A Philosophical Rant about the Rain

I can hear the rain beginning to pour onto the roof of the house. I am thinking about whether or not the car windows are up, or if I left them open. I am thinking about where the flashlights are just in case the power goes out.

These are practical things but they are also emotional things. The flashlight is practical but the fear of being in the dark house, is being mentally triggered by the sound of the rain.

The doubt in myself about the windows in the car, is a self doubt and fear, based on not feeling like I have been prepared in the past, for the events that occurred.

We can spend a lot of time worrying and trying to prepare for every possible scenario in life, but we will always miss one. It is not even that we miss it…but we just had no idea it was coming.

Life is full of unexpected things. Some things can be anticipated and other things cannot. There is no way to prepare ourselves for everything.  Sooner or later we will be in a situation that we had no possible way to prepare for.

The better thing to do….rather than try to mentally prepare for each possible scenario…is to prepare for the unexpected scenario. Our brains need to be in a state that can withstand the unexpected.

The more we try to worry, predict, and play out future scenarios in our minds, the less prepared we will be when the unexpected occurs. No one will avoid the unexpected, no matter what you do.

The difference between the resilience of people is in their capacity to deal with a completely surprising unknown. Our brains have great capacity to think and deal with circumstances.

We can think on our feet and adapt. We can draw on skills and information in our brains, in order to deal with a new and unexpected situation.

When we know that the unexpected will happen, then we will understand that we have to proceed through life with this knowledge and acceptance. We found our way through a lot of unexpected situations already. Not all of them were bad. Many of them were good.

Predictability does not always apply to things. We can only prepare for a portion of the things that could happen during the course of our days. Better to prepare the mind to be resilient in any circumstance. To accept the unknown as part of living this life.

If we accept the unknown as part of the adventure of life, then we will learn on our feet when we need to. We will find out what things we need to know,  just when we need to know them. Our brains have a great capacity to take in new information and also to adapt known information for new situations.

Know that your brain is adaptable and intelligent. You can be creative and inventive when you need to be. The brain can actually connect, reconnect and disconnect neurons , in a real organic way, in order to adapt to different situations and different behavioral patterns that are needed.

The brain is an amazing, adaptive organ and it can serve us when we need to be protected, or healed. The brain can problem solve, learn new information, adapt to new environments and accept new relationships. It can even accept and adapt to new realizations about reality itself.

Reality is made up of our experiences and the way we perceive those experiences. We can decide to interpret information into our reality, in a way that is helpful to us. We need our environment to support us. We need our perceptions about our experiences to support our mental health.

Looking at the unexpected as new experiences, can allow us to reduce our anxiety about not being prepared for everything. We prepare as we go along. We are not just stuck with what we have.

If our brains are malleable then we can create new ways to perceive things. We do not have to be stuck with the same way we have always perceived things. Our brains can change and learn to have a different perspective about the past, which can change the way we see ourselves in the present.

If we see ourselves in the present in a way that supports us better, then we can be less afraid of the unknowns in our future. If our current thinking does not support our mental health, then we can begin to allow our brains to take in new information that has the capacity to change our perspective about the reality we personally exist in.

Sleep Apnea – Tiredness, Fatigue and Memory Impairment

Sleep Apnea affects 4 % of Americans. About 1 out of 4 middle aged men in America suffer from Sleep Apnea.  Studies suggest that memory impairments can occur from disrupted sleep.

In Sleep Apnea, the sleep cycles are disrupted by periods of difficult breathing. In a new study by  Dr. Andrew Varga,  at the NYU Langone Medical Center in New York City, subjects had impairments in their spatial memory from disrupted REM sleep cycles.

After a night of improper REM sleep, the subjects had difficulty remembering the placement of items and what they did with things the day before.

The REM stage of sleep is the Rapid Eye Movement stage. This is the deep sleep where we have dreams. The REM stage of sleep is critical for the body to repair any tissue damage from the day, such as muscle microtears. It also has to do with processing memories.

A person with disrupted REM sleep may forget where they placed the car keys the day before and have trouble remembering where they parked their car. Another consequence of  incomplete REM cycles is inability to focus and pay attention.

There are 2 different types of Sleep Apnea. They are Obstructive Sleep Apnea and Central Sleep Apnea. The causes for the 2 types are different but both of them cause difficulty breathing during sleep and periods of waking up in the middle of  sleep cycles.

Obstructive Sleep Apnea has to do with the airway becoming obstructed.  The muscles in the throat becoming too relaxed and causing a narrowing of the airway. The brain will become aware of low oxygen levels and force you awake to reposition yourself.

Usually people do not remember these brief periods of waking. Every time someone wakes up for a few seconds, it disrupts the sleep stage they are in.

The brain and the rest of the body are not able to finish what they are supposed to do, during that cycle. There are certain repairs and regeneration of tissue that naturally occur during REM sleep.

The 2nd type is less common. Central Sleep Apnea is caused by a problem in the brain.  The brain is supposed to send signals to the lungs to breath.

The brain of  person with Central Sleep Apnea, fails to continuously send the signals properly. The lungs will simply stop doing their job.  The body and the brain will fail to get the necessary level of oxygen, which will cause the person to wake up.

Again, with this type of Sleep Apnea, the person will awaken just long enough to be able to breath properly again. Someone with Central Sleep Apnea may wake up with  shortness of breath.

Men are twice s likely to get sleep apnea. It is most common in men 60 or more. Being overweight contributes to your risk as well as having a family history of Sleep Apnea.  Certain medications are possible contributing factors, such as excessive use of muscle relaxers.

Central Sleep Apnea can occur with people that have heart disease or have had a stroke. It can also be a co-morbidity with neurological disease like ALS.

People that have Sleep Apnea can have  morning headaches and depression. Some people have an increased frequency of urination.

If you have extreme tiredness and sleepiness during the day along with any of the other symptoms I mentioned, you may want to see your doctor.  There are treatments that would reduce your symptoms.

They also could check you for other types of sleep disorders and medical conditions that could be causing the constant fatigue and tiredness.  There are mental illnesses such as depression that can cause some of these symptoms as well as other physical disorders.

Namaste,

Annie

When Someone with Mental Illness Reaches Out to You / Scenario 2 – Post Traumatic Stress

This is my second scenario and a Do’s and Don’t list for helping someone with mental suffering.
To read my introduction to this series and Scenario 1 , please see older posts at this blog.

Scenario 2 –

Sarah calls you and is in Post Traumatic Stress. Something at work triggered her. She tells you she is in a state of terrible fear. She feels like her job is in danger. She feels like there is an imminent threat to her financial stability. Then she tells you that feels like she will die soon. The walls of her house are closing in on her. She feels like an animal trapped in a cage ready to be eaten.
She cries and says she wants to kill herself. She would rather kill herself than be eaten.

Don’t Say – You are being really dramatic and unrealistic.
(Sarah is not being a drama queen. In the post traumatic stress state, her perception of immediate danger is very real. The amygdala part of the brain goes into hyper alert state and tells the person to choose fight or flight. When someone is in post traumatic stress, fight or flight state, they tend to have an overwhelming urge to run. They want to run but there is no where to run to. This is a terrifying place to be.)

Don’t Say – You are acting like a child. You need to grow up and act like an adult.
(It is not uncommon for someone to regress into a child state during a ptsd attack.It is the brain’s way of protecting itself. The person has no control over it.

Even if you were to force them out of the regression too early, it would be dangerous for their mind. There is always the possibility of a person’s brain becoming disorganized permanently)

Don’t Say – Did you take your meds today?
( Unless they specifically asked you to be in charge of whether or not they take their medication, this comment is condescending. What meds they have taken today is not the point. It is not what they are asking you for help with

They are asking for help with their fear. Bringing up the meds feels like an accusation and like you are saying it is their fault for not taking their meds properly. It takes the focus off of what they are saying to you. They need to be heard, not have you change the subject.)

Don’t Say – Just think positive thoughts.

(If they were able to think positive thoughts they would. The fear part of the brain is sending intrusive terrifying thoughts to their mind. They want it to stop.)

Do Say – You are in a post traumatic stress state. I understand that you feel very threatened. You are not in any immediate danger. Your brain is sending signals to make you feel that way.

Do Say – You are in a state of post traumatic stress.
Is there anything I can do to help you to reduce the level of fear and anxiety ?

Do Say – Something has triggered you to flashback to your original trauma

You feel like your danger level is the same as that situation. That was a horrible thing that happened to you. But your current situation is not the same. It feels that way because it has a similarity to the original trauma.

Do Say – I know you feel afraid and threatened

You had a terrible trauma and something has triggered you to feel the same way you did then. You are safe right now. You are not in danger. Your feelings are an attack of your brain on you. You are safe. Nothing terrible is going to happen. You are safe now.

Do Say – You are safe. I am here for you. You are safe.

Mental Illness / Emotional Healing – The Poweful Effects of Human Electromagnetic Fields on the Nervous System

“The human nervous system can create electric energy waves that can be measured with scientific instruments. The human body produces infra-red radiation that, with night vision equipment, can be seen from miles away.”
Human Electricity

Spiritual garden.com

Scientists have proven that all people give off an electromagnetic field. The nerve impulses in our bodies are actually electric signals. These occur inside of our bodies but they also project out of the body. They create a magnetic energy field that radiates out into the air.

Positive people will radiate a positive energy field and negative people will send out a negative one.
When you are in the vicinity of another person, you will be affected by the energy field that radiates from them.

When close to some people, you may feel as if your body and mind becomes more energised, more hopeful and optimistic.
When close to other people, you may feel as if your energy drains away, a depressing or lazy feeling.“
Human Electricity Spiritual garden.com

When we are trying to heal from a mental illness and addiction, it is critical that we surround ourselves with positive energy fields. If we are made to feel depressed and discouraged, then our self-esteem will go down.

We need our self-esteem to be high in order to have healing in our minds and our bodies.
Low self-esteem is counterproductive to our personal healing and peace of mind.

It is extremely important for our self-esteem that we are around people that radiate positive energy fields. Our bodies will be affected by the other person’s nervous system and the resulting energy field.

When we are around people that are mean, judgemental, vindictive, violent, depressed etc, it sends that exact feeling into us. When you are trying to get better from depression , it is not a good thing to be around people who emit negative energy.

As part of the healing process of mental illness, please surround yourself with healthy, compassionate, kind people. It will help your nervous system to feel calmer. Your nervous system will regulate itself with the other person’s.

*This is similar to the way a newborn baby’s heartbeat and breath regulates to its mother’s when they are cuddled together.*

It is dangerous for us to be around a person with a negative spirit about them. Their nervous system is full of negtivity. This negativity will be felt and absorbed directly into our own personal nervous system.

This is a tested scientific fact. The energy fields have been measured and recorded. This is the reason why you feel bad when you are around a selfish, unkind person.

I know that sometimes we live with someone who is like this. It happens to the best of us. We meet a beautiful man and he seems so great in the beginning. After we move in together then his true colors show themselves. I have done it myself.

If you are stuck in a house with someone that emits negativity then you have a problem. The only thing I can suggest is that you try to spend some with other people who are good for you. Think about your physical proximity to this person and try not to sit close to them all the time.

If you have severe anxiety, PTSD or another mental illness that invades your mind with negative intrusive thoughts, then you need to regulate your nervous system with someone else’s as often as possible.

If you are near someone who is calm and patient, with a kind personality, your nervous system will regulate with theirs and you will feel calmer. It is amazing but it is true.

All the work we go though to become sober from alcohol, quit drugs, control intrusive thoughts etc, we don’t need to be going up the down escalator by sucking bad energy into our nervous systems.

Check out the article called Human Electricity, at spiritual garden.com
I found this article and the web site very interesting and informative. I stumbled upon the site this evening.

On a personal note, I find that I feel my nervous system calming down when I pet my bunny rabbit. I think that animals must also emit energy fields that can be calming to our nervous system. So spending time with your pet be may be helpful. I have not researched this yet but now I have something to do while I am up with my insomnia tonight. LOL

Peace be to you all.
Namaste,
Annie

When Someone with a Mental Illness Reaches Out to You / Do’s and Don’ts

I thought of this idea this morning. It is a way for people with mental illness to get real help from others. There are some people in your life that want to help but they just end up making things worse.

When that happens, you do not want to communicate with them about your pain.
You end up keeping all of your pain bottled up like a secret.

No one wants to reach out for help just to feel invalidated, misunderstood, judged, scolded, intruded upon, and pushed farther down.

The problem that I have experienced is that people “guess” at what will be helpful. They always guess WRONG because they do not understand.

They have not been inside of that pool of pain, feeling the water going farther and farther over their heads. They do not know what it feels like when we are basically being drowned by our own emotions.

It is not something we are allowing to happen or are causing. It is something that invades our minds like a virus. We have no control over the attack of our own brain on us.

Our brain begins to attack itself, our bodies and our hearts. Asking someone to just stop their mental suffering is like asking someone to stop a broken leg from hurting.

A broken bone hurts because our body senses injury. Then the nervous system tells the brain we are hurt, The brain then responds by sending horrific pain signals back through the nervous system to the injury.
So the cycle is : injury, nervous system, brain, nervous system, severe pain.

It is exactly the same cycle with mental illness. The brain and the nervous system coordinate together.

1.Something triggers an intrusive thought.

2. An intrusive thought hurts the brain by activating neurons that are wired to the person’s thought behaviors.

3.The brain reacts by sending a signal through the nervous system into the entire body.

4. The pain is felt throughout the body. It is a nervous system attack.

Neurological behavioral patterns in a person with mental illness are different than other people. It is a biological difference of how the neurons are attached.

The way our neurons are attached in the brain has a disfunction. We cannot do anything about it. It actually gets worse every time we have an episode.

*I will mention here that there is new holistic neurological research ongoing about the ability to rewire the neurons in our brains. I am studying this currently and will let you know when I have anything helpful to tell you. So there is hope. However for the time being , we are stuck with the faulty wiring.*

If people can understand that there is actual biology that is misbehaving with us, maybe they will understand better that our own brains actually attack us, against our will.

So, I am going to give individual scenarios with a do’s and don’t lists for people with mental illness to use as a tool, when reaching out for help. Please feel free to show them or quote the information I provided above , as a way for a greater understanding that most people do not have.

I have experienced myself, that people trying to “help” you, have some go-to words and actions that are both useless and hurtful to us. My next post is going to be Scenario 1.

Please leave me ideas for situations you have been in, so that I can include them. I will try to post a couple of them a week.

Namaste,
Annie

Our Capacity for Love

I work with dementia patients for my job. I would like to share this touching story with you that happened last year.

I have an old woman with dementia in the unit that has severe disorientation of time and place. I will refer to her here as Anna Rosemary.

Anna Rosemary is a sweet lady. She cannot put her words together to make any sentences that make sense. She expresses emotion clearly through facial expression, gestures and the volume and tone of her voice.

If she is sad then she cries. If something amuses her, she laughs. When she sees me she always smiles.

Sometimes when i get to work she looks at me and says “thank God.” which means I have not seen you around, I am glad to see you back.

I stopped to talk with her one night. She likes to talk back and forth. She listens and she responds but her words do not come out the way she wants.

She says to me “I feel like I am cuckoo.” I was surprised at this because it had not occurred to me that she was aware that there was something wrong with her brain.

I repeated it back to her to make sure I had understood her. I said “Anna Rosemary. do you feel like you are cuckoo?”

She said “Yes. I am trying to figure myself out.” I was amazed at the clarity of this sentence. I must have taken a huge amount of effort for her to force her brain to put that sentence together. That shows how important it is for people to communicate their feelings to another person.

I gave her a hug and told her that her brain was being a bit cuckoo and I did not know why. I told her that I still knew her and loved her. I could still understand how she was feeling.

I told her that I feel a bit cuckoo sometimes too. Something happens with our brain sometimes. But that she was still Anna Rosemary.

She hugged me and said “it is hard” I asked her if she felt it was hard to put her words together. She hugged me tighter.

I said to her, “you still know love. You still have a beautiful heart and know what love is.”

“You don’t have to keep trying so hard right now to put the words together. You are full of love and I love you.”

She and I stood there and I held her and kissed the top of her head.

Anna Rosemary hugged me back, and felt comforted, as did I.

She stopped worrying about putting her words together for a while and took my hand to walk with her into the living room area. We just walked together , holding hands for a while in silence.

Sometimes there is more love in silence than with a lot of talking. If she can still love people and needs to be loved then love itself must transcend the basic functions of the brain.

Love and the need to be loved is more powerful than the rational, cognitive parts of the brain.

Even when most of the brain is not functioning properly, love is still alive and thriving.

The brain is the ruling organ of the body. It controls every function in the body, including language processing and speech.

But even with all of those functions damaged, the capacity for love is in tact. There is something very special about our ability to love.