#narcissistic abuse, abusive relationships, anxiety, chronic pain, mental illness

Ten Messages About Self Care and Self Love

.bed self care

image from Pinterest  HERE


1. Self care and kindness.


2. It is okay to need things.


3. You deserve to have things that you want, just like everyone else does.


4. It is not selfish to prioritize your emotional and mental health, over what other people want.


5. You are not “the only” person who can help someone, no matter what tell you. With the exception of your children under your cate, other people can and will find someone else to help them if you need to tell them NO.


6. It is okay to tell people NO, if you do not want to do something. Notice how many times they have helped you or not helped you. Some people always take from others and never give. Save your energies for someone who will really appreciate you.

.bed room

image from Pinterest HERE


7. You can and should be comfortable in your surroundings. Taking time to declutter your bedroom and set things up nicely is a good use of your time. If you need to give out a few NO’s to people who are sucking your time….then do so.


8. Sleep is not wasted time. Sleep is a necessary altered state of our consciousness. Part of our life is existing on that alternate plane of reality. It integrates your conscious mind with your subconscious.



image from Pinterest HERE



9. Eat from all the food groups. Think ahead about planning your food for the week and include healthy snacks. Low blood sugar causes brain fog, confusion, memory problems and fatigue.


10. You are equally worthy and valuable to anyone else on the planet. Negative “self talk” is actually bad programming and corruption of your brain software, put in like a malicious virus by emotionally abusive people.

#domestic abuse, #narcissism, abusive relationships, adult children of abuse, adult children of alcoholics, adult children of narcissistic abuse', adult children of narcissistic parents, adult children with alcoholic parents, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, avoidant personality disorder, bipolar disorder, c-ptsd, chronic fatigue, Chronic pain and depression, daughter of narcissist, domestic abuse, domestic violence, emotional abuse, healing from abuse, healing from domestic abuse, healing from narcissistic abuse, health, health and wellness, mental health, mental illness, mental illness blog, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, Ptsd from abuse, PTSD from narcissistic abuse, self love, self-help, suicidal, suicidal thoughts, suicide, teen health, teen mental health

Thoughts on Depression and C-PTSD from emotional Abuse

Depression can make you feel like staying in bed and not interacting with other people. You know that if you go out of the house, you will feel different and out of place.

Other people will not understand your inner world. You feel like you will be forced to put on a mask to fit in. It is difficult to function.

You get more and more internalized. So you self isolate, and limit your social interactions. This is understandable because certain kinds of interactions can be emotionally traumatizing.

You feel like the one person that is out of place in the world.  You sit alone and hear the thoughts that come up from your subconscious. Thoughts that there is something wrong with you.

Some of the feelings you get are from emotional flashbacks. There are things that happened and ways you were rejected during childhood that cause your subconscious to store these kinds of feelings.

If you can identify the false beliefs behind your thoughts, then the feelings can be sat with and calmed. You were not born feeling like you did not belong in the world. These thoughts were taught to you….even brainwashed into you.

When you have a feeling that is painful, like hopelessness…try to discover what core belief that thought is driven by. The belief might be that you are not as good as other people. .. Or that the world is unsafe.

If you are carrying the core belief that you are less adequate than other people…that is a bad programming. These things are programmed into children who do not have emotionally supportive childhoods.

Think back to your childhood and if you were made to feel insignificant, unworthy, unneccesary, or anything else negative. If your thoughts and feelings were dismissed, criticized, or made fun of then you are probably carrying CPTSD…complex post traumatic stress disorder.

People with C-PTSD often get depressed or feel extreme anxiety. You may have trouble keeping up with other people or feeling normal.

Those false core beliefs that were fed to you can be re-programmed. You need to question each one of those negative beliefs about yourself. Be like a scientist attempting to disprove a theory.

If you feel that something is wrong with you compared to other people, then ask what things are Right about you. Write them down. Engage in activities that prove you are as good or better at those activities, than other people are.

Look at the qualities of your parents and whomever fed those negative, false beliefs to you, about yourself. What kind of people are they?

Would you consider those people reliable critics? Did tbey have any agenda in which lowering your power would have helped them?

If those people told you something bad about the character of a person you love right now….would you believe their opinion without question? Or is their opinion not reliable?

You can begin to go out and interact with people in small increments. Go over your present state of mind, before you go out…and before you leave your car. You can just sit in your car for a few minutes and listen to music that calms or peps up your nervous system.

How you feel when you interact with others is based on the current state of your nervous system, how much sleep you have had, your mental state, and your blood sugar.

You can think of those categories and assess each of them, before you go into a store or any other place. Then you will feel more in touch with yourself and have some ways to help yourself.

If you are interested in learning. NLP State Management techniques, you can send me a message via my web site


For information about C-PTSD and how emotional abuse causes depression and anxiety disorders, join us at the gentlekindness facebook page.

You are special. Your gifts and personality are an important part of the puzzle of humanity. You are connected with all living things in an important way.

You matter. You have a unique voice that other people need to hear. You have special characteristics that someone really needs right now.

You have innate value.


Annie. Gentlekindnesscoaching.com

Gentlekindness facebook page

Annie Mimi Hall youtube channel

abuse, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, anxiety, anxiety disorder, c-ptsd, Chronic pain and depression, Chronic pain and mental illness, compassion, depression, Domestic abuse blog, emotional abuse, mental health, mental illness

Mental Illness, Depression, Hating Waking Up in the Morning

If you wake up every morning feeling anxiety, depression and completely overwhelmed at the thought of scraping through another day, you are not alone.

Once the day gets going after a few hours, you can get into autopilot mode, or somehow tolerate the things you have to do in order to survive. But upon waking up, you feel like one more day of painful suffering existance might be too much.

You feel alone and like there is something horribly wrong with your life. It is so severe upon opening your eyes in the morning that you cannot imagine anyone else would understand.

You are not alone. This is an important situation that gets worse being left in the darkness. Feel free to express your feelings in the comments here….if you are experiencing…or have ever experienced this.

depression, guitar, life, mental health, mental illness, music, poetry, songs out mental illness, suicude

Song for World Suicide Prevention Day I wrote yesterday – Everyone is Too Young for Suicide

This is my offering for World Suicide Prevention Day. I actually wrote this yesterday on September 10 which was the day. I was not able to upload it until  today. Enjoy the song and pass it along.



anxiety, depression, life, mental health, mental illness

Depression is Just as Real as Physical Illness

Depression is different for different people. While there are similar experiences and feelings, there is no typical pattern that everyone has.

However your depression in for you is real and just as valid as anyone else’s depression.

It can hang on for long stretches on time from a few weeks to a few months. It can seem to go away and then reappear without any warning.

Some people have periods of the day where they are mostly fine only to wake up feeling the darkness of depression covering them like a black blanket in the morning. Depression can feel like the enemy.

There is no normal way to have depression because depression is not the normal way for the brain to behave.

There are organic differences in the brains of people who suffer from depressive disorders. It is a real illness with physiological evidence. Anyone that tells you that it is not real has not done their homework.

One of the worst things about having depression is that people will invalidate you and tell you that you are being a baby. They are able to shake off their sadness and frustration …so why can’t you?

Well, it does not work that way. People with depression cannot just shake it off or will themselves to get better. There is no magic pill to take or fairy wand to wave.

Depression haunts you and threatens you.

Medication can sometimes help but it is not a magic pill that cures you.

If you are suffering with depression, please know that you are not alone. There are many bloggers that write about depression. You can find support here so that you will not have to feel completely alone. 

depression hurts

People with mental illness are threatened and tormented by their own brains just like people with physical diseases are threatened by their own bodies.

In addition mental illnesses like depression also cause physical pain. There is a real feeling in the body that depression causes. It is different for different people but there is always pain in the body.

Don’t give up. You are not alone. Your mental health matters and you have just as much of a right to feel well as anyone else does.



anxiety, depression, life, mental health, mental illness

Depression as a Disorder

depression hurts

When is depression a disorder?

People feel depressed from time to time. It is usually in relation to a sad or severely disappoining life event. People feel depressed when they go through a partner break up, lose their job or are grieving the death of a loved one.

Normal depression can last for a couple of days to a couple of weeks. People may socialize less and have periods of crying. Often times they will reach out to friends and loved ones, who help them through the hard time.

Emotional / mental conditions become disorders when they start to cause your life to become disorderly, and unmanagable.

Some of the signs that depression may be a disorder include:

1. Inability to maintain a normal, healthy sleep schedule

2. Lack of interest in activities that you used to enjoy.

3. Inability to enjoy simple pleasures such as good tasting food.

4. Lack of caring about personal grooming and personal hygeine.


6.Thoughts that life has no purpose or suicidal thoughts.

7. Inability to feel motivated to take care of basic household chores / house falling into disarray.

8. Lack of interest in sex.

9. Feeling that your presence will bring other people down.

10. Lasting for many weeks or months and not getting better.

11. Feelings of worthlessness, and  hopelessnes.

12. Fear for your mental well being.

13. Unusual, unhealthy eating patterns, weight gain or loss.

14. Feeling like there is something wrong with you as a person.

If you feel like your depression is continuing for too long without getting better, that is enough of a reason to reach out for help or seek professional treatment.

Feelings of severe hopelessness are not normal. Thoughts of having no purpose or being worthless are also not normal or healthy.

Your mental health is very important. It affects your quality of life. If you feel like you used to be a different person and cannot get back in touch with the part of you that used to care about the enjoyment of life,  then this is a reason to seek help.

You do not have to feel guilty or ashamed about having depression or any kind of mental/ psychological disorder. It does not make you weak.

Depression can be caused by different things. Normal depression coincides with life events. It might be a disorder if it did not occur in relationship with any events.

It could also have developed into a disorder if it has lasted longer than you think it should have based on the initial circumstances that it started with.

It is not normal or healthy to live with depression. You have just as much of a right to quality of life as anyone else does.

Everyone will not understand. If you have tried to talk to someone and they minimized or discounted your depression then it is not the right person to talk to.

People that have never experienced mental illness do not always understand or take it seriously. It does not mean that everyone will react in the same way.

The best indication that you may need professional mental health treatment is that you are wondering if you do. It is not a regular thought that people usually have.

Your feelings of of unworthines or guilt may tend to keep you from reaching out for help. This should be another red flag to you that you do need help.

Depression that has not resolved itself, or is getting worse may be serious and you should consider being evaluated.

You are a special and unique person. Your quality of life is worth whatever it takes to improve it. Do not give up if the first effort of seeking help is not successful.



depression, empowerment, life, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, suicidal thoughts


Depression can hit anyone. Some people are more susceptible to periods of depression than others but it can come seemingly out of nowhere and attack your brain.

Depression involves more than just feeling depressed. It can cause physical pain in the body. It can cause feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. There is often a feeling of darkness that feels like it has settled around your mind and even around you in a physical way.

It is hard to be in a state of depression because many people around you will not understand what is going on with you and it is very hard to describe to people who have not experienced it. 

Depression can often happen to creative, intelligent people and to people who are sensitive to their feelings and the feelings of others. 

Many things can trigger depression.

With some people it is linked to organic differences in their brain. People with bipolar disorder, for example, have differences in their brain that cause depression to come on suddenly and last for long periods ot time or sometimes shorter periods of time. Different people are different and their brains are wired differently.

I mentioned the problem of people not understanding and there are other very painful things about depression. The lack of understanding from people can cause self isolation on the part of the sufferer. The depressed person can feel like they are being injured by the suggestions of the other people.

When people do not understand depression they tend to offer “unhelpful helpfulness” and if you are a person that has struggled with depression before then you know what I mean.

People will tell you to just shake it off, to get some exercise, and they will try to force you to go out into social situations that may be traumatizing to you. People get offended and take it personally when you do not feel like socializing. This creates a feeling of being an alien that does not fit in with the other people on this planet.

You can feel like you are the only person that is incapable of interacting with other people. You may feel like you are bringing other people down with your mood. There is a feeling that you will lose relationships and actually there is a possibility of actually losing relationships with certain people, but those people were probably not worth keeping on your friend list anyway.

You are not alone. There are many of us who have suffered from depression. If you feel alone, then please search the tag depression on wordpress and connect with other people who will validate your feelings. You are not an alien on the planet, but you may feel that way in your immediate social circle and in your family.

Sometimes periods of depression need to be gone through in order to get to the other side.

There can be reasons that we are not even aware of for the depression we are in. Betrayals, disappointments about life. disillusionment about humanity, can all cause us to become in a period of needing to reflect and re-evaluate our purpose and our lives.

We can become aware that our original “map of reality” does not match the actual reality of the world we are living in. This concept of map of reality is something that I heard on the Spartan Life Coach channel. He has many helpful videos that I recommend for people with C-PTSD from childhood mental abuse.

If you came from a disordered, mentally abusive childhood or you felt invisible during your childhood, then you are prone for depressive episodes. In very disrupted childhoods, there are certain developmental stages that can be missed and the mental software for dealing with certain situations and certain kinds of people in the world, was not given to you.

Depression can occur after an abusive relationship, even if you do not see the relationship as having been abusive. If you were emotionally abused as a child or a teenager then you will be prone to see certain treatment as just the way it is, whereas other people would see them as inappropriate or abusive.

When you long for certain things to be true in the world and they turn out not to be true, then this can cause a major depression. Some children of alcoholics and other mentally abusive childhoods have trouble accepting certain aspects of reality to be what they are. Your reality was confused and interfered with as a child. 

You may have been taught that you have to tolerate abuse in order to show your love for other people. You may also have been conditioned to continue on in situations that make you miserable. Your capacity to  make changes for your own benefit may have been interfered with.

You have the right to make changes for your own mental health and happiness.
You have the right to feel depressed if that is how you feel.
You have the right to refuse to socialize or to choose how, when, where  and how long you want to interact with others.
Being forced to socialize, under someone else’s terms, is being manipulated.
Being forced to hide your emotions, and to seem happy in order to make other people comfortable can be retraumatizing.
Feeling invisible is bad. You should not go into situations where you feel like no one sees the real you, or cares about what is going on with you.
Reaching out to others is good, especially if they have experienced depression and can validate what you are feeling.
Being yourself is critical and the right to feel what you feel is necessary.
Grieving for losses is necessary. Losses can include…
loss of youth
loss of a job
loss of loved ones who died, even if it was years ago
loss of innocent beliefs…such as the world is a wonderful place and everyone is basically good
loss if previous identity…you are who you are now…there will be times for changing and growing based on experiences and learning more about the world….of your identity needs to be altered that is okay…but we can grieve for a past identity also
loss of comforting surroundings
loss of anything that you feel was a real loss, no one can tell you what is more important to you that something else should be…your feelings are valid

You have a right to your feelings and the depression will continue to get worse if you try to deny your feelings, avoid processing losses, or allow others to try to force you to pretend or to act the way they want you to.

Your depression is unique just like you are unique

People cannot tell you that you have a great life and that you have no reason to be depressed. They do not know all of the things about you, or what could be causing the depression. You may not even be aware of all the things that are going on in your brain. 

It is a time to get to know yourself better and to care for yourself, and to grieve over losses. It is a time to give yourself permission to feel things. It is a time to draw boundaries with other people about them telling you that they know what you need.

Think about what you would say to someone if the asked you “What can I do to help you?” 

You may not have an answer right away, but I want you to think about that answer to the question. If you can identify things that would be helpful to you, then it might be a way to communicate with certain people who may be able to help you in a real way. 

In the mean time you can help yourself by thinking about what you can do for yourself and what you need.

depression, mental health, mental illness, suicidal thoughts, suicude

Suicide Resources , Facts and Information

I feel that I should start this post with the following information.

Lifeline, the national suicide prevention hotline for USA

Phone: If you are in crisis you can call anytime  1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Website: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

The American Foundation for Suicide Preventionhttp://www.afsp.org/

Below is a link for the National Institute for Mental health , section on suicide prevention


If you are not in the USA then there are international suicide hotlines to call. The responders to the calls are trained in suicide prevention and know about mental illness.

Suicide is in the top ten list for causes of death in the United States. Unfortunately, it claims more lives each year than the year before. This is an epidemic which deserves attention and research to find solutions.

There are about 1 million suicide attempts each year in the US and the numbers continue to rise. If you feel alone in considering suicide, you are not. There are people right now, like you, that feel alone and do not know how to reach out to for help.

Many suicides are people who had a mental illness that was not being treated. It is possible that treatment could have saved their lives.

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, someone commits suicide about every 14 minutes, in the United States. This is about  40,000 lives lost every year.

Adolescent suicide is a reality that many people want to ignore and pretend that it does not exist.

According to the National Institute for Mental Health,

” Suicide is the second leading cause of death among teens aged 12-17, accounting for about 1,000 deaths in 2011 . A 2013 survey indicated that as many as 2.7 percent of high school students nationwide made a suicide attempt”

It is difficult to gather exact statistics about self harm because many people, including teens and preteens , do not tell anyone about their self harm behaviors. It is their way of feeling some power over their circumstances, when they otherwise feel powerless. It is often a secret kept from family and friends.

There is research that estimates that 14-24 percent of adolescents have self harmed at least once. Many of them have done it many times and continue to do so.

Make no mistake, self harm is a big red flag! If someone you know is injuring themselves then they are at risk for suicide.

A recent study by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration found that one in five Americans is living with some type of mental health condition. Mental illness like depression, severe anxiety, PTSD , bipolar disorder and many others can be a risk factor for self harm or suicide.

The stress response known as fight-or-flight is driven by the stress hormone cortisol, which is regulated by a part of the neuroendocrine system called the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis.

There is research that shows that there can be a genetic predisposition to suicide and suicide attempts. There is a great article which gives all the specifics in the link below.


If you are wondering about the symptoms of yourself or someone else, there are some suicide warning signs that are critical to know.

Someone who talks about the following things, is a possible suicide risk:

  • Killing themselves.
  • Having no reason to live.
  • Being a burden to others.
  • Feeling trapped.
  • Unbearable pain.

Other behaviors that should alert your attention include:

loss of interest in activities they love, self-isolation from family and friends, giving away important possessions and making phone calls to people that sound like they are saying goodbye to them.

Each of those people leaves an average of 6 family members and close friends who are traumatized by the suicide. So if you are a survivor of the suicide of a loves one, you are not alone. There is help for you.

Suicide  of a loved one is extremely traumatizing and can cause PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), depression, and severe anxiety. In another words, you may be suffering from mental illness now, if you survived the suicide of a family member or a friend.

The links below will give you a beginning to finding ways to get help for your trauma. Find a way to seek help if you feel like you need it.




There are medications for depression and other mental illnesses. There are many kinds of  therapists. For some people , therapy is very helpful.

There are many people on wordpress.com that really care about you. We are the “wounded healers”  The wounded healers have experienced severe trauma, mental illness and abuse. We are compassionate about the suffering of others that we can relate to.

You can search by tags for suicide, mental illness, depression, ptsd, bipolar disorder, and other mental illness related tags.

Read people’s stories. Comment on their posts. Keep reading and searching until you find someone that will understand and will reach out to you. There are many in this community.

I have seen people become suicidal and post their feelings and even their plans for suicide on wordpress. It was their only outlet because at this point they had cut off family and friends.

So many bloggers responded to these suicidal posts that the people felt enveloped in care and concern from strangers who really reached out to them. Many people had a change of heart after reading all the comments that other bloggers wrote.

The same goes for survivors of suicide. There are wounded healers that are survivors of suicide here as well. If you search the tags and keep trying, you will find someone that will listen and understand. Sometimes the best first step to healing is to find someone that will understand and validate your suffering.

I hope this post has provided some helpful information for you. If anyone wants to put a link to their mental illness blog in the comments , as a way of adding that information to this post, feel free to do do.

If you are reaching out for help, please also feel free to put a link to your blog in the comments below.  If you are viewing wordpress from a google search and do not have a wordpress blog, it is very easy to set up a wordpress account. You do not have to post a picture in your profile. You can always use an avatar.

That is about all I can think of to say at this time. We were brought into the world needing the community of others. There are people in the world that will understand you. Don’t give up until you find them.

abnormal psychology, depression, life, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, suicidal thoughts, suicude

Is Suicide a Selfish Act ?….People who post opinions on the internet about suicide,… who have no idea what they are talking about

Suicide is a last resort. It is not a selfish act designed to inflict guilt or punishment upon others. It is not a selfish act in the way that I have seen it talked about online many times.

I don’t know how many times I have seen people write things similar to “They were so selfish. Didn’t they think about the effect this would have on their loved ones? How could they just think of themselves and no one else?”

This is about as backwards of a statement as I have even seen about any topic. It completely lacks any understanding of what goes on in the mind of a suicidal person. Clearly the people writing statements such as these have never had a conversation with a suicidal person and obviously have never suffered from severe depression themselves.

It bothers me that the people that are making these statements, as if they are bringing enlightenment to suicidal people. They seem like they are trying to bring  comfort to the survivors of suicide. They have never been the survivor of a suicide and do not know how the loved ones feel.

Should they be making statements about the situation in a judgemental way? Will this make the survivors of their loved one’s suicide feel better?

No, let’s consider the sources of these words that the people so felt they had to post on the internet for all to see. All of the people that I have seen write words like these had nothing to do with suicide or depression. They have never had a loved one commit suicide. They have never taken the time to listen to and comfort a suicidal friend. 

They are detached from suicide and depression all together.

Then why? Why do they feel the need to post their opinions about suicide at all?

It makes them look good. It makes them look sane. It makes them look like they have it all together for their friends to see. 

It is the act of pointing a finger at someone else and thus showing how much better they are than the others. They are so much better than “those people” who are so selfish as to commit suicide and “do that” to their poor loved ones.

These people do not have any sympathy for the loved ones either.

Tell me ….what comfort is it to a loved one to read the following…”I can’t believe that person was so self centered. They never considered the feelings of the family. They did not care what their actions would do to the lives of their family.”

Would that be comforting to you, if your sister had just killed themselves? Would those words make you feel better…vindicated…able to place the blame on you son…who had just hung himself in your home?


These people are posting these words, as if they know more than the suicide victim, in order to comfort the family. They are not posting them in order to keep other suicidal people from committing suicide.

Tell me..

If you were suicidal, would these words make you not want to commit suicide?….”People who commit suicide are selfish. They should think about their families and what impact their death would have on their family”


Why would these words not keep you from going through with it? More importantly….why would these words make you feel more certain that suicide was the right decision?

Because while these people are writing “Think about what your death will do to your loved ones”

...the suicidal person is thinking “My loved ones are suffering because of me. My loved ones would be better off without me.”

You see? 

The suicidal person has lost any feelings of worthiness and value. While these people are writing “It is so selfish to take your own life and cause suffering to your loved ones” ….they are also being very arrogant. 

Their arrogance is in the 
Your family will suffer so terribly without you in their lives” 

These people are sure that their own loved ones and family would suffer terribly without the presence of their amazing person in the lives of the family. 

They are essentially talking about themselves and how valuable they are. In saying that “I would never commit suicide. I would not do that to my loved ones”….they are advertising how great they are and how much of a loss the world as we know it, would have, if they were to no longer be in it.

They are using the suffering of some person who was on the evening news, in order to make themselves look good on facebook.

So, I see no compassion, nor wisdom in these posts on facebook by people who have never been any closer to suicide or depression than watching in on the evening news.

They  have no business posting their opinions about how the family must feel….they have no idea. 

They have no business posting comments on facebook about how the suicide victim felt….again they have no idea.

The suicide victim was not thinking of hurting the family. On the contrary, in their mind they were a burden, an inconvenience, a problem, a curse, ,,,not worthy of having been born.

You cannot make comments about how selfish the suicidal victim was, when you have no idea what was going on in their head…for a long….long ..time, before the suicide. 

There are many thoughts that go through the mind of the suicidal person. These thoughts go through their mind , on a regular basis, for a long, long time. Most suicide victims have thought about suicide and tried to talk themselves out of it for months or years.

Imagine having this voice in your head… “Everyone would be better off without you. You are not wanted. You are a burden. You should not have been born”

… this voice playing in your head… for years…..

If you cannot imagine this or relate to this, then you cannot speak for the intentions of the people who commit suicide

You battle against it, but it just keeps talking to you. Eventually people give in to the voice. They believe that the world will not miss them, mourn them,,and in fact will be better without them.

The people that are calling suicide a selfish act have no idea what they are talking about.

They do not know the suffering of feeling like you are worthless, a burden, in the way. They do not know what it is like to carry toxic shame from physical or sexual abuse from their childhood.

They do not know what some people have to carry as a constant burden on their soul. People carry memories about all kind of abuse from their childhoods. They go to therapy to try to get rid of their demons. 

The demons follow them and sometimes therapy is not enough. You cannot speak about how someone feels and that they were selfish, when they ended their lived in order to silence the voices, turn off the movies playing in their heads ,,,of horrors that most people will never ever know.

The judgemental people about suicide, cannot speak for people who have endured horrors that are unspeakable. They do not know what kind of abuse was occurring in the home of the suicide victim. How can you know whether or not the “Poor family” of the victim was abusing them behind closed doors. How do you know?

When you see the report if suicide on the tv, there are so many things about the family that you will never know. Why do these people assume the person’s family would miss them? How do you know?

All families do not love their children or teeangers. All families do not love their adult children. All husbands do not love their wives. Some of them subject their wives to all manner of mental torment and sometimes physical abuse.

You cannot judge someone that you do not know about their suicide. You do not know if it is a loss for their family. Maybe they were escaping their family in the only way they knew how.

Maybe they really felt that their mental illness was a burden on the family and that they were doing their family a favor by making this decision.

Every person is an individual. We all have unique ways of looking at things. Each suicide victim has their own story and voices playing in their heads.

Unless you know what the reality was of the individual person….Unless you know and can relate to the mental torment they had suffered…and for how long they had been suffering…..

Unless you are really aware of of  how the person was treated by their family…what kind of abuse they had endured during their childhood…and what monsters were following them in the shadows of their nightmares…..

then please keep your judgement of individual people , who you do not understand, yourselves, 

please keep general sweeping comments like “all people who commit suicide are selfish” to yourselves and do not post them where suicidal people can see them

People who commit suicide think about it for a long…long …time

They consider themselves a possible suicide victim long before they do anything about it.

They are reading your words….and thinking that they are now selfish to be considering suicide…on top of all the other pain that they are carrying…here is one more thing to carry…

how do we know that this is not “one more thing” too many?

anxiety, chronic pain, depression, life, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, ptsd

You are Special and Unique in the World


You are unique. There is only one person with your experiences, your talents and your inner light. The people who really see you and value you are the ones to hold close.

Anyone who tries to push down your self esteem does not warrant your giving them the chance to do so.

Your gifts are individual to you and the world is a better place with you in it.


You are special and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Your thoughts and feelings are important. Your voice deserves to be heard. You are gifted to share certain special gifts with others who will appreciate and benefit from them.

Mental illness does not make you less than other people. There have been many great contributors to culture and science that had mental illness.

Most importantly you are important to the ones closest to you… or there is someone waiting just for you to be in their lives. You never know who is in the world that needs you and is waiting to meet you.

Trust in your uniqueness and individuality.

 It is not in the ways that we are alike, but in the ways we are unique that make a difference.