Top 10 or 20 Christmas List

Christmas List

1. Peace of mind
2. Meaningful connection
3. Conversation with a stranger that makes them feel good about themselves
4. Children’s laughter
5. Another step towards enlightenment
6. Financial stability leading towards independence
7. Passion and intimacy
8. New creative projects
9. Better sleep
10. More learning
11. New frienships
12. Another bunny
13. A new flute
14. A wooden rennaissance recorder
15. Art supplies
16. Someplace that feels like home
17. Someone that feels like home
18. More NLP and hypnosis skills and practice
19. Help with the business part of my business
20. Love

Top Ten 10 List / Things That Make me Sm

Things that I make me smile

1,  The sound of my bunny pushing things around in his cage. I like to know he is next to me keeping me company

2. Rainbows

3. My 12 year old daughter giving me the rundown of her latest creative story. She is an inspired writer and very imaginative

4. My 18 year old, all dressed up to go to a dance or on a special date

5. The sound of kids laughing 

6. Getting to bring the flower delivery to an old lady at work, (at the assisted living)  and seeing her eyes light up when she sees the flowers

7. The chicken dance

8. Gangnam style

9. Playing with the balloon with the Alzheimer’s residents. They love that.  I think balloons have magical powers

10. Getting to number 10 on a top ten post, because… I just have to defiant and write another

11. Giving someone their first blog award

12. Giving someone their first WordPress “Like”

13. Ending on 13….just because  it is wrong

Time Once Again for Annie’s Top 10 Random Thoughts List

It it time once again, bum bum bum buuuum….for an Annie’s Top Ten Random Stream of Consciousness Thoughts List. Yay !

So, here we go.

1. I never stick to 10 things, so I  wonder if I will this time…

2. You can try to make a list like this yourself. It is just a free flow list, for you to see what things are running through your head, and also what things just pop into your head.

3. I have been listening to affirmation audio files, that are from Spartan Life Coach. This course is called “Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse”  I really like the audio affirmations,

.4. My favorite affirmation from the tapes is….”I no longer allow people to use me,  in order to feel what it is that they need to feel”

5. This course is designed to help deal with the aftermath of narcissistic abuse. It is made up of a combination of videos, audios and written exercises. I think it is really great and is helping me to feel less anxiety already.

6. Another affirmation he gives is “I do not expect to find compassion and empathy were there is none.”  I am letting go of my expectation of compassion, where I know there is none.

7. These are great things to learn and to understand. The more you keep looking for compassion and empathy, where there is none, the more we torment ourselves and allow abusers to torment us.

8. In the audios, he talks about observing people’s behavior in a calm and detached way, when they are acting in a way to try to drive you into a certain negative emotional state. When you observe them, from a detached point of view, then it becomes more difficult for them to suck you into the emotional state that they want to cause in you.

9. I find that the more I study and learn about a variety of subjects, the better my brain works in general. This is important when I need to be able to asses people and situations. The ability to think faster and better, is helpful in everything I do.

10. Instead of us getting set in our ways, perhaps it is better for us to keep an open mind about the nature of things. If we still see things the way we saw them 10 years ago, then what have we learned. Life should be an ongoing learning process and we should be open to things that there are to learn.

11. This is eleven, I could have stopped at 10, but that would not have been as fun.

12. I wonder where the blog awards came from. I looked up the origin of peer blog awards and I could not find anything. I only found info about more official awards.

Does anyone know how the Versatile Blogger Award or the Liebster Award was started, when they were started or who started them? I was just curious.  I think that I would like to start one of my own. It  would be fun to start it and then track what happens with it.

13. Oh no ! I should not end on 13. But the number 13 is not one of the things I fear. You can make your own list now. ❤

Lots of love,

Annie

Sneezing, Sneezulumpus, Dr. Seuss and Daughters Getting Home Late

10 Random Thoughts from the Amazing brain of Annie

( This brain of mine … would amaze some people and frighten others away !  LOL )

1. Okay the week has been horrifying in some ways, but I somehow survived it. I would not say I survived it unscathed, however.

2. My 18 year old daughter just got home from her date. It is 1:30 am. My younger  daughter told me it is too late for her older sister to be out on a date. I guess she wants me to scold her or something. But she is 18 and the boyfriend is very nice, He has been around for a while now.

3. My head is completely stuffed up from this cold

4. I keep sneezing. I have never sneezed so much, It must be the sneezing virus. That sounds like a Dr Seuss character…. the Sneezulumpus or something

5. I love Dr. Suess

6. “From there to here and Here to there, Funny things are everywhere”  Dr. Suess

7. I need to get my table  lamp back from my daughter. I can’t see my keyboard. My eyes are straining.

8. More sneezing…

9. We have made it to number 9

10. More and more sneezing ! I have to go find a tissue !

11. I never stick to 10

12. Ah – Chooo !

Creative Flow Writing Exercise for Self Exploration

This is a creative writing therapy, self discover exercise that I have thought of just now. I am sure someone has done this before, but it came to my head just now.

You can try this yourself. It is good for times when you

1. Can’t think of what to write

2. Need to express something and cannot find how

3 Are not sure what you feeling

4. Are nor sure what you are thinking

5. Want to explore your mind

Here is the exercise.

 Begin with the first word that comes to your head.

 Write one word to connect to the first word and then continue down to 10 words.

Next I will write phrases. This can be poetic, rational, fantasy or whatever comes to your head. This should be good for you.

You write the words quickly, using the first thing that comes to your head. Do not overthink this, Just keep it flowing, Don’t worry about rules or sticking with anything, Just write!

First word is – Time

Time

1. Fleeting

2. Gone

3. More

4. People

5. Closeness

6. Meaning

7. Remember

8. Metaphysics

9. Same

10. Time

Phrases starting also with the word Time

Time

1. Time is interconnected

2. People are interconnected

3. People move on

4. New friends come in

5. Trust needs to happen

6. It is hard to know who

7. Trust needs to be earned

8. Trust requires faith

9. Faith is within you

10. Even when it has been broken, it can come back

* You can come up with your own starting word, Here are some suggestions, if you can’t think of one.

Love, Friendship, success, writing, blog , connection , life , death, compassion, kindness, peace, future, pain, comfort, book, child, mother, lover, passion, desire, past, cell phone, story, addiction, mind, thoughts, feelings,

Drive safely, Don’t Fall on the Ice, Unplug the Toaster, Pet Your Animals, Love your Children and Say Good Night to Annie

Ten Random Thoughts

1. I am so very tired, I want to stay in bed for a week.

2. I started this list and had no idea what I was going to write.

3. I wish I could work less and spend more time with my kids.

4. I feel sad that my daughter is 18 now. I wish I could go back and have done some things better.

5. Tomorrow I want to let the bunny out to play in my room. I miss him hopping around.

6. I am isolated and alienated by this living situation. I have no friends.

7. My daughter’s new therapist does not care if she retraumatizes me.

8. Retraumatizes comes up in red on my computer. Isn’t is a real word?

9. I learned how to make ❤ on the computer today. This made me happy. Someone on wordpress taught me and they are probably smiling as they read this now and these hearts or for her ❤ ❤ ❤

10. Sadly, that ❤  thing was the only happy thing that happened today

11. This is more than 10 things

12. I am getting more tired

13. My boyfriend has not called and he has always called me every night for 10 months so far. I am used to sleeping with him on the phone

14. I  guess that is why I feel like I have no friends now

15. Maybe he fell asleep and he is still my friend

16. Obsessive thoughts cause severe anxiety

17. More tired now. I was trying to keep going until I could fall asleep

18. I wonder of this top 10 list will make it to 20

19. That’s nineteen

20. I have to take the battery out of my work pager or it will keep making that BEEP noise every 15 minutes all night and drive me  crazy…not that it would be too far to have to drive me

21. My post on the kindness blog did well this week. I think I still have to give you guys the link. One of you found it on your own. Thank you. And now you are smiling because you know who you are 🙂

22. This too shall pass ……..

23. Good Night to all my fellow insomniacs and good morning to whoever wakes up and reads this at 6am, which is going to be an hour after I fall asleep this time

24. We passed 10 and we passed 20

25. Drive safely, don’t fall on the ice, unplug the toaster, pet your animals, love your children and say good night to Annie

26 ❤  🙂  ❤  🙂  ❤

Top Ten Things You Cannot Do About Annoying Relatives !

We might like to, but we cannot…

10. Drop them off at a random bus station and say “good luck!”

9. Change our phone number, but keep telling them they are dialing the number  wrong.

8. Turn out the lights and hide behind the door, like they do in “What About Raymond?” tv show

7. List them on Craig’s List under the “Please Take … Free…you haul”   section

6. Send a postcard from where you go on vacation and tell them you moved there

5. Have a remote control that plays the CD Player really loud, and hit the button every time they start to criticize you or give you annoying advice

4. Fake a doctor’s note that you have suddenly become deaf and cannot talk on the phone or even hear them when they are speaking directly to you

3. Take them back for a refund !

2. Exchange them for a new hair dryer

1. Change your name and identity and move to another state

Time for Annie’s Top Ten 10 Random Thoughts

Time for 10 random thoughts ….

1. I think that only people who have been through a trauma can understand. Maybe therapists that treat PTSD should be people that have been through trauma and are also  trained to treat it. These people that have had cushy lives with no horrible mental injuries cannot understand. How can they help you, if they have no idea how you feel?

2. I love veggie straws and I sometimes eat them while sipping a peach fuzzy navel wine cooler. It is a strange flavor combination that I find oddly pleasurable

3. I love my bunny soooo much. He is sooo funny

4. I am tired and want to sleep for a week

5. Facebook has closed groups for mental health. There are some for bipolar disorder, PTSD, domestic abuse survivors , eating disorders etc. You can search tags in the facebook search bar. Type in anxiety, depression or mental illness or whatever you are looking for. Then you click to request to join the group. They usually approve you and then give you the group rules

6. Writing poetry is easy, dealing with live people is hard

7. Sometimes I am afraid I

8. My flute is broken and I want to buy a new one with the tax refund. Then I can play flute for you all 🙂

9. I think that blogging can be great therapy

10. Making certain kinds of lists can be therapeutic. The part of the brain that is involved in organizing and sorting ideas becomes activated. When that part is dominant, the fear center of the brain is quieter. Just make lists about things that are not anxiety provoking. You can list things about your mental health if it helps.

Ideas for lists

1. Lists within lists LOL

2. Lists about what to list LOL

3. Fears

4. Dreams

5. Achievements

6. People you like

7. Favorite somethings….animals, colors, sensations, movies….

8. Question that starts a list “What I would do if I were a queen..” “What I would change if I were president…”  “What would I do if I lived in a a mansion?”

9. favorite post of Annie 🙂

10. Favorite posts of your own

Top Ten List – Ten Random Facts About Annie

This is a just for fun and letting you get to know me better list. Ten random facts about me .

1. I have two daughters that are beautiful and very artistic. They are independent thinkers just the way I raised them to be.

2. I went to college as a music education major. My main instrument was classical guitar. I also did voice.

3. I barely remember how to play classical guitar but I still can play rock, rock and roll , fold music and blues. I am eccectic about the music I like to perform.

4. A typical set list that I used to play at the restaurants and bars was

Take it Easy – by the Eagles

Love is a Rose-  by Linda Rondstat

Blue Sued Shoes – by Elvis Presley

Leaving on a Jet Plane – by Peter Paul and Mary

Country Roads – by John Denver

Layla – by Eric Clapton

Sunshine of your Love – by Cream

Hey Joe – by Jimmie Hendrix

On the Banks of the Ohio – by Joan Baez

Big Yellow Taxi – by Joni Mitchell

Mercedes Benz – by Janis Joplin

White Rabbit – by Jefferson Airplane

Wish You Were Here – by Pink Floyd

Major Tom – by David Bowie

Hotel California – by the Eagles

Rock Around the Clock – by Buddy Holly

California Dreamin – by Mamas and the papas

She Loves You – by The Beatles

Don’t Stop – by Fleetwood Mac

For What it’s Worth – by Buffalo Springfield

Ain’t That a Shame – by Fats Domino

5. I have not played professionally in about 10 years but I would like to get back into the bar gig scene.

6. I need to learn some of the newer songs because all the songs I know are old.

7. There is cold air blowing through my bedroom window right now, because the plastic I put up blew apart.

8. I love my bunny rabbit very much.

9. I love my boyfriend very much but do not see him often because he lives and works in another state.

10. I am the oldest of 5 girls. My youngest sister is 20 years younger than me.

Top Ten 10 List of Typical Priorities / What is Wrong with this Picture?

1.  Be  the daughter that I am expected to be

2. Be a good upstanding church member, or PTA member…

3.  Make myself look presentable and respectable to others

4. Be the mature, responsible oldest sibling, or the perfect dutiful wife.

5. Be a textbook, perfect parent

6. Be a model citizen and community member

7. Please the neighbors by meeting their expectations

8. Make the company I work  for, look good

9. Make my co-workers look good

10. Take care of myself and my own needs.

*There is only one true critical thing on this list.

The others have to wait for this one to be accomplished, even if it takes years. Some of the things on the list should be crossed off. Others should be re-worded to make them more manageable.

I know what my opinion and feelings are about each one, but you should think through them for yourself.

But again, I say, there is only one true priority on this list. Without it, we can do nothing well. No one else is going to step up and do it for you.  It is the only possible solution for reducing severe anxiety.