insomnia, mental illness, single mom, single mother, single mother anxiety, single mother depression, single parent, single parenting

Good Morning

I woke up to use the bathroom…which is what my bladder does three times during my sleep every night…and I was able to catch my older daughter before she brushed her teeth.

I told her to use the bottled water to brush he teeth because I do not know what is up with this water.

I got a lot of suggestions on the last post and hopefully the house owners will have it fixed by the time I get home from work because they use the water too.

If for some reason my ex mother in law is not disturbed by the water then it will not get looked at until my ex father in law comes home in a couple of days from New York.

Let’s hope it bothers her to use it. It is hard to say with them. She frequently uses very expired ingredients to cook food with for the kids so her germaphobia is about the opposite of mine.

The fact that I have OCD and am now washing my hands in what appears to be contaminated water is disturbing. I have been using hand sanitizer after I wash my hands.

Luckily I have a small bottle in my purse most all of the time….best invention ever! Yay!

So I was able to let the kids know to use bottled water for teeth brushing. Thank goodness I had half a case left.

I am going to try to sleep another hour and a half now. I did not fall asleep until around 5am which is a little worse than usual.

One day I might get back on a better sleep schedule. But for now I need to get another hour or so before going to my babysitting /tutoring job at 2.

See you all later on. I will let you know how things are going later. The worst part of things like this is that it puts in my face about this living situation.

I know that they will not fix something unless they want it fixed…even though I pay them 1,000 rent a month, for this badly maintained attic. It is sad really.

Talk to you later 🐇🐇❤💙🐇🐇

Annie

animals, bunnies, fall fun, farm, Halloween, hay rides, kids, parenting, single mom, single mother

Sun High Orchard Activity for the Kids

sunhigh

This weekend is Halloween weekend. I promised my daughter that we would do fun activities on that weekend. I am planning to take her to the Haunted Scare House, but I want to do a daytime activity too.

fall_hayrideslarge_pumpkins_apples_mums

Sun High Orchard is a family owned farm that is about a 15 minute drive to get to from my house. They have animals that you can feed like sheep, and goats. There are a lot of bunnies….YAY! If you have been following me for a while then you know how I love love love bunnies.

baby_bunny_matt

bunny_in_cage

There is a little store there that sells homemade bread, apple butter, and jellies. The store has some antiques as decorations, which will be interesting for my daughter to see. I think the last time I took her she was too young to appreciate the antiques.

fall_color_at_farm

There are some photos from the web site HERE

http://www.sunhigh.com/page/page/4862850.htm

daughters, family, life, parenting, poem, poetry, single parenting

With my Own Two Hands – poem for my teenage daughter

Sirens whiz by on the road outside
Someone unknown to me is in trouble
I say a silent prayer.
The six o’clock news shows a video
People are homeless from a hurricane
I offer a silent prayer.
An accident occurs on the road as I drive
A person is in trouble
I call 911 on my cell.
My daughter spills hair dye on the new sweater
Her grandmother gave her for Christmas.
She cries…
I take her to the store and buy her an identical one
Happy to do it because
at least
for now…
She still has problems I can fix
With my own two hands.

gentle kindness, life, life coach annie

Hello from Annie ! and some Pictures …

annie wird 3

I am getting ready to take  my 12 year old daughter to the mall. I thought I would share some pictures of myself with you. It has taken me a long time to grown my hair back out  long again.

I am afraid of hair dressers because they always chop off my long hair no matter what  tell them. So this time I cut and angled the front and sides myself with special hair cutting scissors you can buy at a beauty supply store.

annie wordannie word 2annie word 6annie word 9annie word 8annie word 7annie word 4'

art, ducks, lakes, life, nature, photography, single mom, single mother

Hedden Park Photography by my Daughter

park trees lake rockss

bridgeparl trees lake rocks 2

park trees lake rocks

These are pictures that my twelve year old daughter took. She is developing a love for photography. These were taken at Hedden Park which is near to my home in New Jersey.

This is a great quality time activity that costs nothing. It was relaxing to walk in the nature and enjoy the beautiful discoveries together.

life, nature, parenting, photography

Crystal Clear Lake with Cloud Reflections – photography

duck with cloud reflection

The water at the park on this day was crystal clear. It was like a mirror. You could see the clouds and the trees in the water like they were real.

The ducks were all out enjoying the sunshine and my daughter found some great opportunities for pictures, using my cell phone camera.

My daughter, the little photographer,  took lots of pictures this day. I will divide them between posts. . I was impressed at how well these came out. I promised her I would post them for you all to see.

duck tress clouds

art, clouds photography, life, nature, parenting, photography, single mom, single mother

My Daughter and I Took These Cloud Photos

cloudsclouds 3

clouds 5

clouds 2<

My 12 year old daughter loves to take pictures with my cell phone. Any time she sees anything that looks like it would make a good photo, we stop and take pictures. She has gotten very good at keeping an eye out for beautiful nature.  

Every now and then I have to find a place to pull the car over, especially if it is a rainbow or a sunset that is limited by time. Otherwise if we are almost to where we are going, then we get the pictures when we get to the place and park the car.

These were taken last week from a parking lot of a doctor’s office. We got them when we came out from the appointment before we got into the car to drive home. 

codependence, life, mental health, people pleaser syndrome, toxic people

People Pleasers, Codependent People and Self Care

Many people that some from abusive backgrounds have forgotten or never learned how to love and care for themselves. What comes naturally to most people does not come naturally to everyone.

If you have a codependent personality, suffer from People Pleaser Syndrome, or just seem to keep ending up putting the needs of others over yours, even to the point of it causing you harm, then you probably never learned how to care for yourself well.

It probably puzzles you how other people seem to have it all together and you always feel behind. You feel like you are always the one who cannot do what other people can do.

One of the reasons for this could be that other people are spending a reasonable amount of time taking care of the things they need to take care of in order to be okay. They make sure that other people do not guilt them into doing things for them, when there are important things they need to do for themselves.

It is not a matter of not helping other people. It is a matter of not putting yourself and your needs last. You have bills to pay just like everyone else. You have a right to eat well, rest and exercise just like everyone else.

When people try to cut into your time that you need to take care of yourself, then you have to practice telling them no. People may be shocked at first, because they are not used to you setting normal boundaries. But think about what they would do of you demanded that they neglect something that they really need to do, in order to take care of something for you that you could take care of yourself.

Many times we agree to do favors for people who could take care of it themselves but they are just making time for themselves to do something extra. In the mean time, you are neglecting something that is much more important that if it were them, they would never even consider allowing you to interfere with by asking for a favor.

Other times they could easily get someone else, who has more time and more ability to do it, but that other person is also busy taking of themselves and they are keeping the free time to do something they want to do.

There should be a fair balance between people. You should not be guilt tripped into doing something that someone else could find another way to get done, at the cost of your basic needs being neglected.

You have to prioritize

1. Sleep

2. Work

3. Exercise and health

4. Nutrition

5. Your money situation

6. Your personal space and time

7. Personal hygiene

8. dr appts

9. Your comfort about situations

10. Your plans

11. Your schedule

12. Your mental health

13. Your physical health

14. the relationships you value

15. the time you need to clean the house or any other chores

16. time to get your errands done

17. your family situation and responsibilities

18. your personal emergencies or urgent situations

19. taking care of your car repairs and maintenance

20. Relax time for you

21. Anything that you feel frustrated about if it does not get done

22. Anything that you feel frustrated about if you do not have enough time to do it properly

People who have People Pleaser Syndrome are easily manipulated into neglecting these very basic needs because they do not really know if it is okay to prioritize themselves. In the mean time everyone else makes sure that they take care of these basics and then they use the extra time to do some extra things  which puts them ahead of you at something.

You are the one who does not get the promotion at work even though you worked harder than everyone else. That is because while you were helping other people with their job, they were using the time to get ahead of you. People will take what they can get a lot of the time.

Everyone is not like you. They will not try to balance out the favor . They will not all cover for you just because you covered for them.

Learn who is taking advantage of you on a regular basis and cut them off. Tell them that you has a certain amount of favors allotted for each person in your life and that they have already used up their lifetime of favors.

Take care of the people who care about you. Look at the actions of people and not just their words. Notice when people are only nice to you when they want something. Notice when people expect you to do something rather than asking you with no expectation.

See what different people do when you say no. The ones who try to guilt trip or shame you are manipulative people. Anyone else would accept and respect your no.