Trigger Warning for this Video.
This is an emotionally graphic video about how it feels to live with Borderline Personality Disorder. It could be very triggering, so only watch if you are in a relatively stable state of mind.
I related to the feelings of fear of abandonment. I tend to claw at people when I feel they might betray me, when I really just want them to hug me. I sometimes push people away when I want to be close to them.
I cannot control the urge from my brain to so this. It feels at the time that I have to defend my safety, but I am actually threatening the relationship by acting out at the person in this way.
I have been told recently that I have symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder. I do not know if I do or not, but I do relate to the tremendous fear of abandonment and the attacking the ones I most want close to me.
The issues and emotions portrayed in this video also apply to PTSD and other severe anxiety disorders involving strong feelings of threat.