Listen

Our inner voice is always telling us important things. We cannot always hear it over the other voices playing in our heads.

These are the voices of other people telling us what we should do. Our subconscious brain then kicks in to rationalize going against what feels right.

When we abandon ourselves there is a price to pay. The people who put those voices in our heads are not the ones who will pay the price for us listening to them.

If something is right for us it will not feel like we have to fight against our own soul to do it.

We cannot live being more afraid to disappoint others than we are to disappoint ourselves.

Forks in the Road

This is my late night rambling.  Any typos will be fixed tomorrow. This is a stream of consciousness writing. ….

Sometimes we grieve for a thing we missed out on. This might be a person we thought we were meant to be with. Or it might be a situation like a job or a certain path we imagined was right for us.

But we really do not know what would have awaited us, had we ended up with that thing we were sure we wanted.

Think of a person that you ended up wishing you had never wanted to be in a relationship with. You were sure it was what you wanted at the time, but as time passed it was not what you pictured the relationship to be.

There is also some situation that you were sure you wanted that eventually turned out to be a devastating disappointment. What if you had never gotten it?

You might still be grieving the loss of what you imagined the outcome to be.

There is no way to know if you really missed out on a “dream job” because what you imagined it would be like is probably not how you would have felt once you were in it.

And that person you thought would have been the perfect partner…so much so that you compare your other relationships to that one perfect relationship that you imagine you missed by a hair….

Maybe you did something that you consider a mistake and it kept you from following along that particular path you thought was the “right” one.

While you spend your energy lamenting these imagined scenarios and how well they would have gone, you may be missing the inner voice that is calling toward something much better.

Rather than a loss of great magnitude, some of these things you missed out on may have ended up being the very things that would have kept you from the wonderful things you have yet to experience.

We sometimes feel that we are at a “fork in the road” and that if we choose the wrong path it will completely change our lives. But you are still you even after a seemingly dramatic choice.

You never know where any path will lead or many more moments of truth will seem to present themselves. It could be that you would wind down one path, only to find it ended up joining with the second one anyway, further down the road.

It is important that you know your values and what you believe in. It is also important that you are open to seeing things in a new light, if the facts you come across show you a new way of looking at things.

There are very few, if any, paths  that have a certain right or wrong way…at least not one you cannot correct , change or adapt to.

It is when you go against your inner voice and reject yourself that you get into trouble. You must honor your inner voice and allow it to guide you.

Do not reject yourself for the sake of pleasing someone else.

The sooner you learn to respect yourself and your resiliency, the sooner you can begin to have confidence that whatever direction you walk, that feels right, will eventually lead you someplace where you will be okay.

 

Mirrors of Your True Self

Many great people, who did great things in the world,  were not acknowledged for who they were in their own homes.

The people who you live with do not necessarily have perspective about your potential in the world. Especially if you grew up in an emotionally abusive household, you were not seen for who you are.

Do not judge yourself based on what people see. You have more to you than what your family sees.

See inside of yourself for who you are and what you can achieve.

If you feel drawn towards doing certain things and you can imagine yourself doing them, then you can go after those dreams.

Do not accept false mirrors that other people refect you with. Their refections of you are limiting.

The perceptions of other people are not true mirrors of you. Even your perception of yourself is not a true mirror of you.

You can achieve things that are beyond what you can perceive of right now.

Seek wisdom from what your feelings are telling you. Your thoughts and perceptions can be interfered with

Go towards what makes you feel happy. Go away from what makes you unhappy.

Think of the advice that Teal Swan gives. When making any decision, no matter how small, ask yourself “What would someone who loves themselves do?”

 

 

Healing Poem

Healing requires feeling

It is nature’s only  way

Of disinfecting

the mental wounds

And closing them to stay

It seems too much to bear at first

Sometimes we want to quit

We regress to places past

And fear the future trauma

But healing always means feeling

There is no other path

That leads to  growth of hearts

And makes us strong at last

Kindness

recite-karma

Image

Playfulness and Oxytocin

playfulness

Being playful releases oxytocin into your body. The release of oxytocin helps with mood, energy and self confidence. Find a way to be playful each day that is fun for you. It can be alone or with someone else.

Dancing, playing with balloons, or being silly with your kids are all ways to be playful. Find what makes you feel good. 

The more often your body releases oxytocin, the more oxytocin you will have in your body on a regular basis. 

Don’t think of it as wasting time. You need oxytocin in your system in order to function at your best. You will be more able to do the things you need to do of you take this time for emotional self care. 

This is a great way to create empowerment. You are allowed to set a boundaries about yourselves.

If you were conditioned to spend all of your time taking care of what others want you to be doing, then this is a great way to begin to re-wire that old programming. 

Making time for your pleasure and fun will bring out your creativity and good nature.  

Taking the time for yourself to just enjoy something that is fun for you is okay. It is part of setting boundaries about your time.

Your health and well being depend upon the levels of oxytocin in your system.

Simple pleasures are more enjoyable to people with the proper levels of oxytocin in their bodies. You need to enjoy simple pleasures in order not to become oxytocin deficient.

So take some time to be playful today doing something out of the ordinary for you, because your overall physical and mental health depends on it. 

Connection

As you are sitting 

Reading this poetry

Quietly trying to make a connection

That is human and significant

You notice the flow of your breath

In and out 

Filling your body

and flowing

to the tips of your toes

and the ends of your fingertips…

You begin to realize

That you can hear the sound of my voice

In your mind

Because

We are all connected

In a human way and in a

Spiritual way that involves

your magnetic energy 

being

Projected from within your heart

Crossing through the barrier of your skin

and bones

And

Lighting up the atmosphere around you

with visible colors…

And as you observe these colors

You are becoming aware that

It is

this very energy

that is

Surrounding your body with warmth

and safety…

As your breath becomes deeper

and your nervous system calms

and regulates with that of my own…

You are beginning to connect

with the reality

that you are not alone…

You are part of a whole

which is all life 

and existence…

And as you feel the power of this connection

 You begin to notice the sensations

in the nerves under your skin

You begin to realize that

You are never really alone

You only have to reach out…

Read someone’s writing

Listen to someone’s song

Hear someone’s story…

In order to create a connection

with their nervous system

and to 

Sync and match

your very own heartbeat

with that 

or another human

who is also living in this existence

with you

Be Unconventional

unconventional

Image

Our Thoughts are not All Serving Us

perception

When we are born into this world we have no lack of self esteem. We do not doubt whether or not we deserve to be cared for. The thoughts that we have as adults of low self esteem, lack of self confidence. unworthiness, doubting ourselves, and even doubting the safety of our environment are all things that are programmed into us by other people.

We can end up with depression and anxiety disorder due to the wiring in our brains that other people put there.

Our thoughts are not who we are. It is easy to think of ourselves as our feelings and our thoughts, but the truth is that feelings and thoughts can be altered and changed. Other people can cause us pain and they can feed thoughts to our brains.

believe

You are who you are inside. You are the same person that you were born as. There is an inner part of you that is not tangible. It is the real self that does not change. It is the self that has value and worth. no matter what else happens or what thoughts you notice you are having.

You do not have to attach to all of your thoughts. Realize that many of them were forced upon you when you were a child and others of them were conditioned into you over time. Any thoughts you have that are negative about yourself, or doubting yourself. are bad programming.

out of mind

Try to notice your thoughts and observe them in an objective way sometimes. If you can observe them as something separate from your true self, then you can ask questions about them. Take one particular thought and see if it is true. Did you decide that it was true ir did someone else tell you it was true?

You can decide that certain thoughts and thought patterns no longer serve you. Something like “I am not good enough for my family” is not serving you. You can write down the negative thoughts on a piece of paper and then look at them from an outside perspective. Bring them outside of your head and onto paper. 

Then see what no longer serves you. Some thought patterns were designed by your brain to protect you as a child or in some on-going situation where your brain felt you were threatened. See what purpose the thought serves and if it is really true. 

tornado

You can be in charge of your own brain. There are ways to alter memories and perspectives about things. You can learn how to do this or get someone to help you. NLP hypnosis is one way that can help with this. Other times compassionate conversation about the negative thoughts and feelings can help. 

Seeing your thoughts as something that is a separate entity from your original and true self can help you to evaluate them. There is no reason that someone else should feel that they have value and purpose in the world but you do not. You have just as much worth as anyone else does. 

We are programmed with thoughts and our feelings are manipulated by certain people who want to maintain their own agenda which is about them and not us. Some people have wanted to alter your behavior and the most effective way was to alter how you saw yourself in relation to them and to the world. 

depression hurts

You do not have to keep any programming that was put into you that no longer serves you, or that never served you in a healthy way. 

Blessings, 

Annie

If you want coaching or NLP hypnosis you can contact me at my web site gentlekindnesscoaching.com

If you mention this post your first 20 minute session will be free. 

Accepting Emotions and Healing Old Wounds – Emotophobia

Instead of trying to stop feeling the emotions that you feel, when you see them as negative emotions, show yourself love. Accept the emotions you are feeling.

Investigate within yourself and find out why you are really feeling this emotion. Show compassion and empathy to yourself and allow yourself to have feelings without judging yourself for them.

Emotophobia is the fear of negative emotions. Many people that grew up with chaos, trauma or abuse, have a form of emotophobia. You may have been taught that feeling certain emotions was wrong or bad.

Many of us were taught that feeling certain emotions was selfish, weak and that you were to be judged for it. You should not have to judge yourself for feeling things.

Repressing emotions does not make them go away. It does not deal with the problem that is underneath of the emotions that are coming up.

Being judged for your emotions as a child was emotional abuse. Being told to change, hide and feel shame for feeling “negative” emotions was also emotional and mental abuse. It made you feel that you were bad because of ways that you felt about things.

Being taught you are bad for feeling things and expressing your feelings, teaches you that you are either good or bad based on how you feel about things. This is wrong. Emotions are simply our subconscious brain trying to tell us something,

Emotions are generated by the subconscious brain and we cannot control the emotions that initially come up about things. Denying emotions is denying ourselves. Then our inner child can feel abandoned and devalued.

perception

Devaluing yourself based on the way you feel, is a way of abandoning parts of yourself. All the parts of you are an important part of your entire being, You cannot deny and abandon part of yourself without abandoning yourself as a person that has a right to be who you are.

This abandonment of yourself is taught to children from abusive back grounds. You are taught that your needs do not matter in the grand scheme of things, Your needs are less important that theirs are and than the rest of the family.

You either matter or you do not matter. I can tell you that you do matter. Once you begin to accept the emotions that come up and understand that your subconscious brain only brings u emotions with good reasons to signal them to you, then you can look at why you are feeling the ways you do.

Healing can begin once you accept yourself and your emotions without judgement. Let go of learned thought patterns that were forced onto you during childhood.

you matter

You matter as much as anyone else does. Why do someone else’s feelings matter more than your own? Why do you feel bad to have emotions that might contradict someone else’s reality?

Your reality matters and your brain knows why it sends certain feelings to the body. Investigate within yourself and let your inner child know that it has not been abandoned.

Many feelings that are “negative ” feelings are to protect you or they are wounds that are being re-opened from childhood. They may be wounds that are being triggered from adult trauma.

Even some adult trauma was more traumatic because whatever happened was re-opening childhood wounds. Your pain is trying to show you something that needs to be known.

The first step to healing old wounds is to accept that they are there. Understand that you have been wounded and that feelings do not just come out of nowhere, even when they seem to.

Blessings.

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