Tennessee Trees

So, Tennesse was a strange place to me, when I moved here, less than two years ago.

Here are some lovely Tennessee trees, at sunset. I took these outside of the Dollar General Store last week.

I am originally from Baltimore. Maryland. I grew up there, went to college there, and lived there till my 30’s.

In Maryland, the locals like to say that Maryland counts as a southern state, because after all “we are south of the Mason Dixon Line.”

Funny thing is, since I’ve actually been living in the south,  I’ve never heard any real southerners stake their claim to being a southern state, based on being south of the Mason Dixon Line !

In fact, I’ve never heard anyone mention the Mason Dixon Line at all, since I’ve been here. They don’t feel the need to justify being in the south.

And no one down here thinks Maryland is a southern state. Only Marylanders do, apparently.

The accent is funny here, in Tennessee,  but I don’t notice it as loudly as I did, when I first arrived here.

There is basically no “long I ” sound at all. If you want to say the word “eye” …it is “Ahh”….like in the word “sonic.”

It’s basically a short “o” vowel sound (like box, fox, or socks) , in place of any long “I” sound that should be in like, bike, sight, might etc.

So you end up with …Ahh mahh-t  get a mahh-t to eat.”

Or you could write it as “Ahh  mot go get a bot to eat.”

Rather than “I might go get a bite to eat.”

I had more trouble understanding people than my daughter did. A few times I had to ask her what in the world someone had just said to us, after thet had walked away.

Once we were in the hospital for some nasty flu, and the triage nurse was weighing my daughter and getting her height, like they do. That nursing assistant kept saying something about “sonometer”.

And I thought she was trying to say sonogram or something. I had no idea why we would need a sonogram for the flu. I was thinking maybe the poor girl just wasn’t too smart.

After we were in our room, my daughter leaned towards me and whispered,  “Mom, she was saying “centimeters.” She was telling you how many centimeters tall  I am.”

I was like “what? Seriously ?”

She was like,  “Yep. She was saying centimeters. But it sounded like sonimeters ”

So that was pretty funny, and it’s a funny memory for us now.

I have had a Baltimore accent, for most of my life. When I moved to New Jersey 12 years ago, people there often didn’t understand me, especially over the phone. But eventually, I ended up adjusting my accent when I was speaking to people I didn’t know; trying to filter out the Baltimore vowels and the way I was used to pronouncing “DR” like a “J”…..

Examples  of Baltimore pronunciations –

Drink is Jrink

Dresser is Jresser

Drunk is Jrunk

Drip is Jrip

So, after over 13 years living in Jersey, I kind of had a “half – Baltimore/ half – Jersey” accent.

So you can imagine how I must have sounded to the Tennessee folks !

They didn’t know what to make of me. ….except for that cool lady that works at my local gas station , that’s originally from Wisconsin !

That would be Shannon.

I think I may be the less strange accent to the Tennessee locals , than hers is ! I’ve gotten to be friends with her, and she loves when I come up to the little gas station hut to chat with her.

Anyway, so now I’ve been in the Knoxville area of Tennessee, for coming up on 2 years. I think October (around Halloween) will make 2 years.

I remember our first Halloween here. My teenage daughter was afraid the Halloween scare house and haunts would not be as good as Jersey. (New Jersey did have awesome scare houses) .

And she was sure no one was going to like her, and that she would not fit in.

But I went online and found a haunted attraction , called Dead Man’s Farm. She reluctantly agreed to go with me.

We ended up having the best time ! It was a really cool haunted farm and barn. She loved it. They had a bonfire in the big open , grassy area.

Not only that, she immediately made friends with the group that was behind us, in the line to go into the haunted barn.

One of the 20 year old girls was scared to go into the barn.

My daughter held her hand, and kept track of her all the way through. I think the girl may otherwise have made a run for it, out one of the windows.

Afterwards, we took pictures together , with that group. My daughter was chattering all the long ride home, about how much fun she had and how the people just included her.

Even some of the actors, that were working in the haunted barn, got into some of the pictures with my daughter.

No one even mentioned her Jersey accent. They were more concerned with a farm zombie jumping out with a hatchet!

When it gets closer to Halloween, I’ll locate those pictures from that night and share them with you.

Let’s hope the haunts will be open this year, so I can get new pictures to share.

Happy 2020. Hang in there ! We’ll make to the other end of this tunnel, one way or another !!

 

 

For Anyone Who Dreads the Holidays

image from Pinterest – HERE

Another holiday is upon us. I know that many of us dread the holidays for one reason or another. Some of you will be alone and others have to tolerate relatives they would rather not ever see.

Divorced parents have to coordinate with their ex, or miss the holiday with their kids all together. Memories of traumatizing past holidays trigger emotional flashbacks while you try to maintain your holiday cheer for the sake of your children.

Adult children of abusive parents suffer a triggering of old emotional wounds. Memories of traumatic experiences creeping into your mind, or bombarding you with full frontal assault.

People with chronic illnesses, progressive diseases, and chronic pain feel the weight of knowing it was not always this difficult, and it should not be this difficult.

Many people that have chronic pain and illness will be isolated, or struggling to keep up with things only to have a less than pleasant day.

Depression is often amplified during a holiday. Whether you are self isolating or are isolated because people got tired of dealing with your mental illness, being alone can make feelings of hopelessness worse.

image from Pinterest – HERE

Some people will end up in a room full of loud, busting people only to feel more alone in the middle of the crowd. Being at any kind of gathering can be terribly draining and depressing for people who already suffer from depression.

OCD, PTSD and anxiety disorders can all be triggered to be worse in the midst of dealing with the expectations of friends and family. Even the media and society seems to judge and mock those who just cannot feel the “spirit” of a holiday.

So to all of you I send compassion. Feel free to provide links to your holiday posts on my blog, if you want to share how you are dealing with the holiday. I will post something on Sunday for this purpose.

Peace of mind is the most important thing for you on the holiday. So prioritize your mental well being. Don’t be afraid to say NO to people, and use the “spoonie method” to get through.

Much love,

Annie💕

Strawberry Memories and Baby

When my daughter was less than one year old, I bought her three strawberry shortcake dolls. She loved them so much and called them “Oh baby” when she was looking for them. I spent the rest of the summer stopping the car at every yard sale I saw, searching for more. 

She ended up with about 6 of them, by the end of that summer. She always knew how many she had, even though she could not count…well, she did not know the numbers. She would always look for the last one, if she was missing one in her hand. 

I still remember when I handed her two dolls and she was upset and began searching for the third one. I was surprised that she knew how many she should have, because she was just a baby. But she certainly did know. 

Self Love is not Selfishness

Mother’s Love for Teenage Daughter Poem

*This is a poem I wrote for my daughter when she was 16 years old, after a traumatic sweater incident.   As out children get older, we come to the realization that we will not always be able to protect them from the troubles in the world. The ideal of “Mommy can Fix Everything with a Kiss”  becomes something like a dream from a past life.  There is a sadness to this realization that they will be going out into a world that often has darkness to it. So the little “fixes” we can offer take on a whole new meaning. 

 

With my Own Two Hands

Sirens whiz by on the road outside
Someone unknown to me is in trouble
I say a silent prayer.

The six o’clock news shows a video
People are homeless from a hurricane
I offer a silent prayer.

An accident occurs on the road as I drive
A person is in trouble
I call 911 on my cell.

My daughter spills hair dye on the new sweater
Her grandmother gave her for Christmas.
She cries.

I take her to the store and buy her an identical one

I tell her Grandma will never know
Happy to do it because

at least
for now…
She still has problems I can fix
With my own two hands.

Baby Sunflower

I just came across this baby picture of my younger daughter, as I was cleaning out some old boxes. I remember putting this sunflower head piece on her. She was such a beautiful baby 🙂

And now she is still beautiful 🙂 

 

Follow Your Dreams

People will try to force you into a box. You are supposed to fit into one of the pre-made boxes of society. Your family may also expect you to fit into a box that they have assigned to you. 

You only have this life to be free and to experience all that you can and all that you want to. If you are stuck living in someone else’s box , then you cannot spread your wings and fly. 

The boxes are all the same ones that other people have fit into before. It just makes you a cardboard cut-out of other people. But you are unique and unlike anyone who has come before you.

You have can blossom and follow your own dreams. Listen to your true inner voice. Every time you push your true voice down, your authentic self is rejected. This rejection lowers your self esteem and self confidence. 

It is bad enough that other people minimize you, reject your ideas, and try to mold you into something you are not. You do not have to do it to yourself. 

The tendency to undermine yourself, and minimize yourself is something that was programmed into you by other people, when you were young. Any guilt you feel about expressing yourself, is also programmed into you by society and / or your family. 

Beliefs that you hold must be examined carefully , so you can let go of any beliefs that no longer serve you.

Your ideas are valid. They do not have to be perfect.

Ideas are starting places to create your unique path.

Your dreams are there for a purpose.

Don’t let anyone tell you what you can and cannot accomplish. You can figure that out as you follow your heart, your true thoughts and your real values. 

Single Moms Have Heart

Shine and a Cure Bunny Pic

Amazing Resemblance Genealogy

This is a picture of my great grandmother on the left. She is my father’s mother’s mother. Her name was Mary Pacholski. 

The picture on the right is my daughter. My father sent me these two pictures together to show me where my daughter gets her beauty from the Polish side of my family.

My other daughter resembles my mother’s side of the family. My younger daughter , pictured above, was so happy to  finally feel like she looked like someone in the family. My father noticed this resemblance just after I had emailed him the picture of my daughter.