Life is hard. It really can suck sometimes. Let’s be truthful about this.
People might be telling you to “suck it up” … “move on”… “pull yourself up by your bootstraps.” These people are not inside of your head.
You know this and you know that your inner world is different from theirs. Somewhere in your brain, is this voice saying “What is wrong with me? “
Pretending everything is okay with your mental state, is not easy and if it is continuous it will lead you to misery and a mental breakdown.
No, everyone does not want to listen. No, everyone does not care.
Yes, there are people who are going to say to you “Haven’t you gotten over that yet?” …and …”everyone has it hard, you have to get over it”
Well, fuck ! Sometimes things happen that you CANNOT just get over. They don’t magically go away. There seems to be no one to talk to.
It is like being in some nightmare land where you speak such a different language than anyone else that you are completely alone with your pain and your perception of life.
Your perception and faith in humanity can be damaged.
Certain things can damage our perception of humanity as a basically good and safe thing to be a part of.
Abuse and trauma rape the soul and the mind. If you have been through something that you cannot seem to heal from, then it probably raped your soul and infected your inner core of being.
It does not have to physical abuse that causes trauma to your inner core of being. Mental and emotional abuse can be severely damaging to your inner being.
If your reality has been messed with by someone who caused you to believe that the world is different than it is, then you are likely to have trouble recovering and “getting over it.” Narcissistic abuse is one thing that can cause mental disfunction.
The nature of reality itself can become in question. Your ability to trust people and to feel confident in your ability to know who is safe, can be deeply affected.
Other things can cause us to question our perception of reality. Witnessing things that are personally traumatizing to our psychological state and being in traumatic events, can cause our brains to become ill.
Certain events can cause us to question our purpose to be here. They can even lead to suicidal thoughts. If left without any validation of your real feelings, this state of mind is dangerous to you.
When a loved one dies or becomes terminally ill, your entire world is affected. Some people have different coping skill that other people.
You working with your own past and whatever you have been wired with, in order to evaluate cope. No one is just like you.
People may say that you should be handling things better, but they are not inside of the entire mental and emotional package that is in you.
If you are not okay, then you are NOT okay.
That is just how it is for now. It does not help to shove your feelings down, just to make other people more comfortable. Yes, you have to keep things to yourself a lot of the time, but you cannot do it constantly and permanently.
When did it become such a taboo thing to not be okay? Why should you be condemned for suffering?
All cultures are not like this. All traditions are not like this.
The world seems to be becoming more narcissistic, as far as what is acceptable for people to do and say. This ever growing acceptance for people to be less empathic and compassionate, is making the gap between people with mental illness and the “normals” greater and greater.
Mental illness encompasses a wide range of disorders and conditions. It can triggered by events and circumstances in your life. Traumatic events can cause PTSD. Deeply sad circumstances and losses can cause depression.
When does being depressed or having anxiety become a mental disorder?
You have a disorder when your life becomes disordered. It is difficult to do the regular things.
Your feelings about doing the things that you enjoy have changed. You do not want to or cannot just get through the day like you feel you should be able to.
When your work, your relationships. your daily functions become impaired, then your condition has turned into a disfunction.
Pain is pain. Mental suffering is mental suffering. You can’t always “just shake it off.” You matter and your mental state matters.
It is easy to fall into feeling guilty, because people think you should be fine and you are not. You are not a big baby and you are not inferior to these other people.
You might just be deeper and more sensitive than other people tend to be. There is a small percentage of humanity that is empathic and more sensitive that others.
If this is you, then you are going to feel things more deeply and emotional events are going to affect you much differently than other people.
Add on top of it, a high intelligence and ability to be abstract and creative, and you have a high potential for developing a mental illness.
Why? It is the way of things. You internalize things in a deep way and you ruminate over things more deeply and more obsessively than other people, who are more shallow than you are.
They can shake things off, at times, easier than you can. They tell you that you “should” be able to be like them, but are you like them?
If you have had any mental abuse in your past, then your brain is already wired differently from other people, and you are not going to perceive and respond to situations in the same way that others do.
Your personality may be a blessing and curse. You have found yourself in circumstances that other people do not end up in. You process life events, betrayal, death, disloyalty , and lack of fairness in the world in your own personal way.
Your mind is unique. For someone to understand why you cannot “just get over it” …or “Move on already”..they would have to enter the world of your mind, and your perception, in addition to understanding what has happened in your past and how it affects you.
You are alone in a way. On the other hand, you are not alone and do not have to be.
Keeping your feelings buried underground, will eat you alive. Finding someone to talk to can be difficult. Keep your mind open to talking to someone because they might turn up in the most unlikely of places.
Use your blog to communicate about your real feelings. You can set up a second blog, if your is not anonymous. If you use a separate email address then it will not link to your other blog.
Find ways to get your real thoughts and feelings out. Do not criticize yourself for being mentally or emotionally stuck in any situation. You are stuck because there are still things you need to work through.