it can cause the sufferers to have a much lower quality of life.

It affects all aspects of a person’s life including social life, family life, work life and  romantic life. PTSD can interfere with a person’s ability to perform basic daily tasks and even to take care of their personal grooming and other needs.

PTSD is painful and frightening. The memories of the event linger and victims often have vividflashbacks. Frightened and traumatized, they are almost always on edge and the slightest of cues sends them hurtling back inside their protective shells.

Usually victims try to avoid people, objects, and situations that remind them of their hurtful experiences; this behavior is debilitating and prevents them from living their lives meaningfully. by Viatcheslav Wlassoff, PhD – Brain Blogger.com

PTSD CAN GREATLY LOWER THE QUALITY OF LIFE THAT THEY PERSON IS ABLE TO HAVE.

The reality that the immune system becomes compromised adds to the problems. The combination of mental illness and physical illnesses can cause the sufferer to lose all hope and feel that their life is worthless.

More research is being done about PTSD, and hopefully there will be more information about this disorder. If you suffer from PTSD, know that you are not alone and there is hope.

The best thing is to find someone to talk to about your feelings, who has a frame of reference to understand what you are going through.

Since PTSD is invisible, it is often difficult for people who have not experienced any kind of mental illness, to understand it.

YOU ARE A VALUABLE PERSON WHO HAS BEEN AFFLICTED WITH THIS DISORDER.

It is not through any fault of your own. It is easy to lose hope and to feel like self isolating. Being alone all the time can cause more problems with loneliness and depression.

If someone is triggering to your PTSD then try not to spend much time with them. In the mean time reach out and find a few people that you can talk to that validate your experiences and feelings. There is no reason to suffer alone.

If you cannot find anyone to communicate with, there are many people in the blogging world and support groups on the internet where you can find some support and relief.

Blessings for peace of mind.

Annie<3

YouTube Channel

Visit my YouTube Channel for videos about healing from narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, narcissism, and psychological abuse and overcoming abuse.

You are not alone. Living with a narcissist can make you feel like you are crazy. Mental abuse can cause psychological, emotional, cognitive, functional, and physical symptoms. 

The mind and the body are connected.

Abuse is all encompassing.

It takes time to heal and people that have not lived thought this kind of abuse will have trouble understanding. They will not understand why it is taking you so long to just get over it.

Connect with other people who have been through this. Validation is key to  healing from abuse. Mental abuse can have effects that are just as devastating as physical abuse. 

Living in an abusive relationships can lead to depression, anxiety disorders, PTSD , avoidant personality, derealization disorder, and in some cases suicidal thoughts. 

Learn how to identify abusive personalities and avoid abuse in the future.

Discover techniques for resisting attempts to emotionally manipulate you. 

For a one-on-one coaching visit  gentlekindnesscoaching.com

Fight or Flight – Narcissistic Abuse / Domestic Abuse

Check out my Domestic Abuse Blog

As some of you know, I have another blog called the Lovely Wounded Lady Blog. This blog is for the purpose of helping the victims of domestic abuse and narcissistic abuse to overcome their trauma. It is designed to be a safe space for people to share their abuse stories and to find comfort and information from one another. 

Here is a new post that went up today. It is called Narcissists Psychopaths and the Law of Entropy. 

The first post that was ever written for the Lovely Wounded Lady Blog was called A Blog for Women from Domestic Abuse

Since that first post on February 17 of this year, the followers of that blog have increased and a good number of them are men. It is easy to think that domestic abuse and partner abuse occurs mainly with women, but there are more female psychopaths and narcissists than people think. 

It is often harder to spot the females because they are either using their sexuality to lure and exploit their victims or they are home-based women who maintain their “home cult” and victimize their families behind closed doors. 

Most blatant abuse occurs behind closed doors. This is true of both male and female abusers. The victims are often afraid to let anyone know because they do not think anyone will believe them. 

Abusers put on a mask and are very good actors in front of people that they want to project a certain image to.

Behind closed doors at home they are a very different person. They can be verbally, mentally, physically and otherwise violent. They exploit and manipulate their victims by using brainwashing and fear tactics. 

So if you are in an abusive situation or have lived through it, feel free to stop by the Lovely Wounded Lady Blog for community support and information. 

You can also read my Life Coaching Page to learn more about coaching for healing from abuse. The other place you can find some help and contact me is at my Life Coaching web site gentlekindnesscoaching.com 

I have a coaching plan that will work for your particular budget and time schedule, starting at 15 dollars. There are choices about the method for coaching including  Google Chat (typing chat),  Skype and over the phone. 

You can also check out my YouTube Channel videos about abuse, and healing from abuse HERE.

Blessings, 

Annie

PTSD and Executive Function Problems from Trauma, Abuse and Depression – New Video

If you have PTSD from trauma or C-PTSD from on-going trauma you may be having problems organizing tasks and managing your time. Executive function is a process that is controlled by the frontal lobe of the brain. PTSD can cause problems with this part of the brain.

Executive function is in charge of things that have to do managing your schedule and getting tasks done. Organizing tasks and knowing the steps to get them done is part of executive function. Other things that are controlled by this part of the brain include: self monitoring, focus, prioritizing tasks, and  dealing with resources and people. 

According to Web MD…

“Executive function is a set of mental skills that help you to get things done. These are controlled by an area of the brain called the frontal lobe. “

Executive function helps you:

• Manage time

• Pay attention

• Switch focus

• Plan and organize

• Remember details

• Do things based on your experience

If you find that you are feeling overwhelmed by tasks, easily stressed about getting things done, then you might have an executive function deficiency. If this has been caused by being in a long term abusive relationship, then it will hopefully get better with time. This is different for different people.

Web MD lists the things that can cause problems with executive function as follows:

• ADHD
• Depression
• Learning Disabilities
• Brain trauma
• Alzheimer’s Disease

 I was a bit disappointed to find that Web MD did not have PTSD or domestic abuse on the list. There is research and evidence that PTSD causes executive function issues. 

This is not anything to feel ashamed of or guilty about. You do not have to feel less than other people because you are not good at organizing and managing your life and day to day tasks. This is something that you cannot help, but you can come up with techniques and strategies to make things easier for yourselves.

About the YouTube Video

In the video which I included with this post, I give some ideas for helping to deal with the anxiety and feelings of frustration over this. I also show some of the methods I use when I feel overwhelmed trying to get things done.

Strategies and Techniques

Writing lists can be very helpful and it can help you to prioritize things. You also need to create a logical order to do things in and identify which things are time sensitive such as a doctor appt. or important paperwork that needs to be mailed by a certain date.

Sometimes I will send myself emails with important info that I am afraid I will forget. All of my user names and passwords have been sent ” by me to me.” When I need to retrieve them I simply type in something like “Ebay password and user name” into the search emails box.

This way they are all stored safely and I can always access them. If you use this method make sure to send another email to yourself any time you reset password. I have made the mistake before of forgetting to do that and I ended up trying to use an older password. Then you have to reset all over again.

PTSD from on-going Abuse

Most importantly is to treat yourself with kindness. If you were in an abusive relationship then it is not surprising that there were organic changes that occurred in your brain that are causing things to not function properly. 

 Depression and Executive Function Problems

The same goes for mental illnesses like depression. When you have depression, many of the processes of the brain are slowed down or otherwise not working normally. Getting frustrated and beating yourself up over this will only make things worse.

PTSD from Combat or Military related Trauma

If you have PTSD from combat or military related mental trauma, then the same issues can arise with your executive function and your ability to deal with the daily things that need to be organized, scheduled and followed through on. It is not unusual to be easily distracted and to get off track. 

ADHD and Executive Function Deficiency

If you have ADHD then you are very familiar with having trouble with organizing and getting things done on  time. This may have been a frustration for years now. There is information you can search for on Google about ADHD and help with executive function.

I am not including all of this information here because it is a lot. I will write a post in the future dedicated to ADHD.

You can buy folders, notebooks and special clipboards that open into legal pads. You can use sticky notes and cell phone message pads. I have a special plastic folder for critical papers and smaller folders for current tasks.

If you can be honest with yourself about having a problem with your executive function then you can do better to help yourself with it.

 There is no reason to feel like you are less than other people because you do not do these kinds of things as well as they do. If someone has a broken leg then they don’t walk as well as other people, right? This is a physical problem in the brain. 

The brain can be rewired and function normally again for many people. Others may have to compensate for deficiency in their executive function for their entire lives. 

Write things down and help yourself as best as you can. Research executive function and learn more about it.

Mention symptoms to your therapist and your doctor. If you have family and friends that you think would understand then you can give them links to more information. The more support you have the better you will feel.

Wishing you peace of mind,

Annie ❤

Psychological Abuse Meme

PTSD and Drawing Fuel Away from the Cerebral Cortex

This is going to be a stream of consciousness post because I woke up too early and I am having some anxiety and cannot go back to sleep yet.

I am feeling some post traumatic stress and my brain is into that fight or flight mode. This is that feeling that you are under some kind of threat and you feel the urgent need to fight or run or do something to alleviate the brain’s urgency.

It is a feeling that goes through the entire body and there is no where to put it and nothing to do with it. The mind starts running a hundred miles per hour and there are pictures of things you are afraid of flashing across the computer screen of your brain.

The thoughts and pictures move very quickly and then they become more irrational. The more irrational they become, the more threatening the picture and then it escalates the anxiety.

So, I am writing because expressing your feelings in words, forces the brain to have to think about the thoughts and feelings in an objective and detached way. In order to express your thoughts to another person, you have to think about how to write it so that the other person will understand it.

While you are thinking about how to say it, so that the other person will understand it, you have to see it from the reader’s point of view. When we go back to edit, then we have to that process again.

We are reading through and thinking “Now is this understandable? and Is that worded in a clear way?”

As we are doing this process of seeing it from the point of view of the reader, we have to detach from the emotion and see them as words and thoughts of communication. The process of detaching causes the level of whatever the emotion is, to go down.

The brain uses different parts of the brain to do different things. If it is in an emotional overload, then you want to pull a percentage of the fuel that is centered in feeling emotions, over to another brain process.

Writing and editing, detaching and being analytical, are different that the emotional part of the brain. If we force the percentage of our attention to go to those cognitive functions, then we pull fuel away from the frontal cortex, which controls the fears and fight or flight mode.

Tada ! It is a magic trick of epic proportion. It does not make the anxiety go away all together but it does lower it and bring the focus of your brain onto a different skill.

This is how we can tell our brain what to do. Meditation is great if you are able to clear your mind of everything and “just breath” but that is not a viable option  to me. in the midst of post traumatic stress. The anxiety is too high and there are pictures running through your head.

The last thing I want to do in the middle of that, is to sit quietly and watch all of these threatening pictures even more clearly in my head. You can use the mindfulness meditation but only after you are able to detach from the high level of emotion first.

Once you can force the rational side of your brain to wake up and start drinking energy from the amygdala (the frontal cortex) then you can try the meditation and breathing exercises. They might work.

Any cognitive activity has the ability to pull fuel away from the alarm system of the frontal cortex. You have got to draw the energy away from that part of the brain, in order to reduce it’s power and influence over you.

The act of thinking about your feelings, rather than focusing on feeling them, draws the attention of your brain away sending the “feeling” signals to your body. The brain will slow down and work to process the rational thoughts that you are working on.

You will notice that I did not blog too much about what I was feeling, but I went into thinking about the brain, how it works and why it was causing me to feel that way.

I can not say that this will work for everyone. But I can attest to the fact that those pictures that were flying through my head at a million miles an hour,  ten minutes ago, have slowed way down and have less power over me now.

This works for me when I am having regular anxiety also, the problem is that I am not usually at my laptop at that time. If I happen to have someone that wants to listen to me talk about what I think is happening in my brain, then that would help. There is no one to fo that outside of the blogging world.

Blessings,

Annie

The Ones You Trust …

I was watching Youtube videos this evening about Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse and an advertisement came on…

You know the ones…they come on before you can watch the video and you have to listen to about 30 seconds and then you can click SKIP…

So, here I am waiting to click SKIP…so that I can watch a Spartan Life Coach video about narcissistic abuse..

This ad comes on for Duracell batteries

A young man has gone mountain climbing. He looks at the mountain and feels afraid and uncertain. He calls  Dad on his cell phone…

He says “Dad this looks really tough.”

Dad Says “You are really tough too,”

Son is encouraged by the words of his father…He climbs the mountain.

The slogan comes on and says…..“Because the ones you trust will always be there for you.”

If you have ever trusted a narcissist and then realized that the entire relationship was “acting” on their part, then will understand my dismay, at having this particular ad coming on right before my narcissistic abuse video…

I am watching these videos to try to regain my brain back from realizing that the person that I trusted most in the world..the person that said they wanted to spend their life with me…the person that said I could trust them…was LYING!

Uhg!

THEN…

Then I had to stop the video because I was in my car and just arrived at the grocery store.

When I came out, I restarted the video. The same ad came on and I had to wait it out before I  could Skip it.

Once again here came the “Words of Wisdom…”

“BECAUSE THE ONES YOU TRUST WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU !”

AAAAAHHHHHHHHhhhhhhh!

‘Nuff Said

Annie

Annie